Smoking while pregnant and around your children?

Kate - posted on 02/25/2009

Wow! Thanks for all the feed back. I am also a child who grew up in a home where both parents smoked. My dad still does but my mom quit about ten years ago. He is not allowed to smoke in the house. I grew up with constant upper respiratory problems and had tubes put in my ears twice. This person used to live across the street but just moved into an apt. with the baby's father and the little boy's father. We have talked to them alot but only cordial stuff. We did give them our old bed and bedding and the frame so they could have something to sleep on bigger than a twin. We finally have a king(LOVE IT) I was thinking about giving her the Feb. Parents it has a great article about the effects of smoking and such. I just don't know how to go about it. Any suggestions? 

Christine - posted on 02/25/2009

I agree with Darlene and Heather about getting her some material.  There are so many organizations out there that will even provide free help (patches, etc.) for those trying to quit.  Atleast by sending the information you are planting a seed...hopefully it will wake her up.

Maybe you can consider just trying to befriend her.  She might be having a rough time and could use someone to talk to.  If you do become friends, once you know one another better, maybe she will better take your words to heart.  If the words are spoken out of true concern (not pure judgement), maybe she'll listen. 

Darlene - posted on 02/25/2009

i say type it in an anonymous letter and tell her "facts about what could happen to the baby and her other kids from 2nd hand smoke" and send it to her.

i'm one of those people who have a lot to say but never have courage to just say it to their face-lol.

Sara - posted on 02/25/2009

That's a pretty touchy subject! I would assume that she knows that she shouldn't be doing it, but people tell themselves all kinds of things when they are dealing with an addiction, which at the root is what is going on here. I think the anonymous health department info isn't a bad idea! But, if you just go up to her and say something I would guess you'd probably end up having "words". I have friends that smoked when they were pregnant, and while I didn't agree, I found lecturing them had no effect. But good for you for being concerned!

Heather - posted on 02/25/2009

Yuck! Maybe you can get some material from the health department and anonymously put it in her mailbox!

Christine - posted on 02/25/2009

I'm from Toronto, and smoking in a car with a toddler is now illegal. So is smoking in a playground. Smoking while pregnant, and also around children is completely irresponsible and selfish. Not only is she causing harm to herself, but to her unborn child and toddler. For the kids' sake, maybe you can mention that smoking is very harmful for fetal development, as well as cognitive development in both the unborn and toddler. With the amount of anti-smoking awareness and material available, you've got to be hiding under a rock to be smoking while pregnant and in front of a toddler.

Julie - posted on 02/25/2009

its really hard when u dont no the outcome of smoking while pregnant, i smoked with all my 5 children and thank god they are all fine if i had it all again i would not smoke i am 45 and kids r 25,21,19,17 and 6ive given up now for one and half years and its the best decision i have made, ure neighbor will realise in due time its best not to judge her but sometimes that make`s it worse you should tell her u dont like the smell or what passive smoking does and not b around her when she smokes she might feel bad, good luck

Kelly - posted on 02/25/2009

It is so sad. This is one of those things, like when you hear a parent screaming something really ugly at a kid in public, when you just want to help so bad. Of course the way things are going for smokers, this will probably end up being considered child abuse before too long. I used to smoke, but quit the day I found out I was pregnant with #1 (should have quit when trying to get pregnant, but it only took us one month of trying, who knew?) and never even wanted to start back. I know it is harder for some than for others, but you know another thought on smoking these days, it costs a lot of money. A pack a day habit would cost, what $90 per month or more? I can't help but think, unless they are in better shape than a lot of people right now, there could be a better use for that money too. I'm just too cheap I guess. Well hopefully your neighbor's kids will be alright, since you can't do anything about it! I'm guessing that's one house you'll not let your kids go to for playdates!

Lesley - posted on 02/25/2009

my oldest is in her 20's.  Way back then I smoked, till my apt when I was 3 months, in not even showing yet.  My doctor told me that for every smoke I had, my baby would not go through the breathing motions for one hour after. That was the last time I smoked. 

Cheryl - posted on 02/25/2009

I HATE THAT!!!! I'd most definitly say something! I do it all the time. If they are offended it's because they KNOW what they are diong is wrong. The truth hurts. Those poor children are being set up for a disaster not to mention numerous health problems even down the road! Poor kids!

Becky - posted on 02/25/2009

It's terrible to feel helpless about these things, isn't it? If you are close to this woman you could mention it to her (though she's probably heard it from others as well.)