Their only tie is gone shouldn't she be gone too?

Chloe - posted on 11/01/2012 ( 26 moms have responded )

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My fiance's ex won't leave me alone on social networks. She writes lies and says stuff to make me not love my fiance. She tells of all of the bad things he did when they were married and never says what she did, of course. She is relentless. We have tried to report her but she just goes on and on and on and on. Their only child died last June and I never met their daughter. The only problem I have had with the mother is that she stole an angel that my fiance put on their daughters grave to "piss him off" her words. I say that their daughter was their only tie they have been divorced for 7 years. Why can't she just leave me alone.

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Kimberlee - posted on 11/01/2012

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If she harasses you on social networking site just block her.

Why are you guys even talking to her ?

Kathy - posted on 11/01/2012

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Not much more to add since you already have her blocked, but you should ask your mutual friend to stop sending you the stuff she posts. There's no need for you to read it. It doesn't do anybody any good to know what she says. they are just words. As far as the RIP page, perhaps the best thing you can do to honor the daughter is to make a new page with you and fiancé as the admins, and block her from the new page. Then you will have your own site that is nothing but positive memories and thoughts, and she can live in her crazy world alone.

Kimberlee - posted on 11/01/2012

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Holly , doesn't it take two to talk?



I don't have to talk with anyone that I don't want to talk to , between caller ID and blocking people on social media sites.

Holly - posted on 11/01/2012

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hun, because regardless of whether or not they have no ties, you STILL represent EVERYTHING that she couldn't "fix" in their relationship... you are the evidence that she failed as a wife. you are the realization of the break up of their family.... whether or not you CAUSED it, she preceives is as your fault that she can't get it back together... and her just taking the angel to piss your SO off is proof enough that she still wants him to conjer up some sort of feelings for her... whether it be pissed off feelings or feelings of love

Natasha - posted on 11/06/2012

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Sounds like she is bitter and in pain, the ties are not broken because their daughter died, he is the link to her daughter and sometimes by being angry or bitter at someone can keep you closer to whats missing, it cant be easy for you ,but just try to block her out,let your friends know that your not interested in what she is posting so not to keep you in the loop, there is always 2 sides to every story, you probably will never know why shes so bitter but im sure she didnt start off this way, after all your fiance married her once. The woman has issues i would ignore her completely and get on with life.

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Chloe - posted on 11/06/2012

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Thanks so much it is hard because she even makes fun of me being the "better person" by not saying anything and I am NOT really like that...It takes all I have in me to ignore it but its getting easier now that NO ONE is going to send me ANYTHING! I have made the plea for everyone to just stop. I think she has had feelings for him since the divorce. She did not want it and made it very difficult for him. Not the whole other half of the story but I am sure it has a lot to do with it. She has had 3 different men since I have known her a little over a year. And now shes engaged to a man she cheated on my fiancee with. Soooo Good Luck to him but I think we all know what its like to go back out with someone you had a brief thing with lol Maybe? I hope it does ;last so my peace can last or else I hope her other ex husband keeps her busy lol

Erika - posted on 11/06/2012

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She's not worth the energy you're putting in to being upset. When you let her upset you, you are giving her way too much importance in your life. Just take a deep breath and let it go. Anyone who knows you will know the truth. Everyone else who believes her can go kick rocks.

Chloe - posted on 11/06/2012

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Ok well she got busy Thank Goodness...Now she is bothering her other ex husband and his gf...all up and down Facebook and her blog but I am OUT of it...I hope she really does move on and leave us alone it's been a few days now Cross your fingers for me :) and Thanks for your encouraging words :)

Chloe - posted on 11/03/2012

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EXACTLY what I told her. Shouldn't she be more worried about her daughter being dead and the fact that she still has one kid that needs her. I have offered her help only to have it used against me. My friend told her about some abuse that I had been through on top of loosing my 7 1/2 month old daughter too She said that God was punishing me for being a bad Mother. She also wrote that she didn't think my ex hit me hard enough. This woman is probably beyond help. She is as cold as they come and its sad that even her daughters death didn't teach her anything about com[passion.

