Supplementing with formula how do I overcome the feeling of failure?

Arelle - posted on 10/01/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have been trying everything from fenugreek, oatmeal, more milk plus, seaweed soup, added pumping and eating more fatty foods. My 11 week old son was gaining slowly but decent until in the last 3 weeks he had plateaued and now today lost a significant amount of weight. His doctor (who is very pro breastfeeding) has asked that I supplement with 1-2 ounces of formula after each feeding for the added calories. How do I not feel like a failure as a mother? I have been trying everything possible and as a stay at home mom it isn't like he isn't eating whenever he wants. I want him to be healthy so I'm going to do it....but how do I beat the depression I can feel coming on?

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Sarah - posted on 10/02/2013

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So agrees with Jen. What is important is that you are doing what is best for your baby....that is what makes the best mom in the world. My first was all formula fed, my second had both breast and formula, and my third was all breastfed. Looking at them today you would never know who got what. They are all healthy, smart, and well adjusted kids. With my middle one (first one I nursed) the first 2 months were hell. She was eating every hour around the clock. There were times when I would dread feeding time because that is ALL I was doing. Then I hated feeling like that.....what mom should hate feeding their baby. I had decided that with my third if nursing was like that again I would just do formula. It was more important to me to enjoy my baby and have a close bond with her then it was to nurse and dread feedings. Amazingly it was the opposite....she was an every 3-4 hour eater from the start. The Lactation Consultant also said that the second time around tends to be easier as you tend to store more milk....not that you produce more....just that your breasts are able to store more at a time.

Do what is best for your son and that is what being a great mom is. :)

Jen - posted on 10/01/2013

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I totally understand what you are feeling, it is hard to accept that we are not the super moms we want to be, which society holds up as the ideal. Just remember that at the end of the day, it's not about you, it's about what is best for your baby. Plenty of babies are raised on nothing but formula and grow up perfectly healthy and happy. You will still be giving your baby plenty of antibodies in the breastmilk you are able to give him, so even though you will be supplementing extra calories, he will still be getting that immune boost that is so important in the first few months. You are not a failure, you are an amazing mom who is working hard to give your baby the best start he can have.

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