sleep through the night?

Cari - posted on 01/08/2009

Hi Abigail,

My son was the same way. I couln't let him cry it broke my heart. I got sneakier, he too didn't want water, so I started watering down his milk bottle little by little till finally i just added enough milk so that it just colored the water. It was funny because at the last when it was at it's most watered down form he took it out of his mouth and suspiciously looked at his bottle and went back to drinking it but only a small amount. Do this with an evening walk and it won't be worth her time.

Cari - posted on 01/08/2009

Hi Abigail,

My son was the same way. I couln't let him cry it broke my heart. I got sneakier, he too didn't want water, so I started watering down his milk bottle little by little till finally i just added enough milk so that it just colored the water. It was funny because at the last when it was at it's most watered down form he took it out of his mouth and suspiciously looked at his bottle and went back to drinking it but only a small amount. Do this with an evening walk and it won't be worth her time.

User - posted on 01/08/2009

Andrea- I completely understand where you're coming from- I believe in a lot of the things Dr. Sear proports- but some I disagree with.  I guess my line of thinking is that if you teach them to eat, go potty, etc., we can also teach them to sleep through the night- and I think they can do it much sooner than a lot of people think.  Yet, I feel that whatever works best for each family is what they should do- not take any "authority's" advice too seriously.  As for me, not being a heavy sleeper, it's hard for me to fall back asleep after nursing in the middle of the night.  What should only be a 15 min. session at night turns into an hour or two of sleeplessness.  I know I am a much better mom with a full night's sleep.  However, by God's GRACE alone, I somehow manage when we have an off-night .

Rody - posted on 01/08/2009

The thing most doctors don't tell you is that sleeping for 5 hours is considered sleeping through the night. Once we found that out, it was a lot easier for us. We had one baby who would feed every 4 hours on the dot until around 15 months old, and another who could sleep for about 7 hours without waking. All kids are different, do what feels natural and loving.

Andrea - posted on 01/08/2009

Yea Sandra. ... we are both online right now and apparently having the same reaction to all of these posts. I agree... Waking at this age (and older) is perfectly normal, and there are negative physiological effects of "crying it out."



Here is link to Dr. Sears website (that I referred to in my previous post) http://www.askdrsears.com/default.asp... and here is a article re: effects of crying http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handou...

Sandra - posted on 01/08/2009

Oh, whoever said abandoning them to cry won't hurt them hasn't looked at the current research. Increased blood pressure, release of hormones that flood the brain, increased temperature, and that's not even touching the fact that your baby isn't learning to soothe, he's learning to GIVE UP.



I hope none of you are ever in a room alone, unable to voice a need for some reason or another, and your husband or mother or anyone else simply ignores that because you've been fed and shouldn't need them. How hurtful and painful that would be to a little baby that's barely been out of the womb as long as he was in it. Poor baby.

Sandra - posted on 01/08/2009

WHAT? Your doctor should not be giving this advice - neither the sleeping thru the night OR the dangerous cry it out theory. Most babies don't sleep thru the night until well after their first birthday - it's absolutely normal to still be waking at only 9 months. She may be waking at 12 months still to eat, and that's normal too!



Your doctor has very outdated and dangerous information. Please either find a new one or only use him for medical information, not parenting advice. Your baby is absolutely normal, obviously still needs that feeding, and should never be subjected to the dangers of being left alone to cry to sleep.



Good luck!

Andrea - posted on 01/08/2009

GET A NEW DOCTOR!!!!!



My son (now 3 1/2) nursed frequently all day and all night, for 2 1/2 years. All babies are different, and nine months is WAY too young to sleep thru the night. My son still wakes up in the night a couple times, but now cuddling does the trick, but I didn't ever push the need to stop nursing, or stop waking up. I always respond quickly when he cries... letting them "cry it out" it very old fashioned and cruel... supporting, caring and comforting them will not spoil them, it re-affirms that someone cares... especially a nine month old.



I can't believe how many posts on here are proponents of the "cry it out" method... I don't know anyone who believes that (and at risk of sounding redundant... especially for a nine month old!!!). Check out the writing of Dr. Sears (just google him) he has a lot very useful advice that is always in the spirit of comfort and support for the child.



I also find it strange that we know that babies need to learn everything -- i.e. we have to teach them everything from crawling, speaking, peeing, eating, writing, reading, etc... but we expect them to be able to sleep perfectly as soon as they are born (or shortly thereafter). Sleep itself comes naturally, but sleeping alone, in a strange place (i.e. not in the womb), in the dark, through the night, etc. are all things what we have to learn to do, they aren't things we should force on a baby.



I suggest not worrying about it, give your baby what he wants (and what he wants at this age is what he needs), and don't listen to anyone (including the so-called experts) who say you should force your baby to suffer.

Liz - posted on 01/07/2009

I think it may be because she is in the same room as you. My daughter was in the same room as her father and I until she was almost 2 years old. Ironically once she had her oen room she slept through the night, no prob. I know that is a little older than you one but I think they can sense your presence (even if they cant see you) which makes it harder. If there is any way she can share a room with a sibling or maybe even putting her in the dining area (just so she has her own space) that may be what the issue is.

Mary - posted on 01/07/2009

First let me say that there are doctors that would disagree with this approach. My daughter has always woken up to nurse at night and our first pediatrician told me the same thing yours told you. his reasoning was that "i shouldnt have to do that, and i should be able to sleep". i just smiled and said we were fine and now i have a doctor who views things a lot differently. I think if a baby lets you know he/she is hungry you better feed them! Their stomachs are really small and if they are growing at a good rate at your regular checkups (meaning they are not significantly overweight) i dont see how it makes sense to make them go hungry! and as for us getting more sleep- i dont buy into this idea that we are somehow "entitled" to put out baby in another room and sleep 8 hours every night! they are tiny, helpless, and totally dependent on us. If my baby needs me, i come running, and thats nothing to be ashamed of! before you know it your baby will be all grown up- just enjoy spoiling her at this age and go with your instincts! when you need support or start to second guess yourself you can always google it and find lots and lots of parents and professionals who do things the way you want to! Good-luck!

Krista - posted on 01/07/2009

We are going through the same thing right now. My son was sleeping through the night for a few months and then when he started teething he would wake up. It has been better this last week he has only woke up once. But we give him a bottle and he goes right back to sleep. My friend told me to try giving him water but he did'nt like that so we are slowly giving him less formula in his bottle to get him used to water just at night. It is hard to let them cry but I think that is the best way to stop it. But we are dealing with it too.

Abigail - posted on 01/07/2009

thank u all!!! I do feed her right before she goes to bed. She eats dinner with us(like mash potatoes or baby food)...then drinks her bottle and goes to bed. so i do know she is full. and when she cries at night she isn't really hard crying but more whining....but its consistantly for a few hrs...my oldest boys(3&2) only cried for like 20 minutes and they started sleeping through the night at 6 months but it just doesn't seem to work with her...maybe its because her bed is in the room with me...i have no idea...but i will take all your advice and see what works....she is a girl...she just has to have it her way i guess....lol

Jade - posted on 01/07/2009

Letting them cry is so hard. I don't know who suffered more... me or my husband??? My children on the other hand dealt with it well. It did work. The first few nights are hard

Brendapam - posted on 01/07/2009

beleave it or not tetting them cry wont hert them. it is hard though to let them cry and not running to see if they are ok. but if you know that thay were feed dont need to be changed and not sick just let them go. i had to do it with my son he is 2 now and sometimes i still have to do it. i do play music or some kind of soft noise in the background.

Francine - posted on 01/07/2009

Try some baby cereal or milupa for bedtime ... she still young and may need at least one bottle a night ...every baby is different ... I wouldnt sweat it for another month or so and then do what your dr. said ....I had to it with TWINS !!! Good luck

Alison - posted on 01/07/2009

Its not easy but it DOES work. I literally set a date and took a nap that day and warned my husband. It will tear up your nerves. I used the Ferber method....you let them cry for 5 min, go in, lay them down, walk out (dont talk to them or offer console), cry for 10 min, walk in, lay them back down, walk out (still no talking), cry for 15 min, walk in, lay them back down, etc. go longer and longer. Super Nanny uses this method even for older children! It works but get good rest and warn the rest of the family b/c its a long night! Hang in there...I agree with others that 9 months is definately old enough to make it through without a bottle. Its habit now and that baby is playing with you now :) Good luck!

