smacking in public

Rosalie - posted on 08/26/2009 ( 102 moms have responded )

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I was in a department store today when a mother walloped her daughter right in front of me, just because her daughter had dropped some chips in the pram.
I was so shocked and upset be the incident, and the daughter was obviously very upset by it.
I feel guilty for not saying something to the mother, or for somehow sticking up for the daughter who was not only hurt and upset, but embarrassed it had happened in public.
What is the right thing to do in such a situation ?
Have I the right to say something to the mother, who clearly can't control her temper ?
What would you have done ?

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Julie - posted on 08/27/2009

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I wouldn't have confronted the lady either I just try to lead by example. I have been near people who seem to have a real problem with their kids , then my daughter thinks she can act up. So I just start walking away and say that she can live at the store if she wants to behave that way ( I stay in close range of coarse, but I hide where she cant see me but I can see her, if it even comes to that ) and she corrects the behavior, usually before I even get 2 steps away :) Or I will tell her I will put back whatever it is that we have in the cart that she wants the most. I notice other moms noticing how I handle the situation and I am proud that I can be an example of a better way to handle tantrums, especially in public

Rebecca - posted on 08/29/2009

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There is a big difference between corporal discipline and abuse. You should step in when it is an abuse situation.... closed fist punches, yanking on hair, marks left on kids, etc. But most of the time it is a discipline issue and it really isn't your business.
My children receive swats. We do not do them in public because it is embarrassing for them. Swats are reserved for repeat offenses, big offenses and are talked about before and after so they know what the swats are for. A thunk in the back of the head might happen in the store but usually all that has to be said is "do we need to go home to take care of this?" While it may offend you to see a child be disciplined in public you have to remember you are not the parent and if it isn't abuse then it isn't your business.

[deleted account]

I have smacked my daughter in public but I warn my daughter first so she knows that the consequence is coming for the actions that she is doing. As previous Posters have said....you don't know the whole situation so not saying anything was good. Now if they were completely beating up on the child then I would say something to security or a store employee but I would never interject myself into that situation as much as I would want too. May cause more harm then anything and plus security/employees know the store rules on how to handle certain situations.

Ann Marie - posted on 08/29/2009

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we don't spank our children (and i have 4 boys) but I am not opposed to it. You have to figure out what works for your child and my kids respond better to other forms of punishment. But, I do think it is the parents choice and unless it was abuse you should satay out of it. What if the situation was reversed say her child was out of control misbehaving or yelling through the store,and the parent does nothing (which I'm sure you have all seen) does that give you the right to walk up and discipline someone else child?

Angela - posted on 08/28/2009

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I probably would ave said something. I cannot stand people that are so quick to dispense pain on children. I have a beautiful daughter she is 13 years old and I have never had to hit her for anything.

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Lisa - posted on 12/22/2011

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It doesn't take much to seriously injure your child with hitting them in the face or head... I see it all the time in my line of work. If you are going to spank, please use the bottom. Discipline doesn't need to hurt to be effective.



If I see it... I will definately say something and report it.

Megan - posted on 09/04/2009

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Smacking the bottom should be reserved for getting the child's attention like when they run out in a parking lot, because that is dangerous! You have to act at that moment and saying stop isn't going to help if they get hit by a car. Even when you think you have a good hold on their hand, kids can wiggle free if they really want to reach something. I would rather have my child alive and smarting from a firm swat on the bottom then worrying about whether I embarrass them in public. Sorry but that is how I feel. They will recover from being embarrassed because they are alive.

Megan - posted on 09/04/2009

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I totally agree, actions do need to be dealt with at the time the child did something wrong and too many people think discipline is wrong but then we would have tons of out of control children running around. There are extremes on both sides, parents who discipline too much and those who never do and then other people have to deal with their bratty kids because of it.

