****TIPS****~PLEASE READ~

Katherine - posted on 05/11/2010 ( 27 moms have responded )

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There is a lot of important information contained in this thread so take the time to read over as it will give you a good understanding of the community standards and policies.



Please be respectful of others' opinions, even when you disagree. If any of the following happen to you, then you may flag the offending post as inappropriate.



1. Slurs, stereotyping, or hate speech.

2. Threats or personal attacks.

3. Others posting the same thing again and again within the same group or across multiple groups.

4. Advertisements and solicitations.



Please note: Moderators can now see who flags and their reason for doing so. Do not flag just because someone’s opinion differs to yours, in such a large forum not everyone will agree, we are here to share our experience and advice. We will not tolerate unnecessary and pointless flagging. Members who continue to flag gratuitously will be blocked from contributing to this community.



Threads will be locked if....

Debate becomes argument

The thread has been up for a substantial amount of time and the original post has been answered or

The thread has gone completely off topic



Please read the guidelines found in the folder at the top of the page for more information on the community policies as posts and threads will be deleted if these guidelines are not abided by.



There is a BLOCK USER OPTION now - For those of you getting unwanted PM's. Simply go to the right of the person's post, and click on block user. That will prevent the person from PM ing you, seeing your profile and contacting you in any way.



Everyone is welcome to use the welcome page to promote their communities! But no solicitations please :)



*****Zero Tolerance Policy*** Posting Ads & Solicitations- There are designated areas on COM for ads and solicitations concerning your business. Please refrain from posting solicitations on the main page, as they will be deleted.



You can choose the "Entrepreneur' option (click the ' house' icon under your picture on your COM profile) to promote your business in the COM 'store' section.

If an ad or solicitation is posted ANYWHERE on this community, whether it be in the forum, the links, the videos etc., you WILL be blocked from posting in this forum. No friendly letters, no directions to where to post your ads, no more chances.



One - just ONE ad or solicitation posting WILL result in revocation of posting privileges with no further warnings being issued. This applies to any and all members, regardless of 'how long' or "how often' they are on CoM.



There is a fee for advertising on this site - there is NO FREE ADVERTISING on CoM.



Here are some tips that will help us all communicate with and help each other in a more productive fashion.



When posting a new topic:

-- When you are posting a question, or looking for support and advice, please include ALL pertinent information in your original post. Sometimes, the responses that you get may not be what you were looking for, but it's due to the respondents not having the full picture.

-- If, after posting your original query, you realize that you left something out, you can go back and edit your original post and add in that information. It is better to do this than to just put the new information in a comment in the comments thread, where it is very likely to be missed.



When responding to a thread:

- Please be respectful, keeping in mind that we may not know the full picture. Asking a question is always better than assuming.

- Please read the original post in its entirety, and carefully. Oftentimes we will see posters who will see one part of the post, and go off on a rant about it, failing to realize that there is more information in the rest of the post that explains things. Before responding, read the post well (read it twice, even) to make sure that you are not jumping to any particular conclusions.



CoM is a great place to get advice from fellow moms, however.......



There are certain controversial topics that are discussed on this forum quite frequently. ie: when to start cereal / solids, what to give for reflux, what to do about rashes,, circumcision, breastfeeding, constipation, failure to thrive, eczema, fever, etc.... you name it, we have questions about it.



The one thing that I want to remind moms of is:



No matter what kind of advice you may receive from CoM forums...it is ALWAYS best to CHECK WITH YOUR CHILD'S DOCTOR FIRST.



We have wonderful, caring moms that always mean to help as best they can, but, as wonderful as they are, they are not medical professionals.



Please consult your child's doctor before implementing any advice you have gathered from the CoM forums.



Here’s some info for new members or those of you who are new to the internet…



Internet etiquette or netiquette guides us in proper behavior on the Internet. There are widely accepted rules of behavior to follow when you're online. It is very important to learn and follow these rules.



