Jessica - posted on 01/22/2013 ( 8 moms have responded )
Stepmom advice needed. I am the stepmom to 11 yr old twins, a boy & a girl. My SD lives with me and my fiance full time, and her brother choose to live with his mother and visits us for 3 months in the summer. To start, my SD has been through hell with 2 divorces, and I know its affected her ability to trust women. I also have 5 &7 yr old daughters of my own. My ? Is How do I gain her trust, and try to make her understand there are rules that must be followed. The time between my fiancée's second divorce and us getting together was a 'free' time for her with no rules or any real disapline. I love her as though she is my own child, and I do not treat her any differently from my other 2 kids. Its like I am being held responsible for all the crappy times in her life and she wont even give me a chance. Her behavior is a great concern to me, as I don't put up with disrespectful, mouthy, and dishonest behavior. I also realize that her hormones are going nuts and that doesnt help matters any. I feel bad for my own 2 kids as they simply adore her and refer to her as their sister, but its not healthy for them to witness her tantrums( yes- kicking screaming throwing things) or the way she treats me & her father. We've tried everything, from having heart to heart talks, one on one time, grounding, and taking away of privilages, but all she says is I dont care, nothing you do will affect me. Im really worried about the path this child is heading down and considering therapy for us....any advice?