Taking shower with son

Pam - posted on 05/29/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

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Do you think a mother should shower together with the son (7 years old)?

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JuLeah - posted on 08/12/2010

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I lived in Japan for some time. The only option for bathing where I lived was the public bath house. Men and women were not separated. Children bathed with their parents. Whole families bathed together with their neighbors.
There is a BIG difference between sex, sexuality, and naked. I never once saw anything inappropriate, or felt energy that made me uncomfortable. People chatted in a neighborly manner, but were there to bath, so they did that and left.
There are many cultures that approach the naked body with no shame or embarrassment.

Carisa - posted on 08/12/2010

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My rule of thumb on nakedness (regardless of the sex of the child/parent) is to stop when they start getting uncomfortable. He will eventually start feeling weird about seeing you naked, and that's when you should stop. (Of course, I only have girls and my oldest is only 4)

Jane - posted on 08/12/2010

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This is another one of those things that comes up on COM's often.

I for one believe that if you don't make a big deal out of nudity, then it's not a big deal. I think it truly depends on the family dynamics. North America is the only country that finds the naked body more than what it is...a naked body. My daughter is 20 and my son is almost 17. My kids STILL walk in the bathroom on me whether I'm showering or peeing and no one thinks anything of it because we have never made the naked body a big deal. They took baths together until she was about 7 or 8 and he was about 4 or 5 and no one asked any questions about body parts or anything like that because they already knew about the body, etc.

I think if your family dynamic is that nudity is what it is...not a sexual thing but a birthday suit, then a mom showering with a 7 year old boy is no big deal to me. IF, however, you are a prudent family and believe that the naked body is not something to be seen, then obviously, it's not a good thing because you've made the nudity something taboo.

Is what I'm saying making sense?

Mel - posted on 05/30/2009

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i prob wouldnt shower with him but it doesnt matter about walking in and out of the bathroom with you and him, in my family we came into the bathroom without knocking my whole life until i moved out at 16

Samantha - posted on 05/30/2009

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well i have a 5yr old boy and he doesnt shower with me yet he wonders in and out of th bath room while i take a shower.I wouldnt allow him to join me but sometimes he hops in as im getting out.its just a quick brush of nude n thats it.

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Tracy - posted on 08/12/2010

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My objection to showering with my son is less about nudity than personal space. I walk around in some state of undress quite often, that doesn't bother me. Its' personal space and privacy that matter to me. My kids are not allowed in the bathroom if someone is using it, even me, unless there's blood. We knock on doors and wait to be allowed in, etc. And they absolutely do NOT see my partner with anymore than his shirt off, as he is not their father.

[deleted account]

I probably wouldn't at 7 (my son is only 2.5 right now), but we don't make a big deal about nudity either.

Tracy - posted on 08/12/2010

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Personally, I stopped when my boy was about 3. It just seems creepy. Plus, he likes his privacy.

Cheryl - posted on 08/12/2010

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I think this is a touchy subject, as you can see posted.. and also different cultures have different mindsets(your name is unusual to me, what ethnicity are you?) I had 3 boys and don't think I showered or bathed with them except when swimming with suits on.. I am not sure it is a good thing after 2 or 3.. it could be confusing>. so it is ok to do it with you, but how about others?/ babysitters? strangers? relatives? It seems it could have potential problems for boundaries with other adults if there are no inhibitions about it..As soon as children become aware of differences in genders as has been stated, then a modicum of modesty is in order.. not prudishness, just prudence in this case.. Very early my dad gave me my privacy as I remember so that when I was in an inappropriate position wi an adult child molester I was uncomfortable and got the heck out of there!! If I had been that age and bathing wi my dad would the same alarm bells have gone off?? I am not sure.. not saying one way or another dogmatically just be careful and thoughtful about this!!

Linda - posted on 08/12/2010

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No. It's fine when they're MUCH younger, but I wouldn't do it after age 2 or 3.

Erin - posted on 05/30/2009

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I think by 7 it's better not to. I only have a baby daughter so it's not an issue to me, but I'm sure my brother had stopped bathing with my Mum by the time he started kindergarten (age 4). Not saying it should be a big deal if a little boy stumbles across his Mum undressed, but to actually plan to shower together is probably not appropriate at this age.

Nicole - posted on 05/29/2009

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I loved the convience of showering with my children 2 and 3... but now that they are beginning to understand differences in genders they no longer get to shower with the parent of the opposite sex, I feel that once they are old enough to understand differences that it is inappropriate to shower together. My family is very open in the way that the only time the bathroom door is closed is when we have company over, but there needs to be a line drawn at some point, otherwise co-ed showers are not going to end with parental units and are going to blur other lines that children need defined early in life.

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