Megan - posted on 09/04/2009

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I would have to agree that that is extreme behavior for such a minor offense. Also, most everyday things are the minor offense. I have three boys and my middle one is a runner and one day it was super hot and and we were walking through a parking lot and my hand was sweaty, his was and I was trying to keep all three very close to me and he got loose and started running for our car! I yelled stop but he didn't listen and when I caught up with him I spanked him in order to scare him enough about the serious danger he was in and because I was terrified that he was going to get hit by a car. So was I wrong to spank him? I think in one of those situations a sweet little voice isn't going to work. He was shocked by my reaction but he he did learn and if someone woman came up and complained about my behavior in that situation I think I would have told her off and said," At least my son is still alive!" A few spankings in a kids lifetime isn't going to kill them or warp their little egos. Now how you do it does matter but a spank to get their attention is not going to damage them. I do not believe in absolute no spanking and I do not believe in excessive spanking, it depends greatly on whether the severity of the action like if their life is in danger and they got away from their parent. Kids do that sometimes and the parent can not always be blamed. Also, You have to explain to the child why you spanked them and that you do love them, then hug them and say that you were very afraid for them.

Meg

Hope - posted on 09/03/2009

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Quoting Tina:



Quoting Melissa:

well im a smacker and i do smack in public I realy think that its not any one elses business how a mother raises her children, provided they are not abusing them of course. you dont know the full situation just from seeing them for 5 seconds at a shopping centre so you really cant judge. i saw an aboriginal lady at the shops in the parents change room the other day she had alot of children about 5 of them i think and they were horrible she told them to get out of the play room so they could eave they wouldnt she had to hold her hand up as if she was going to smack them to get them to do something, saw her pull one out roughly by the arm. At first i judged but then i realised hey i dont know what she goes through every day with those kids especially having that many. i have no rights to place judgement on her and if I was in her position i would probably do the same thing if not worse. My fiance doesnt like me smacking in public he doesnt like me making a scene but i simply tell him i will do what i want til you are the stay at home parent keep out of it. and Hes starting to learn to respect that






All I can say is WOW. He learned to respect that???? I don't know if the word respect is the correct one to use. Maybe scared is better. I dont care what type of day an adult has or how many kids one has no-one has the right to go beyond a simple smack on the butt. To pull ones childs arm even roughly do you know what you can do to that child? Dislocate, break, bruise...How would you like it if your fiance hit you just because he may not have liked the way you were acting? Everyone has their right to their own opinion and you defently have yours. I just think that when your starting to get physical (such as pulling ones arm roughly) it is not just discipline, it went beyond that.





I have to agree with Tina on that one. You should "NEVER EVER" pull on a childs arm roughly, you could easily break their arm. And I was kinda put off when Melissa said something about her seeing the lady pull on her kids arm and she would do  the same thing if not worse? WTF? what do you mean by worse? And telling her man to butt out cause he's not at home with the kids..its his kids too if he doesn't like the smacking technique he has a right to say something about that your suppose to work as a team.

Hope - posted on 09/03/2009

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Usually when my child is having a tantrum I remove her from the situation and I will try different things to calm her down. Once she is calm I will try and continue to shopping.

Shells - posted on 09/02/2009

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Hi. Its a really controversial topic. However I would ask the mum if she needs any help. If its clear that shes highly stressed out & over reacts I would observe just in case the child is at risk & if she is I would inform someone. I agree that its difficult to make immediate judgments & can be upsetting to others. but Im not sure what you mean by wallop. I raised my kiddies with a slap on the butt (now adults) when they were toddlers. After that it was loss of privileges. I remember a time when it was guaranteed that my son would act up when the lollie aisle was handy while you were at the check out (I was a single mum) and it was hard to carry on with a screamer. I got many sympathetic looks but these days its different they want you to shut the child up.

Wendy - posted on 09/01/2009

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Also, thank you Holly Fry. Yes you can not be your childrens' friends, you have to be a parent. True words.