As a newbie (someone new to the Internet) you do not want to venture into cyberspace until you are familiar with the acceptable rules of Internet behavior. There are a few tips that can help you feel more comfortable with the new situations cyberspace will throw at you. With a little practice you can become a responsible internet user.



Here are some things to remember anytime you are online:



*Do unto others, as you'd have others do unto you. Be polite and courteous at all times. Remember that you're not communicating with a computer screen, but with a human being who has thoughts and feelings just like you. So, always think of the person on the receiving end of your messages.



* Do not TYPE ALL IN CAPITAL LETTERS for emphasis. IT LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE SHOUTING.



*Remember that the written word is hard to interpret. When you speak to someone, that person can hear the tone of your voice. If they can see you, they can take visual clues from your face and body to better understand your meaning. All of this is lost in text, and sometimes responses can come across as mean or rude, even when you did not intend them this way. This is the reason some people use emoticons (visual clues) in their e-mails, it saves a lot of confusion.



* Be universal. This is an international site with mothers from all over the planet with different, cultures and religions.



*Be brief whenever possible. No one wants to read through a lot of unnecessary information.



* Don't flame. Do not send rude or offensive postings. It's bad manners and can get seriously out of hand (flame wars). So don't flame others and if you are flamed, do not respond: .



* Make a good impression. Remember that the written word is the only way you can represent yourself online, so spelling and grammar count. If you are going to be writing a large amount of text for other people to see, make sure you break it up using paragraphs, it will make it easier on the eye for those that will read it.



*Be patient with newcomers. Once you have become an Internet expert, it is easy to forget that you started out as a newbie too. Learning the rules of cyberspace is much like learning a new language; it takes practice, and includes making mistakes. So if you come across someone else's mistakes on the net, don't put them down, just politely point them in the right direction for guidance.



* Be careful sharing too much personal information on the internet ,



* Please be aware of posting naked photo's of your children on circle of moms , this is an open site where anyone can enter and view your pictures .













Research:





Anyone who wants to do any kind of research on CoM whether it be polls, statistics, class debates, college studies etc... You MUST get permission. To do this please e-mail: herna@circleofmoms.com.





When posting a new topic:





-- When you are posting a question, or looking for support and advice, please include ALL pertinent information in your original post. Sometimes, the responses that you get may not be what you were looking for, but it's due to the respondents not having the full picture.

-- If, after posting your original query, you realize that you left something out, you can go back and edit your original post and add in that information. It is better to do this than to just put the new information in a comment in the comments thread, where it is very likely to be missed. When responding to a thread:

- Please be respectful, keeping in mind that we may not know the full picture. Asking a question is always better than assuming.

- Please read the original post in its entirety, and carefully. Oftentimes we will see posters who will see one part of the post, and go off on a rant about it, failing to realize that there is more information in the rest of the post that explains things. Before responding, read the post well (read it twice, even) to make sure that you are not jumping to any particular conclusions.





Some help getting started:



COM is a great site that is made up of many smaller dedicated communities that deal with certain topics and issues ranging from breastfeeding , communities to vent , debating , sex and relationships , politics , religion even tattoo mummas .



To get you started and on your way to finding your perfect community here is a short list of communities and links .



For those mothers who love a good , passionate debate on current events and parenting styles we have a wonderful debate community where you are free to express your opinions .



http://www.circleofmoms.com/debating-mum...



For mothers who need a place to vent their every day frustrations :

http://www.circleofmoms.com/e_Y_13774



For a safe and a understanding place to discuss sex and relationship issues :

http://www.circleofmoms.com/sex-and-rela...



If you have an interest in politics :

http://www.circleofmoms.com/political-de...



for mothers who are looking for positive solution's to discipline :



http://www.circleofmoms.com/e_Y_13391



for mothers interested in discussing their love for tattoos and piercings :

http://www.circleofmoms.com/ink-and-stee...



If you would like to browse the communities simply click on this link : http://www.circleofmoms.com/groups.php?t...



Dr Sears - Some great parenting advice for all areas

http://www.askdrsears.com/



Toddler Tantrums

http://parenting.kaboose.com/age-and-sta...



