Sister-in-laws from hell

Cindy - posted on 07/27/2009 ( 31 moms have responded )

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How many other moms out there have a sister-in-law from hell?

I'll give you all the latest indignaty this woman did.

Our Son's first Birthday was at my hubby's mom's house. She is 80 years old, has all her facilties, is just the most awesome LADY I know. But just like my mom she "smokes" - no big deal to us. (Our children just love her, and if she ever passed away our family would be devistated.)

We are having a great time and then, she starts belittleing her husband (my hubby's brother) over how to install a smoke detector. During our Son's Birthday Party. And then she takes hubby aside and packs up their daughter and goes outside. During the PARTY. I just happened to be helping mother MacT when "He" comes up to his mom and asks her to turn off the A.C. and open some windows because the "smoke smell" is bugging his wife. It was 35 degrees Celcius outside and we had to open the windows to please this woman. During the Party. (FYI I could smell nothing in the house, Hubby and I do not smoke ourselves. When we went to my moms we can smell "Smoke" the moment we walk in the door.)

Anyone else suffer from Outlaw in-laws?

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Carrie - posted on 07/27/2009

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My sister-in-law (married to my husband's brother) used to be awful to me! She had a rough family life when younger and actually lived with our in-laws for a while when she was dating her now husband. Obviously, she got really close with them and HATED me when I came into the picture and started dating my husband. She couldn't handle sharing the attention. In fact, she didn't even like sharing the attention with our in-laws' actual daughter!! She took this jealousy out on me especially and made every family get-together terrible. Nobody could joke, nobody could relax, nobody could have fun. She would say offensive things, interrupt me when I spoke, blatantly tell secrets in front of me to leave me out - anything she could to keep the attention on her. When my wedding came around I asked her to be a bridesmaid hoping to create a better relationship. She was so mean and awful on my wedding day! I guess I asked for that one, but I still couldn't believe she would enjoy ruining someone's special day. She hated me for having a bridal shower (nobody threw one for her) she hated me for having a real church wedding and reception (they went to the court house) and when I got pregnant, she got so mad and told everyone she was supposed to be the first one because she was the first to get married. She didn't come to my baby shower because of "gas prices" supposedly, but didn't send a gift, a card, and didn't even R.S.V.P. She made it so none of our in-laws could talk about me or be happy for me and my husband - THEIR SON - because it would upset her. How selfish, right? The in-laws finally told her she needed to quit making me and everyone else miserable and that she wasn't going to get away with behaving like that anymore. At one point, before a family gathering, my father-in-law called my brother-in-law and told him if they were coming he better tell his wife to "keep her fangs in."

Well, when our son was finally born, she and my husband's brother came over to see the new baby and everything has been magically better since then. She acts like nothing ever happened! I love being able to enjoy family get-togethers now, but it's sure hard for me to pretend like nothing ever happened. I just keep my mouth shut, I talk to her when she talks to me, and hope that someday I can forget about everything in the past!

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Casey - posted on 07/31/2009

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wow. i have a perfectly fine sister-in-law and i guess i should be grateful, considering the posts i just read. we should all remember that we don't just HAVE sisters-in-law, we also ARE them.

Emma - posted on 07/31/2009

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your sisster in laws sound like pusy cats compaired to mine. my husbands half sister. She is a total narsasist, everything is about her EVERYTHING. She is Bi Poler and even though she has been on meds for years (so should be stable) she is not. She uses it as an exscuss for everything, well the once she has admitted any wrong doing.

I cant repeat the things she has said and done, they are to disterbing. Needless to say that woman is not aloud in our house, i tolarate her twice a year, when we meet in a public place for no longer than an hour, She is not aloud to have any contact with my kids unless i am present. and in our wills, it is clearly stated that if my family for some reason could not care for our kids, that they rather go to the state, than into her care.

thats how bad my SIL from hell is......

Cindy - posted on 07/30/2009

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I'm going to leave this thread open until I return from camping. So, monday, I will delete this Q and A. Thanks again Everybody.