Sarah - posted on 11/03/2012

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Not being funny here but has anyone actually thought how awful it must be for the mother who has lost her child and come on guys no one knows how we are going to react from such an awful situation. Im sorry but i really dont think you have a right to involve yourself in a child that was not yours and you never knew, even if she is involving you, have some respect. her child is dead. The woman probably feels at a complete loss and your fiance is the only connection she has left of her child. Its an awful thing that she is doing to you i agree but you should sit back and not react as any contact will most definately spark a responce. Im sure that to close this site down would be far better for you. There are far better ways to remember some one. The poor little girl would be so sad knowing what carnage her death had caused by adulds that are fighting. Respect, consideration, empathy and human kindness are missing. I personally would "kill her with kindness" help her she obviously needs it.

Chloe - posted on 11/03/2012

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I wanted to say thanks to you that replied. I have realized that if I just keep defending myself and my fiance it just gives her fuel and I am not going to do that anymore. If she doesn't like that I mention my fiances daughter that passed away then she can stop looking at my blog. I just wish she would just give up. She already has a new man so shouldn't she be concentrating on him. I figure it like this. If she doesn't like something my fiance or I do or anything in our life HER opinion doesn't count. She is NOT and will NOT be apart of our life which unfortunately DOES include her daughter because my fiance will never stop missing or loving her and I don't care what his EX-wife has to say about it. She quite obviously needs to get back on her medication or get some better counseling but Thanks for your stories and ENC

OURAGEMENT (Deb) I am glad to hear that it gets better and she may just get bored listening to herself and leave us alone :)

Rachel - posted on 11/02/2012

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She probably still wants to be with him so she's doing all of this, to make things harder on you. Maybe she's hoping you'll leave and she can get him back?

Who knows.

I know it sucks but I would ask your friend or whoever is copying and pasting you what she's saying, not to anymore. Tell them you appreciate the heads up but you can't do anything about it anyway and it's just upsetting you.

Anyone that really matters, will know she's just saying those things out of spite. Anyone else, well they don't matter so who cares.

Deb - posted on 11/02/2012

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I had a similar situation. May I suggest just ignoring her; she will eventually get tired of all of this, but it sounds like she needs some serious pychological counseling. You can block her on social sites, etc, but if she tries to make real world, physical contact with you, there is such a thing as a restraining order - use it if you need to. Don't let her become a wedge between the two of you. For us she was still making contact with my fiance more than 2.5 years after their break-up, but eventually she did realize she wasn't going to change things for us and left us alone. It eventually does get better, but take what actions you need to take to protect yourself and your relationship. Don't put the burden of fending her off on your fiance.

Amy - posted on 11/01/2012

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Just delete and ignore the comments, and block her as much as possible. If you don't like what someone posts on your page it can be deleted it doesn't have to stay there for everyone to see. Whoever is passing along the information to you tell them to stop and if they don't stop block and delete them. Don't feed into it, ignore it and if you can't then stay of the site unless your fiance checks to see it's clear first.

Chloe - posted on 11/01/2012

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That was one of her "things" that I was added and I didn't meet their daughter.

Chloe - posted on 11/01/2012

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Thanks! I appreciate that. We are still on the daughters wall. The mother had Facebook memorialize it and now only people that were on there already can see it. Not the mother because she was already deleted off before she tried to get Facebook to take it down :) So that is a great idea. I can just ignore all of it My life can be in peace again :)

Chloe - posted on 11/01/2012

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I really really really really want to start posting stuff she has done too. but like you said I am thinking with someone this loopy i may just have to be the bigger person go on with my life and Succeed in making the man of my dreams happy...she had her chance she stopped loving him not me and thanks for getting me back to reality!

