time to my self

Amanda - posted on 11/17/2009 ( 27 moms have responded )

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i have been taking care of my 10month son who is teething really bad by the way. is it crazy to just want to hand him off and go have some alone time. i feel bad everytime i want to leave him at home to get a way for awhile. what do you think??

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Emma - posted on 11/25/2009

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Amanda the secret to being a good mom is knowing when to leave the room and take time out - the moms that dont may be the ones that become stressed and find it harder to cope and then not take care of themselves or their children. xx

Evelyn - posted on 11/22/2009

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As a single mom and a grandma of 3, I know first hand that the only way to keep your sanity is to have a little down time. Even if all you do is walk around the block for a little bit, or soak in a bubble bath or what ever you feel like doing, you must have a few minutes to reflect on your daily perspective and listen to our inner self unwind a bit. It is hard to start, but once you have done it a few times and realize that it does help you cope better, with your kids, your husband and life in general, you won't feel bad about it at all. It will seem only natural to you. Sorry your little guy is having the teething problem. Thank goodness that doesn't last forever. It just seems like it.

Lisa - posted on 11/18/2009

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My friends and I joined a gym for girl time and exercise, I think its great! Time away is sometimes the best thing for you and your child because when you come back you will feel refreshed and be able to give all your attention to your little one.

Ryann - posted on 11/18/2009

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Girl! Go and get you some shut-eye, a mani/pedi, a good book, SOMETHING! Take it from me, I gave up my life, my career, my hobbies, everything that defined who I was... BIGGEST mistake of my life! (Not my child... don't misquote me, lol!) Don't get me wrong, my son is my life and I'm blessed to have him, but the hardest thing that I had to learn was to NOT feel guilty for wanting something or some time for myself. This almost destroyed my marriage! Seriously! I had to get back to being and feeling like a WOMAN and a WIFE... not just a Mommy! So no, don't feel guilty for handing him off to someone for a little while! After dealing with the poo, vomit, teething, colicky, screaming incessantly and sometimes joining in times.. you need a little time to, well, if nothing else, recharge to join the battle again!! Take care and good luck to you!

Kelley - posted on 11/18/2009

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I need to remind myself that I need time alone. Every mom does, and those of us that are lucky to have others around need to take advantage of that. I try to hang out with a girlfriend twice a month. Sometimes it is only an hour, but it is an hour that I need. I used Ora Gel and Tylenol constantly when Bryce was teething. He never liked the cold washcloth. I did use a cold teething ring.

Cindy - posted on 11/18/2009

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you're not a bad mom. Mommys need breaks too, that's why there are daddys.



My Hubby and I each get a time out day/night. There is one day a week that one of us just goes out. Any time out is good. Going to get groceries, out for a coffee with friends, doesn't matter. We are a team and we step up to the plate for each other.



When hubby is out of town, I have family that are willing to spend time with the kids while I do what I need to do.



So, in a nut shell. You're frustrated - it's normal. You need a TO, take it.



**If you can't find immediate help and you are at wits end, then put baby in his crib, shut the door. leave your home and sit on your step. Drink a coffee, have a smoke, just breathe deep. But take a few minutes to collect yourself. Then go back inside.**



Just my advice.

Natalie - posted on 11/18/2009

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You have every right to want some time to yourself.My girls are 9months and 21 months and Im only just trying to take some time out for me!Honestly we all need,as we're not just mums,we are women as well!If you worked out of the home you would get breaks but at home you dont,so i really wouldnt feel bad!

Helen - posted on 11/18/2009

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Amanda, please don't feel bad. We all need time to ourselves, even if it's just to rest or have a coffee without one ear pricked for cries or to have a meal that's still hot when you eat it! I had post natal depression after I had my eldest and learned that no-one is a perfect mum - everyone needs help. So if someone (partner, friend, family member) can look after your son, then let them. They will love to help and you get some essential time off. Whether you do something special or go for a coffee or just have some quiet time, it reminds you that you are a person with needs too and will enable you to cope better with your son when he really needs you. On the subject of teething, have you tried homeopathic teething powders, as we found they worked wonderfully with both of ours to calm and soothe them when teething, without any risk of nasty medicine/chemical side-effects.
Enjoy your time out - it will refresh you and help you enjoy your son when you're with him.
Hope it all settles down for you soon

[deleted account]

I think most mothers feel this way from time to time, you shouldn't feel bad. You just need a break, when my brother was a baby he was very unwell, and would scream for hours on end, my parents used to take shifts of 2 hrs each with him, any more was to much, in your 2 hrs off you could do anything you wanted, which usually included going out even if it was just for 5 minuets. When I need a break I have a shower, my son plays on the bathroom floor with his bath toys, and he is happy cause he can see me, and I am happy because I can have a break and do something for me.

