Siblings sharing a room....??

Cassie - posted on 03/11/2011 ( 21 moms have responded )

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Hi :) I have three beautiful children. A 10 year old girl, 4 year old boy and 3 year old girl. My oldest daughters father is trying to fight me for custody of my daugter because she is sharing a room with her sister. I dont see the issue with this and cant see how any judge would take her away from me seeings how I have raised her (w him seeing her on breaks and every other weekend) since she was 2, just because she shares a room with her little sister. Does anyone have any words of wisom regarding this matter?

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User - posted on 12/23/2011

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thats dumb! it might be more of an issue if your daughter and son share a room, but even then, if they are siblings it wouldnt matter. i dont think he has a case

Shaune - posted on 03/16/2011

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I dont think the judge will rule in his favor sweetheart let me tell you I have a 16, 11 and 7 year old girl. Until just recently they all shared a bedroom since we lived in a 2bdr apt. We now have a 3bdr house and they two youngest still share a room...what is the big deal its not like they are of the opposite sex and even if they were as long you have never been in any trouble with child protective services no one can tell you where you children sleep.

Glenda - posted on 03/15/2011

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No judge in his right mind would take a child away because they share a room. Its a scare tactic dont let it bother you. it will be fine. Keep your head up

Cassie - posted on 03/15/2011

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He is just pulling at strings... But I will fight him til the end! When it comes to my children I WILL NOT back down! :):) Thank you all for your encouraging words :)

Amanda - posted on 03/15/2011

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dont worry about it. children of the same gender can share a room. your ex is full of crap. no judge would take him seriously if that is his only arguement. let him waste his money on a lawyer to try and fight you.
so long as your childrens room is safe and clean and your children are clean, healthy, fed and happy thats all that matters. God I think some exes should just jump off a bridge, some get so damn picky.

Marie - posted on 03/15/2011

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i can't see a judge taking her away becouse she is sharing with her sister lots of familys have to do this and actually in england if you have two children of the same sex and you are in council acomidation they will only let you have a two bedroom house one room for you and one for kids so it's not a bid deal, the only time the council will do any diffrent is if you have a boy and a girl but then they are still alowed to share untill the age of 10 then they have to have there own room,

Pam - posted on 03/14/2011

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Now that my 18 year old daughter is in college and has a roommate, I can honestly say that if more children shared a bedroom, there wouldn't be so much drama happening among roomies all over America. It is so healthy to share a room, and learn early to share, care, and be considerate. There is no way a judge will say that sharing a room is unhealthy for a child; quite the opposite.

[deleted account]

Sharing a room with your sibs is wonderful! I'm not sure when "we" decided everyone HAS to have his own space at such young ages! It's crazy to think that it is a need! The Greatest Generation had multiple kids sleeping in the same BED, nevermind the same room and they raised more hard-working, upstanding, content pillars of society than this generation will, I'm willing to bet. Not that sleeping like sardines is the reason----just that it certainly doesn't seem to hurt anyone. I have a 20 yo, 16 yo and a 10 yo. They all slept in the same room at one point, even though there were 2 kids' rooms (because the now 10 yo was a pleasant surprise and our home was a smallish starter home, plus, they liked to be together. They claimed fewer nightmares that way.) I used to love hearing them in there speaking kindly and softly to one another, giggling, etc. It would seem like they would have been more rowdy and taken longer to get to sleep but in reality, it seemed to send them off more quickly---security in numbers?? Tell your ex- that if he continues paying the lawyers' hourly fee, his entire family may be sleeping in a one room shelter! :)

Cassie - posted on 03/14/2011

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Jennifer you are so right and thats exactly what my attorney is pushing for. Because he is absolutely no justification for any of this. Thank you for the support!

Jennifer - posted on 03/14/2011

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Doesn't sound like you have anything to worry about. What a pain to have to deal with such absurdity! Often the judge will require the parent( bringing such stupid matters to court) to pay for the legal fees of the other parent. Good Luck !

Cassie - posted on 03/13/2011

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Thank you guys all so much :)) No my daughter actually loves sharing a room with her little sister :) I was shocked that his attorney filed the case either... but I guess he is going to because no matter the outcome he is still getting paid. I have a very good attorney that laughed at it, but you still have some what of a worry deap down inside when it has something to do with even the slightest possibility of losing your child. But I am keeping my head up and fighting to the fullest because I know that she is being taken care of, they are all 3 being taken care of. They are all happy, healthy kids that love life!! I feel like it is a total waste of time & money, but I am not going to back down....

I really appreciate all of your input :) Its nice to here the thoughts of other mothers!

[deleted account]

Like the others have said, he doesn't have a case and I'm honestly suprised his lawyer filed the motion (if he has a lawyer).

My stepdaughter lives with us full time, and has since her mother abandoned her over 5 years ago. She has her own room, but her 3 year-old sister sleeps in that room (she has a bunk bed - she sleeps on the top and the younger one sleeps on the bottom). It hasn't been an issue and our oldest loves having her little sister sleep in her room! :)

Keri - posted on 03/13/2011

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He has no case. If she was sharing a room with a boy that was 10 or older there could be an issue, but there are no restrictions to siblings of the same sex sharing a room.

Theresa - posted on 03/12/2011

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@Sylvia- Why would the lawyer care how absurd the argument is, he gets paid. If he puts the kibosh on it his money ends. :)

Sylvia - posted on 03/12/2011

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WHAT?! That's absurd. I'm actually really surprised your ex's lawyer hasn't put the kibosh on that line of argument -- I can't imagine that any halfway intelligent family court judge wouldn't laugh it right out of court.

OTOH, having been through a divorce myself (my parents', that is), I can attest that non-custodial parents do come up with totally absurd arguments all the time :P

Theresa - posted on 03/12/2011

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We do foster care and as far as social services is concerned siblings (of either sex) can share a room. If they're not siblings, then only the same sex can share a room. Does your daughter complain about sharing a room? Sometimes siblings actually like sharing a room. I think a judge would laugh at the father trying to use that as a reason.

Jenni - posted on 03/12/2011

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Sounds like he's grasping at straws and wasting both of your time and money, unfortunately.
I shared a room with my brother when he was a baby, my sister when we were older and eventually we all had our own room when we were teens. But not everyone can afford a 4 bedroom house. Especially when a family is divorced. That's just ridiculous.
We have a 3 bedroom house right now and when My SD is here every other weekend, she shares a room with my son. They are 3.5 yrs and 2.5 yrs. Her BM had some issues with it. Just because they are mixed gender (I personally don't see a problem b/c they are both so young). We had to explain to her our 3rd bedroom is VERY small (where my 10 month old is). There would be no room for a crib and toddler bed in that room. And I wasn't going to put my son in the small room because he needs more room to play than the baby and more room for his toys. It wouldn't be fair to stick him in the little room so my SD could share the large room with my daughter when she is only here 5 days out of the month.

Rachel - posted on 03/12/2011

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He has no case. Children can share rooms especially the same gender I shared a room with my sister until i was 14 and we are both fine. As long as your son doesnt share a room with them you are fine. dont worry he doesnt have a case

Cassie - posted on 03/12/2011

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Yes that is honestly all he has... Its pretty ridiculous honestly. I have 3 very healthy happy children none of which go with out anything they need. I think it has more to do with his current wife pushing him to do this then anything... Sad, cause the money being wasted on lawyers could be being applied to something our daughter enjoys or wants...

Lise - posted on 03/11/2011

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I don't think he has a case if that is all he has. Lots of kids share bedrooms, I shared a room with my older brother until I was 10 and I'm not scarred. Good luck

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