Tantrums out in public???

Ann - posted on 11/24/2009

hi, i'm Ann,a mom of 2 boys 8yrs and 4 yrs old..my experienced with my little boy was really worst,I enroll him in a nursery class and for the first 2 weeks he keeps crying and shouting,but i ignore it,i leave it all to the teacher coz i know its only temporary,so his teacher's assistant woud take my son out of the room and she would tell him story and after a while he stops crying,so it was almost 3 weeks after he stop..now he is very good in his ckass and very active.

Carol - posted on 11/21/2009

I have five grown children and I know things are done different today, but in my day you saw very little of that behavior. If she is made to behavior at home she will know that behavior is not allowed.

Amanda - posted on 11/18/2009

I belive in spanking. I went through the same thing with my two kids. I let them have their way in public when they would through a fit and one day in Wal-Mart I put my foot down and told my son, "This is my shopping trip, and I will finish without you throwing a fit. If you don't like it than we can go to the bathroom or the car and spank your butt. You are a child and do not run this show." It's harder than letting them have thier way but I believe if you don't put your foot down now than it willl lead to worse problems.

Linda - posted on 11/12/2009

She's only two. Maybe she just isn't ready for what you have tried to do with her. I think I would try to find some way that she can start interacting with other children so that she gets used to them and gets used to having them around you. She's being put into an environment that she is not familiar with or secure in. Parks and playgrounds are one way to start introducing them to other children. Inviting parents and their children over for a small gathering. Show her videos of other children playing together. Move her slowly into this new world. She will be just fine, she's just letting you know she isn't comfortable. My grandson tried throwing a couple of temper tantrums while visting with me. I took him in the other room and told him to scream and yell all he wanted, that it was his tantrum not mine and when he was done he could rejoin me. After two times I never had a problem again. He was a little older, but just some good advice as she starts getting older.

Kay - posted on 11/12/2009

Kids don't understand our expectations of them bahaving when they have not had interaction with having to behave in a social setting. My daughter did well at home just me and her until I would get her in public, she also threw wild tantrums. So I backtracked and just took her around 2 or 3 people at a time, then 4,5 and worked up to a crowded area over the year. She became the center of attention, good attention and always behaved after that. She just couldn't stand being around all those people at once. Hope this helps!

Kerry - posted on 11/12/2009

so maybe she isnt ready for any interactive stuff at such a high level. Try something low key, like a play group away from the home and away from you. Someone else she has to answer to. Does she have these tantrums at home as well? My son did the tantrum thing at home, and we found out threw some test he had asthma, a chemical inbalance was re-occuring these tantrums, He found comfort in catching his breath this way.

Cindy - posted on 11/12/2009

Kara: good idea! And Amen, to the "terrible 2's" issue. People program themselves, and their children, to expect the worst at age 2 and the teens. Kids will live up to - or down to - our expectations. May we bless and not curse, for the outcome we want.

Kara - posted on 11/12/2009

Please don,t listen to terrible 2's! It is such a beautiful age and you should embrace it. She doesn't understand that she SHOULD be doing what other kids are doing.She is a baby. If you want her to participate in what the others are doing maybe try giving her time to run around before the class starts so she gets the exploration out and then maybe she can focus on what the class is doing. Maybe she just isn't ready for that.Enjoy her, you only get 1 chance!

Vickie - posted on 11/11/2009

Your little one just may not be ready for that type of class. Instead of pushing her to take part in that class, it may be best to drop out for now & try again when she's a little older. She does need more interaction with kids her own age. Try lining up some playdates or when the weather's good, take her to the park where she can make friends with other kids her own age. There's too much emphasis these days on pushing kids to grow up much faster than they should. Some people seem to forget that they are just children after all & should let them develop in their own time.

Cindy - posted on 11/11/2009

The more I think about it, the weirder a "class" for two year olds sounds. We've raised three boys - now 29, 25 and 21. I doubt any of them could've handled such a class. They were in church nurseries from infancy, but not structured classes. There is so much pressure on young parents now, to push kids beyond their maturity level; which explains so many kids falling through the cracks in school nowadays. Don't push them; let them develop at their own pace and let them just play. That's how we learned to get along with others.

