Someone please tell me Im not selfish

Kristina - posted on 06/12/2012 ( 13 moms have responded )

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So I have a 3 year old little boy. Who I would like any mother do anything for. So here is my problem. I have collected penguins for years. And I have any kind of penguin you could imagine. So as you can imagine my 3 year old loves my stuffed penguins. I didnt have a problem when out of all of my penguin collection he chose my 2 favorite stuffed ones to be his. He LOVES them. They are his "Happy Feet" he says. My thing is I have a stuffed bear that my grandpa had in the hospital with him when he had cancer. And when my grandpa went home on hospice he had the bear. When my grandpa passed away that bear was there. My grandpa used to play with us all the time with this stuffed bear we named Timber. So you can imagine I have a bunch of great memories of my grandpa with it. And it was there for me (as stupid as it sounds) when my grandpa passed away. I slept with him and cried with him. My problem is I dont want my son to have him because hes 3 and hes pretty much destroyed my penguins and I dont want Timber destroyed to. Is this horrible?

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Krista - posted on 06/12/2012

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And no, you're not at ALL selfish. I have my grandmother's Royal Doulton figurine. It's the only thing of hers I have. You think, if I had a little girl who wanted to play with it, that I'd let her? No freaking way.

Johnny - posted on 06/12/2012

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It has special memories for you, ones that you want to hold on to and Timber is part of that, then you definitely should. Just because you are a mother does not mean and should not mean that you have to give up everything that your child happens to want on a whim. Obviously as mothers we are prepared to make sacrifices, but this is something that is clearly so important to you and will not harm him in any way. In fact, it is good for our children to learn that other people have feelings and things that they value, Mommy too. It doesn't sound silly or selfish at all. When he is older, you can explain it to him, and it will probably be a valuable lesson.

Katherine - posted on 06/12/2012

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Nope. Give it to him when he's older. I would put him somewhere where your son won't want him. Does he ask? I don't think it's selfish at all. I have special things too and don't want my kids touching them right now. They wreck everything!
They can when they're older.

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No you're not selfish at all. This may be a good opportunity for your little boy to begin to learn about how other's have precious things too, and that it isn't always about what he wants. :-)

Dove - posted on 06/13/2012

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Not selfish at all. My best friend had a huge stuffed animal collection. Some of them she had no problem handing down to her kids, but there are a few like your bear with special memories that her children are either not allowed to touch or only touch with supervision.

It is not selfish at all to hold on to special memories. ♥

Firebird - posted on 06/13/2012

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Not selfish. I've had my stuffed cow 'Moo' for 16 years which started my moo cow collection. My daughter is 7 now and I still don't let her touch my cows.

Corinne - posted on 06/13/2012

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Hide Timber away for a while, he is yours and holds memories for you.
7.5 yrs ago, I was off work sick, severe ab cramps, D'n'V, shivers, sweats; I was a wreck. The guy I was with was a loser and not only didn't help with any shopping or cooking or cleaning, he slept with 3 different girls in my bed. One guy from work not only worked my hours for me, he came out of his way to my home to check on me, bring shopping etc. One day he brought me some bubbles and some modelling clay as I was bored stupid, he made me a purple elephant holding an orange 'thing'. This purple elephant has pride of place in our sitting room, we have two kids and have been married for 2yrs - that lump of modeling clay is mine!

Stifler's - posted on 06/12/2012

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NO! I would put it away somewhere to keep. Our kids don't need to have access to everything we have. just because we're parents doesn't mean we can't have anything good.

Kelina - posted on 06/12/2012

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Not at all. Adults have attachments to things just as kids do and it's perfectly acceptable to not want those things destroyed. When my mom passed away I got a stuffed fish that she'd gotten from my grandmother. I'd be pretty upset if either of my kids or dogs mangled it, so it's out of their reach. when they're older and can understand I'll probably bring it out.

Kristina - posted on 06/12/2012

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I did take Timber away after seeing that I wasnt the only one who had something they didnt want their kids playing with. My son didnt see me take him so Im sure he will forget about him. Thanks for being so encouraging everyone. I really thought I was being kind of selfish because I didnt want him to have Timber.

[deleted account]

Nope, not horrible at all. Both my husband and myself still have our special toys from childhood. We have them stored away right now. The kids aren't allowed to touch them. At the same time my daughter (2.5) has her special stuffed animals that her brother isn't allowed to touch. I'm sure that as my son gets older he'll have one too.

We all have things we are extremely attached too. Like other's have said, it might be a good idea to store the bear out of sight for a while, or at least out of reach.

Krista - posted on 06/12/2012

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I agree with Johnny. It may be worthwhile, for a little while, to store Timber away up on a high shelf or somewhere where he'll be out of your son's sight, so that he's not constantly driving you around the bend about it.

Kristina - posted on 06/12/2012

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Yeah he does its like "Mommy I want my Timber" and I just dont want him having him. Im sure my hubby thinks Im being stupid about it.

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