things I knew before I have baby

Leslie - posted on 10/18/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I'm well prepared parent I raise my two brothers when I was 11 yrs old. I took over as mom and dad because they work and did not want to take care of their children. I gave them baths, go up with them in the night, feed them, take them to the doctors, take them to the movies, library out to lunch when they were older, and they listen to me. Now as teens my parent are trying to raise them and wonder why they don't listen to them. I enjoy the responsibility because I'm ready for my own child.
I moved out of my parents home and I still take care of my brothers along with cooking, cleaning the house, and doing the laundry there before I left. Now my mom wish I never left because I was the best housekeeper there. But I needed to move out the stress was too much.
I know it will be hard to be a mother, I wanted to be one. I been wanted to be a mother since I was sixteen years old. I love children with all my heart and soul. I know it won't be easy, nothing is. If everything was easy there be no point trying.
I know I won't get as much sleep as I get now, but I'll be fine.
Don't listen to other people how to raise your child. My mom and aunt think I need to baptize my child and I say no. She will make her own choice. God my husband don't even believe in god. I'm only taking a month off from work because I work fast food. Supposly mom thinks I'll want take more than that off. I have the next 18 yrs to bond with that children. I don't have the money to take alot of time off from work. I wish she would shut up and be happy that she has a third granddaughter on the way.
Let me raise my child my way whether it is using chores as punishment or not to baptize my child. This is my child not yours.

I been in daycares and been childcare classes at delta college. I know what this going to be like. I will enjoy every second of it. When the child comes and I'm due in five weeks. I wish it would get here I want to hold her so bad.

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Sharon - posted on 10/18/2010

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Sooo - you raised your two brothers because your parents were busy providing a life for all of you WORKING.

But you clearly state that you are only taking a month off because you work fast food and that is all you can afford.

This has to be one of the saddest damned posts I've read in a long damned time. NASTY.

Iridescent - posted on 10/18/2010

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I'm not sure what the purpose of this post is. Don't you think it's at least slightly possible your mom wants you to have a better life than she did? To be able to spend more time with your children than she was able, because of finances and needing to work? I understand your points, but there is always another side. I doubt she wasn't there by choice for her children (including you) and if she could go back to change it now, chances are she would. She can see you being pregnant now and already planning to repeat the same things she sees as mistakes. Time to bond with a newborn, get to know their personality as it develops, that is priceless and you can't get it back.

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Abo - posted on 10/19/2010

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2 things I've learnt from having my own child :1. every moment counts, if you miss something you can never get it back:( 2. take all the help you can get, you'll definitely need it
Congrats and enjoy your baby :-))

Louise - posted on 10/19/2010

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Well Leslie I am glad you are excited about the birth of your baby but I think you have under estimated how tired you will be and emotionally drained. I think to say you will be going back to work after a month is a little optomistic. Your new baby will wake about every 3 hours through the night for at least the first 10 weeks. Sleep deprivation does strange things to your body and mind. So be open minded and take all help that is offered to you. Good luck with the birth and above all enjoy your baby as you never get that time back.

Brandy - posted on 10/18/2010

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first off congrats on the new baby! and its wonderful that you feel prepared and so confident, however it is going to be much harder than i think you realize, especially if you work, now im not saying you cant handle it and im not trying to discourage you its just that all babies are different so you really have no idea what you are truely in for. when jenna was home from the hospital she had collic and she screamed every single day almost 24hrs a day. it didnt matter what i did holding her rocking her walking with her she cried when she ate she even whimpered when she was sleeping and let me tell you it was exhuasting! i was lucky if i got a full 2hrs of sleep a day and this lasted until she was about 7mths old. another thing that you can understand but not really know until you are a mother is that having a baby is the best thing and the worst thing thats ever going to happen to you. you love your baby more than life its self therefore everytime she accomplishes something or feels joy or love you feel it but everytime she hurts or cries its devistating, when you worry about your child getting hurt or anything it doesnt just upset you you actually feel panicked and you have to learn how to control that when they are learning to do things like walking etc... and everything will panic you at first, even if you have taken care of hundreds of babies and children it wont matter because its different with your child, their first time coughing or gagging or vomiting or getting water up their nose or getting sick or a fever or diareha or constipated or even a diaper rash, it will all freak you out and you will have questions and where will you turn? what are you going to do in the middle of the night and you cant make a drs appt and you know its probably not serious enough to go to the hospital and you think it might be this or you know what it is but youre not sure if you should give her whatever? you need your moms advice. you need her to comfort you and help you and let you calm down when needed. it sounds like she cares alot about you and your baby already. shes just doing what moms do right? moms give us advice even if we dont think that we need it they butt in and try to do things the "right" way they have opinions that tick us off and if you think about it once you love your baby and you cry when shes sad and you feel angry when someone hurts her and you take care of her when shes sick and you spend what feels like your whole life, (because once you have her that is where your life begins) taking care of her and she grows up and she thinks she knows whats best even if she does you will still be her mother and you will see her struggle with things and you will wish that you could just make things easier for her and if she would just do this or hear what you have to say and take it seriously then maybe...but she will want to be grown up and making her own decisions and she will always be your baby to you. good luck i hope that everything goes great for you, but try to remember that nobody is perfect and its ok to ask for help because everybody needs a little help when they have their first baby.

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