Sleepless Nights

Jerosha - posted on 11/05/2010

I hear you .... Elei was very very similar. When she was 3 1/2 years old we discovered she does not produce the hormone that makes you and I get tired hence not being able to sleep for longer than a couple of hours in a 24hour period ... we now give her a chemical form ... however, prior to this being discovered tired a number of things and I know that others will have already told you these but this is what I found helpfull (and I do truely feel your pain it is amazing how little sleep a monther can survive on!)
1) Routine ... Even if you beleive that you have a routine write it down and follow it percisly talk your child through each step and explain the importance of the next step ie " Ok, now we are going to have a bath this will help us to calm down before we go to bed were our musels will get to rest so that we can have fun tommorrow running and jumping and playing".
2) dont attempt to have a daytime nap, purely encourage "quite time" ie a relaxing dvd or music whilst you discuss your plans for tommorrow and the future do not make this stimulating he does need to allow his brian and body this time to rest allow about 45mins.
3) consider his diet ... keep a food journal and record everything in detail - we discovered with this that if Elei has orange and passionfruit juice with her dinner she willnot rest for more than 2.5 hours that night!
4) set guidelines ie ok everymorning you are going to wake up at 4am well mummy will come and get you but mummy still needs to sleep so if you come and sleep with mummy you must be quite you dont like it if mummy gets angry so mummy has to have a good sleep and if daddy doesnt sleep properly he cannt go to work and earn us $'s for your toys.
5) keep a sleep diary and after a month take it to your doctor / ped to discuss. Once they see how much you are trying they may be able to suggest some other ways to help.
We spent thousands on different "specialist" who would come into our home to assist and on renovating her room to her likes etc and none of it helped. Know that it wont last forever as my mother said to me once .... "you lie awake each night now wishing she would sleep when she is 18 etc you will lie awake waiting for her to come home and hopeing she is safe" every stage is just that a stage and although at 2am in the morning when you have had very little sleep you feel very lonely and depressed and like noone else has ever been through what you are going throung remember it will oneday pass just as childbirth did and you will oneday have a loving and happy child who does sleep. I hope that my words have helped even if it is only in the knowledge that there are others there that have experienced the same pain and that it does come to an end ........... EVENTUALLY. Best of luck :-)

Louise - posted on 11/05/2010

You need to establish a routine for him to follow and stick to it no matter what until his sleep pattern has been sorted out. This is not easy and will probably mean very little sleep for a couple of nights so get some help on board to have your child in the day so you can get your head down. First of all choose a bed time and half an hour before you bath him quietly no fuss no hyper play just quiet games like pouring things in and out of pots. Dry him and then put him to bed awake. Let him moan for 10 minutes and then go in tell him it is night night time now and lye him down. Leave the room after 15 minutes if he is still screaming go back in and lye him down no talking no eye contact and leave the room. He is perfectly safe and will come to no harm. When he wakes in the night do the same again check that there is nothing wrong like a dirty nappy or anything and then leave the room no eye contact and no verbal. Putting a child into your bed is a short term fix if you want him to sleep in his own bed then you have to teach him to and not place him in with you. Friends of mine put there child in there bed when he was two and he is still there now at 6 and is joined by his brother. It is a very hard habit to break. As for sleep a two year old does not need a lot of sleep during the day, but again stick to a routine. I put my two year old down at 1pm and get her up again at 2.30pm and she has a bath at 8pm and is in bed asleep before 8.30pm. It is all down to routine she knows what is expected of her and she is a very good sleeper. Establishing a routine is hard but worth the effort as your child will sleep much better and so will you. Good luck

Ralitsa - posted on 11/04/2010

Not having a normal sleep is really very difficult! My daughter will occasionally keep us awake for a night or two and the next day will be slowly just dragging along afterward... I cannot imagine even how painful it is to have the not sleeping experience as a routine!!!

In terms of what can be done - there are many approaches to it and as every child is different, different things will work... I will say - explore the possibilities but trust your gut as well... You know best what is tolerable and helpful for you and your child! That said, I can share my experience and what comes to my mind:

1. Talk to your child - talk to him a lot, explain him what you want, why is it important to sleep, etc, etc. He is old enough to really understand. Even if he does not seem to listen, he sure do get some of what you say in and that is comforting. Get him story book with bedtime stories.

2. Make his bed a desirable place to be! Put there something he would pick himself and let that be a constantly present object for him through the night.

3. Try to be as consistent as possible - help him understand that the bed is actually the place to have your sleep.

4. Try staying with him and do a routine -read a story for him, sing a song, hold his hand for five minutes and then leave. Let him know in advance that this is what is going to happen - make everything very predictable, so he can develop a habit down the road. When he cries after you leave come back some time later and do some comforting and reassuring - tell him you are sleeping too, tell him you love him etc. In my opinion - don't get him out of the room or the bed, don't play with him or entertain him - if he needs you to be there - stay for sometime, but do not engage in active interaction with him!

4. You might think of what makes him stay awake - is it a physical discomfort, is it anxiety or fear, is it something else and try to address the cause ..

5. Don't get into despair - there is certainly a way to get him to sleep and you will eventually find it!

Be creative and remember that children do outgrow the things they do, so that not sleeping thing too, shall pass, even if it feels like it will be forever!



AND 6. Talk to his pediatrician and see if he has any suggestions for you?



Good luck and I hope you get some good night sleep soon!



P.S. Two hours daytime sleep is plenty!!!