Wendy - posted on 09/01/2009

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I was spanked as a child and to this day have never been hurt by it. When my 13 year old was 4 my husband had the police called on him in the parking lot of a store. He was working on his truck that was broke down and had our 4 and 2 year old in the truck. With my husband up to his elbows in grease my 4 year old was picking on her brother and making him cry. After repeated efforts of asking her to stop he spanked her. A couple parked next to him went inside the store to call the police. They never offered to help my husband who was alone with the kids and trying to get the truck on the road again. Of course the police found nothing wrong with the dicipline method and told my daughter to behave and stop picking on her brother. My husband and I now realize because of that incident we never again felt that there was a proper way to dicipline our children and we lost the confidence we had as parents because of some stranger who couldn't mind there own business. There is a difference between spanking and beating. Now everywhere you look there are children running wild. I recently had a police officer tell my child that even at 13 he would watch me spank her. Spanking is not against the law, beating is!

Sherri - posted on 09/01/2009

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THANK YOU LATRISHA!! Finally, someone who makes sense! I absolutely believe that it is absurd to teach a child to act appropriately by using inappropriate measures like hitting, swatting or any other violent means. Some people just don't get it. You can't change anger with anger, or violence with violence. Someone needs to be calm and in control. Sadly, many adults can't handle their own behavior so how can they be expected to handle a child's.

Sherri - posted on 09/01/2009

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Quoting latrisha:

Here it is parents, if your child is so out of control you feel the only way to make them listen is to smack them. Then you have already lost the control over the situation! In all honesty it is our responsibility to always remain calm in a situation. If you are smacking them in public for acting wild, how different are you really?? WE are the role models for our children we teach them to NOT hit by hitting them? We teach them to NOT scream by yelling at them. We are teaching them to deal with their frustrations by hitting someone else. If they dont do what you want them to do smack em right? Take a parenting class! Like we as parents have never had a bad day. So if you had a bad day and we grumpy and acting like a jerk should someone smack you? Smacking your child in public embarasses them and makes them have a lack of self confidence. I have 5 children my oldest has ADHD and Asperger's talk about having to have a lot of self control. For the mom with the son that has ADHD, if he acts up everytime you go to the store it is because the activity level their makes him escalate. We have our son listen to his MP3 or his DS with headphones on, he is 13 now and has been working for years and going to the store with him is much easier and usually have no problems. As a mother who has lost a son, I know how quickly it goes by and how fast it can all be taken from you. I promise you if you ever lose a child you will never think, I wish I would have smacked them more so they would have listened better! And if your child is misbehaving in the store, walk out and leave the store! Leave your groceries in the cart, you will send a much clearer message to them that way!

Tina - posted on 09/01/2009

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Quoting Melissa:

well im a smacker and i do smack in public I realy think that its not any one elses business how a mother raises her children, provided they are not abusing them of course. you dont know the full situation just from seeing them for 5 seconds at a shopping centre so you really cant judge. i saw an aboriginal lady at the shops in the parents change room the other day she had alot of children about 5 of them i think and they were horrible she told them to get out of the play room so they could eave they wouldnt she had to hold her hand up as if she was going to smack them to get them to do something, saw her pull one out roughly by the arm. At first i judged but then i realised hey i dont know what she goes through every day with those kids especially having that many. i have no rights to place judgement on her and if I was in her position i would probably do the same thing if not worse. My fiance doesnt like me smacking in public he doesnt like me making a scene but i simply tell him i will do what i want til you are the stay at home parent keep out of it. and Hes starting to learn to respect that



All I can say is WOW. He learned to respect that???? I don't know if the word respect is the correct one to use. Maybe scared is better. I dont care what type of day an adult has or how many kids one has no-one has the right to go beyond a simple smack on the butt. To pull ones childs arm even roughly do you know what you can do to that child? Dislocate, break, bruise...How would you like it if your fiance hit you just because he may not have liked the way you were acting? Everyone has their right to their own opinion and you defently have yours. I just think that when your starting to get physical (such as pulling ones arm roughly) it is not just discipline, it went beyond that.

