The doctor said that now that Keane is four months he needs to learn how to fall asleep on his own, on his back, in his crib and be able to self sooth if he wakes up so that he can put himself back to sleep. He said the only way to accomplish this is the cry it out method because we waited so long. He sleeps in his bassinet by the bed and sometimes with me, he also eats every two to three hours at night. The doc said he should be doing six hours at night without eating. Help! I know I have to do this but this is the hardest thing I have ever done. Has anyone else had success with this method? Are then any other ways that aren't so hard on parents and baby?

Lyndsy - posted on 02/24/2009

Fortunately my son slept through the night, but He wouldn't take naps, which made him very ckraky all day.  My sister-in-law told me about sleep traing, and I finally at 5 months gave it a try.  It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but it is only hard for the 1st week.  The 1st day my son cried for 1 h and 45 min.  I had to just clean the house and not think about it because it broke my heart.  The 2nd day he only cried for 45min, and the 3rd day only 10min.  It took a couple more days of 5min cries, but he finally started just going to sleep.  Babies have to learn how to fall asleep by themselves just like anything else.  I am so glad I did it, it has made my life so much easier.  My son is 3 years old now and still takes really good naps and I don't have to fight him to go to bed or take naps.  I highly recommend doing sleep training, because the week of torture is worth it for the rest of the bennifits for you and for your child sleeping well in the future.  I know parents who didn't do it who still struggle with there kids sleeping through the night at 4 and 5 years old.  You need to tach them young that they can't get up in the middle of the night, so they don't learn they can and will get food or attention if they do.  It's better for them and you physically to get a full nights sleep.  I hope that I helped.  :)

Danielle - posted on 02/24/2009

I will tell you your doctor is right about the sleeping. feeding I think when there hungry there hungry. He is still young. How I did this with my children is I would put them to bed. If they cried then I would let them for about every  15 to 30 minutes and I would go in without taking them out of the bed and talk and reassure them that mom is still there and they are safe. until they fell asleep.  It took some time and patience and a couple night lack of sleep for me. But it turned out great. I would never get angry at them through this process. I am a firm believer that children should stay in there own rooms. Mom and Dads room are for them not children. IT will be worth it

Heidi - posted on 02/24/2009

I have a 3 year old and 9 month old twins. All that I can add is "routine, routine, routine". My husband and I are also of the opinion that kids should sleep in their own beds - I'm not into co-sleeping. (We need our rest - and I think the baby gets better rest without us snoring right next to them).

Anyway, we've always had a bedtime routine for all the girls - bath, lavender lotion, bedtime bottle, diaper change, kisses, and into the crib. I keep their room dark. No nightlights. Although there is a mobile that displays little images on the ceiling while it plays soft music. Usually, they're asleep by the time it turns itself off. If there was fussing, my husband or I go in, give a pacifier, rub their tummy, whisper goodnight - sometimes repeat this a few times - and they're good to go. Too much fussing usually means gas - Mylicon to the rescue! The only other thing to add maybe is swaddling. I found that the twins slept well in their first few months if we swaddled them and kept them in a sleep positioner. Made them feel snug like in the womb I guess. But after a few months, I converted to the sleepy sacks vs blankets.

Anyway - good luck. I know I'm lucky that all my kids have slept through the night from just a few months of age. But I swear it's all about the routine. Babies feel content if they know what's coming. And I can't stress "routine" enough. Not just at bedtime, but all day. Wake up, feedings, nap times, all of that leads to better nights.

I'll keep my fingers crossed!

Skylur - posted on 02/24/2009

I slept with my daughter unil she was about 10 or 11 months. I don't like the cry it out method for babies that young because they really don't learn cause and efect until they are 6 or 7 months. Your baby is building trust in you and when you alow your baby to cry it out that young it can ruin the trust and relationship your building with your baby. My best advise to you is your his mother and you know whats best for him. Just becaue a Dr. said your baby should be sleeping through the night and to let him cry it out does not mean that that is the best thing for him. Every baby is different. And mothers always know whats best for their baby. If you don't feel like that is the best thing for him don't do it.

Jamie-Jo - posted on 02/24/2009

I did this method with my daughter and it is the way to go so that you and the baby can get more restortive sleep so #1 Do not get him out of bed. #2 if the noise breaks your heart then run a vacuum they will realize they cannot compete and they stop after a little while #3 set a goal (I will not get him until 5 am or whatever 6 hrs later is)

Michelle - posted on 02/24/2009

Hi There! I am a Mom of 4 and I think you should do a gut check. Sounds to me like you don't agree with the Doc. Keane has a Mom (who clearly loves him) and that's you and only you know what's best for him. Keep in mind Mr. Man was tucked up inside you for almost 10 months never feeling a hunger pain. There is no manual in this game, I have 4 and all 4 were different when it came to night feeds and sleeping through the night. In my personal opinion you know there is gonna be some sleep loss with a new baby regardless, but more so if you feel guilty, stressed and are crying cause you let your baby cry.

My suggestion would be to do a gut check. Personally I didn't let them cry that young but I did start using a soothing routine about that age. For the babies that like their baths (2 did 2 didn't) I did that at a certain time in dim light, after out went the lights and background noise (sang to 3, 1 hated singing) I rocked the ones who liked it (3 of 4) and rubbed the other one. The ones who didn't like baths I massaged with cream to relax them instead. Then we went into the sleeping room for some secure time, I'm here with you, it's a good place baby etc.. I always ended with a nurse so baby would be more content. I always wrapped them in a blanket at some point so when I transfered them it wouldn't be so dramatic - they would be in the blanket so they wouldn't be losing skin to skin contact. I did have one getting up for milk even after he was in a bed but I gave him water in a sippy to break that(water is yucky at 2 am), took some strength(tantrum for milk NOT water) but eventually it worked. Under a year if a baby is still up for feeds that don't seem comfort related I would try increasing daytime feeds so over all calorie needs are being met at a much better time for mom. Hannah (7 months) my youngest will start getting up when she increases her need for calories and by adding daytime feeds she stops. With the others I started offering feeds before they asked for it to increase the number of daytimefeedings, eliminating nightime ones. Say baby eats every 3.5 hours, offer feeding at 2.5 or 3 hours instead and she will end up with more feedings as the day wears on than the total number she would have had if she fed every 3.5 hours. Honestly that seems to work best for all 4 of them. Oh yah and I had a real mommy lover and I used to wrap a recieving blanket around me under my shirt for a while before and then take it right off me and wrap him in it after the bath and he seemed more willing to relax in his crib cause it had my scent. Hope I've been helpful, good luck hunney, Michelle

Clarissa - posted on 02/24/2009

My boyfriend and I just recently started "Ferberizing" our daughter. She is almost eight months old. I read about this method in "What To Expect The First Year". I was very much against it when I first read about it. For the most part, as soon as she starts crying I pick her up. I finally gave in when it started taking me close to 2 hours to rock her to sleep and put her down successfully. In the book, it says to wait until your baby is closer to six months old to try this method. I would write it all out here for you but it will take too long. Haha. I'm sure you can find it online or something. If not, you can email me at cldelat@aol.com and I'll write it out for you. In any case, it has worked remarkably well. Whereas before she was going to sleep about 10-10:30, she now goes to sleep about 8:15 and wakes up at 7:30 like clockwork. We also bought this other book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" that is excellent. I highly recommend it. I also think four months is too young to make your baby put themselves to sleep like that. Especially when they still need to wake up several times a night to eat. It's easier when they are already sleeping through the night...average around six months. Good luck!

Nicole - posted on 02/24/2009

4 months is a little early for a doctor to tell you that it's something you should do now. I have 2 children. My daughter used the crying method early (about 4 or 5 months) but only because I was always working and my family had to help put her to bed. With my son, I have the time to put him to bed and loved it for a while. At about 16 months I was so fed up with the amount of time it took to put him to sleep, so I once again used the crying method. It works. The first night is horrible!!! The second night, kinda bad. The third night, easier. And before you know he's trained. My son still whines when I leave, but only for about 30 seconds. It's a huge relief. Definately worth it!

Lindsay - posted on 02/24/2009

It is a hard thing to do, but it works! I waited until my son was 6 months old because I just couldn't bare to let him cry it out, but finally it got to be to much, waking up with him 3-4 times a night was taking a toll on me. It only took one night of crying it out and now he sleeps through the night without a problem. I also hesitated to do it because I thought he really was hungry when he was waking up in the middle of the night, but actually I think it became more of a routine to him. Once he knew that I wasn't going to feed him at night he was fine. It is hard to do, but it needs to be done sometime.

Lindsay - posted on 02/24/2009

It is a hard thing to do, but it works! I waited until my son was 6 months old because I just couldn't bare to let him cry it out, but finally it got to be to much, waking up with him 3-4 times a night was taking a toll on me. It only took one night of crying it out and now he sleeps through the night without a problem. I also hesitated to do it because I thought he really was hungry when he was waking up in the middle of the night, but actually I think it became more of a routine to him. Once he knew that I wasn't going to feed him at night he was fine. It is hard to do, but it needs to be done sometime.

Sokha - posted on 02/24/2009

I think 4 months is so young to let them cry it out. I would go for a second opinion, if you're not comfortable with it. I have heard of people doing it that young. But, I couldn't do it, it just breaks my heart to have my baby cry for that long. IGood luck though with whatever decision you make.

Elizabeth - posted on 02/24/2009

Check out the book "No Cry Sleep Solution". You do not have to let your baby cry it out - it is not necessarily the best thing for the baby or you. I could not do it! We used the timeline given in Babywise (book) without the crying it out. Eat, Play, Sleep all day - once your baby gets used to napping on his own then the nighttime will follow on its own. Good luck!

Gretchen - posted on 02/24/2009

Wow! Tough Doctor.  Out of all my children ( I have four) none of them slept through the night at 4 months. My oldest did sleep for maybe 5 hours at a time when he was 5 months ( and yes we let him cry it out) but he was breastfeeding and eating a bowl of cereal at 9 pm because he was hungry. So he was then up by 3 for a snack. The rest didn't even consider sleeping through the night until 7 or 8 months. And we did use the cry it out method. It worked but my kids never slept a full eight hours until they were about a year.  I was happy for 6 hours of sleep. And it is almost the hardest thing I ever had to do, but, they are all well adjusted and sleep in their own beds and they do still love me, most of the time..:). Remember that you know your child better than anyone else in the world and you will know when they are truly ready to take on that "going to sleep on their own" rite of passage. Best of Luck!

Stacy - posted on 02/24/2009

I have had four babies, two boys and two girls.... No baby is the same, some require more attention, some less.... Babies NEVER cry for no reason!! All of my babies slept threw at a very early age, one at two weeks was sleeping 9 hours a night! I always found it very hard to let any of them cry, because 99% of the time, MOMMY could fix it!! I found comforting, a few minutes of cuddling, changing a diaper etc. usually comforted them and they always fell back a sleep very quickly! Bedtime was always the same, few mins of snuggle time, maybe a story, then we went to the bedroom for a bottle and rocking, then they were put into their own bed! I did let the first born sleep with me when he was a baby ---- VERY HARD TO BREAK THAT HABIT, ONCE IT IS ESTABLISHED!!

Colleen - posted on 02/24/2009

I must admit that I'm amused by all of the moms who say doctors don't know anything or they give everyone the same information even if it's outdated. If that is the case, why do we take our babies to them regularly? It's okay to disagree with a doctor, but don't accuse them of being ignorant.



If you read the guidelines on the American Academy of Pediatrics website, it says babies should start sleeping through the night by four months. I agree that breastfed babies will wake more often than formula-fed babies, but they still have learn to fall asleep by themselves, and just because they wake up doesn't mean they are hungry. They may just need something that soothes them.



I am not just a mom. I care for infants at my son's pre-school. Parents do not realize the dis-service they are doing to their babies by running to them every time they cry. Yes there's a reason why babies cry - because that's the only way they have to release energy. They can't run. They can't talk. Crying is how they express themselves. Sometimes a baby needs a good cry to release the energy caused by overstimulation, because it's so easy for a baby to become overstimulated.



Believe me. It's harder on the parent than it is on the baby to let them cry it out. It's so important that they learn how to put themselves to sleep. If you let it go too long, they will cry out of frustration because they never had the luxury of teaching themselves how to fall asleep in their own way. I care for one baby whose parents don't believe in the cry it out method, and it's obvious. When he first came to us, he would cry whenever he wasn't getting attention. The minute we picked him up, he'd stop. Babies understand cause and effect younger than most of us give them credit for, and they can be spoiled. You'll be doing your daughter a favor by helping her start learning to fall asleep on her own.

Caz - posted on 02/24/2009

I'm with you there - its so hard when everyone is not getting much sleep. And teaching our kids to make it through the night is not nice at all. It took my son 18 months to sleep through - we had lots of trouble with his crying at night, as we lived in a unit, and the neighbours down stairs would crank there taps on high (so the pipes banged) every time he cried for more than 2 minutes...it made me feel sick to my stomach The crying out method did work for him - when he was 7 months, it took him4 nights to make it through, but then we had to travel unexpecteddly 2 days after he slept through, so until he was 18 months, he kept waking up at night. We now hve a 6 month old daughter and are living in a house....with her we did what ever she wanted until she reached 6 months. Then we intrduced a specific bed time routine, and taught her to fall asleep on her own. She sleeps through nicely now, i put her down at 6.30pm, and she sleeps for 12 hours. If she cried at night, i would give her 10mins to figuire herself out, if she wasn't settling, i would go in and just give her a short pat, then leave her again. They do learn it....we found that consistency is key, and make sure you have no travel plans for a good while so they can settle into the night time sleep. Some mums don't like hearing their child cry at night..i can completely understand that.....but i find my sleep more important. We found Dana Oblemans blogspot very helpful  - and still great help for our toddlers sleep habits too!

Shannon - posted on 02/24/2009

Sooo cute!!! It gets easier...thats all I can say. Its about what is best for your baby. A good sleep is most important for both of you and teaching him to get himself to sleep is the best gift you can give him. All he knows how to do is cry so of course he will cry until he figures it out, doesnt mean anything is wrong! Its hardest on us who feel awful hearing them cry, but its what is best!

Debbie - posted on 02/24/2009

If you want to torture yourself and your baby go ahead. I hear some babies do ok with it. Trust your mothering instincts! Kepp the baby near you (in bed is fine). I nursed around the clock every 2 hours for the first year and then some.He slept with us for a long time. Now he is a teacher. There were no long or short term negative consequences. Some babies (not all) feel they can not trust their parent to meet their needs and grow up very needy. Please do what your mothering instincts tell you to do. God gave you them.

Carrie - posted on 02/24/2009

The doctor told me this for my son when he was still a new born. I changed doctors instantly. But then when my son was getting older, the new ped. said it was good for him to cry it out. That it wouldn't harm him, that it would actually be harder on us parents than on him! She gave a few hints to help us out that might help you out: get a baby monitor that has the lights that flash when there's noise in the room (I forget what they're called); when putting him down, make sure that he's comforted and then leave; when the crying starts, start out at a five to ten minute period before you go in there and check on him. She said that no matter how long he crys, to just keep waiting it out and increasing the time limit on checking up on him. And when you would go check up on him, we were told to soothe him, burp him (cause sometimes they'll get built up gas from crying), check the diaper to see if it needs to be changed, and then put him down again and start it all over again. I would have to say that the whole week felt like hell. The only thing we could do when we were waiting on the time limit to pass was to turn on the TV, turn the monitor sound all the way down and watch the lights flicker on and off, and coach eachother that it IS the best thing for him AND us.

Also, you aren't starving your child. They CAN go all night w/o eating. Really. It'll be alright. It really truely is harder on us as parents than it is on them. And when I mean harder, I mean that it's nerve racking to hear them cry and know it's better for them to cry than to go and "baby" them. It's great for their muscles to develop, lungs, heart, etc. It really is just fine.

Good luck!!!!! :)

Marlene - posted on 02/24/2009

I agree with Susie.  Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is a great book that describes everything from no-cry method to crying it out.

Susie - posted on 02/24/2009

Read the book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It helped me a lot to understand the reasons behind the importance of sleep. It also said at 9 months they no longer need to be fed during the night for nourishment. That was helpful for me to know. You are teaching your child a life long skill. I did CIO at 4 mo, 10 mo, and 16 mo with my daughter. They go through different phases but now I'm sooooo glad I did it. She's such a good sleeper. We read books and then I put her in the bed and she says, Good night mommy! and that's it. No crying, no fighting. She's calm about bedtime. It's great! She sleeps 12-14 hours. I watch supernanny and I'm horrified by the sleep problems they have with older kids!

It's very hard at first. You will be crying more than he will but being a parent is never easy! Good luck!

Tracie - posted on 02/24/2009

First thing you should do is get a new doctor. Babies are preprogrammed to wake to eat. They have tiny tummies and if you are breastfeeding, the bm gets digested very quickly. They need to eat often and they need to eat on demand. Probably half of all babies are still waking at night at the age of two. Some moms are lucky and their babies sleep soundly right from the start. I was never one of them but it's okay. I don't mind the midnight cuddles!



Personally, I wouldn't leave my baby to cry it out, and never at 4 months old. Do what you are doing, responding to him when he cries, that's the only way for him to communicate with you so don't ignore it. Babies grow so quickly and before you know it they'll be sleeping though the night and you'll look back on this time and wonder how your baby got so big!

Jennifer - posted on 02/24/2009

I literally just went through this same thing last week. Try rocking your little one until he is almost sleeping, awake but very drowsy. Gently put him in his crib but keep your hand on him until he settles down. I also like to keep a lullaby cd on through out the night. This is the hardest thing I have had to do as a mother, but it worked for me. It took about 3 nights. Use your own instincts. You'll know if you and your little guy are ready for this or if you should wait. The cry it out method is not for everyone and it is definetly not an easy decision. No one likes to hear their baby cry. Good luck to you! I hope that your son responds to this as fast as my son has.

Marlene - posted on 02/24/2009

I had great success with this method, but not at 4 months!  We tried it at 5 months once he was sleeping in his crib, but I would still go to him around midnight and 4am for a feed.  We didn't stop the night feeds until he turned 9 months as per my doctor's advice.

When we first let him cry it out my husband and I just lay in our bed and held hands.  The first night was awful (hard crying for 1 hour), but the second night was much better - he only cried half the time. The third night he was asleep in 5 minutes.  My advice is both of you need to be ready to do this.  Good luck!

Jenny - posted on 02/24/2009

Do what you're doing, get advice and then decide what is best for you & baby. My first child slept through the night at 2 months in her own crib, my second didn't sleep in his crib until he was 3 months and then didn't sleep through the night until he was 1 year old. Both were nursed, the second much longer, my kids nursed a lot more often than what was considered "normal"; it gets better. Relax, don't overthink it - they grow up so fast, just enjoy it. When you're ready to try the crying method, you'll know which cry you need to respond to and when. Good luck.

Cassie - posted on 02/24/2009

i absolutely do not buy the "cry it out method," but my daughter has slept through the night since about 6 or 8 weeks. I know i was lucky, but i still don't buy into the self soothe thing. if my daughter does wake up at night i usually go in to comfort her and then lay her back down. your baby shouldn't need to eat every 2 - 3 hours, so i would cut out some of the middle of the night feedings. that's what works for me, but every mom and baby are different!

Cindi - posted on 02/24/2009

That doctor sounds like an ass. Babies do not have the capability of self-soothing until at least 6 months of age, if not older.  I was told this important tidbit of info by professional lactation consultants. You have to do what feels right for you. My son is 10 months old and still eats twice a night. It is something he will outgrow when he is ready. It used to be 4 or 5 times a night up until a week or so ago. We have to remember these little sweethearts are just BABIES. They are not little robots to be programmed, we have no way of knowing what they're thinking. That's why they cry. Good luck!

Cindi - posted on 02/24/2009

That doctor sounds like an ass. Babies do not have the capability of self-soothing until at least 6 months of age, if not older.  I was told this important tidbit of info by professional lactation consultants. You have to do what feels right for you. My son is 10 months old and still eats twice a night. It is something he will outgrow when he is ready. It used to be 4 or 5 times a night up until a week or so ago. We have to remember these little sweethearts are just BABIES. They are not little robots to be programmed, we have no way of knowing what they're thinking. That's why they cry. Good luck!

Angela - posted on 02/24/2009

Well personally I feel it's up to you as a Mother when you are ready to let your baby sleep by himself and again what is easiest on you.  Nobody is home with you and nobody has the bond with your baby that you do.  I have three little one's that I rocked to sleep every night, I sang to them every night and comforted them when they cried.  A four month old isn't going to know why all of the sudden he his being left to cry and fend for himself.  I nursed all three of my kids as well and was able to have them close to me whether in my bed with me or in a bassenet nedt to my bed. Six hours for a four month old is pretty long to have to wait to eat, maybe by six months old but not four, I would seek a second opinion on that. And no, you don't have to do it, all three of mine, even my two year old sleep in their own rooms at night without problems, and I did it when I was ready!!! And Im glad I did because the bond is wonderful.  This of course is just my personal opinion, other things work for other people...Do what you want.

Patrycja - posted on 02/24/2009

This should be a personal choice not a doctor's mandate.  Most cultures throughout the world (and I do mean Western cultures as well) allow for children to sleep in their parents' bed or nearby for at least a year.  Living in NYC, I could never allow for the cry it out method even if I chose to take such drastic measures as I am sure my neighbors would have killed me if my child cried night after night.  My son slept in my bed for over 1 year.  I did breastfeed for the entire first year though.  But he did learn to basically feed himself after a few months so his waking up every 3-4 hours was no problem for me as it required very little effort on my part.  Also, as he got older, the time between wake-ups expanded. 

I realize that some pediatricians in the US say that children get clingy if allowed to sleep with their mothers.  This is a load of baloney at best.  My son is 10 and very independent and self-sufficient in spite of having slept in my bed.  The reality is that many infants need to feel the closeness or even body warmth of another human (it doesn't have to be you per se) to feel safe and secure. 

This decision is really up to you not your doctor.  Follow your own common sense and your heart and you will do what is best for both you and your baby.

Patrycja - posted on 02/24/2009

This should be a personal choice not a doctor's mandate.  Most cultures throughout the world (and I do mean Western cultures as well) allow for children to sleep in their parents' bed or nearby for at least a year.  Living in NYC, I could never allow for the cry it out method even if I chose to take such drastic measures as I am sure my neighbors would have killed me if my child cried night after night.  My son slept in my bed for over 1 year.  I did breastfeed for the entire first year though.  But he did learn to basically feed himself after a few months so his waking up every 3-4 hours was no problem for me as it required very little effort on my part.  Also, as he got older, the time between wake-ups expanded. 

I realize that some pediatricians in the US say that children get clingy if allowed to sleep with their mothers.  This is a load of baloney at best.  My son is 10 and very independent and self-sufficient in spite of having slept in my bed.  The reality is that many infants need to feel the closeness or even body warmth of another human (it doesn't have to be you per se) to feel safe and secure. 

This decision is really up to you not your doctor.  Follow your own common sense and your heart and you will do what is best for both you and your baby.

Patrycja - posted on 02/24/2009

This should be a personal choice not a doctor's mandate.  Most cultures throughout the world (and I do mean Western cultures as well) allow for children to sleep in their parents' bed or nearby for at least a year.  Living in NYC, I could never allow for the cry it out method even if I chose to take such drastic measures as I am sure my neighbors would have killed me if my child cried night after night.  My son slept in my bed for over 1 year.  I did breastfeed for the entire first year though.  But he did learn to basically feed himself after a few months so his waking up every 3-4 hours was no problem for me as it required very little effort on my part.  Also, as he got older, the time between wake-ups expanded. 

I realize that some pediatricians in the US say that children get clingy if allowed to sleep with their mothers.  This is a load of baloney at best.  My son is 10 and very independent and self-sufficient in spite of having slept in my bed.  The reality is that many infants need to feel the closeness or even body warmth of another human (it doesn't have to be you per se) to feel safe and secure. 

This decision is really up to you not your doctor.  Follow your own common sense and your heart and you will do what is best for both you and your baby.

Patrycja - posted on 02/24/2009

This should be a personal choice not a doctor's mandate.  Most cultures throughout the world (and I do mean Western cultures as well) allow for children to sleep in their parents' bed or nearby for at least a year.  Living in NYC, I could never allow for the cry it out method even if I chose to take such drastic measures as I am sure my neighbors would have killed me if my child cried night after night.  My son slept in my bed for over 1 year.  I did breastfeed for the entire first year though.  But he did learn to basically feed himself after a few months so his waking up every 3-4 hours was no problem for me as it required very little effort on my part.  Also, as he got older, the time between wake-ups expanded. 

I realize that some pediatricians in the US say that children get clingy if allowed to sleep with their mothers.  This is a load of baloney at best.  My son is 10 and very independent and self-sufficient in spite of having slept in my bed.  The reality is that many infants need to feel the closeness or even body warmth of another human (it doesn't have to be you per se) to feel safe and secure. 

This decision is really up to you not your doctor.  Follow your own common sense and your heart and you will do what is best for both you and your baby.

Tiffany - posted on 02/24/2009

I didn't read through the other posts to see if this has been suggested or not, but buy the book "Babywise" by Gary Ezzo. I'm following it with my son and he is sleeping through the night at 2 months old. Good luck!

Tara - posted on 02/24/2009

Hang in there, I don't see any need to let him cry it out yet. My son is 3 1/2 months old and we moved him to his own room, in his crib at about 2 months, he was still getting up every 2-3 hours for a while, but now for the last 2-3 weeks he only gets up once in the night sleeping 5-6 hours at a time. I THOUGHT IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN! Sleeping "through" the night is not a concern of mine since we used to get up soooo many times, once is still such a nice feeling.

Roxi - posted on 02/24/2009

feed him a milk dessert before his last milk of the night, like custard and make sure he has had three sleeps a day, some babies are so overtired that they don't even know what a full night's sleep is so if he has all of his sleeps and he is fed a lot he should start to sleep for longer

Kathleen - posted on 02/24/2009

i did as your doctor has suggested and it worked great. It took my daughter about 3 days to get used to it, but she puts herself to sleep for 2 naps every day and the same at night. I will suggest that you wake her slightly just before you go to bed for a feeding(my bedtime is 11 or so) and that will give you the longest stretch of uninterrupted sleep. Your little one will wake up a few times over the next few days, but unless she's in real distress, leave her and she WILL put herself back to sleep. Use the same exact routine for naps and bedtimes and it should work out!

Wendy - posted on 02/24/2009

Tiffany,

I will be honest this NEVER worked for us with my first son, however he has SPD, but I have another friend that this method didn't work for them either. It is what feels right to you and your baby!! My son is almost 3 and starting to go to sleep all by himself, my friend's child also started sleeping by himself at 2. I know this seems a long way off but they are only little for a while. But here is what we did:

1) when your baby starts to fall asleep, lay him down. But stay close! I tried to lay my head beside him and kept my hand on his chest.

2) gradually (in a couple days) lay him down with just your hand an him.

3) then sit beside his bed with your hand just inside

4 the point is to slowly move out of the room.

With my daughter this was a 3 week process but was relativly painless. The first night of slight change was a little awkward and took quite a while. But you will have to find what works for you and yours!!

p.s. But a t-shirt of your in his bed with him so that he can smell momy and he will be comforted (make sure it is not a danger, we would but it under my kids bed sheet)

Amy - posted on 02/24/2009

I think that every baby is unique and different and that the cry it out method is not the only anwser-especially for a 4 month old! i did the cry it out method with my fisrtborn, but not until he was at least 6 months old. Now with my other baby I pretty much just went with things and accepted that he's a baby and this is all new to him. I let him set his schedule but didn't reinforce staying up when he did wake up at night. Do what feels right-Trust yourself and your baby!

Sarah - posted on 02/24/2009

It was very hard on me to just let our son cry it out, but evenatually he fell asleep. When we started feeding him cereal it went alot better. I just make sure I get him good and full before we put him to bed He will wake up once in a while in the middle of the night, but will fall back asleep easily. I occasionaly will get up to get him his bink when he crys out in the night but sometimes he falls back asleep without it. It's been tough but I feel he has to learn to sleep on his own. My pediatrician gave us the same advise your did.

Emma - posted on 02/24/2009

Your baby will only be little once, and from my experience ( I have had 3 babies) they cry to tell you they need something. If he is allowed to cry, and no one comes, he will be sad and confused. He simply wants to know that he is secure and safe. I fed my babies when they were hungry and held them when they cried, and it worked for me. When he is ready he will sleep through the night. In my case because I fed on demand and held on demand they were secure and they were fine on their own longer, because they knew I was there. Anyway that is what I did. Good luck!

Kenda - posted on 02/24/2009

I agree with Natalie, Christine and Autumn and in the end it is what really works ... if you want to be a "responsive" mother during the day, then do this for the night time and with some time and effort, it all works out. Are you still breastfeeding? Just get them fed prior and this should work with some work . Although I can't say I have lots of "experience", as in have had five kids or whatever, I'm a mother of two and it worked for the first one and am doing the same for my 3+ month old son. He is sleeping about 5-7 hours, sometimes a squabble here or there, but overall, he sleeps fittly, as does mom. That way I can function. It helps mom and baby out in the end and sets the child/children up for naps and night time / sleep time for later on - - it's the consistency that sets them up and then they adjust if you prep for it and if you prep them for it! Don't think this will happen in one night - the "trainers" think 10-12 nights, we/our son was "ready" after about 5-6 nights ... his day time schedule is changing too so that helps the night times - Thinking of you! All the best

Amanda - posted on 02/24/2009

I used to dread bedtimes, Madison would wake up every hour or 2 kinda eating, but really just using that to put herself back to sleep. Our pediatrician also recommended the self-soothe method, and it took about a week of absolute misery and crying and carrying on, but she sleeps all night now! It is hard while you're in the middle of it, but it has made both Madison and myself much happier. They really are supposed to sleep for longer than 2 or 3 hours at that age, and when they're awake more than that, they're really not getting the rest they need. I recommend reading at least 1 of these books: "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth, "Sleeping through the night : how infants, toddlers, and their parents can get a good night's sleep" by Jodi A. Mindell, or "The happiest baby on the block : the new way to calm crying and help your baby sleep longer" by Harvey Karp. I found them all to be so helpful! Good luck!