Lashan - posted on 11/18/2009

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amanda, amanda...you are not wrong at all. As a mother, you are still a human and will require quiet time. We all know that you love your son but in order to love him and still care for him you will need some time alone. I have a 5yr old and if i can't get at least 5mins to myslef per day i ready to scream my head off..lol..literally

Deborah - posted on 11/18/2009

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We all need time to refresh our self s to be able to deal with the ups and downs on taking care of a baby....you should plan your time for your self this way it will help you cope with some of the difficulties on dealing with a baby who is teething....have some one come in once a week to give you your much needed alone time...this does help both of you..you get a quick pick me up and your baby gets all of you again when you get back refreshed...hope this helps

Christy - posted on 11/18/2009

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Quoting amanda:

time to my self

i have been taking care of my 10month son who is teething really bad by the way. is it crazy to just want to hand him off and go have some alone time. i feel bad everytime i want to leave him at home to get a way for awhile. what do you think??


It is perfectly normal to want time for yourself.  As a stay at home mom of 2 kids (4yrs & 21mths), there are days that I want to pull my hair out because they are driving me crazy.  Other mom friends that I have have told me that getting away and having time for yourself help you to be a better mom.  It is so true.  I have even gone away for a couple of weekends with girlfriends and I come back destressed and refreshed.  It makes it easier to not lose your temper or get frustrated when your children are testing you.  Do NOT feel bad.  Get out and do something for yourself.  It also helps your child to learn that there are other people that can take care of them time to time.  Hope this helps.



Christy Strater

Karla - posted on 11/18/2009

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I think this is very normal. Just because you feel the need to have alone time without your baby does not mean you love your baby any less. Everyone need some time alone to take a break. You would really be doing both the baby and yourself a favor. It's very important to have these moments because if you don't and lose control of your sanity, you may do something you'll regret. so IT IS OKAY!

Megan - posted on 11/18/2009

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I agree with these women! From a mother who suffered from mild post partum, PLEASE take time for yourself! A happy mom does make for a happy baby! (and don't forget about dad!)

Pat - posted on 11/17/2009

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The only way to stay sane is to have a few hours to yourself at least once a week and more if you can manage. The guilt is amazing isn't it? And so unexpected but I feel it every time I leave the house still after being a mother for 9 years. Your son also needs time away from you to develop his social skills and build a bond with someone other than Mommy. Plan something fun or relaxing. Just getting a haircut and style made me feel ten times better and I came home feeling like I could handle anything the baby put out there that night. Ha Ha. Give yourself a break on the guilt issue and try to have fun or SLEEP during your time away.

Lydia - posted on 11/17/2009

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I think youd be crazy if you never wanted any time to yourself - to me thats just a natural feeling and we all need a little. Find a way to get some - its fantastic for recharging the batteries and coming back fresh for some more time with bubba :)

Jessica - posted on 11/17/2009

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You deserve some time to yourself and you shouldn't feel bad letting someone else take care of him for some time to yourself. The baby orajel, baby tylenol, and a wet washcloth will help with the teething. Sometimes being around new people excite the child and will take their mind off of the teething pain.

Alison - posted on 11/17/2009

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Do not feel bad at all. The best way to be a good mother is to take care of yourself too!! Even if it is a 10 minute drive to get yourself a fountain soda. I think you probably need a little more time than you really allow yourself. No worries girl. Go to the movies with a friend. Do something where your mind won't wander onto the baby as much. Just make sure you put him in good hands. You will be feeling better in no time!!

Wanita (Wendy) - posted on 11/17/2009

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When you get stressed your baby can feel that stress also. So if you need a break from the baby, guess what, the baby probably needs a break from you too. It's all part of the growing process. We all have good days and bad days, and when we realize that our bad days are affecting us, we have the ability to change that by making a choice to take control, walk away, take a break and come back fresh. When you return with a fresh face, baby will respond to your improved spirit. Teething is hard on both of you.

Heidi - posted on 11/17/2009

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GO GO GO, everyone needs some time alone, I tell my 5 year old that mommy needs a time out, I can not even go to bathroom with out one of them coming in for somthing. I take my time at night, like now, 4 kids in bed and it is amost 1:30 am and I am watching some tv and catching up on facebook

Kristin - posted on 11/17/2009

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Don't worry...sometimes I feel the same way with my 6 month old son. You should not feel bad. Just think of it this way...when you come back from your alone time, you will feel refreshed and you can get back to being a good mommy.

Tracy - posted on 11/17/2009

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It is normal to feel bad, I still do every time... but you have to take the time for yourself or else you will go insane! enjoy the breaks when you get them, and try to do something relaxing or that will keep your mind busy so you wont feel so bad, even if it is just going to the store alone. The smile and greeting that you get when you return home makes it worth it.

Tasia - posted on 11/17/2009

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Its not crazy at all! We all need our ME time. Even more so during teething time. Go shopping or just read a book alone. It's good for the soul!

CJ - posted on 11/17/2009

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if ya don't take care of yourself it will be much harder to take care of your baby!

[deleted account]

A good mommy is a happy mommy! Every mom needs time to herself every now and then, even if it's just to rest your ears! Needing a break from your child(ren) does NOT mean you love them any less! It means you will be better able to give them 100% when you return! Go get a pedicure! Or an ice cream cone! Or go to the library and pick out a good book! You will feel more relaxed and you'll be able to cope better with the difficulties and enjoy the rewards of motherhood!

Ashley - posted on 11/17/2009

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absolutely not! being a mom is a hard job and you definetly need some time to yourself. don't feel bad at all- hang in there:)

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