And Sharon Grey - I'll see you in the next conversation.

Sharon - posted on 07/29/2009

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I rarely use sunblock on my kids. I agree its vitamin D. The only times I use it is when I expect us to be in the sun for a LONG period of time or if we are at the lake. And thats because sunburns hurt!!

Cindy - posted on 07/29/2009

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OH MY GOD. Sharon Grey (I love you, you are so blunt, we need to swap notes), Jodie poole you need to up your meds (or maybe you should get some).

I feel sorry for all the victims of Sister In Laws from Hell. I'm glad I asked the question. I know I don't have it that bad.

I'm sorry to all the NON SMOKERS out there, but it not illegal to smoke and I will not deny my mom-in-law or my mom visits with my kids. I'm not going to debate the issue. FYI to you buggers I don't ever put sun screen on my kids - it's called Vitamin D - best source is not food - it's sun shine. If we all die from skin cancer who cares I'm going out with a great Tan.



Have a great day.

Sharon - posted on 07/29/2009

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Jodi - get bent.



Lisa I'm sorry. My husbands family is to cowardly for outright murder but they are more than happy to drink & drive or drive while under the influence. One of my husbands' nephews was arrested in Oklahoma for being a drug dealer. All the family had to say was "how stupid to be caught selling drugs in the bible belt, he should have stayed here where the law doesn't care." They are such pigs. Thankfully my husband was raised mostly by a nanny. Being the baby of a family 6 helped him too.



After we proved my SIL was the one embezzling funds they quit speaking to us and I've been the happiest I've been in years with regards to family functions. His whole family fell apart and now we only speak to his feeble minded mother. Now that the kids have taken her for all the money they can no one goes to visit or to help out.

Michelle - posted on 07/29/2009

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Lisa that is so sad!! I actually remember hearing about that! I'm so sorry for your loss! As for the original post: I have a great SIL who would do anything for me, my daughter or my hubby (her little brother). She has always wanted a little girl (she has 2 boys), but has never been able to carry a girl! Everytime she has been pregnant with one she's lost it. Same goes for her mom. So she is always wanting to do things with our daughter and help out in anyways she can. She buys things for her all the time too:)

Now my MIL is a whole different story!! She has physically attacked me twice! Once because she found out that her little boy was moving in with his b*&^# of a girlfriend (me)! She wore black and did not smile once at our wedding! And she came at me again when we had a disagreement over something we were talking about. All I had said was I'm not going to fight with you over something dumb and I'm going home. I went to get my hubby and when we tried to leave he had to step between us so I could get out the door!! She's INSANE!! I still go there from time to time for my hubby, but I hardly open my mouth because I'm afraid to set her off! Mainly because we have our daughter now!

So good luck to everyone with their CRAZY "Outlaw In-Laws"!

Lisa - posted on 07/29/2009

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Always watch out for family. My sister in law murdered my only brother Randy in Washington State in 2006. She was a liar and a cheat. We use to say everytime her mouth was moving she was lying. She is locked up now but our lives are forever changed. My husband and I have adopted my brothers only little girl whom was 4 at the time and saw mommy kill daddy. You can learn more about my brother randy at www.randys-law.com

Jodie - posted on 07/28/2009

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Sharon,

All I have to say is that I hope you dont kiss anyone with that mouth coz its FOUL...

Take care...

Amanda - posted on 07/28/2009

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I have a SIL and MIL from hell, sometimes. It was a lot worse before JM and i were married. When we were dating, they liked me when it was convient for them or they weren't in a mood. i still have a few problems with my SIL but it has improved even more since the birth of our son in march. I agree with Kate, sometimes you just need to put them in their place. we did that to my sil for her birthday last year, we 'forgot' her birthday since it was always mine birthday that she seemed to forget. let me tell you it really got to her and i was never forgotten for anything again.she may not spend money on me (which i never really cared about anyways) but always texts me what the special day is either mothers day, my birthday or valentines day.

