This might be rude but it's something to think about. Why do people ask for advice when they should talk to their doctors about it? We can give advice but we can't give a definite solution or diagnosis...thoughts?

Michelle - posted on 04/30/2009

I guess the main idea here is "what kind" of advice people are looking for. If it's about handling a certain behavior or breaking a bad habit - going to others with experience can always be a help. Medical issues - always start with a doctor, but if you don't feel right about the answer from the doctor - get a second opinion. Especially if you don't feel comfortable with how the doctor handled your concerns.

Ashley - posted on 04/30/2009

Quoting Amie:

I'm surprised by the tone of anti doctor so many are giving off. I've never had a problem with any of my doctors past or present. My kids doctors oddly enough are the only ones who don't have kids themselves but see so many on a daily basis you bet I'm going to trust what they have to say. Doesn't mean their always right but they do have a lot of experience dealing with all types of kids and situations.
I do agree with the mom's saying if you don't trust your doctor's opinions then find another one. That's just common sense though. Doesn't matter how long it takes find one you trust and are comfortable with.
While as mom's we can help and give support for some situations ultimately when it comes to your child's health you should trust your doctor. If you don't, I'll repeat it, find a new one!

totally agree with you!! i personally dont ask anyone for advice unless its my mom, sister or my doctor. my doctor is one of the best in town and i listen to everything he says. when my son was 2 wks old he was very irritable and everyone kept telling me he was colic. went to the pharmacist they told me to give him oval drops, called telehealth where a registered nurse told me to just put him in a bath and more or less let him cry until he was tired he'd end up falling asleep. i called my drs office and the doctor told me to take him to the children's hospital right away because an irritable baby is not normal. when we got to the emergency room he had a temp of 39.9 he was close to having seizures because his temp was so high. he was admitted immediately, had an IV put in him, had an x-ray, and a spinal tap. come to find out he had severe bacterial meningitis in his brain and spent 2 months in the hospital. so when it comes to a baby's health i do beleive that the best advice is from a professional. when it comes to little things of course other mothers advice is good, see how they do things and what worked for their child hey it might work for others too. but after my experience with my sons health my doctor is the only one i trust!

Michelle - posted on 04/30/2009

Doctors are not perfect and it's always good to hear from other parents that have experience with similar situations or great suggestions. WE as parents always want what is best for our children and don't always agree with the doctor. THIS is WHY we ask for advice from other parents and from our parents and grandparents. It's always nice to hear from someone who has "been there, done that!"

User - posted on 04/29/2009

We have experienced things and we give suggestions.

Karen - posted on 04/29/2009

If I had listened to only doctors I would be dead now..I have been told over and over it is in your head or it is menopause..The last time I had complaints with my stomach and I had complained for 6 months I had a assist in my stomach that was bleeding in me for 6 months..I almost died..Doctors are not god and to take all the medications they tell you is also fatal..

Myroslava - posted on 04/29/2009

I ask other moms for advice from time to time, because i don't trust doctors too much as i don't trust too much allopathic model of medecine, and alot of moms have more experience with home remedies then a medical school trained doctor. Of course, it mostly concerns minor illnesses, and also breastfeeding and feeding a baby in general.

Mel - posted on 04/28/2009

Quoting Amie:

Quoting Melissa:

trust me Amie doctors dont see babies with real health problems they see babies for colds ear infections things like that. they dont know the signs of a more serious problem they put everything down to collic when it comes to my baby now we ring the childrens ward the hospital or call her pedi (we have his mobile and have permission to call him anytime). from there they decide whether we need to bring her in to be looked at or not. nurses are the absolute best people to go to the ones in the childrens hospital because they have the most experience plus the child pedi's and dieticians.

well where you live perhaps this is true but even in what you just said you've admitted that a doctor is handling your daughter and you trust that doctor. A pediatrictian is a doctor, they just specialize in children, still a doctor. It's good that you have one that you can trust and rely on.. as is what I was saying... get a doctor you trust and are comfortable with to take care of your children. If you do not have that then don't go there, find another doctor. It's a simple concept. I wouldn't go to a doctor I didn't trust or was comfortable with or even one I didn't get along with.. why would I take my kids to one where I had issues?

