Stir-crazy and burnt out on kids,,Single mommy.

Ann - posted on 06/03/2010

I have 4 kids, 9, 7, 4 & 2, and although I'm happily married, I can understand the never ending, relentless demands and the seeming lack of appreciation that comes from the kids. Of course they're just being kids, but it can be overwhelming at times. I have found this past year, that getting involved in a ladies' Bible study at a local Baptist Church did wonders for me. They offered child care during the study time, and I got to spend 1 1/2 to 2 hours a week with other women that are on their journey just like me. We represented a large age range and many different walks of life, but it was like a great big family and a tremendous amount of support. Maybe you can find something like this in your neighborhood. It is really theraputic when you can get together with a bunch of women and study God's word, but you also get to share your life and the lives of those around you. It was a real blessing for me. I hope you can find something that will minister to you as well!

Kelina - posted on 06/03/2010

A inspirational story for all those moms out there (espically stay at home moms) that feel invisible in the home. This really helped put things in perspective for me. I feel so alone, hopeless, guilty, resentful sometimes because motherhood brings me to my knees, but it's only when I'm on my knees that I look up. Godbless! Comments welcome!

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I’m thinking, ‘Can’t you see I’m on the phone?’
Obviously not; no one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.
I’m invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??
Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to ask, ‘What time is it?’ I’m a satellite guide to answer, ‘What number is The Disney Channel?’ I’m a car to order, ‘Right around 5:30, please.’
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa *** laude -but now,
They had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.
She’s going, she’s going, she’s gone!?

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, ‘I Brought you this.’ It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn’t
Exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription:

‘To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building
when no one sees.’

In the days ahead I would read – no, devour – the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals – we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the Cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, ‘Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it. And the workman replied, ‘Because Godsees.’

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall intoplace. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, ‘I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become. At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is Erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness.
It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime
because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, ‘My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.’ That would mean I’d built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, ‘You’re gonna love it there.’

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

This was posted by a woman named Rachel huff on the SAHM's forum. I thought you could use this.

Vicky - posted on 06/03/2010

my son is 6 nearly 7 and he does the same thing always asking when his birthday is and how old people are he also still cries if he doesnt get his own way he's not spoilt either and i'm a single mum it can be hard and i always wonder wether im messing up but i tell myself that i love my children and they know that everything else i just hope will work itself out

Melissa - posted on 06/03/2010

I totally feel your pain! I do in home day care so I have my kid/kids and 2-4 other kids here too. I have 3 of my own. School is now ending so I am hoping to get out and do things but it is hard when I don't have enough space in my van for all.

Like others have suggested a play group or church group would allow you to get out and socialize with others and keep the kids with you. Do you have any neighbors that you are friends with that you might be able to exchange baby sitting with? I have a friend that will watch my kids and then I watch her kids. No $ is exchanged, just time away. Which is nice!
Good Luck!

Lois - posted on 06/03/2010

oh my,you poor thing! Take a walk with your kids to the libray and let the older one pick out a book. Call your local Churchs SOMEBODY has to have something going on that will let you talk to an adult once a week or so (even if it is just a cupon club or a kniting circle)

Andrea - posted on 06/03/2010

I felt the same way yesterday. We have been tight on money so all week, the kids and I have been staying home all day. They get cabin fever and here its in the triple digits so its too hot to go outside. Well, by the end of yesterday I was almost in tears! The youngest was playing in the toilet and my 4 year old was standing there laughing. Then she was jumping on her bed screaming and pulling on her mini blinds. My youngest wants to keep up with her older sister and play with her in her room, but I have to constantly get up and check on them because my oldests plays too rough sometimes and hurts the baby! Its just a never ending thing. And it doesnt help that my 4 year old doesnt take naps anymore! But, luckaly, my mom took them for about an hour and a half and I got out of the house. Then when the kids got home, I put them straight to bed! BTW, my husband is out of town for training. He will be gone about a week and a half! So I totaly feel ya.

JuLeah - posted on 06/02/2010

You might find a parent group where you live. It is a chance for adults to talk, while kids play. Or, maybe a faith based group? Something where you can talk with people your age. I know how very important that is.

I have always heard, "If Mama aint happy, aint no one gonna be happy"

We moms' have to take care of ourselves in order to do this very important job we so.

Sarah - posted on 06/02/2010

Ya that will never happen, i dont trust day cares and maybe my sister could keep an eye on them but she'll call me every 15 minutes, because gaby wants to sk me something and so on, they need me im the only one they got , who else is gonna cook thier breakfast, and walk them to school, wash their clothes, change diapers, take em to the park, read bed time stories?.... pick up after them all day i swear my kids think a magical fairy flyes through the house and poof its clean, funny...it all goes unnoticed , they dont acknowlage,the work i put into it, and my son is at a winey , fussy i dont even know, he's almost 7 and he cries when he dosnt get what he wants but he's not spoiled, and i thought only spoiled kids did that? idk, i guess i just never raised a son before im a woman im doing my best to speak his language, my daughter is different, i can relate to her, i dont know, i hope im not screwing up my sons life by not really knowing what to say to him, i love them with all my heart and soul i should prbably take this to god in a prayer maybe he can give me some guidance, see stirr crazy things just go round and round in my head, and when i get short i feel like a bad mom, guilty. every day i feel guilty, i guess thats all part of it. im here cause i have no other family to talk to they dont relate,,

Tamzin~Rose - posted on 06/02/2010

you sound like you need alittle you time if your so stressed.
i dont like day care that much but perhaps its best so you can get your own time. maybe once or twicw a week put them in day care and go get a massage or even run a nice hot bath for yourself and just relax. have a day where you dont do the house work and you just relax. it can help alot.

JuLeah - posted on 06/02/2010

Yup, it's hard. Yup, ya feel as if you are going a bit nuts sometimes.

You are an expert at guessing ages; that's cool. It's good to be an expert at something.

I use to ask myself if knowing all the Disney folks would someday help me land a job. I mean, can you put that on a resume?

I know all the words to the Mickey Mouse song by heart, but what does that qualify me to do?

I don't know if cows dream and I don't know why SpongeBob has just the one pair of pants, so I have my limits.

Get good sleep, things will look better in the morning :)