Josie - posted on 07/28/2009

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I had a SIL like that. My brother's wife, anything and everything that ruffled her feathers she would whine about. She was vulgar and realeased the worst energy I ever felt. But believe it or not.... she's not as bad as my husband's sister. That sorry excuse of a women came into my house when I was 8 and a half month pregnant, I worked like a dog cause my husband quit his job, and she had the heart to steal money and hubby's gold necklace and my engagement ring. She stole my FIL's gold and blamed my husband for it, stole 10 thousand dollars for her father and in the end my father in law blamed her friends for influencing her. The bitch has no friends cause she stole from them, but she manages to find the sweetest men, and then she screws them over to...
My FIL warned me never to say a word, and not nicely, and because I'm such a fool I kept quite and sat at the kitchen table ever blessed Sunday and broke bread with this woman. Every Sunday morning I would wake up with stomach aches and anxieties, I was making myself sick because I had to keep up appearances for my FIL's sake. She would sit there while we served her and her attitude was always mightier then tho. Then at 40 yrs old I decided I was old enough to decide who was worth being in my circle of friends, and she clearly was NOT. I told my husband that if he wanted to have lunch with his family I had no objections but if he would force me to attend another of his family functions then I would leave him, I was getting sick with all the stress I was feeling.
He had no problems with my decision, as a matter of fact he was able to pull back himself because after 18 years of abuse I was able to stand my ground.
I wish her well, I would never wish anyone ill will, but I was her to stay away from me and my family. There's nothing good that comes out of this woman, I know she's told stories about me, and I really don't care, cause when anyone sits and speaks with me they come to see who I really am... and I'm a really nice person. I actuallt feel sad for her, and all the miserable and nasty people will come and will come in contact with. What a miserable life they must lead....
So smile all you nice and well adjusted people... be thankful for the loved ones that surround you and when you are in the presence of those nasty-in-laws. smile. You'll be leaving them behind at the end of the day and while they are still miserable, you'll be in the bosom of your loving family.
Many blessing to all you wonderful women

Sharon - posted on 07/28/2009

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LOL Jodie I don't give a shit what you think. I moved hundreds of miles to gain more family and instead I gained a bunch of psychotic bitches who thought it was funny to call and offer get togethers then do nothing, to call and ask what I was having for dinner then ask if I really knew how to cook, who told people I used my hair to wipe my ass.



I never did a thing to them. I was never anything but polite or kind to them or their snot nosed brats who are now visiting detention centers when they aren't busy trying to score pot like their mom & dad.



I did what I did. It lowered my standards for my personal code of honor a bit but after YEARS of taking their shit - I finally felt better because in a way I was finally able to speak out without causing my husband harm in his relationship with his remaining sister & brothers. If I had spoken up at a family gathering his whole family 5 other brothers & sisters would have immediately risen up against us with their wives, children etc.



This is a small town. Because of them I haven't made a single friend here who is native to the area. I make friends through a meet & greet committee, through the military, etc. As long as they aren't from this area - I can be their friend. But if they grew up here - then the already know about so-n-so's wife who is a dirty disgusting slob. Even though it was his sister who was forced out of a condemned out because of the bugs & packrats!



So screw you for not knowing the story and for not reading what I typed originally.

Jodie - posted on 07/28/2009

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Carrie:



My appologies that you have thought that I was talking about you - I had written that response to the comments made by Sharon Grey...



I hadn't previously read your comments on here although I have now and I believe that you are totally right in saying what you have...

You were sure the bigger person and I just would like to say that Im sorry that you went through that pain and especially on your big day - totally not nice or something that anyone should ever do, even to their worst enemy.



Anyway sorry that you thought that I was replying to you or referring to you as evil, my appologies for the misunderstanding.