Latrisha - posted on 09/01/2009

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Here it is parents, if your child is so out of control you feel the only way to make them listen is to smack them. Then you have already lost the control over the situation! In all honesty it is our responsibility to always remain calm in a situation. If you are smacking them in public for acting wild, how different are you really?? WE are the role models for our children we teach them to NOT hit by hitting them? We teach them to NOT scream by yelling at them. We are teaching them to deal with their frustrations by hitting someone else. If they dont do what you want them to do smack em right? Take a parenting class! Like we as parents have never had a bad day. So if you had a bad day and we grumpy and acting like a jerk should someone smack you? Smacking your child in public embarasses them and makes them have a lack of self confidence. I have 5 children my oldest has ADHD and Asperger's talk about having to have a lot of self control. For the mom with the son that has ADHD, if he acts up everytime you go to the store it is because the activity level their makes him escalate. We have our son listen to his MP3 or his DS with headphones on, he is 13 now and has been working for years and going to the store with him is much easier and usually have no problems. As a mother who has lost a son, I know how quickly it goes by and how fast it can all be taken from you. I promise you if you ever lose a child you will never think, I wish I would have smacked them more so they would have listened better! And if your child is misbehaving in the store, walk out and leave the store! Leave your groceries in the cart, you will send a much clearer message to them that way!

Hope - posted on 09/01/2009

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I was told its illegal to smack your child or even raise your voice in public. Now whether that is true or not. Its what I was told. I got smacked on the bottom in public if I got out of hand.

Tina - posted on 09/01/2009

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I work in a restraunt and I see these things all the time. I hate it. I think it depends of the situation and how it goes on with what to do. I have said something to a parent before. You can tell in the parents eyes if they are hitting out of anger or it is just a swat. When you can see the anger in the moms eyes and shes smaking (more than just once) I step up and say something. But you have to be careful for the childs sake. You don't want the parent turing around and punishing the child because you did say something.

Melissa - posted on 09/01/2009

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I came from an abusive home but, I would spank my kids in public if necessary. If it is an issue of safety I would spank. Secondly, by you stepping in you are infering that you know more about the situation than you really do. If you saw her repeatedly smack her child that is one thing but, we all know that being a mom is hard and YOU ARE LIEING if you say that you have not EVER lost your temper with your child....How dare you.

Michelle - posted on 09/01/2009

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I probably would of said something like wow that was the wrong way to handle that out loud and would of turned it around on the mother who apparently does not know right from wrong. This person should understand that everyone makes mistakes its the way we handle them that defines us. Not a good situation to be in. I have learned a long time ago to be a little bit more forth coming to people. I no longer keep my mouth shut. There are a lot of bad people out there and if they realize we are paying attention maybe it will make them think twice.
Michelle

Holly - posted on 08/31/2009

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I feel that in this subject i have to say something...My Father was a very abusive man. Physically and mentally. He used to beat the the living hell out of myself and my mother, but NEVER my sister (older). To this day i still do not like, respect or love him. He is a vile, vicious drunk and a drug addict.



On the other hand my mother would smack my butt if i was really misbehaving. I LOVE my mum. She is the person i respect the most in my world. Through her i came to understand the wrongs and rights in my behaviour. I would get warnings and if i did not heed those warnings i would get a smack.



I now raise my children in the same manner as my mother did. I of all people know what REAL abuse is. With some children you can reason with them, others will ignore you till the end. I will not have my children abused. I will also not be a mother of future young adults that have no respect for others and their property. There are too many children and many adults that do not know the meaning of manners anymore. I am not my childrens friend...I am their mother.