Toilet Training

http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/t...



Living with Teenagers

http://www.parentlink.act.gov.au/parenti...



http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/pare...



http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2...



Raising children -

http://raisingchildren.net.au/



How to get children to eat

http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/...



Dealing with negative behaviours

http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/...



Activities ideas to keep those little ones busy



http://familyfitness.about.com/od/waysto...



http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/parentin...



http://www.atozkidsstuff.com/rainy.html



http://www.quickcraftonline.com/



http://fun.familyeducation.com/hobbies-a...



http://singleparents.about.com/od/having...







If you cannot find one with your interests in mind then please feel free to create your own!!



Enjoy circle of mum's , i hope to see you all around , posting soon .









Hopefully these tips will help us all communicate with and help each other in a more productive fashion!





Edit to add a blip about personal attacks: Please familiarize yourself with this, as personal attacks have a zero tolerance policy on CoM's. You will get a formal Admin warning if anyone see's an attack, either the moderators or myself. There have been a lot of flame wars going on, and belittling. There has also been people "ganging up" on other members.



****Zero Tolerance****



Personal Attack: Making of an abusive remark instead of providing evidence when examining another person's claims or comments.





An ad hominem (Latin: "to the man"), also known as argumentum ad hominem, is an attempt to link the validity of a premise to a characteristic or belief of the person advocating the premise.[1] The ad hominem is a classic logical fallacy,[2] but it is not always fallacious. For in some instances, questions of personal conduct, character, motives, etc., are legitimate and relevant to the issue.[3]



In other words:appealing to feelings or prejudices rather than intellect.







Ad hominem abuse (also called personal abuse or personal attacks) usually involves insulting or belittling one's opponent in order to invalidate his or her argument, but can also involve pointing out factual but ostensible character flaws or actions which are irrelevant to the opponent's argument. This tactic is logically fallacious because insults and even true negative facts about the opponent's personal character have nothing to do with the logical merits of the opponent's arguments or assertions.



Examples:



* "You can't believe Jack when he says the proposed policy would help the economy. He doesn't even have a job."

* "Candidate Jane's proposal about zoning is ridiculous. She was caught cheating on her taxes in 2003."



[edit] Ad hominem circumstantial



Ad hominem circumstantial points out that someone is in circumstances such that he is disposed to take a particular position. Ad hominem circumstantial constitutes an attack on the bias of a source. This is fallacious because a disposition to make a certain argument does not make the argument false; this overlaps with the genetic fallacy (an argument that a claim is incorrect due to its source).[citation needed]



Where the source taking a position seeks to convince us by a claim of authority, or personal observation, observation of their circumstances may reduce the evidentiary weight of the claims, sometimes to zero.[4]



Examples:



Mandy Rice-Davies's famous testimony during the Profumo Affair, "Well, he would [say that], wouldn't he?", is an example of a valid circumstantial argument. Her point was that since a man in a prominent position, accused of an affair with a callgirl, would deny the claim whether it was true or false, his denial, in itself, carries little evidential weight against the claim of an affair. Note, however, that this argument is valid only insofar as it devalues the denial; it does not bolster the original claim. To construe evidentiary invalidation of the denial as evidentiary validation of the original claim is fallacious (on several different bases, including that of argumentum ad hominem); however likely the man in question would be to deny an affair that did in fact happen, he could only be more likely to deny an affair that never did.

[edit] Ad hominem tu quoque

Main article: Tu quoque



Ad hominem tu quoque (lit: "You too!") refers to a claim that the source making the argument has spoken or acted in a way inconsistent with the argument. In particular, if Source A criticizes the actions of Source B, a tu quoque response is that Source A has acted in the same way. This argument is fallacious because it does not disprove the argument; if the premise is true then Source A may be a hypocrite, but this does not make the statement less credible from a logical perspective. Indeed, Source A may be in a position to provide personal testimony to support the argument.