Stacey - posted on 07/28/2009

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I guess im one of the lucky ones because i could never asked for better in laws. Unfortunately we lost my mother in law a few years ago 4 days before my husbands b-day. She was a wonderful women. My father in law is awesome too. He is the greatest and i love him with all my heart. Also my bro-in-law and sis-in-law are wonderful too. I always have felt bad for people that dont get along with any of there in-laws. As my father-in-law told me once " If u cant help family who can u help". I love my husbands whole family. I no that if we ever need anything no matter what it is or what time it is they would be there in a heart beat and we would be there for them as well. So im am sorry to all of you that have the outlaw in-laws.

Carrie - posted on 07/28/2009

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Jodie:

Please don't say we all are evil back or accuse everyone of lowering their standards and wasting all of this "time on our hands." If you read my post, I said nothing of doing anything back to my SIL - that's because I never have. I let her treat me like crap for years and never stood up for myself because I didn't want to make the situation worse. I thought my in-laws would feel like they had to choose a side if I ever did anything so I kept my mouth shut and was the bigger person. I also added at the end of my post that hopefully someday I can forget about everything in the past because my SIL wants to be friends now. AND, I'm a stay at home mom and do have time on my hands, and I spend all of that time taking care of my son to the best of my abilities. I don't claim to be perfect, but I am a good person and don't seek revenge, and I would never show my son that kind of behavior. If anything, my son will see me let others walk all over me, and that's not too great either. So I understand where you're coming from, but was a little offended by some of your comments.

Jodie - posted on 07/28/2009

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I dont get how you can say that ur SILs are evil when ur the one doing the evil things.

I dont want to have a go at you at all but wouldnt u think that if ur gonna say someone else is evil that u should b the one with the higher standards and not lower urself to their level... I can not understand why u call them evil and yet u think its ok for u to do evil things to them - thats only making u in the same standard as they are...

Maybe its coz Im only 22 that I can not understand this behaviour or maybe its because I have 2 babies that are both under 2 years old and that I am more mature so I can get over other peoples issues and not need to lower my standards of living for myself or my children just for "revenge" - its a pure waste of time and energy that you could be putting into your childrens time n lives for the future... Im guessing since you have all this time on ur hands that you dont work either - you really need to focus on your own standard of life that you want for yourself and your child/ren - after all it is the standard and behaviour that our kids see us doing that shapes and creates their lives for their future - honestly do u want your child/ren having this kind of evilness in them just for the simple fact of getting even and having revenge...



Lets all just think about that for a minute!!!

Shelley - posted on 07/28/2009

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my husband asked me to not speak my mind at first, now he just doesnt care cuz his family treats him like shit most of the time. i mean for hell sakes i think that his dad wishes that he wasnt even born cuz he sure treats him that way. the sad thing is his dad treats his son-in-laws better then his own son. of course i dont think that things will get much better now with his dad, but what do u do. i could go on and on but i'm afraid that if i do then it will really piss me off.

Cindy - posted on 07/27/2009

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Melissa I understand where you are coming from. You have a great reason to feel that way.

Our parents have been smoking longer then we have been alive. Mother MacT was smoking while the couple of outlaws were dating. Mother MacT was still smoking the day they got married. Mother MacT has not changed her ways. But now the Outlaws have an issue.

A polite thing to do would be to stay home and g-f-herself or send a card. Not show up and be demanding at party for a child. Destroying the happy memories of children at the party.

Their Daughter turns 2 on september 1st, we will be sending a card with a gift card inside. It's only polite.

I should also make the point that Mother MacT does not smoke around the grand children. She prefers to have a smoke outside unless the weather is nasty. If the weather is bad she will not have a smoke until the weather is better or we are all gone. There is no smell in her home.



Have a great day Melissa. And I am so sorry for your Loss.

Laura - posted on 07/27/2009

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I have one sister in law and we are both very different. She is a stay home mom; I work full time. She nursed until her kids were 2 years old. I nursed until my girls were one. She graduated from high school. I have a college degree. I haven't been told anything on my face, but I have heard the way she talks about neighbors who work full time and are not with their children 24/7. I truly believe that people are presented with different opportunities and whatever the circumstances, we should always be respectful (and supportive) of other people's choices. A working mother is not a bad mother.