User - posted on 08/31/2009

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Follow your instinct. I would perhaps feel a bit sheepish about saying something trivial to a stranger, but if you feel strongly enough about what had happened perhaps speaking up is a good thing. You don't have to engage in an argument if the other mom shouts at you. You can stay calm, in control, yet assertive. Be the voice her child can't be.

Mary - posted on 08/31/2009

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I agree with what a few moms said.It is nobodys business how you discipline your child or children. My daughter who are 19, 23, & 26 received spankings when they were little and they have grown up just fine. Two of them have a child and they give them spankings when they act up. They do the time out but after awile that doesn't work. they also might get a spanking from their grandma(me). It doesnt hurt them as much as it does me. Remember it is a spanking not a beating!!!

Jennifer - posted on 08/31/2009

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I would have to agree with Melissa below.... as parents, WE are the only ones who know what we go through with our children on a daily basis. As mothers, I think we owe each other a little bit of respect on this issue... it's bad enough people who aren't parents critcize those who are on the way they discipline their children, we shouldn't be doing it to each other. And, speaking as a mom who does smack here and there, although not in the head, I think the whole issue has been blown out of proportion- we have become a society that is afraid to discipline our children, and as a direct result of that there are many parents who don't discipline their children AT ALL. There are way too many rude, obnoxious, over-indulged children running around this country.I see it in schools, I see it in the parks, and when I meet the parents it all makes sense.

Sheila - posted on 08/31/2009

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Very touchy subject!! But who are we to judge other parents on how they raise or discipline their children just because its not something we would do to our child doesnt mean it makes it wrong for someone else, as long as there is not abuse going on!! Why is your way the right way or my way the right way? Its not, we need to do what works for us or our children, a simple spank on the bum might work for some as a timeout might work for someone else, all children are different and need to be diciplined in a way that works for both the parent and the child and just because some do not believe in spankings doesnt mean it makes it wrong. Anyway if I saw someone hitting a child in public it would depend on the situation. But really it is none of our business on how someone else diciplines their child as long as that child is not being abused!!

Amanda - posted on 08/31/2009

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There's WAY too many responses for me to have nearly enough time to read them all before replying, so here's my opinion - take it, leave it, hate me or not. I do not abuse my child nor would I ever so don't think me cruel.
If my child is acting up after several stern warnings then YES I will spank his bottom or spank/tap/hit his hand depending on the situation and what he was doing. Already he's had his hand smacked a few times for grabbing things he KNOWS he's not supposed to mess with. My belief is that the line between discipline and abuse is a very THICK line. If someone ever calls the cops on me, I'll tell them point blank "I refuse to raise a hellion. It's people like you who do not discipline your children that has lead to our jails being filled and everyone living in fear". Spare the rod, spoil the child. I was raised in a home that disciplined with spankings until they were no longer effective (when I was about 12 was the stopping point for me). I am thankful that my parents were not afraid to discipline me. That's what helped shape me into the responsible adult I am today.
So there's my opinion. As far as other mothers in stores - as I said before there is a THICK line between discipline and abuse. I've never seen anyone abuse their child in public but if I did, sure I'd go to the security guard or speak to the woman myself. I have seen parents who had to discipline their children and I'm glad to see it. TOO many children are allowed to run around (and into me and other shoppers) and destroy the store just because mom or dad are too afraid to do anything in public. I'd rather see more parents getting onto their kids in public. I think it would help straighten out our crazy society.

Mindysue - posted on 08/31/2009

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If it really was a "smack" and not a beating... I would just mind my own business. My kids act up in public, and my right hand is my attitude adjuster. Sure it sounds like this mom in this situation overreacted to her child spilling chips... but nevertheless we all have the right to discipline as we see fit... with the exception of actual abuse, and then we should not turn our heads.