Kimberlee - posted on 11/01/2012

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Yeah her getting happy might be the saving grace you need. I know that personally I would "want" to "get even" with her , but that would most likely be a super bad way of handling things and make them worse. - Success really is the best revenge. Just do your best to not allow her to affect you and your fiance . Good luck !!!!

Chloe - posted on 11/01/2012

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Yes I actually told her that lol but thanks for confirming it. It is hard because of the really outrageous stuff she came up with. I just thought I wouldn't have to deal with this woman but she's making it so I have to. I will try the not writing the personal stuff though see if maybe that will help. I think the happier she sees him the worse she gets. That was his only child. She has another kid by someone else so he literally lost his world. He would have done anything and DID for his daughter. Even let his pregnant by another guy ex-wife and their daughter move to his house HOLD on him. I think thats where she starts getting jealous. She knows she messed up and regrets it He is a great guy. She is now living with someone she cheated with so we will see how that goes fingers crossed she is happy and forgets about my fiance.

Kimberlee - posted on 11/01/2012

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Chloe Julener - posted 13 minutes ago

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Yeah we don't talk to her it is actually on a private R.I.P. page for their daughter that she writes all this and then someone we know copies and pastes it to us. Just so we know what she is saying. We all have her blocked but she makes reference to our lives so I know she sees some how. I know that I shouldn't care what she writes if I am not even supposed to see it but just knowing the lies she is telling people drives me crazy because we cant say anything back to her.



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Okay , I understand better now. She probably has folks that are not blocked from your stuff reporting back to her . Maybe try and keep the boards bare of personal stuff for awhile? It would bother me that she uses the RIP site the way she does also and it's not the kind of site one would take down , .. Very hard. I don't know what you could possibly do about it though. Sounds like the woman could benefit from some serious therapy.

Chloe - posted on 11/01/2012

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And I only can respond to her when she posts "Anonymous" comments on a blog I have

Which I have done. As far as my fiance sticking up for me he says "Just ignore her because she wont stop" well ignoring her hasn't made her stop she still does it. So what now? I think I just have to learn to not say anything. It's just so hard because their daughter is a part of my life now too even though she has passed and I think the mother don't want me to be like that. I think she thinks I should have nothing to say about her daughter because I never met her but the fact is I am going to marry this girls Dad. She is still a very big part of him. But the real crap only started after I told people she stole off of her own daughters grave. Which is NOT a lie she did and it disgusted me so I wrote about it. Am I even really going to be a step mother No not to a living kid. So this woman shouldn't be calling me stuff like step-mom wannabe and all that. i just guess I need to know HOW to ignore it.

Holly - posted on 11/01/2012

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I agree that on social networking you can block people, i agree that you don't have to answer phone, but if she was texting her fiancee, and fiancee don't reply, this is talking to, not talking with

or if she calls, her fiancee doesn't answer, it goes to VM, and fiancee doesn't return call, this is talking too, not talking with.... if this lady comes to your door, and begins talking to you, and you do not respond, this is talk to, not talking with

Chloe - posted on 11/01/2012

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Yeah we don't talk to her it is actually on a private R.I.P. page for their daughter that she writes all this and then someone we know copies and pastes it to us. Just so we know what she is saying. We all have her blocked but she makes reference to our lives so I know she sees some how. I know that I shouldn't care what she writes if I am not even supposed to see it but just knowing the lies she is telling people drives me crazy because we cant say anything back to her.

Holly - posted on 11/01/2012

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perhaps it's HER talking to them, not mutual talking, that is the way i took it... but i could be wrong.

Holly - posted on 11/01/2012

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if she comes up to you, or calls you, tell her, otherwise leave it alone.... HE needs to be the one to stick up for you if she is coming at you through him.

Chloe - posted on 11/01/2012

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Yeah I met him after their daughter passed. She's already been through 3 men since I have been with him and she promised him that she would make his life hell at their divorce hearing 7 years ago and it was way worse for him and his ex girlfriend before me because the daughter was still alive. I am just wishing she would go away. Should I confront the mother myself without my fiance knowing. Just tell her to stay out of our lives?

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