To all you home birthin' moms...

Kate CP - posted on 07/02/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I have a dilemma. My husband and I are going to start TTC in August and I'm trying to decide on a home birth or not. I would *love* to have a home birth, but I also love my OBGYN. He's an awesome doctor! He's very open and honest with me, gentle (a real plus!), and encouraging. He tells me everything before he does it and is just...a great doc. I wish I could have him deliver my baby at home! I don't know if I should give up the good doctor I know I have now for another midwife that I may not get on with. I had a midwife part way through my first pregnancy and she was just awful. Very strict and didn't believe me when I said I was puking 3-6 times a day. After I had lost 15 pounds by my second trimester she finally went "Oh, you really do need the zofran" and I found my doctor. I'm so stuck. Home birth or the doctor that I know and trust?

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Lorraine - posted on 07/03/2009

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Quoting Kate:

Well I've just encountered a new obstacle: my husband. Apparently he's dead set against a home birth and is very cynical about a birthing center.

I hated birthing in the hospital. The nurses kept pushing me to get an epidural but I never did. They made me stay in the bed with a uterine and fetal monitor attached to my baby's head. They broke my water (that HURT) and I had to birth flat on my back with my legs in the air. All things considered, it was a great hospital birthing experience. But I want something much less invasive. And now I have to fight my husband about it, too. Great.



what about finding a better hospital? I know here our hospital has a birthing center in it and the doctors dont even come in the room if you dont want them there, it can be done all with midwives.  I am sure you have done all the research your self and know that sometimes breaking the water is nesecery and a midwife will do it to if she sees the need for it to be done. Ultimately i think it is your body your choice and since you are TTC in aug that leaves some time for you to educate your husband on all the options. maybe he will change his mind

Lorraine - posted on 07/03/2009

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Quoting Bethany:



Quoting Amanda :




Quoting Kate:





Quoting Amanda :

home birth can be risky even in a normal pregnancy while a hospital can seem invasive.









For low-risk moms, home births are SAFER than hospital births.  It is not risky, not anymore so than birth ever is.  Every study has proven this, and home birth with midwives is extremely common in Europe.  It is just a myth/US perception that home births are "risky" but for most moms they just are not.













notice how i put even in normal pregnancy. things can go wrong at the end even in a normal low risk pregnancy and een if you are 10 min away from a hospital that 10 minutes could make the diference in a life or death situation. now the chances of something going terribly wrong in a low risk pregnancy is slim but the fact remains that it can happen. would you rather be 10-15 min away from a hospital plus the time to park, get through the doors and into emerg and have to wait for them to bring blood, or what ever it is they have to do. if you are in a hosptial allready then it is easier to rush you to OR if that need be the case. A few minutes could make the difernce in saving the life of you and your child.









Just have to jump in here...  Having drug interventions at a hospital raises the risk involved in a low-risk pregnancy.  As soon as you start pumping chemicals into your body, the chances that there will be a complication or fetal distress jumps up dramatically.  I've talked to so many women who've been induced, then an epi, then the baby's heartrate drops and they have to have an "emergency" cesarean.  But the emergency was caused by the hospital in the first place.  The problem with hospitals in childbirth is that they're geared toward intervention, even when the mom doesn't need it.  A homebirth with a good midwife is much safer for a normal, healthy pregnancy.





have you ever heard of a birthing plan? you can give birth in a hospital and use a midwife who have hospital rights you know. and if you put in your plan no medical intervention unless a life/death situation and no drugs to be administerd the hospital has the legal right to listen.



If you are a strong enough willed women to not give into drugs just because they are there than it is better in a hospital. hospitals are not the most comfortable but they are safer just because the options are there if anything should go terribly wrong. thats all i was saying. I think the idea of a home birth is a wonderful idea but at what cost?



and with the OP kate, she has mention an immune issue and for her it may be better to have her baby at home with well trained mid wives there to assist.

Kate CP - posted on 07/03/2009

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Well I've just encountered a new obstacle: my husband. Apparently he's dead set against a home birth and is very cynical about a birthing center.

I hated birthing in the hospital. The nurses kept pushing me to get an epidural but I never did. They made me stay in the bed with a uterine and fetal monitor attached to my baby's head. They broke my water (that HURT) and I had to birth flat on my back with my legs in the air. All things considered, it was a great hospital birthing experience. But I want something much less invasive. And now I have to fight my husband about it, too. Great.

Bethany - posted on 07/03/2009

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Quoting Amanda :



Quoting Kate:




Quoting Amanda :

home birth can be risky even in a normal pregnancy while a hospital can seem invasive.