Melissa - posted on 08/31/2009

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as hard as it is to see, sometimes saying anything could have made it worse for the little girl. I can say i hve disaplined my girls sometimes not in the right way in public, but it is a double edge sword. one day both my girls were acting up so i gave them each a time-out and made them sit on the floor. They were crying and a lady came up to me and asked why was i being so mean to make them sit on the floor. I turned and said would you like to see me spank them or have a time out and calm themselves down? she gave me a dirty look and walked away. it sound like that mom you saw was probably out of line,but there realy isn't anything you could have done, maybe other than getting a store manager and telling them. just try to think postively for the little girl.

Michelle - posted on 08/30/2009

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I think it should only be an issue if the parent is clearly crossing a line. Slapping the face or really wailing on the kid. I have 3 kids (7, 5, and 4) and when we are in public they can get out of hand. I have smacked their butts in public before. I don't smack them hard but they are pretty embarassed because everyone can see.



I am sorry but I would rather smack my child and keep them from running off and misbehaving then to have them keep running off and someone taking them.

Maria - posted on 08/30/2009

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well either way in great britain its unacceptable to smack or in any way shape or form handle a child like that i would of personally confronted her and asked was there any need for that and report it but think of it this was " what goes around comes around" so maybe one day she will get a smack for something as pathetic as that hope this is some kind of support for you xx

Heather - posted on 08/30/2009

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A parent's job is to teach their children proper behavior for the good of the general public and for the child. A small pain and embarrassment is representative of the great pain and embarrassment that poor behavior produces. Children have to learn to avoid pain and embarrassment in small doses. I am not sure what all happened that led up to the smack. I tend to hold off spanking until I have had everything else fail. It is seldom that I use corpral punishment, because it leaves me feeling as bad as it does the child. I would just have to know more about this situation to be sure of my answer. As for public v/s private, I think that if a child is mis-behaving in public, then he/she should be corrected in public. If you wait until you get into privacy, all the effect is gone. Public embarrassment is a great deterrent to public mis-behavior. With children, as well as adults, the punishment should fit the crime. Spilled potato chips is no federal offense!

Marian - posted on 08/30/2009

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I don't believe a child should be slapped across the face at any time. The Bible says if you spare the rod you spoil the child. I do believe in spankings but only on the bottom and only when the punishment fits the crime. I wasn't there so I didn't see the incident. If the child purposely spilled the chips then she needed to be disciplined but if it was a total accident then I probably would have just made her pick them up. I do realize that people have bad days. Maybe this mom was having one herself and needed a kind word and maybe helping her pick up the chips would have opened up time for conversation where you could have counseled her. She may have learned something from you. I'm a school nurse and I see people all of the time that get frustrated with their kids and just go off the handle. I've done it myself. I've never beat my kids but I've yelled at them when I shouldn't have. Having someone to talk with would have been nice.

[deleted account]

Quoting Lydia:



Quoting pam:

http://media.causes.com/544740?p_id=8113...

mind our own business???? yes lets make that our goal???? NOT NOT NOT






Noones saying NOT to inervene if you can see a child is clearly suffering from ABUSE. Smacking is not abuse - no more so than walking of and letting a vulnerable child believe that you have deserted them (yes even non-violent forms of discipline are just as destructive to a child and could be classified as abuse if used inappropriately)!






I agree. I can't believe people would even try to campare a smack with a genuine case of child abuse. Perhaps if people stopped wasting CPS and police time every time they see parenting they dissagree with, the authorities might actually have sufficient time and resources to investigate and stop genuine cases of abuse like the one on this link.



I'm not saying that the woman in this situation was right, but we don't know the full storey and we should mind our own business unless we see abuse. I see parenting I dissaprove of all the time, but I never see actual abuse. Until I do, I'll just move on and mind my own business.

Caz - posted on 08/30/2009

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First i would like to say how could she get cross for her child dropping chips into the pram if the child was given them in the first place, if she didnt want mess in the pram dont give the child food.
As for smacking i dont agree with that situation, but i do have 3 under 5's and at times they can be a handful and after many warnings i will smack on the bum, but im not even sure that works tbh, as sometimes they continue to do exactly the same thing, its difficult when ur out and about u havent got 'time out' or anything like that. I wouldnt confront the woman as these days u are likely to get a mouthful back.