Barb - posted on 11/11/2009

Don't be too hard on yourself and your daughter. When I enrolled my little one in Gymboree, she never wanted to participate in circle time with the other children. So, I let her go off and play on their equipment. Eventually, she started to become more interested in the circle time activities. As she starts to interact with other children more she will become more social. She is two, tantrums are a normal part of their development. It isn't easy when it's your child, but remember that most of the other parents have experienced it at one time or another. Worry less about the other parents and just focus on giving your daughter the opportunity to "develop" her social skills at her own pace. Even though this class is only semi structured, perhaps she would benefit more from an open play group with other children. This way she can develop at her own pace and feel less frustrated. "Should" be doing is a phrase you should remove from your vocabulary right now. It will drive you crazy. She is two, she is learning and developing and no two children do that at the same pace. I have a 22 year old and a 4 year old. I have the blessing of knowing that "this too shall pass". And it all passes much too quickly.

LaQuisha - posted on 11/11/2009

Because she is home with just you, she doesn't really know what her behavior should be in other places. I would suggest you taking her back to the class, but beforehand talk to some other moms..get them to maybe meet you there early with their kids and have the kids introduce themselves and interact with her before class. Once class starts have her go with the kids she has met. Let the older kids direct her. Her having time with other kids is very important especially right now. I would not remove her from the class. If she doesn't want to participate right now, talk to the instructor about just letting her do her own thing until she wants to do it. Bring something that she likes, books, toys, stuffed animals or something that will keep her calm. Don't force her to do anything that she doesn't want to do.

Sherrie - posted on 11/11/2009

I agree with Cindy. I believe she just isn't ready for that much structure. At the age of two, she is still a baby. She's in her terrible two's ( It is called this for a reason) as all mom's know. I believe she just wants you for right now.

Cindy - posted on 11/11/2009

Hm... this is a toughy. But a couple of things stood out here to me. 1) She may not be emotionally ready for such a structured setting. 2) she's used to being the center of attention at home, which doesn't happen in a group and she cannot handle that. Kids do need to learn to interact and cooperate, But 2 yr olds are still 'babies' and have a long way to go, to learn self-control. Maybe you need to created something like this class in your home, w/ just another couple of moms and kiddoes. Help her learn how to interact and cooperate w/ just a few others at a time.
I'm suspecting this attention-getting behavior is her way of coping in an uncomfortable social situation, partly because maybe she's relying on you at home for all her social needs. But mostly, because she's just not ready for this. Our culture keeps pushing us to "socialize" our children at ever-younger ages and it's just goofy; they're not ready!

Cathy - posted on 11/11/2009

I truly agree with Catherine Schreiber's post. My son at the age of 2 was like your daughter.. It was getting to the point that it was hard to take him anywhere without those tantrums. Finally after a few times of taking him home, which he wasn't impressed with, staying home with me and his baby sister all the time, he learned that he had to stop this to go out and have time with other children and have fun. It doesn't last forever so hang in there. All the best.

Wendy - posted on 11/11/2009

Ok shes 2 and donthave much interaction with other kids its going to take her awhile to adjust maybe start out small then work up there terrible @ 2 they wanna run and play shes proably soo excited about being with other kids. she just wants to run and play give her time tell her if she acts out tell her ur going home and do it and if this hapends alot then stop and wait till she gets a lil older. maybe get her in play dates with other kids so she can get used to them

Rya - posted on 11/11/2009

you said it yourself, she stays home and doesn't get the interaction with other kids. she needs to develop those social skills whether she likes it or not. maybe the class is too crowded for her level, is there a smaller group you could put her in? those tantrums guarantee that she keeps your attention away from any rival toddler or adult. talk to the other parents and see what other options might be available for your girl. and good luck, it's going to take time so be patient

Cindy - posted on 11/11/2009

Your daughter is expressing herself. At the age of 2 movement, socialization, creativity, and emotions are developing. You are wanting her to participate in something that perhaps doesn't work for her and that is okay. You used the word SHOULD very strongly and by saying this you are in essence saying she is not doing something right. Each child develops at their own pace. By the third class she has sent you a message that she just doesn't like being there and that is okay. I suggest you honor her and respect what she is trying to tell you.

Catherine - posted on 11/10/2009

My daughter started that and I (for once) took my mother's advice and just did what she always did with me when I was little and got going - say, just once, that if this behaviour continues, we are going home.' And do it. I think I did it three times, and that was it. It never happened again.