Sleep Training- How to do It

Janine - posted on 11/28/2008 ( 18 moms have responded )

14

6

1

Just wondering what age is best for sleep training(my daughter is 10 weeks old) and what is the best way. I'm not sure I could take teh crying it out method, and neither could my neighbors. Is it a good way? Any suggestions? I know, it's a taboo subject but I'm curious to see what has worked for others.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Sandra - posted on 11/29/2008

185

4

26

STOP!!!!!!!!! I haven't read any of the posts, but PLEASE DEAR LORD PLEASE don't "train" your 10 week old - or any week old - baby to sleep!



Sleep is a 100% natural normal occurence - your baby will need no help learning how to do it. Never ever do the CIO - that has serious proven physical and psychological effects on a baby, and it absolutely doesn't teach them to self-soothe, it teaches them that no one cares, no one will be coming, so they GIVE UP.



Wait. You are now a mother. Your baby may not naturally sleep through the night for a year or more. You are a parent 24/7 - if your baby needs love at midnight, then that is your job to do it. Co-sleep - you will both get more sleep that way. Check out Dr. Sears site for information on the natural sleep cycles of an infant.



Just never let that baby alone in a room crying for love. That's the saddest thing to do, and your baby will not "train" from it.



Good luck, congratulations on that baby, and welcome to motherhood!

Mandy - posted on 11/29/2008

4

8

0

We did sleep training from birth, and followed Babywise. It is a great parenting method and has lots of support groups if you're interested. By 10 weeks, my son was sleeping 9-10hrs at night without eating and taking 3 two hour naps during the day.



I do not think it's too young to CIO. We did that at 9 wks, The crying only lasts for a few days, then you have a baby that sleeps by himself, is well rested, and not cranky. I've never had to sit up with him at night and he always takes his naps. It was well worth a couple of days of crying. Most families who do not CIO have at least 2 yrs of fussy babies, bad naps, and getting up at night. You can choose which is best for you.

Janine - posted on 11/29/2008

11

48

0

When I would put my kids to bed I would leave the tv or radio on the same volume I had it one when they were awake. this way when they did go to sleep and were older any noise didn't bother them, I can go into my kids rooms at night and talk to my husband in my normal talking voice and they don't wake up. We can have people in and talk and carry on and the kids don't even wake up

Cheryl - posted on 11/28/2008

80

0

6

at 10 weeks ur little bubs is a bit young to let cry..just try to put her down when she is almost asleep...her eyes can be closed but she wont be in deep sleep. just aslong as u dont rock her completely to sleep she will soon pick up on how to settle herself.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

18 Comments

View replies by

Janine - posted on 11/29/2008

11

48

0

You know I've never been a fan of self-help books. go with your gut. read your babies sings and moods these will tell you more than any book. What ever you do, NOT NOT LAY DOWN with your child. I did and it took us almost 4 years to break the habit and sometime we'll wake up with one or both kids in bed with us.

Barbara - posted on 11/29/2008

537

19

42

Well, the couple who wrote the book Babywise developed their ideas while raising two girls. Those girls grew up into women who won't have ANYTHING to do with their parents now. What does that tell you?

Mandy - posted on 11/29/2008

4

8

0

PLEASE read Babywise before believing the untrue information promoted by some of the websites recommended by previous posts. Babywise is the ONLY sleep book that tells you NOT to let your newborn go more than 5hrs without eating at night the first month. Even LLL books do not tell you that. I know because I actually read 5 or 6 different books from different parenting styles.



I know so many moms that have used Babywise with positive results. They have HEALTHY normal children that love them and are NOT neglected. Sorry for the fervent reply, but I hate that people denegrade this book series without even reading or applying it themselves.



A lady from my birth class was doing that when we went back for a visit with our newborns. My 8 wk old was sleeping through the night and weighed 12 lbs, while her 4 month old was dehydrated, constantly snacking, underweight, and still hadn't slept more than 2 hrs in a row at night. So I was the one being neglectful by using Babywise...I don't think so...



If something is not for you, just say so and be done with it, but no need to say bad things about methods you yourself have not tried or even studied.

Rebecca - posted on 11/29/2008

12

9

1

Playing soft music very quietly for the first 20-30 minutes of "down" time is something I STILL do, and babywise suggests as well. It DOES soothe the soul...doesn't it soothe yours?

Rebecca - posted on 11/29/2008

12

9

1

I just have to reply, that BEFORE I began putting the babywise ideas into practice, I did read www.ezzo.info. If you more carefully read babywise, they absolutley DO NOT encourage you to let your child cry indefinitely! (Or CIO). Like Jill mentioned, the idea is to let them cry a FEW MOMENTS, then go in, comfort, soothe, but not pick up. Let them know you are there! I researched many ideas before my babies were born, and went into it all thinking if it didn't work for us, I would try something else. But it worked so well! But, there are strong opinions on all sides, and in the end, it's what makes mothering easiest for you and your child! Don't give up, keep trying until you find what works for your family. Ngaire, my heart goes out to you! You sound sleep deprived! Find something that sounds logical to you, and give it 100% for a few weeks! Decide what your goal is, then just work towards it. You AND your son CAN do it!