Victoria - posted on 01/07/2009

Well it takes a lot of patience to go thru all that...I just made sure they were fed and usually a rice bottle before bed seemed to help... My boys still wake up every now and then thru the night. (they share rooms). My little girl (2 yrs) hasn't ever really woken up...
I think it all depends on the kid and the parents... I still do on occasion give in and give him a bottle at night when he crys, my baby is now 1.
Is it so bad? I don't think so...I don't listen to everything the doctors say, it's your life and your kids!

Melissa - posted on 01/07/2009

I am a big fan of the book On Becoming Baby Wise.  (I can't remember the author right now)  It explains how to establish healthy sleep patterns and a schedule for a happy baby.   Maybe I just have a really good baby, but he is generally happy and alert.  Hope you make it, I don't miss those late night feedings!

Heidi - posted on 01/07/2009

my little guy is 8 1/2 months we stoped night time feeding at 6 months it took a while cause he was sooo use to getting a bottle through the night but all i did when he would wake up was try to let him settle on his own but most times he wouldnt so i would rock him and he would go back to sleep and i think this became routine in like a week.

I always made sure that he got lots through the day and gave him cereal and a full bottle at bed time so i knew he was full,

Bridget - posted on 01/07/2009

i have two and my oldest who is 21 months still wakes up numerous times every night for juice and or snacks and our pediatricians says its ok that all kids are different. We did try different reccommened methods and all failed. good luck because it does get exhausting with two that don't sleep through the night!!

Barbara - posted on 01/07/2009

My kids are a little older now (18 and 15), but it seems to me that 9 months is a little young to be sleeping through the night consistently.  Each child is different and has different sleep needs.  If she's up during the night, but not crying the whole time, it could be that she's just not tired.  How often does she nap during the day?  How close is the last nap to bedtime?  Eliminating the last nap and keeping her awake longer during the day may prepare her for longer sleep at night.  What about a pacifier in place of a bottle?  Hope this helps!

Barbara - posted on 01/07/2009

My kids are a little older now (18 and 15), but it seems to me that 9 months is a little young to be sleeping through the night consistently.  Each child is different and has different sleep needs.  If she's up during the night, but not crying the whole time, it could be that she's just not tired.  How often does she nap during the day?  How close is the last nap to bedtime?  Eliminating the last nap and keeping her awake longer during the day may prepare her for longer sleep at night.  What about a pacifier in place of a bottle?  Hope this helps!

Kelly - posted on 01/07/2009

I always just let mine cry because if they r fed, changed, an not sick then beleive me they r fine, but if you keep giving in they catch onto that, good luck it worked for me now they r 19,14yrs old an r doing great..!

User - posted on 01/07/2009

Letting them "cry it out" does work, but it requires quite a bit of torture on our parts- mostly because we don't want to hear them cry.  Start with shorter periods of crying- like 5 or 10 min. and slowly increase that time.   Check on her, pat her, let her know you're there, but don't give her a bottle.  She's old enough to make it through the night- she's just in the habit of getting up and wanting one.  I've always heard it takes 3 days to establish a new habit.

My other suggestion would be to make sure the rest of the day is predictable for her.  If she knows when to expect naptime, playtime, meals, etc, it'll help her get on a better night pattern as well.

Hang in there!  This too shall pass :)

Daniella - posted on 01/07/2009

do you think she may just have a speedy metabolism?  where does she fall on the growth chart for her age?  how long has 2x a night been her habit?

Daniella - posted on 01/07/2009

do you think she may just have a speedy metabolism?  where does she fall on the growth chart for her age?  how long has 2x a night been her habit?

Daniella - posted on 01/07/2009

do you think she may just have a speedy metabolism?  where does she fall on the growth chart for her age?  how long has 2x a night been her habit?

Toni - posted on 01/07/2009

That was when my doctor said we needed to stop the night time feedings as well. It will work sooner or later. You have to just let her cry herself back to sleep.. Although my son is 2 now and he is waking up in the middle of the night, so I don't know it it ever ends! ;) Good luck!