For example, a father may tell his son not to start smoking as he will regret it when he is older, and the son may point out that his father is or was a smoker. This does not alter the fact that his son may regret smoking when he is older, and the fact his father was a smoker means he can talk from a position of experience.

[edit] Guilt by association

Main article: Association fallacy



Guilt by association can sometimes also be a type of ad hominem fallacy, if the argument attacks a source because of the similarity between the views of someone making an argument and other proponents of the argument.[citation needed]



This form of the argument is as follows:



Source A makes claim B.

Group C also makes claim B.

Therefore, source A is a member of group C.



[edit] Inverse ad hominem



An inverse ad hominem argument praises a source in order to add support for that source's argument or claim.[citation needed] A fallacious inverse ad hominem argument may go something like this:



"That man was smartly-dressed and charming, so I'll accept his argument that I should vote for him."



As with regular ad hominem arguments, not all cases of inverse ad hominem are fallacious. Consider the following:



"Elizabeth has never told a lie in her entire life, and she says she saw him take the bag. She must be telling the truth."



Here the arguer is not suggesting we accept Elizabeth's argument, but her testimony. Her being an honest person is relevant to the truth of the conclusion (that he took the bag), just as her having bad eyesight (a regular case of ad hominem) would give reason not to believe her. However, the last part of the argument is false even if the premise is true, since having never told a lie before does not absolutely guarantee that she isn't now.



Appeal to authority is a type of inverse ad hominem argument.

[edit] Common misconceptions



Gratuitous verbal abuse or "name-calling" itself is not an ad hominem or a logical fallacy.[5][6][7][8][9]



This is not to be confused with a true fallacy, which would be "X is idiotically ignorant [of politics], so why should we listen to him now?"

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27 Comments

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Kathy - posted on 06/13/2014

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Hi my name is Kathy. My grandson Kory just join the Navy a week ago Wednesday. I miss him so much all I do is cry. I know he will be alright but I can't use to not not seeing him. Am I the only one who feels that way?

Cristina Helena De Araujo - posted on 06/11/2014

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Hi Josephine d lacao, are you also single mom? I'm trying to get to know others single moms like me. Most of my friends are single and no kids.

Josephine D - posted on 04/23/2014

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Thanks for joining me here im looking forward to taking more info about being a mom ....thank you very much and im josephine hi every mome like me

Christine - posted on 12/31/2012

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Thank you for the info ,but im still learning how to manage my post and circles i started any suggestion for me even though you have given some

thank you ,
Christine

Katherine - posted on 09/18/2012

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Keshia, the moderators permission is not enough. She should know this. It is up to CoM. Please contact sasha@circleofmoms.com. Thanks. Any other questions please message me directly.

Keshia - posted on 09/07/2011

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I'm confused on where I need to post the inquiry, so that I won't be blocked even if I have the moderator's permission.

Keshia - posted on 09/07/2011

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Hello, I obtained permission from the moderator of The Military Spouse Circle of Moms to post an inquiry for participants in some research I'm conducting. Is that the incorrect way to obtain permission to post an inquiry?

Cindy - posted on 09/06/2011

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Ok, Im not really sure where or who to ask this question to, and Im sorry if anyone gets upset for me asking this in this thread, but Im wondering if anyone here can answer my question about my childs profile ......how do I delete the father from his page? I already clicked 'remove', but it still shows him there. Is there any way that I can remove him completely and add someone else? Also how do I edit other family members on there?

Thanks,
♥ Cindy

Katherine - posted on 11/19/2010

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I will check on that Brittany. Or you can search for it in My Communities.

Debbie - posted on 06/21/2010

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oops, I just posted a question on the moms that are teachers community before I read this... It isn't research as such, I need opinions from uk mums about sats exams for a homework assignment - is that ok?

Katherine - posted on 05/23/2010

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BTW: NOT the polls you see here on CoM. Ones, that you would want to do for research purposes.

Keshia - posted on 05/20/2010

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Thanks for the information! I was wondering how to go about doing something like that and ironically, you've provided the info I needed!
Thanks!

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