Sandra - posted on 11/29/2008

185

4

26

I meant to add that before you read about Ferber, check out http://www.ezzo.info. That book promotes practices that the AAP, doctors, and other experts call borderline neglect. Please don't do that to your baby. He is young, soon he will no longer need you to love him to sleep, and this time will be sorely missed.

Ngaire - posted on 11/29/2008

1

24

0

Hi, im also having problems getting my son to sleep and its gotten even worse since my partner went interstate to work. Taj is almost 15 mnths old and did start sleeping through the night but now that my partner has gone it can take me up to 2 hrs to get him off to sleep then he wakes again a few hrs later and will not go back down untill 2 sometimes 3 am. .Taj is then getting up early in the morning and some times doesnt go down for a nap through the day. Ive tryed everything from the controled crying to just letting him sleep when he gets tired. Taj is also sleeping in my bed still which is something im also having major problems with.I wanted to have him sleeping in his cot long before now. If anybody can help it would be fantastic.Its been a real struggle as im on my own and im 24 weeks pregnant.

Rebecca - posted on 11/28/2008

12

9

1

I agree with Kara! We used babywise techniques with BOTH my girls, and I can't say enough good about it. My first daughter slept 8 hours through the night at 8 weeks old. My second had other issues, including milk allergy (even in my breastmilk!) that hindered her, but I think that is also a personality issue...my oldest is a heavier sleeper than my youngest in general.

Kara - posted on 11/28/2008

17

18

1

Baby Wise is a great book to read when working towards getting your baby on a sleep schedule. At 10 weeks, she is still really little and a schedule is next to impossible to implement until she is a few more weeks along. I know with my children, we would feed them their "last feeding" and put them in their crib immediately. If needed, I would pat them to help settle them and hold the pacifier in if that was necessary too. I would exit quietly after that. If they began to cry, I would do a repeat of the patting and pacifier holding. We always let them sleep as long as they would through the night, never waking them to feed after about 2 weeks of age, as long as their weight checks were fine. Getting them to sleep through the night was our main objective! It is really important that your baby learn that her bed is safe and that sleeping is good. Try to put her down in her bed at nap and bedtime awake, as much as possible. Crying a bit is not going to hurt her. She will not feel unloved or forgotten about. Most importantly, the earlier you help her to become comfortable with sleeping and her bed, the easier it will be later on. 3-1/2 to 4 months is a really good age to establish a firm schedule, but now is also a good time to start working towards that schedule. Good Luck! Don't stress too much, she will catch on!

Jill - posted on 11/28/2008

18

7

2

I believe some kids are sleepers and some need to be shown how to put themselves to sleep. I read a really good book when my son was 9 weeks old called Sleep Right Sleep Tight. It assists you in helping to guide your child to put themselves to sleep. There are a few other posts on Circle of Moms about the same thing and another lady suggests a different book which she says is brilliant. Sleep Right Sleep Tight is about 'controlled crying', a more modern version (I can't remember for 0-6 mths but after 6 mths it's cry for 2 minutes go in, resettle, definitely leave in cot just soothe with hands, say patting etc then leave again when their body is relaxed, then if they cry again let them go 4 minutes and repeat). The longest my son cried for was about 3 1/2 minutes. It also helps you read tired signs which it says many people don't realise their child is tired until they are overtired and you know yourself what it's like trying to get to sleep when you are overtired. Good luck and you may want to look at other similar questions on Circle of Moms to locate the name of that book as the one I have recommended is written by two Australian Mums and I'm thinking you may be in the US.

Barbara - posted on 11/28/2008

537

19

42

We try not to "train" our son to do anything and that always seems to work out for us. Really. Every time that I've made any attempt to impose something upon him he rebels, and when I do what is easiest (ie. picking him up when he cries, co sleeping, babywearing, etc.) he is happy and I am happy and the world is a wonderful place. Babies do eventually learn not to cry if you let them cry it out, but that's not necessarily a good thing for their mental state. They are also learning that they can't count on anyone to come to their aid when they need it.
If you get a chance, take a look at the book "The Continuum Concept" by Jean Liedloff. It has really eased my mind in regards to how to raise a happy and emotionally stable infant.

Kristy - posted on 11/28/2008

10

29

0

An option is the fetal heartbeat teddy bear - we used it with both my kids and it worked great. I just put it in the far corner of the crib and they both started sleeping longer after a couple days. It took about 3 weeks before they began sleeping all night but we never had any problems after that.

Pily Herrera - posted on 11/28/2008

15

17

0

May I ask, Did your pediatrician told you to train your baby to sleep though the night?. Because I've read of how important is that your new born sleeps every two hours until they are 4 months. My baby is 14 months now but I didn't have to train her to sleep though the night she did it by herself when she was 5 months, because she didn't need my breast during the night anymore.

Donna - posted on 11/28/2008

4

0

2

I always played music when I put them to bed, then they heard it and were comforted instead of quietness and everyone trying to tiptoe and not make a sound. As they got older, they go used to going to bed, noisy or not and sleeping. Come in and check on them, but don't pick them up. The crying will stop and they will drift off to sleep. Longer and longer time between checking on them. At ten weeks old she is still little, and usually you have the crying problem closer to two years old.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms