The truth about Santa

Janelle - posted on 04/30/2013 ( 20 moms have responded )

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Is it bad that I told my kids that Santa Claus isn't real? I'm the one who buys their stuff and the Easter bunny doesn't exist its a lie. My friend told me that's wrong but I don't know.

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Dove - posted on 05/01/2013

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So what is this? You want your friend to respect what you choose to do with your kids, but won't respect what she does with her kids? In that case... I would say you ARE wrong. Not because you choose not to do Santa, etc... but because you are not respecting your friend's right to do these childhood characters with HER kids.

Enna - posted on 05/03/2013

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OK guys, you need to stop arguing, no offense intended, but you aren't improving the conversation in any way.

They are your kids, tell them what you want. I don't worry about if other kids tell my kids that Santa isn't real. They believe well enough when those presents appear under the tree. And eventually they all grow out of it anyway. I think it's easier once they don't believe anymore because then you don't have to be so secretive about it.

Jodi - posted on 05/02/2013

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I think it may have been this "I would never feed my kids that "santa buys you presents" nonsense." (do I need to point out the word nonsense as something that is condescending to parents who do feed that to their kids?). And possibly the fact that they aren't your kids anyway.



Perhaps, if you don't want someone to think you are preaching from a pedestal, you should reword your post ;) Just a suggestion.

[deleted account]

I would never feed my kids that "santa buys you presents" nonsense. My stepkids have been told that Santa thing from their grandma (since was previously their "mom" before my husband and i got married), but we had the discussion that we were going to tell them santa isn't real. I just feel like a child should know and acknowledge and thank the person who took the time out to buy them a gift they would enjoy. So, last year, after my husband and I discussed the Santa thing with them, we all made lists of the people we wanted to make or buy gifts for. They COMPLETELY enjoyed being a part of the process, rather than magically seeing gifts appear under the tree, with no active participation from them in the Christmas gift-giving aspect. We made the whole Christmas season about the spirit and family time, rather than getting all the toys you want from some mysterious guy in the middle of the night.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/01/2013

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Whatever you want really. But I do agree with Denikka. Make sure they know other kids still believe, and not to ruin it for them.

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Evelyn - posted on 07/05/2013

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For the general topic of the discussion:

Kids need imagination and be able to be creative in their minds. Fairy tales are the same way. It brings out the kids imagination and creativity.

My own kids went through the Santa and Easter Bunny phase when they were younger. They figured it out on their own in their own time. My kids are also seven years apart, and once my oldest figured it out she promised me she would keep up with things for her younger sibling until he figured it out. Neither suffered for it.

There is a magic in Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, and such. If this is taken from our kids, life would be boring.

Brandi Rae - posted on 07/03/2013

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No absolutely not bevause kids need imagination,and makebelieve is part of that
Kids arent kids forever so let them have fun while they are still lil.
You shouldnt listen to what others say
You should raise your child the way u want,and try to ignore your peers and everything and try to be the mom. Peoplevtick me off trying to tell me how to raise your child. That friend sounds like shes yrying to othet mother you

[deleted account]

in my family we have santa. when i was growing up we got 1 gift from santa, and the rest from family/friends. my kids get the same (and for easter too) one gift from santa, and gifts from us, their grandparents etc, and it all comes under the same budget. my parents still do gifts from santa for me (28) my brother (26) and my sister (20), we get chocolate!!

the way i see it is each family is different. when it comes to things like santa really it's just a matter of what works for your household.

Angela - posted on 05/04/2013

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Now I don't want my post to read as offensive - but here goes with my stance on Santa Claus ....

Firstly I'm British, and most British people I know, who do the Santa Claus thing with their children do NOT allow their kids to believe or feel that Santa is the provider of their gifts. Santa is the DELIVERER of their gifts! So the children know that X, Y and Z items were gifts chosen and paid for by Grandma, their parents and Auntie Sue respectively. The gift givers choose and buy the gifts and then send them off to Santa at the North Pole. Online or mail order buying sometimes makes it possible for the gifts to be sent to Santa direct!!! Santa then delivers said gifts at Christmas! So why aren't others telling their children this?

In the UK, Santa Claus is also known as Father Christmas. The legendary figure of Santa Claus/Father Christmas is a combination of St Nicholas and and Yul Vater (Yule Father).

Many of the stories of things that St Nicholas did in his lifetime were legends anyway. He helped an impoverished family with 3 daughters by dropping gold coins down their chimney. Other versions of this tale tell us he dropped the gold coins into the girls stockings when they were hanging on the line after being washed. St Nicholas is a very popular Saint in the history of Christianity.

Yul Vater was a character from Norse mythology who represented the spirit of wintertime and the Yule festival was celebrated at the time of the winter solstice which is very close to Christmas. Merrymaking was what was done at Yule - this included eating, drinking and gift-giving, having good times with the people you love. The festivities going on for about 12 days was normal and use of evergreens etc was extremely common in decorating peoples homes and surrounding during this period.

Some parents who don't buy into the myth of Santa Claus (and therefore don't present this fantasy to their kids) might still refer to Santa in a jokey way chatting with family members of all ages including children! Rather like adults do amongst themselves. Santa may not be "real" but the legend and spirit of Santa is very real indeed.

So one way or another, Santa can still be part of family life at Christmastime.

Now, is it right for your kids to disclose the truth about Santa to other kids? It rather depends.... Generally, children of ALL ages prefer to "know" things that make them feel more grown-up and mature. I really can't imagine why a child would be upset that there was no Santa, though I can guess that a lot of parents might object. The whole Santa fantasy is possibly more for parents than kids. If the child is old enough to understand and believe there's no Santa Claus, then he/she is also old enough to understand that gifts are provided by parents, close family & friends. So they shouldn't be upset and feel that "no Santa Claus" equals "no presents at Christmas".

If you tell your child something that shouldn't be shared with other children, do you really think they're going to keep their mouths shut? Placing myself (hypothetically) in the shoes of a child who believes in Santa that has a classmate or friend who knows it's just a popular fantasy, I would rather KNOW than be subject to the pitying looks, the lofty stares and the smug grins from another child the same age.

At the age of 7 I found out there was no Santa. No-one told me, I worked it out for myself. I told a few of my peers at school and was met with scorn. "Have you only just realised? My goodness, how babyish are you?"

At home I told younger siblings. Kids love to be the one that tells the news! They were OK with it. But my parents weren't. I remember my mother telling my father whilst pointing to me that "It was THIS one who 'put in the poison' ...."

Pamela Joy - posted on 05/04/2013

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Roxanne is right. They're your kids; tell them them what you think. But the main thing is about Jesus who died on the cross for us. He's the reason we have Christmas. Here's a suggestion: now you can celebrate with Jesus instead of Santa. Jesus is more important than Santa and the Easter bunny. I hope this helps!

Jodi - posted on 05/02/2013

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Really, Kimora? *I* came across as offensive? Just because YOU have an opinion, doesn't give YOU the right to make comments that may be offensive to other mothers who do keep Santa in their children's lives. This post was about whether it was a bad thing that the OP didn't want to keep Santa real. Not a SINGLE mother said she should. Not a SINGLE mother put her down for her beliefs. And then you posted putting down every parent who DOES decide to keep Santa in their child's life.

Allow me to offer a suggestion. If you want to connect with other parents on this site, maybe this wasn't really the right approach - calling the things some families keep as tradition "nonsense".

[deleted account]

Well, I can see how that "nonsense" comes off as offensive. I was gonna say crap but I figured that was worse. But the wording seems worse than the actual intention, since you can't tell intention from what someone types. But because they're not "my" kids doesn't mean they're not "mine", as their mom isn't involved in their lives and they see me as "mom". I thought that was rude of you. I'm on circle of moms to connect to and chat with women who are mothers to the children in their lives. Whether its biological or not.

[deleted account]

I don't know where you're getting "pedestal" from Jodi. I was stating MY opinion on the whole Santa thing. I never stated I was on a pedestal or better than anyone. What other people do in their families is really their business. There's neither wrong nor right. But IN MY OPINION, I don't agree with my kids believing in Santa as the person who buys them gifts.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/01/2013

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It is not up to you to make those decisions for other parents and their kids. Why would you want to spoil that for them? It is non of your business how they deal with it, and it is non of their business how you deal with it.

I don't really care if I get credit for buying my kids presents. It is seeing their little faces light up with excitement. It sounds lame, but that is payment enough.

Jodi - posted on 05/01/2013

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Well, again, that's up to you. It doesn't make your friend wrong about her beliefs (or anyone who chooses to have Santa and Easter Bunny), but your friend shouldn't be telling you that you are wrong either.

Janelle - posted on 05/01/2013

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But kids should be grateful shouldn't they, I mean I bought them that I want the thank you not no Santa. And the Easter bunny isn't real, it's the truth my friend was wrong.

Dove - posted on 05/01/2013

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Nope. Different families have different beliefs and neither way is wrong on this topic. Be prepared to be told you are ruining their childhood and other such nonsense, but... it's not true. Just as people who choose to do these characters for their children are not wrong... neither are those of us who choose NOT to do them.

Jodi - posted on 05/01/2013

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That's your prerogative. It's only wrong if your kids then run around and tell other kids, smashing their beliefs.

Denikka - posted on 04/30/2013

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It's not wrong, it's a personal choice.
I think the biggest thing is that your children understand that other kids do believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc and it would be wrong of them to ruin that illusion. This is one of things that they need to keep to themselves and not tell to other kids.

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