since ive had my baby girl 5 months ago i really cant be bothered havin sex anymore i have no sex drive what so ever anyone else feel the same ?

Stephanie - posted on 01/27/2009

You are so normal. Not only are your hormones whacked out, it's hard to adjust to seperating yourself from the Mom roll. And who said that dirty diapers and spit up were an aphrodisiac? With my first, I got an overnight sitter, rented a hotel room in the city, and took my husband out for his birthday. There was no sex on my mind in the planning of this event, but we almost never made it to dinner after checking into the hotel. Just being away made me feel like a woman again.

I've also heard that pleasuring yourself will help you want the real thing more often.

Laurie - posted on 01/27/2009

I was the same way. I felt bad about it. But I had no interest until my daughter was nearly 10 months old. It wasn't really until my cycle started getting back to normal. And even if I was in the mood, I was too tired to care. But it did return. Like someone else said, if you have a caring partner, he will understand. Something we started doing, is my husband puts the baby to bed. That gives me some time to myself, to wind down, and to get into the mood.

User - posted on 01/27/2009

Ladies,

I found an herbal supplement (safe for nursings moms, too!) that greatly increased my sex drive. It's by Nature's Sunshine and is called: Women's X-Action.

I started taking 1/2 the recommended dosage, and within 3 days, I noticed a boost in my sex drive - not a surge, mind you, but at least enough of a difference to where I was like, "Sex? Sounds kind of fun."

Good luck to all of you!

Karen - posted on 01/27/2009

Hi Ricci. My son is 9 months and I'm the same. I still breastfeed too which can also make an impact.

Audrey - posted on 01/27/2009

I think the main problem, apart from the hormonal one, is tiredness.  Just  keep doin it sweetheart, whether you feel like it or not, and one day you'll get a surprise!  Don't judge yourself or feel like you have lost anything; its all still there!  My advice may surprise you - but I know that if you stop for a long period of time you will secretly be very anxious about this and you may also feel like you have created a barrier between you and your partner (whether this is true or not, you will feel it, and that will make you feel bad).  Men aren't stupid, they know when we're just doing it to please them but, at the same time, they are grateful and appreciate that we are reaching out to them with all that we have at that time.  Listen honey, when sex is bad its still pretty good!  You don't need any more worries on top of caring for a new baby; its hard enough work as it is.  You need to keep as much of the rest of your life ticking over as you can; so make sure you feel secure and confident in your contraceptive choice and give him the "come hither" now and again; that way you'll be giving yourself the chance to find out whether your sex drive really is still "dead" and you'll be releasing yourself from any hidden fears about your marriage.  Sometimes, sweetheart, take it from an old Grandma, love is not a feeling - its a decision.  Hope it won't be long before the sex blues are out of the way and you are really enjoying it again.

Shall I tell you a funny little story?  When my first baby was born (30 years ago), we still had his cot in the bedroom cos he was only a few months old.  One day my husband and I were getting amorous when, all of a sudden, a little grinning face popped up above the sides of the cot.  Yes, it did kill the moment rather!  And we moved him into his own room!  

You'll be all right, darling, I promise!  xx

Christina - posted on 01/27/2009

My son is five months old too.  And I feel the same way you do.  I figure that it has alot to do with not getting much sleep and the sleep I do get isn't very good.  I do know that it does get better with time and I know my husband understnds.  I am also breast feeding and that takes a lot of energy and time.  Once he starts solids he should start sleeping longer and than things will get better.  It's just mother natures way of making sure we don't get to much on our plates.  Hang in there, I am!

Christina - posted on 01/27/2009

My son is five months old too.  And I feel the same way you do.  I figure that it has alot to do with not getting much sleep and the sleep I do get isn't very good.  I do know that it does get better with time and I know my husband understnds.  I am also breast feeding and that takes a lot of energy and time.  Once he starts solids he should start sleeping longer and than things will get better.  It's just mother natures way of making sure we don't get to much on our plates.  Hang in there, I am!

Kathy - posted on 01/27/2009

yeah, i feel the same too. but many friends and also our doctor told me this is very normal while we breastfeed our bubs.

don't worry too much. he would understand!

Liesl - posted on 01/27/2009

From a horribly scientific side... there is a hormone or something we produce when we breast feed. It lowers our sex drive. Your sex drive will return. This chemical reaction is what also causes some women to kick into overdrive (have an overabundance creating an overactive sex drive and also in women who have an extremely low count (permanently!) which means they are never really interested in sex. Just let your husband/partner/boyfirend know that it is actually chemical and not a reflection on your feelings. I can't tell you what a relief I found this info myself. It was like a little light came back into my world knowing that this happens to LOTS of women.. we jsut never talk about it.

Sharon - posted on 01/27/2009

I've got a little 18 month old girl and can definately empathise with where you are coming from! I had no sex drive what so ever for a long time after she came along, but it does get better. I still don't have the drive that I had pre bubs, but it is slowely coming back to what it was originally. It must have got better, coz baby number 2 is on the way!! Try not to worry too much, it only makes it worse.

Helen - posted on 01/27/2009

It gets better, try not to stress and explain to your husband that it is part of being a mom.

Simone - posted on 01/27/2009

Quoting Ricci:

since ive had my baby girl 5 months ago i really cant be bothered havin sex anymore i have no sex drive what so ever anyone else feel the same ?

i was like that i had no sex drive to my baby was 12 months old and even then i was not full in to it.. give it time it will return even thou you might not feel it now... our babies take alot of energy out of us but if u have a caring and loving partner he will understand