Taking daughter's daddy to court...am i doing the right thing?

Shereen - posted on 05/03/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )

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ok so i have reached the limit of crap i can take from my daughters father when i found out he is doing drugs and alcohol and dumping his heavy carpentry equipment of the porta cot i lent him to he could take our daughter sometimes.



I called a family relationships place to try an out of court settlement. So they mediate our session so we can try to work out a suitable arrangement for our daughter. When he was told of this he has said "i am a fool...i'm trying to take our daughter away from him...and that he won't go" now i was not orginially trying to take her away from him just get supervised legally binding visits so that i feel comfortable knowing she isn't alone with him when he could be hung over, stoned, drunk or god knows what else. So now he's forced me to take him to court. Which i really honestly didn't want to do cuz my parents divorced so i was trying hard to avoid this road.



I guess i just wanna know if i am overreacting by doing all this or i really have a right to be upset by this.



I know you all don't know the million things he has done to us but i guess il tell you the worst



he said "if i had to pick as to whether i die to save mia or vice versa, id rather kill her and save myself...i never wanted her remember?"

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11 Comments

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Phyllis - posted on 05/03/2010

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Along with supervised visits I would try to make a regular or random drug test mandatory as well. If he blows it, he loses his visits.

Andrea - posted on 05/03/2010

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Take him to court. Make sure you document everything, keep all emails, letters. voicemail and any other messages. Protect you little girl.

Amy - posted on 05/03/2010

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Just reading the last quote Take him to court. If he doesn't want her then make him sign the form saying he doesn't want her wants no relationship with her. Bad part is you don't get any money out of him anymore. Good part is Daughter will never know what kind of dad he actually is.

I don't think you're over reacting at all.

Shannon - posted on 05/03/2010

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Hi Shereen,

You are not overreacting. Your number one concern as a mother is for your child and her safety. Even if this comes at the cost of the father's feelings. I have never understood how ANY parent could say something so horrible about their child. Good luck and do what is in the best intrest of your child and her safety!

*Lisa* - posted on 05/03/2010

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Take him to court. He sounds unstable. What kind of man would say something like that about his daughter?? Makes me sick. My own bio father couldn't be bothered to go to the hospital with my mum when I was born and I have never met him. I am much better off without him. Do what's best for your daughter.

Karen - posted on 05/03/2010

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Hell no! I'm amazed you even allow him to have rights to be around her. I know that is her father, but when you say such things or don't care to put your act together for a gift from God then how much of a father is he?? Honestly!

My daughter's father chose not to be around and I said Fine because if he rather run around then be with us then he's not worth having around in the first place!

I am really sorry you are going through this though! I wish you the best of luck!

Louise - posted on 05/03/2010

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As a mum it is your job to protect your daughter and if he is doing drugs and drinking he is not safe to be around. It sounds to me that he can't look after himself let alone a child! No you go girl and protect yourself and your child!

Heidi - posted on 05/03/2010

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I think you are doing the right thing. Some men don't deserve to be fathers at all. Protect your daughter thats all that matters. Keep her safe and love her. As she gets older she will understand.

What he said must of have been so hurtful and scarey to hear. I would give up anything and everything for my boys.

Stevie - posted on 05/03/2010

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i dont think your over reacting one bit..do it and hit this asshole HARD

Jodi - posted on 05/03/2010

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You are absolutely doing the right thing. You must think of your daughter's safety. i would request supervised visitation too, if I were in your shoes. If he is interested in maintaining a relationship with his daughter, he will take what he can get and clean up his act. I wouldn't recommend taking her away altogether, but that's just me. I am of the view that all children deserve to know their parents and form their own view of their parent. I also don't know this man, so can't judge. But definitely go for regular supervised visitation. Then, if he can't get his act together, it is documented, but you are giving him an opportunity.

Ink - posted on 05/03/2010

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I don't think you are overreacting at all... and I would be upset about it too.

The comment you posted last... That would weigh on my heart so bad.... My instincts are telling me to RUN. I wouldn't let him near my baby after saying that.