Mimi (Hilary) - posted on 07/27/2009

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my inlaws ( mostly the parent inlaws) like to dictate how our lives should be run.... and think that im not the right one because... well I decided to be a stay at home mother.. .her take on it is she has had to work all her life to help support her family and so I should have to work to.... and every holiday MUST be spent at her house without any regard to my side of the family.... the fact that im 32 and wear low rise jeans and tank tops, have tattoos, and "used" to work in a bar makes me a menace to society .... I dont wear makeup so ther for i dont care about my appearance...



I just ignore her.. wear what I want... do what i want ... and yes.. even skip out on holidays at her house and go to my familys instead .. without telling her... ( when she jsut calls and says dinenr is this day at this time be here at such and such .... and bring this type of food but make it my way not your way....... blah blah blah) I just dont show up and I dotn tell her im not coming..... shes getting better .. slowly but .. surely ...

Kate - posted on 07/27/2009

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I have a younger SIL. She is 22 now and just got engaged. She had a problem with me (which she never said to my face, but I knew from what she said to DH) from the time we started dating because he was HER big brother and she wanted all his attention. Suddenly she didn't have that when I was in the picture. She used to cry and beg him for attention and get upset about EVERYTHING when we first started dating. Like once he said I was better at a card game than her -- she cried for hours. Once she drove down (we live in a major city) and called to ask directions to the mall -- didn't stop to see us. She only calls or sends messages if she needs something. She did not even come to DD's first birthday party or even send a message to wish her happy birthday (not even a quick IM or Facebook message!). She showered my other niece with presents though (she is 3.5 now). She showed up with the rest of the family 2 days after DS was born and insisted on holding him, then LATER announced she was sick!! WHO DOES THAT? Anyway -- we get pretty fed up with her!

Libby - posted on 07/27/2009

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Yes, I have crazy in laws too. One being a sister in law (my husband's sister). I tend to ignore her. But I have in fact had to put her in her place when she was throwing one of her fits in our home and around our children. You just have to decide how much you will put up with. It was easy enough for me to say to her that this is "my house". It wouldn't be that easy to say that in your MIL's house, but you can still express that it isn't good to be acting this way in front of the children. How embarrassing for her husband. Geesh!

Sharon - posted on 07/27/2009

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YES! Freaking nut jobs.



MY SILfrom hell told 30 + strangers that I probably used my longer than waist length hair to wipe my ass.

[deleted account]

lol...I like that "outlaw in-laws". I have only ever had problems with my MIL. Ugh!!! She's flat out lied about me to family and has made me out to be awful. I didn't quite understand why she hated me because we live across the country from them and she doesn't even know me! My BIL got married last year and she was pretty good with my now SIL before they got married. I told her before they were married that I hoped that it stayed that way. I didn't want her to deal with what I deal with. But, not long after they were married...she turned on her. Now they don't even speak to her. Luckily, I had the chance to go visit with my in-laws up there and they had a chance to get to know me. I had never gone up to visit without my husband, and of course he is the center of attention when we go, so it was nice to get a chance to get to know them a little better and for them to get to know me. His mom and I still don't talk. It's better that way I think!

Melissa - posted on 07/27/2009

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You may have a rocky past with your sister-in-law and so everything she does now rubs you the wrong way - I definitely get that! However, smoking should bug you, especially around your children. My mom died from lung cancer from smoking when I was 20, so you are very lucky to still have your mom and mom-in-law in your life. I can understand why your sister-in-law was bugged by the smoke - it would have bugged me, too. Perhaps the way she dealt with it was poor. She should have just said a polite goodbye instead of forcing everyone else to deal with her problem. Anyway, I know that is probably not the answer you were hoping for, but I hope you don't expose your kids to toxic substances just because you love your mother-in-law/mom and don't mind the "smell"!

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