Lydia - posted on 08/30/2009

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Quoting pam:

http://media.causes.com/544740?p_id=8113...

mind our own business???? yes lets make that our goal???? NOT NOT NOT



Noones saying NOT to inervene if you can see a child is clearly suffering from ABUSE. Smacking is not abuse - no more so than walking of and letting a vulnerable child believe that you have deserted them (yes even non-violent forms of discipline are just as destructive to a child and could be classified as abuse if used inappropriately)!

Kara - posted on 08/29/2009

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too many people stick their noses into other peoples business without knowing the full story. sometimes there is cause to get involved most of the time there is not. most of the time people only see a brief second of whats going on and do not get the whole story i simply say think before people just automatically react with the chant"child abuse"

Kara - posted on 08/29/2009

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i really think there is a huge difference between discipline and abuse...there are too many kids without any respect or manners b/c their parents don't want to actually have to parent. i think using a "reward" to get good behavior is wrong. they should act good b/c that is what is expected of them. some people need to mind their own business and let people parent their child.

Amanda - posted on 08/29/2009

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Well I think there are differences between tapping.. and smacking.. I dont see anything wrong by it if I need to tap my sons hand because hes grabbing at or doing something he shouldnt be.. because sometimes it gets to that point. Some kids just dont respond to the word NO. Which I think has a lot to do with the way they were raised... I have seen things in public that bothered me also.. and would have wanted to say something.. but I know I needed to just keep going.. and forget about it because everyone raises their kids differently and it is up to the mother on how she does so. If it were me I would just keep them in prayer and let God work things out..then again thats not something everyone does. Its not our job to tell people what they are doing wrong or what you think they should have done differently. On the other hand.. I dont think its right to abuse your child.. hitting in the face and what not.. if it was someone I knew of and they were in the neighborhood.. I think I would go about talking to someone that could do something about it..such as child services.. ect. Because you do have a voice and you have a right to use it in the right ways. : )

Lauren - posted on 08/29/2009

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Good for you Sharon! I don't know if I would have had the guts to slap the lady in the face, but I'm glad someone does :)

Jennifer - posted on 08/29/2009

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I would have asked the mother if she needed any assistance with her daughter. The mother may have been overwhelmed with taking care of a difficult daughter to begin with. My 2 year old is extremely stubborn and defiant. This child may be the same way. You never know the whole picture.

Sherranna - posted on 08/29/2009

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Stephanie, I totally agree with you. My son gets spanked and every teacher he has had always praises him for is behavior. I don't have to spank him too often. but when I do it's a light spanking.

Sherranna - posted on 08/29/2009

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I was spanked as a child. I turned out just fine. I do spank my son. But not for little things like dropping his food on the floor, accidents do happen. If he is being a terror and not listening then he gets a little tap on his bottom, but it doesn't even ephase him. cause it's not hard enough to hurt him. I don't believe in beating my child but a light spanking is not going to hurt him.

[deleted account]

Because I spank my kids when they do something wrong, (which by the way, I hardly ever have to do) I need to take a parenting class?? Wow, then why is my daughter the best behaved kid in her class with the best manners? If you dont want to spank, thats your perogative, but dont bash the mothers who choose that method if it works for them!

[deleted account]

Quoting Rosalie:



Quoting Sherri:

There is absolutely no excuse for hitting a child. Period. The behavior of a child is the direct reflection of what goes on inside the walls of his home. Children learn from their parents how to practice self-restraint and how to behave approriately. Kids will model the behavior they are taught. I feel sorry for that little girl. Her mom should take a parenting class or two. Had I witnessed her hitting her daughter, I would have said something to her. It is always best to protect the child. Don't be afraid to speak up. You saw it happen in a public place, right in front of you, so you have a right and an obligation to the child to exercise your freedom of speach.





