Teacher called my 5 yr old a CRYBABY in class.

Karen - posted on 04/10/2012 ( 287 moms have responded )

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My 5 year old son came home from school today and told me his teacher called him a "Crybaby." She called on him to read in reading group in front of the other kids and he wasn't paying attention and lost his place in the packet. He began to cry.

I sent her an email and she said, (QUOTE, CUT and PASTED),

"I didn’t call him a crybaby. He started crying because he got behind due to the fact that he wasn’t listening and doing what he was supposed to. I made the statement that we do not have crybabies in our classroom but he has never been called one. That would be very unprofessional for me to call him or any other student a name. Thanks!" (END QUOTE)

MY RESPONS=

By using the word “crybabies,” it’s too close a reference in that context. It’s clear what you meant to say, but I would strongly suggest you not use that term in school. My son understood you to call him a crybaby and other students would as well. I do not wish to argue the fine points. Thanks! (END QUOTE)



What are your feelings and how would you handle this??? I now feel she is going to target him until the end of shoool year.

BTW.....This is the SECOND time this has happened!

SUGGESTIONS PLEASE?

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287 Comments

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Mary - posted on 04/10/2012

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I would address the problem to the principal but not change classrooms just yet. The teacher should be given one warning. After all, people sometimes make mistakes. It's an inexcusable mistake, but still just a mistake.

Erin - posted on 04/10/2012

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As a kindergarten teacher, let me preface this post by saying that I agree 100% that this teacher's actions were unprofessional and out of line. That being said, I would first start by suggesting a face-to-face conversation with her and airing your concerns there. All too often, parents are quick to run to higher powers that be before really giving the situation a chance. I also agree with the earlier post about email messages getting skewed. You can always request that an administrator (ex. A principal or vice principal) be present if you feel it will help. I would not suggest automatically moving your child to another class as that may pose more shock to your child's system then this comment may have. Again, I don't agree at all with what this teacher did or how she chose to handle an emotional moment but, I feel that your actions from here on out could have the potential to negatively effect him as well. Never stop being an advocate for your child, most teachers appreciate that more than you know.

Tracey - posted on 04/10/2012

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I'd like to see the original email sent to the teacher.

Can't base an opinion on her reply alone.

Maybe you didn't handle things well in your email. I have no idea what your attitude was with the teacher.

If you were snotty, she handled the situation very professionally.

I do, however, agree with the fact that the teacher should not have used the term "crybabies" in her classroom around young children. No matter how you look at that, it is unprofessional and just actually, imho, cruel.

But you HAVE to handle situations like that professionally or it does leave the teacher feeling like they want to target the child more often than not.

Julie - posted on 04/10/2012

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Emails can be taken out of context so easily on both sides. When I read this I heard the sarcasm in both. If you would have called her or approached her she may have handled it differently. Teachers are human too and while I'm not defending her choice of words.... Basically she messed up and just should of apologized. If for no other reason than because the child interpreted it the way he did. She should apologize to him in person and not make light of it. Hope you can make this work without causing too much stress for your son. So I think now approaching her and nicely telling her how you and your child feel hopefully she will see her error in judgement and you can move forward. A class change might be harder for your son. Good luck!

Paula - posted on 04/10/2012

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Can you move him to another class or another school? Can you complain to the school's director? This teacher seems like she is a passive aggressive person and I bet you'll have problems with her throughout the whole year. These children are too small to defend themselves and your son's teacher seems like a destructive personality.

Rebecca - posted on 04/10/2012

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I would report her to the principal & demand a face to face "meeting" (Confrontation).

It is never alright for a teacher to belittle a child, & especially not in front of his peers!

Felicia - posted on 04/10/2012

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When students in my kindergarten class (which they do from time to time) I simply talk to them and try to figure out the best approach from their responses. If they do not want to respond at the time I give them the opportunity to leave the group and sit by themselves in the classroom until they are ready to talk or rejoin us. Kids, just like adults, can become overwhelmed and not really know how to respond to some situations. If your son felt like he was being put on the spot that probably set it in motion. She could have helped him find his spot or simply let him know that is why we must be sure we are doing our job. I have students who will cry when they are asked to redo work that they did not do correctly. I simply tell them that is their choice but I still need their work done before they can participate in other activities. Of course this also depends upon when in the year we are. This situation would be handled differently at the beginning of the year than the middle or end. Students must first have knowledge of what is expected before you can expect it of them.