 

Im just reffering to the doctors that do not specialise in children sorry i should have made it more clear. im talking about the ones you make an appintment and you go to  doctors office and they say oh your baby is just a fussy eater mine was too some kids dont eat much. then you keep going to different doctors about 4 times and some tell you your baby has collic and you wait til your daughter is losing weight and can barely stay awake because she is so lacking in energy from not eating and you take her to a childrens hospital and they admit her for 1 and a half months and finally run tests and put in an NG tube for her to feed through.

All i meant was that a normal doctor does not specialise in children they read frm a text book. only other mothers and pedis/child health/child dieticians know whats goign on with a baby and actually take the time to listen. Nurses in the chilldren ward know so much more then even the most experienced doctor

Amie - posted on 04/28/2009

Quoting Melissa:

HEY I agree I love how my day to day doctor treats me and my children. I can go in every day to weigh my son if I like. He will fit me in even if he is booked all day and he takes my opinion about my children very serious.  I do understand you sometimes may be in need of a second opinion. Then you should definately get it.

 

 

Thank you! Doctors are not bad, there are really great ones out there. I just don't get the whole anti doctor messages that seem to be coming out more and more lately, not just here but even where I live. One of my best friends had to go to a few doctors before she found one she was comfortable with to handle her son but she kept going and definitely isn't anti doctor she just didn't "mesh with them" as she put it. =)

Amie - posted on 04/28/2009

Quoting Amber:

. Besides , if your like us, and live out of town were not all so lucky to just be able to drive in whenever we please. Maybe you should think about that...

I'm not sure who your directing your comment at.. I'm assuming the OP... however... if something happened and your child may have something really wrong with them  you're implying that you wouldn't find a way to go in to see the doctor? I hope that's not what you mean.

There are some instantances where this wouldn't be warranted obviously not everything needs to be handled by the doctor but just the way it's worded is odd.

Amie - posted on 04/28/2009

Quoting Melissa:

trust me Amie doctors dont see babies with real health problems they see babies for colds ear infections things like that. they dont know the signs of a more serious problem they put everything down to collic when it comes to my baby now we ring the childrens ward the hospital or call her pedi (we have his mobile and have permission to call him anytime). from there they decide whether we need to bring her in to be looked at or not. nurses are the absolute best people to go to the ones in the childrens hospital because they have the most experience plus the child pedi's and dieticians.

well where you live perhaps this is true but even in what you just said you've admitted that a doctor is handling your daughter and you trust that doctor. A pediatrictian is a doctor, they just specialize in children, still a doctor. It's good that you have one that you can trust and rely on.. as is what I was saying... get a doctor you trust and are comfortable with to take care of your children. If you do not have that then don't go there, find another doctor. It's a simple concept. I wouldn't go to a doctor I didn't trust or was comfortable with or even one I didn't get along with.. why would I take my kids to one where I had issues?

Melody - posted on 04/28/2009

I think asking advice from others who have hands on mommy and daddy experience is a great thing. Alot of times doctors these days are ridiculously cautious when back in the day things weren't so technical and kids were just fine. I mean if it's something really serious of course ask your doctor.

Tegan - posted on 04/28/2009

short and sweet answer.....i agree with somethings you should go to the doc for but seriously if every mum went to the doc for everything it would be impossible to get an appointment even i would be there right now ,,, i think asking questions is a great way to work out if it serious enough to go to the doc .........

Melissa - posted on 04/28/2009

Quoting Amie:

I'm surprised by the tone of anti doctor so many are giving off. I've never had a problem with any of my doctors past or present. My kids doctors oddly enough are the only ones who don't have kids themselves but see so many on a daily basis you bet I'm going to trust what they have to say. Doesn't mean their always right but they do have a lot of experience dealing with all types of kids and situations.
I do agree with the mom's saying if you don't trust your doctor's opinions then find another one. That's just common sense though. Doesn't matter how long it takes find one you trust and are comfortable with.
While as mom's we can help and give support for some situations ultimately when it comes to your child's health you should trust your doctor. If you don't, I'll repeat it, find a new one!

HEY I agree I love how my day to day doctor treats me and my children. I can go in every day to weigh my son if I like. He will fit me in even if he is booked all day and he takes my opinion about my children very serious.  I do understand you sometimes may be in need of a second opinion. Then you should definately get it.

Christine - posted on 04/28/2009

doctors cant give definite solutions because every baby is diffrent that is why we ask other moms advice.not every mom has the same advice but by hearing other moms ways of doing things.we might be able to find the one that suits our child.doctors do not know what is best for youer child.how could they if they only spend 10 min at a time with your child.a doctor can only give you advice on how to do things it does not mean his advice will work.

Amber - posted on 04/28/2009

I agree if its a serious medical condition, petty worries however are better left to mother who have dealt with something like it before. Majority of doctors are men, have they ever had children?! I think not! so why would their "idea" of whats wrong be better than your own instinct. These doctors sit in offices and see 100 patients a day, instead of constantly being around children like these mothers are. Besides , if your like us, and live out of town were not all so lucky to just be able to drive in whenever we please. Maybe you should think about that...

Mel - posted on 04/28/2009

trust me Amie doctors dont see babies with real health problems they see babies for colds ear infections things like that. they dont know the signs of a more serious problem they put everything down to collic when it comes to my baby now we ring the childrens ward the hospital or call her pedi (we have his mobile and have permission to call him anytime). from there they decide whether we need to bring her in to be looked at or not. nurses are the absolute best people to go to the ones in the childrens hospital because they have the most experience plus the child pedi's and dieticians.

Amie - posted on 04/28/2009

I'm surprised by the tone of anti doctor so many are giving off. I've never had a problem with any of my doctors past or present. My kids doctors oddly enough are the only ones who don't have kids themselves but see so many on a daily basis you bet I'm going to trust what they have to say. Doesn't mean their always right but they do have a lot of experience dealing with all types of kids and situations.
I do agree with the mom's saying if you don't trust your doctor's opinions then find another one. That's just common sense though. Doesn't matter how long it takes find one you trust and are comfortable with.
While as mom's we can help and give support for some situations ultimately when it comes to your child's health you should trust your doctor. If you don't, I'll repeat it, find a new one!

Brenda - posted on 04/28/2009

Sometimes, I think people are looking for support from others who have been there and done that. Even if the doctor tells you something, its nice to know you aren't the only one going through something. And sometimes, doctors can only give so much advice because of the restraints in their practice. Doctors are limited to their training and advising people in accordance to it, whereas another mom can encourage and help in ways a doctor can't. There are some problems that should always be taken up with a doctor, but there are others that a doctor has a guideline, and that guideline is just that. All babies/children/mothers don't always fall neatly into the guideline categories, and there are always exceptions, but a doctor cannot discuss those exceptions because he is held in check by his training.

Rebecca - posted on 04/28/2009

Sometimes getting advice from a mother who has been there is more assuring than a doctor's prognosis. Meanwhile they may have already asked their doctor's advice but with any medical professional sometimes they are not all up front or know of individual reactions or things that may have worked.

Kelby - posted on 04/28/2009

because sometimes the idea's doctor's give do not always work for your child, so getting different opinions from people might work for them, like ways to get them to sleep through the night and things like that.

Alexandria - posted on 04/28/2009

Some moms just want support. Especially new moms. Majority of the questions are simple ones. Some do require a MD & usually the other mom's replies, at the end, they'll say talk to your doctor. Other times, the mom has seen the MD & still just want support or confirmation that at least 1 other mom has gone through what they're going through. Little do they know, they'll end up getting at least 100 replies. LOL!

Trish - posted on 04/28/2009

I believe that many techniques used with children (ex. for sleeping at night, listening, etc) are all a trial and error type of thing. So if other mothers share things they have tried, it gives everyone more ideas. Doctors dont have all the answers.

Jennifer - posted on 04/28/2009

I don't think there is a definite solution even when speaking to a doctor. All children are different. Speaking with other moms gives us an opportunity to use different ideas that have worked for their children. What works for one mom may not work for another, but something will. Kids do not come with a manuel.

Jeanne - posted on 04/28/2009

I think because sometimes people just want feed back from people who have gone through similar experiences because they don't want to seem foolish if they do consult a doctor. And sometimes they just need to know they are not alone and that the world is not crashing in around them.

Kate CP - posted on 04/28/2009

Quoting Jennifer:

I would tell anyone who writes into this website to double check the advice that they are given, especially when it comes to medications, herbal medications, and things that seem like "old school" remedies or very new / unheard of treatments. Garlic on the feet for coughing vs spinal manipulation for ear infections. If I give advice to give or not to give a medication, I have looked it up for you on the Internet, and more often than not on the American Academy of Pediatricians web site to verify. I also include the link to the website. I would tell anyone who hates or does not trust their pediatrician to find a new one. You are the advocate for your child. You need to educate yourself regarding their growth and developement. (that would be my response to the mother worrying about their child who is obese). You need to be educated on the medications they can take and not take. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen Motrin dosed for kids under 6 months old.
I like this website. I find myself checking CoM almost every day. I like being able to help others when they are stuggling or going through something that I am now going through for the 4th time. It helps me think like an adult; my major interactions through the day are with a 4 year old, 2-3 year olds and an 11 month old. The CCRN prepared Critical Care nurse in me needs to help.

Okay, I've heard of spinal manipulation for ear infections but I've never heard of putting garlic oil on the feet for a cough. How is that supposed to work?

Andrea - posted on 04/28/2009

I've asked my doctor many things and he never gives me an answer!!

Charlene - posted on 04/28/2009

I like my Docter but our once a year visit is always short and he is quick to prescribe meds. Wanted to put me in for carpal tunnel surgery when I went to him about my wrists I resisted and went for a massage and found out it is tendonitis linked to an old injury. Or he suggested both my son and I get ear tubes (we both have allergies and would suffer ear infections) I researched it online and saw a suggestion of going to a chiropractor for an adjustment, we tried that and it worked. After one adjustment to my son's jaw and ears he has never had another earache, I get mine adjusted twice a year and that keeps it away for me. I saved my son & myself from surgery and possible othr problems by seeking other opinions. This site is for asking for advice and suggestions, we have to take the responses with and open mind and intelligence. Researching things are so important no matter where the advice came from, this site grandma or a docter.

Cindy - posted on 04/28/2009

Doctors are good for medical advice only unless they are moms. I would never ask my doctor about disciplining, breaking the thumb sucking habit, etc, etc. I work with pediatricians and they are really good at medicine, not so good at parenting. So take that for what it's worth.

Tegan - posted on 04/28/2009

Well, different doctors give different advice. So if you only go to one doctor regularly you only get one opinion or the normal run or don't worry. In talking to other mom's we can see that sometimes our gut that something is REALLY wrong might just be, and ways to find out. As well first time mom's need a little encouragement that they are doing fine. My oldest son had some major issues that I was told were normal I went to a group and asked for advice and then went to an ENT and sure enough it wasn't normal. He was really sick and has been 100% better since then!

Tracy - posted on 04/28/2009

Sometimes people may feel it is not an emergency so they shouldn't bother their doctor with something that may be silly and so seek advice of other people who may have similar experiences. Other times it's for reassurance that they are doing ok because they may not get told it often.

Robyn - posted on 04/27/2009

Have you ever taken a small child or baby to a doctors surgery??? They are never on time ... kids hate doctors and wating ... they can;t sit still ... you get frustrated ... they wet their pants ... you're busting to go to the loo ... their routine is a total roight off and it will take 2 days to get over it ... all to ask a question one of your peers may be able to help you with or point you to someone who can!!! Love .. think outside the square!!

Angela - posted on 04/27/2009

I think I agree with most the moms here. Its just nice to get a moms perspective. Plus I,myself do not trust doctors. Our previous doc said my daughter was up to date on shots and she was not! Then I received a letter a few weeks later, stating some other shots she got were recalled because they were not stored at the right temp. So I am not trusting of doctors. I not believe they have my daughters best intrest in site. I think they are more interested in what the drug companies pay them.

Dee - posted on 04/27/2009

That's actually a good question and there is a good answer for it. Of course any medical questions that require a diagnosis, needs to be answered by a medical doctor, but there are many questions that sometimes need the expertise of experienced moms. As long as it's not an issue that requires immediate medical attention, why not check with other moms first. Sometimes talking with other moms can help spark other ideas or questions that might be helpful when talking to your child's doctor as well.

Carys - posted on 04/27/2009

Good point!

I struggled with the conflicting advice I was given by health visitors and doctors following the birth of my firstborn last year. I honestly found the advice and suggestions given by my friends so much more useful than that given by the 'experts' whose children had long since grown up, or who weren't even parents! Theory is ok, but sometimes you just need the practical, and that's where Circle of Mums is handy. If only some mums could keep their comments more helpful than judgmental and bitchy!

Melissa - posted on 04/27/2009

You are so right Jennifer I do find it great however if you need information regarding how other kids were functioning on a medicine because then you get so many views but it is ourjob as a mom to do our best job and to defiantely listen to our peds or find as new one but like I said above its great to ask how other kids did with the same advice.

Just don't take it to litteral or go to your ped again and ask about it just dont be to hastey and stop doctors orders unless of course your child shows allergic signs and then again go to your doctor they will be there when ever you need them

Jennifer - posted on 04/26/2009

I would tell anyone who writes into this website to double check the advice that they are given, especially when it comes to medications, herbal medications, and things that seem like "old school" remedies or very new / unheard of treatments. Garlic on the feet for coughing vs spinal manipulation for ear infections. If I give advice to give or not to give a medication, I have looked it up for you on the Internet, and more often than not on the American Academy of Pediatricians web site to verify. I also include the link to the website. I would tell anyone who hates or does not trust their pediatrician to find a new one. You are the advocate for your child. You need to educate yourself regarding their growth and developement. (that would be my response to the mother worrying about their child who is obese). You need to be educated on the medications they can take and not take. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen Motrin dosed for kids under 6 months old.

I like this website. I find myself checking CoM almost every day. I like being able to help others when they are stuggling or going through something that I am now going through for the 4th time. It helps me think like an adult; my major interactions through the day are with a 4 year old, 2-3 year olds and an 11 month old. The CCRN prepared Critical Care nurse in me needs to help.

Melissa - posted on 04/26/2009

I completely agree with you Christine.. I asked the same question about a week ago. I never got any answers and it is so scary especially with the first time moms, doctors may be able to contribute more then we can, knowwing the baby and having a history. Some doctors I understand not so smart, but then look around and find a new doctor.

Mel - posted on 04/26/2009

cause mothers know more then doctors with regards to babies!! doctors know nothing and try to put everything down to collic, or a baby being a fussy eater so they dont have to do any tests. with mine i took her to 4 doc before i took her to hospital. got her admitted for a month and a half. i think thats why some people come on here because mothers know things that doctors dont or wont reccomend.

Kara - posted on 04/26/2009

Early on in pregnancy you only see the doc once a month.... And when your child reaches a year old you only see the doc once a year. If it's not a life or death situation asking around is way better than asking a male pediatrician with no children of his own.

Sarah - posted on 04/26/2009

...because doctors are human too. They just cannot possibly know everything about everything. I love and trust my family doctor, but he does not know much about child development. Because of this my older son's PDD ( autism spectrum) went undiagnosed until he was 11 years old, and my younger son's verbal apraxia went undiagnosed until he was 2 ( even though I showed concern at 18 months).

When we come to sites like these we are wanting to know basic things, not asking for a 100% positive diagnosis. We want to know if something is normal, if other moms have delt with it, or what area to go looking in for a diagnosis. If we find someone with a similar situation, they may have a solution that we ( or the doctor) had not thought of. I often call my 2 friends who have children with autism and ask them stuff. I also offer them advice if I discover something that might help them...