Its  none of your business, unless she was abusive.  Just because you dont spank your kids, doesn't make it wrong!






 





 

[deleted account]

I don't think its ANY of your business unless its abusive. Many parents punish by spanking their kids. I feel that the "time out" method is why kids are so disrespectful these days. Kids could care less about being put in time out. I will spank when necessary, and my kids are very well behaved good mannered kids. If it happens to be in public, so be it. You need to discipline the child right when the action occurs, or they will act out in public all the time knowing they can get by with it. Just my opinion.

Linda - posted on 08/29/2009

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when growing up my parents did the same. in public, at family gatherings whatever. They are mad that I didnt hit my kids as often as they did for me and my siblings. Its better to just say quitely to the child, to pick up their mess and if consequences then make them have a time out at home. Hitting doesnt solve anything, just makes the situation worse and makes the child fearful of the parent. I would have confronted the parent saying, chose the right punishment for the crime. Just have the child pick it up , not smack the child for the world to see.

Linda - posted on 08/29/2009

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Quoting Rosalie:

smacking in public

I was in a department store today when a mother walloped her daughter right in front of me, just because her daughter had dropped some chips in the pram.
I was so shocked and upset be the incident, and the daughter was obviously very upset by it.
I feel guilty for not saying something to the mother, or for somehow sticking up for the daughter who was not only hurt and upset, but embarrassed it had happened in public.
What is the right thing to do in such a situation ?
Have I the right to say something to the mother, who clearly can't control her temper ?
What would you have done ?


 

Heather - posted on 08/29/2009

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I would mind my own business unless the smacking drew blood from the child. I sure dont like anybody to tell me how to raise my own daughters.

Alicia - posted on 08/29/2009

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If you see a person abusing their children then you should call authorities but I don't know how you could judge by 5 minutes of observation of a smack. Spare the rod spoil the child. Some children are rebellious and need stronger correction. Some children will listen with just a look. I have 3 children and they have different personalities. Some require more correction than the other. Certainly if you see a child hit with a closed fist that is abuse but a smack on the bottom is needed sometime. I do believe a chat with the child should follow with reassurance that they are loved. Judge not lest ye be judged

Lydia - posted on 08/29/2009

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I'm so sick of the arguement that smacking creates a cycle of violence! My parents occassionaly smacked both of us when nothing else worked and guess what? We dont go about randomly beating people!! *gasp* yes its true folks we defied theodds and became well adjusted adults who know the difference between right and wrong, have grasped the concept of respect and even manage to remain non-violent!!! Get a grip - there is a real difference between discipline and abuse

Rosalie - posted on 08/29/2009

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Quoting Sherri:

There is absolutely no excuse for hitting a child. Period. The behavior of a child is the direct reflection of what goes on inside the walls of his home. Children learn from their parents how to practice self-restraint and how to behave approriately. Kids will model the behavior they are taught. I feel sorry for that little girl. Her mom should take a parenting class or two. Had I witnessed her hitting her daughter, I would have said something to her. It is always best to protect the child. Don't be afraid to speak up. You saw it happen in a public place, right in front of you, so you have a right and an obligation to the child to exercise your freedom of speach.


Thank you Sherri, I wish there were more parents like you.



I totally agree that kids will model the behavior they are taught.



 

Linda - posted on 08/29/2009

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I don't know what walloped means. So I can't say. I don't believed in abusing a child, but I do smack. My sons, when they were small and now my grandkids love to act up in public because they think I will not spank them. I would tell them to stop several times before I spank, but once I tell them that I would spank if they didn't stop I need to follow thru. I had to be consistant. If you had approached me; I would have told you it was none of your business; since you would not know the complete situation. If the child was being abused; (I am talking about being beaten) for instance, then someone should talk to that person.

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