Temper tantrum help!!!

Ayls - posted on 01/16/2013

I've read an interesting article in Wiki How on how to deal with temper tantrums: http://www.wikihow.com/Handle-Your-Child's-Temper-Tantrum

1. Remain calm to handle tantrum properly
2. Keep in mind that tantrum is your child's way to communicate what's the problem or frustration they are having
3. Offer them choices for coping strategies
4. Try to determine the cause of tantrum.

You may also view the article for complete details.

Kim Guinn - posted on 08/13/2009

after you have figured out there is nothing wrong as far as hungry, hurting, diaper, you'll know... this age is when they start trying to communicate and getting mad/angry is for most babies the first one, IF you allow them to throw a fit/temper tantrum they learn REALLY quick hey that worked i'll do it again, and they tend to get worse as you give in, i always told mine "not not not" we don't act like that (i know that sounds silly but it worked i said that because i didn't want to be saying NO NO NO to them for every little thing) AT the first sign of a fit i would tell them that and they would stop and look at me, then i would get their attention with something else. example -if you have taken something from her she shouldn't have, replace it with something she can have, some babies are a lot more stubborn than others YOU WILL have to repeat it several times before she gets the message, if that doesn't work then get down on her level or pick her up so you have her attention, or if she has thrown herself down you do the same thing you have now gotten her attention ( by surprise because she's not expecting mom or dad to to that) and tell her we don't act like that, you don't know how many times i have "screamed and cried" to get their attention but it has always worked with my kids and now my grand kids... also FYI i never picked or put things up and away from them flowers, decorations etc. if they started to get something off the coffee table i would get down there with them and tell NOT NOT NOT that's mama's and they learn pretty quick, hey i can't have that, and they didn't ever bother it again but like i said it takes more than one time hope this helps : )

Debra - posted on 08/13/2009

At one, she may be teething, have an earache, or stomach ache. Crying is the only way for them to tell you something is wrong! If paying attention to her, rocking her, ignoring her doesn't seem to work-she isn't hungry, tired, then she needs to see a Dr. to rule out any sickness. I have had four children and at that age, in can be all kinds of thing! Hang in there and it will get better. Mine had earaches alot!

Crystal - posted on 08/13/2009

I agree with the other moms, its mostly a frustration thing at this age. They have the same frustrations/aggravations that we do, except cannot express themselves fully, even when they begin talking. My son is almost 3, and when he has a moment/breakdown, at home or in public, we still tell him, in a calm voice (as hard as that is when they are breaking ur eardrums), that we will not talk with him until he calms down and stops crying. He is usually immediate to respond with "can I talk to you?". I say " are u finished crying? Dry ur tears." He then wipes his eyes and we get to the bottom of the problem calmly. U can do the same by asking ur child to point or show u whats wrong/what hurts, if he/she isn't talking alot yet. Once they realize, at any age, that their behavior isn't going to get them any help/attention, they will soon quit it all together. Good luck!

Holli - posted on 08/13/2009

One can be such a hard age because although she is old enough to understand most of what you say, she can't let you know how she feels yet. At that age you really can't do much more than put her in her room for "time out" when she freaks out, just so she understands that this is NOT ok behavior!!



Problems at this age are usually related to something physical (new molar? ear aches?) or just frustration at her lack of ability to communicate.

Help her work on baby signs and talking. Reading to her lots will help her with communication too.



Until you figure out why she is throwing tantrums, it is really hard to curb them. Good luck, and know that if you work with her, this phase will pass!!

Stina - posted on 08/13/2009

My 2 1/2 yo started with the tantrums seemingly early too. Usually tantrums happen when they aren't getting what they want or if they are haveing an extremely difficult time communicating with you.

Pay attention to what happens before the tantrum so you can figure out the cause.

For communication breakdowns if you have no idea what she wanted, get down on her level and match her tones "I know it is frustrating when mommy doesn't understand you but mommy can't understand a fit either" it feels strange to get down and raise your voice into a near crying pitch but it gets their attention at this age and communicates that you understand the frustration. As soon as she's quieted and looking at you, lower the pitch and intensity of your voice till you're talking calmly and from there you can try to figure out what it was she was trying to get across to you.... Maybe learn some basic signs for "More" "Drink" "Hungry" etc. so she has a starting point until her verbal skills really kick in.



If it's a fit because she wants somthing that you have said no to, calmly remove her from the situation and the audience. When we started this with my dd, we would set her in her room and let her know that when she was done throwing her fit, she could come out and join us. We had to keep bringing her back many times, but eventually she got it and stopped crying very suddenly when she saw the crying wouldn't get her what she wanted...



At a year it's tricky because they are still very much babies who are most always crying because they are frustrated with their difficulties in communication. Maybe she's over stimulated, hungry, too tired... maybe she's working on some molars. You will know best if it is truly a tempertantrum because you've denied her some request or if its a melt down because it's really hard being a year old.

Cindy - posted on 08/13/2009

Ok. Just over a Year. I can Help on this one honest.

She's frustrated, might be teething, and growing pains. Molars hurt. My son will look at me and just bawl then something shiney catches his eye and it's all good. Because he's not talking yet and doesn't walk, he gets mad that he can't do what he wants to do.



The best you can do is to look at the sitch before you pick her up. If she cries and you pick her up immediately, she's not going to learn to problem solve. If she has hurt herself, hell ya, pick her up. But if she's just pissed because something isn't going her way you need to back away and let her figure it out. Trust me.



When she learns to speak, she'll stop crying and tell you what is going on.



LOL I still can't believe I thought it said she was 5, stupid brain.

Cindy - posted on 08/13/2009

OH MY BAD !!!! Sorry I saw the 5th and my brain said she's a five year old. I'm so sorry.

Please forgive my brain.

Rachel - posted on 08/13/2009

it is true to ignore her when she is having fits my 4yr old still has tantrums and i ignore him plus my 2yr does it to we ignore him when he is calm then we talk to them and figure out what is going on in public usually my husband takes them to the car and sit with them it is hard but u get used to it so just let her have a fit then talk and see what she wants after wards

Bev - posted on 08/13/2009

It's best to ignore the drama of a temper tantrum and simply continue speaking in a calm manner, telling her that 'little girls who cry and scream don't get what they want'--encourage her to voice her desires calmly. Never, under any circumstances, give in to outbursts--even in public. Simply tell her that if she continues to carry on, she will be carried to the car where she will stay (with you) until she cools down. Good luck!

Emma Jane - posted on 08/13/2009

Quoting Cindy:

ok, 5, tantrums. What is going on? What has changed in her life so much? Is there an Hormonal imbalance? At five she should be able to speak to you about anything. Have a Physical done on your baby, make sure everything is as it is supposed to be.

She is only One!!!!

Cindy - posted on 08/13/2009

ok, 5, tantrums. What is going on? What has changed in her life so much? Is there an Hormonal imbalance? At five she should be able to speak to you about anything. Have a Physical done on your baby, make sure everything is as it is supposed to be.

Krystal - posted on 08/13/2009

Try and help her vocalize whats making her so angry Ex: If she cant reach something you would say it makes me so mad when I cant reach things that are very high too do you want to try and get it together? something like that if her tantrums are completely for absolutely no reason at all every child is different but sometimes getting down to their level and speaking to them in a calm voice helps I have nieces that are now 5, 4 and a nephew 2 i babysat them and they were all different sometimes distractions with a toy or something they like to do dance play woth dolls anything that makes them forget why they were so angry to begin with helped. Hope this helps.