Christine - posted on 04/26/2009

Oh, let me be more specific to you wonderful ladies. I am referring to a person who came on here asking if their school aged child is obese. No pictures, weight, height were given. Plus, wouldn't that be for a doctor to answer? That's what I was referring to.
I like the fact you can get on here and find other methods mom's use to help with certain situations. However, when it comes to diagnosing certain condition, I think it would be wise to call the doctor.

Anita - posted on 04/26/2009

Quoting Lauren:

I think it depends on the type of advice you are giving or the question that is being asked. Moms look to other moms and want to know what their own experiences have been. Granted not all of us are doctors and to be honest not all things need to be evaluated by one.
To a mother in need, simple words of wisdom and encouragement can mean the world. It is comforting to know that other moms have been through the same thing, that they have found solutions, and they can help you find a solution. I am sure that if the problem is serious enough to need a doctor's point of view, most moms would go that route. It is always nice to know that you are not alone and there are people out there who can help you. That is just my opinion.

I agree with all that was said above:)

The other thing is waiting for half an hour to 1.5 hours to see a doctor with a whinning toddler/ crying baby is very tiring...and u end up seeing them only for 5 minutes. having them tell you something you already know is the killler..errgg..

Chona - posted on 04/26/2009

Because my doctors suck! And most of them don't even have children and aren't in the same situations as I am right now. My doctors never had a preemie and never pumped for 5 months. Its nice to talk to Moms in the same or similar situations with challenges. Its comforting to know that I am not alone.

Beth - posted on 04/26/2009

I think it's encouraging to talk to other moms that may be going through some of the same things are you are.

Meri - posted on 04/26/2009

Personally, I think it is often the difference between getting practical advice from someone who has probably been there before, and getting professional advice from someone who probably is limited in what they can suggest in practical terms for fear of malpractice or whatever. That's why doctors are so quick to run a variety of tests before giving an answer -- understandable. Last time I went to the doctor I got xrays and blood tests and all kinds of lab work prescribed based on my complaints, and ended up with no answers (tests negative) and no real suggestions on where to go from there.



Sometimes you really need a doctor's opinion, but oftentimes you just need to use practical good sense. Sharing our experiences gives us a broader base of "good sense" knowledge.

Clair - posted on 04/26/2009

Circle of moms come around for people to ask and answer questions. Im sure if it was a serious medical problem then any one would take there children to the doctors,

Gifty - posted on 04/26/2009

There's nothing rude abt having ur own opinion, but i think moms feel good abt sharing their problems with other moms and knowing u'r not alone, anyway if ur child is being rude or something u can't take them 2 the doctors 4 that so we all need some advice 4fm poeple who has been through it already.

Trish - posted on 04/26/2009

I am lucky in that I know I can trust and get the best advice from my doctors regarding my girls. However, I know other people who don't have the same trust/faith in their doctor. They often like to ask for advice or assistance before seeing their doctor to get other reactions to give them an insight into what other questions they maybe should be asking.



I agree that often times it's for reassurance as well.

Belinda - posted on 04/26/2009

Simply put, because Doctor's don't know everything. Despite their degrees they just don't. How many people do you know with degrees that know everything? You know what you've learned from books not to mention it is a business, and business is not always whats best for YOUR baby.

Autumn - posted on 04/26/2009

Well I don't know about any one else' but I can't afford to take my kids to the doctor for every little thing. There have been many times that I have taken them to the doctor and have been told; there is nothing the doctor can do for them and they don't even have any suggestions that any different than what I could have gotten from my mom or a friend, and they didn't charge me a co-pay. Be sides believe it or not some doctors give Prescriptions for things that could be taken care of over the counter, and they will give you their personal options on subjects not just professional. If some one on here asks about something that needs to be taken care of by a doctor then that is the advice that someone who has experienced it should give them. Not everything works for everyone, so it is good to find out what works for someone else that you have not tried or may not have thought of, if you still have Questions than you should go to your doctor. Hopefully they will give you the answer you need. I for one am in need of advice sometimes especially with my teenagers, i have never had teenagers before and need the imput from people who have experience with their kids whether they had sucess or disaster. what did work with their child might help me.