For low-risk moms, home births are SAFER than hospital births.  It is not risky, not anymore so than birth ever is.  Every study has proven this, and home birth with midwives is extremely common in Europe.  It is just a myth/US perception that home births are "risky" but for most moms they just are not.










notice how i put even in normal pregnancy. things can go wrong at the end even in a normal low risk pregnancy and een if you are 10 min away from a hospital that 10 minutes could make the diference in a life or death situation. now the chances of something going terribly wrong in a low risk pregnancy is slim but the fact remains that it can happen. would you rather be 10-15 min away from a hospital plus the time to park, get through the doors and into emerg and have to wait for them to bring blood, or what ever it is they have to do. if you are in a hosptial allready then it is easier to rush you to OR if that need be the case. A few minutes could make the difernce in saving the life of you and your child.





Just have to jump in here...  Having drug interventions at a hospital raises the risk involved in a low-risk pregnancy.  As soon as you start pumping chemicals into your body, the chances that there will be a complication or fetal distress jumps up dramatically.  I've talked to so many women who've been induced, then an epi, then the baby's heartrate drops and they have to have an "emergency" cesarean.  But the emergency was caused by the hospital in the first place.  The problem with hospitals in childbirth is that they're geared toward intervention, even when the mom doesn't need it.  A homebirth with a good midwife is much safer for a normal, healthy pregnancy.

Kate CP - posted on 07/03/2009

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The idea of birthing at home doesn't scare me. In my case it would be a lot safer for me because I have an immune deficiency and hospitals are FILTHY. No, my conundrum is do I stick with what I know and trust and birth in the hospital (again) or do I try a midwife that I don't know but could birth at home? I so rarely have relationships like this with a doctor and I want to continue to have him as my physician. I'm also really afraid that he'll "fire me" as a patient if I talk to him about finding a midwife and birthing at home. *sigh* I just don't know what to choose. :/

Lorraine - posted on 07/02/2009

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Quoting Kate:



Quoting Amanda :

home birth can be risky even in a normal pregnancy while a hospital can seem invasive.





For low-risk moms, home births are SAFER than hospital births.  It is not risky, not anymore so than birth ever is.  Every study has proven this, and home birth with midwives is extremely common in Europe.  It is just a myth/US perception that home births are "risky" but for most moms they just are not.






notice how i put even in normal pregnancy. things can go wrong at the end even in a normal low risk pregnancy and een if you are 10 min away from a hospital that 10 minutes could make the diference in a life or death situation. now the chances of something going terribly wrong in a low risk pregnancy is slim but the fact remains that it can happen. would you rather be 10-15 min away from a hospital plus the time to park, get through the doors and into emerg and have to wait for them to bring blood, or what ever it is they have to do. if you are in a hosptial allready then it is easier to rush you to OR if that need be the case. A few minutes could make the difernce in saving the life of you and your child.

Lorraine - posted on 07/02/2009

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Quoting Kate:



Quoting Amanda :

home birth can be risky even in a normal pregnancy while a hospital can seem invasive. why not go in between and opt for a birthing center. most major cities have them. if you are not familier with them you should go in for a visit and check it out.





Wow. I feel like a moron. That would be the best of both worlds. I can't believe that didn't hit me before now. Duh! 






 






Thank you. :)






umm ok....you asked

Kate - posted on 07/02/2009

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Quoting Amanda :

home birth can be risky even in a normal pregnancy while a hospital can seem invasive.


For low-risk moms, home births are SAFER than hospital births.  It is not risky, not anymore so than birth ever is.  Every study has proven this, and home birth with midwives is extremely common in Europe.  It is just a myth/US perception that home births are "risky" but for most moms they just are not.

Kate CP - posted on 07/02/2009

8,942

36

754

Quoting Amanda :

home birth can be risky even in a normal pregnancy while a hospital can seem invasive. why not go in between and opt for a birthing center. most major cities have them. if you are not familier with them you should go in for a visit and check it out.


Wow. I feel like a moron. That would be the best of both worlds. I can't believe that didn't hit me before now. Duh! 



 



Thank you. :)

Lorraine - posted on 07/02/2009

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home birth can be risky even in a normal pregnancy while a hospital can seem invasive. why not go in between and opt for a birthing center. most major cities have them. if you are not familier with them you should go in for a visit and check it out.

Kate - posted on 07/02/2009

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You could interview some midwives and see if there's one you feel comfortable with. You certainly don't have to stay with just one! I did make that mistake with my first pregnancy, staying with a dr. with whom I was comfortable and it was not good. You have plenty of time now to try to find a midwife you DO feel comfortable with.



You can also discuss your feelings about homebirth with your current dr. Even if he wouldn't attend, perhaps he'd be willing to serve as your back up if you needed to transfer, and as someone to see for extra prenatal care throughout your pregnancy. Some will do this, some will not. It just depends on how open they are. (Be aware...I've heard of seemingly wonderful doctors who had long-term relationships with patients firing them when learning of their plans to birth at home.)



If you are seriously considering a home birth I urge you to at least talk to some midwives and look into your options. You don't have to decide right now. I didn't decide for sure and switch over until I was 27 weeks along! But now (although my baby isn't here yet, we have a few weeks) I am glad I did because I really do trust my midwives, and if I ever had to transfer I would trust their judgment on what was really medically necessary.

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