Kristin - posted on 02/24/2009

The cry it out method def. worked for me. But I think the Dr. shouldn't say that you've waited so long! I had always heard that this method is not recommended until the babies are 6 months old.

Anyways, good luck, it worked for my son beautifully. He went 20 min. the first night, 15 min. the 2nd night and then 5 min the third night.  He goes to sleep on his own like a dream. I am forever thankful to this method!

Shawna - posted on 02/24/2009

my daughter is six month old and she sleep through the night..... she started sleeping throught the night when she was three month old.... the crying method work.... so you should try.... it....

Rebecca - posted on 02/24/2009

Interview and find a new doctor - that sounds entirely cruel and like very outdated advice.  Trust your mama instincts - if it doesn't feel right, then it likely isn't.  A 4 month old is very young and cannot be expected to self soothe or sleep all night.

Carol - posted on 02/24/2009

I have three kids myself, one seemed like he never slept, one that was kinda a good sleeper and my last sleeping 5 hours at a time by 3 months. The bottom line is all babies are different and all mothering stages are different. He's your baby and NO ONE can change that. If you don't care if he sleeps with you and you wake up every 3 hours to feed then so be your decision. I personally think babies HATE to be on their backs and it's very hard for them to sleep that way. I am in no way suggesting you put your baby on his stomach...but I will tell you I did that with my third and used a breathing monitor and it was amazing how well she slept. You can also try swaddling him tightly and using a positioner and putting him on his side.



Do what's best for you and your family!! Bottom line!

Karla - posted on 02/24/2009

You have to do whatever you feel it's right and whatever works for you, my baby is 10 months old and he still wakes up in the middle of the night, I am very very tired and every morning I wake up saying I will let him cry, I tried to do it and it worked, I was pretty nervous but he only cried for 3 minutes and fall asleep so it wasn't bad that was like 3 nights and then he started teething so I am back to square 1, It is my only son and he will be a baby only for so long so I decided to deal with it, besides I don't like to see him cry, I am sure in a couple of months he will be sleeping tight.  Godd luck! ;

Carreen - posted on 02/24/2009

Tiffany,

You are finding that everyone has an opinion and everyone's is different.  That's cause we are all human.  And that goes for your little one as well.  Not everyone develops at the same rate and not everyone has the same kind of needs at the same time.  First advice I can give you is talk to your dr. again.  If you have concerns, let him know.  If you are uncomfortable w/ something - don't do just cause he says it's the way it should be.  I have four beautiful, healthy, happy kids that include a set of twin boys and I never let any of them cry it out.  I nursed my first two until they were about 6 months old and the twins I decided it was a bit much and just stuck w/ the formula.  I am not one for routines but that's just me.  So I never passed that along to my kids b/c that's how I was.  The other advice I can give you is follow your instincts.  You know your baby better than anyone and that includes your dr.  Just cause he says it should be this way doesn't make it so.  I personally think it is a cruel thing to do to let them "cry" it out at any age but I also understand that sometimes that's the only way so I say I would try other things first and see what happens.  Use it as a last resort b/c it seems to me that you are a bit worried about doing this.  And honestly I can say I DON"T BLAME YOU!  And there isn't some golden rule that says you can't try other things first like a routine, rocking, swaddling, perhaps a new formula to help keep him fuller thru the night or something like that.  Hope it helps - I know it can get overwhelming but Ijust can't see where letting them cry it out helps anyone - they are only small once.  I wish you luck and just remember you always have options.  Just start trying things and see what works.

Sarah - posted on 02/24/2009

Quoting Tiffany:

The doctor said that now that Keane is four months he needs to learn how to fall asleep on his own, on his back, in his crib and be able to self sooth if he wakes up so that he can put himself back to sleep. He said the only way to accomplish this is the cry it out method because we waited so long. He sleeps in his bassinet by the bed and sometimes with me, he also eats every two to three hours at night. The doc said he should be doing six hours at night without eating. Help! I know I have to do this but this is the hardest thing I have ever done. Has anyone else had success with this method? Are then any other ways that aren't so hard on parents and baby?

yeah the doctors pretty much right, i just let clara cry it out eventually and it worked. of course while she was crying i was imaginging that she might be caught in the curtains, or choking or something like that but shes alright. try and make a way to look in on them without them knowing that your doing it so you can reassure yourself they're alright