I think you handled the situation in a good way. However, as a teacher I know I would prefer to have had a face-to-face conversation and would have asked you to meet with me instead of responding through email. If you feel that things are improving I would leave it at that. I may ask to sit in on a class as well though. However, if you feel things are getting worse or fear that things may get worse I would talk to the principal. I would not necessarily request a new class at this time though. The teacher may handle this the right way and not single out your child. If you feel it is best you should involve the principal though. Maybe request a meeting between you, the teacher, and the principal. The principal will be there as a mediator and will then have full knowledge of the situation. That way if something were to happen you would have the full support of the principal as well.



Hope everything works out for you!

Amanda - posted on 04/10/2012

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I have learned long ago that when dealing with school matters always CC principal an the school superintendant if you see fit. Make sure to make a folder in your email so you can keep all emails to keep proof. My daughter was being bullied an wad told by a teacher if she didn't act right she'd end up a garbage man or working at McDonald's! (My son is happy workn at McDonalds an garbage men in some places make pretty decent money ) The bullying took a year till the school helpd & only after i started contacting superintendant an threatened to call the news!

Lesson i learned most was always CC someone to make sure teachers do not continue to make poor word choices.

Tera - posted on 04/10/2012

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Absolutely let the principal and school board know. And keep a copy of all emails. It's hard to know when teachers are not doing the things they should or doing things that will influence your children in a bad way. But you have her proof right in that email. Usually one meeting would clear things up at our kids school, but it sounds like you might be entering an on going thing w/that teacher.

Brejea - posted on 04/10/2012

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Honestly, I would notify the principle & set up a meeting with all of us. You did say the second time, hmmm. I have a almost 4 year old & wouldn't dare accept this behaviour from a teacher nor a parent. That's not fair coming from a teacher she should know better. Wish you luck, Bre.

Jessica - posted on 04/10/2012

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I would have done far worst not to be funny i would take it up with higher authority such as the principle or the board of education

Kimberly - posted on 04/10/2012

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I think if it was me and my child and this wasn't the first time I would keep the emails and would print them out take them to the school supervisor and tell them how you feel. In my option she called him a cry baby no doubt about it!

Tiffany - posted on 04/10/2012

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Just want to add that she was out of line in the way she handled the situation with your son and the situation with you. I know it is SO much easier to communicate thru email but I despies it completely. There are some situations I can see emailing the teacher(reason for being absent) but not something like this. Some things just MUST be handles in person.

Manika - posted on 04/10/2012

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I think this is very wrong I'm going thru kind of the same thing only with my 13 year old teacher he didn't want to read out loud one day and she said something to the matter do we have any body that's feeling smart enough today to read which I thought was very wrong but she said that she said I know he's smart guess he just wasn't feeling it today,But I know just like he knew what she ment but I think it's very worng and u did not right thing but I would say something to the office and like u said teacher do tend to target kids and that's wrong to..

Becky - posted on 04/10/2012

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She should have chosen her words more carefully...using the term crybaby is uncalled for and mean. As a teacher she should recognize that.

Angie - posted on 04/10/2012

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Take her email to the principal and ask your son get moved to another class. If they don't comply take it to the superintendant. With all social media out there you can have your story go viral and I'm guessing the school doesn't want that type of publicity.

Meghyn - posted on 04/10/2012

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In my opinion save the email and set up a meeting with the principal to voice your concerns. Maybe s/he will be able to transfer your son to a different class for the remainder of the school year. If this was the first time I'd say the email should suffice, also if its not the first time with your son who knows what other child in his class shes picking on as well. Your son felt as though he was called a cry baby and there now may be a chance he could be bullied by his class mates. Her behavior was completely unacceptable, hes 5 he isn't always going to be paying attention they still have short attention spans and there are more appropriate ways to discipline then what she did.

Amanda - posted on 04/10/2012

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I would save that email and take it to the Principal. Using the word "crybaby" in that context is completely uncalled for. I would 100% go above her head. If the Principal does nothing go to the school's Superintendent. I wouldn't want this teacher treating any other student like this in the future. She needs to be put in her place.

Stephanie - posted on 04/10/2012

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you handled it better then i would have she doesnt sound like some one how has the ablity to deal with small children you should go to the principal for sure if this is the second time

Jennifer - posted on 04/10/2012

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I wouldnt wait for it to continue. I would notify the principal and possibly the school district. That type of behavior from a professional in a school is completely inappropriate and when children are beginning their academic life they shouldnt have to tolerate such low taste from those in authoritive positions. Its unfair.

Amanda - posted on 04/10/2012

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I would have went straight to the principal. She has no right to imply, in front of his peers, that he is a crybaby. That could stick with him the rest of the time that he is in school.

Tiffany - posted on 04/10/2012

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This happened to my daughter when she was his age and what we ended up doing is asking the principle to move her to a different class it seemed to work very well

Lacey - posted on 04/10/2012

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I would go to the principal. She is already picking on him. It can't get much worse. Maybe the principal can move him to a different class. My mom had a similar confrontation when I was in 1st grade. She ended up taking me out of school and sending me to a catholic school. Good luck. She shouldn't be teaching.

Tiffany - posted on 04/10/2012

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My first suggestion is to not email. Things never go right in emails and texts in situations like this. This needs to be a face to face conversation so that no one can add attitude where attitude was not intended.

My 2nd suggestion would be to set up a time to talk with her. If you feel that she is not really listening then set up a meeting with the principal.

Stacy - posted on 04/10/2012

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Very passive agressive of the teacher...I say if its happened twice already show the principal

Kati - posted on 04/10/2012

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I would be at the school with her in the principals. I am guessing he is in kindergarten. This teacher is going to make a huge impact on how he feels about school & his teachers. If starts not liking school because he is afraid of what might be said about it you are going to have a child who will not excel. She needs to apologize to the whole class & maybe a suspension day with no pay will teach her to chose her words wisely.

Marie - posted on 04/10/2012

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First of all, he's five. Last time I looked, five year olds cry. They also get distracted. Heck, I'm 40 and I cry. I'd like to see her call me a crybaby.



Second of all, do not wait, go to the principal now. If we're going to put an end to bullying, there needs to be a zero tolerance with the teachers. End this before it escalates.

Amanda - posted on 04/10/2012

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i would put him in a new class. Something like that could really affect him and his learning!

Tiffany - posted on 04/10/2012

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That's terrible! It is really a rock/hardplace when you deal with teachers and their behavior. If you allow it you allow your child to be treated poorly, if you say something you risk them being singled out by the teacher in the future... I would suggest praying about it, a lot! That your words would be softened and sincere, and that the teacher's heart would be softened and her pride would shrink. She, really, should welcome criticism, so that she may become the best teacher she could possibly be. I hope you find peace down this path. Always be encouraging your child and telling them that not everyone is as sweet and kind as mommy and daddy are but teachers come in all forms and (aside from illegal, inappropriate behavior) they can learn from all personality types. It will make them a much more well-rounded adult ready for what the world has in store for them Make lemonade out of lemons~

Amanda - posted on 04/10/2012

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I would take it to the principal. She WAS unprofessional and as a teacher she should know how to respond to a situation like that. There are a LOT of other things she could have said that did not make your son feel even worse. I am glad it was not my kid cause I wouldn't just send an email. Lol.... someone would be holding me back from screaming at the witch!

Mindy - posted on 04/10/2012

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He's 5. Kid's don't gossip. Go to the principle and ask to have him moved to a different class for said reasons.

Emily - posted on 04/10/2012

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I think you did the right thing, and you are absolutely right, she was still implying that he was being a crybaby, and that is totally unprofessional. If it continues, I'd notify the principal or set up a meeting. Keep that email from her!

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