To Baptize or Not to Baptize

Charlie - posted on 05/07/2010

thank you for your contributions to this thread .

Loureen , Moderator .

Liz - posted on 05/07/2010

I don't believe in religion, however my husband does. I was happy to have a naming day in a park but he was adamant that it had to be a baptism in the church. After much debating and bickering I decided that it wasn't worth the arguments and have gone along with the Baptism which will be happening next month.

Cheryl - posted on 05/07/2010

My husband and I are both Methodists. When we were getting married, my father in law (who was the Methodist minister who married us) asked me if I had become a member of the church (confirmed) and i said no. What saved me was that I had been baptized so he was able to perform the ceremony. I never knew something like that could be an issue for getting married so sometimes a confirmation or a baptism can be a necessity (not only with the Methodist religion but with others as well). But I also think it is all a personal choice on whether to baptize your children. Some religions baptize infants and other religions require the child to be much older so he/she is making the choice herself. Though my parents had me baptized as an infant, neither of my brothers were ever baptized and they were all married in the Methodist church.

Fontea - posted on 05/07/2010

yes it is a tricky question my husband and myself and our 5 children are all baptized but 6 out of 8 grandchildren are not my dad was catholic my mum wasn't at the time but changed later in life after they married.l am religious but ... not a church goer

Charlotte - posted on 05/07/2010

I refuse to baptize my children as I think it hypocritical and a bit stupid as my kids are too young to decide what they believe in and I am against all religions. I believe that everyone should be free to believe in what they want and that spirituality is extremely personal and beliefs should not (and cannot) be dictated to or forced upon a person. For me all religous practices (apart from meditation) are pretty daft and pointless! I think it sad that in this day and age that ppl believe what they're told without questioning it. In my eyes all organized religions are forms of manipulation and often lead to discrimination and prejudice.

Ashley - posted on 05/07/2010

I was baptized and my husband was not as well. But when we got married he started to come to church with me a was set that we have the wedding in the church. After that he got baptized. I was very proud of his choice, since his mother is very much against religion. So we did get our baby baptized on Valintines day. I dont believe that our children will be sent to limbo if they are not and I cant explain my reasons but I felt that my children should be baptized. It was a beautiful day, and I am very happy with my choice. As should all of you be proud of the choice to get your children baptized or not.

Karen - posted on 05/07/2010

Baptism represents the identification with the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Once you've excepted Christ into your life as your personal savior, baptism is an outward expression of that acceptance and love. Depending on the age of your daughter she may not be old enough to understand and make that decision; however you should talk to her about Christ and the bible and encourage he when she is old enough. For babies, it's not baptism, but dedicating them back to God, who is the giver of all life.

Becky - posted on 05/07/2010

Hi! Great topic! We wnt quite awehile with our kids not being baptized. Not because we didn't believe in God, just because I am one of those people who question "why". I don't do things "just because that's what your supposed to do". PLus we really didnt feel a connection with any local churches. So I asked questions, stalled, and put it off. Finally when the kids were 2 and 4, I couldn't stand it anymore. It just felt like unfinished business and it was causing me stress. Now that we did it, I am very glad we did. It just feels right.

Cindy - posted on 05/07/2010

It's about your soul. Baptism means that you are washed of the sin you were born with and you are claimed by God as belonging to him.In baptism God frees us from sin and death by joining us to Jesus Christ. We are reborn as children of God to live in faith and love to God.

Cherie - posted on 05/07/2010

hi there, i have 5 kids and i was baptised to, i havent got any of my children baptised only because i had too many, too quickly, and getting them baptised was the last thing on my mind, as long as they are bought up to know whats wrong and right, what is love and respect and honesty, and all the true meanings to being a great person are, then you will have bought up beautiful great children, it doesnt matter what religion they are, i hope this helps

Angela - posted on 05/07/2010

you do what is right for you both me and my fiance go to church so it was right for us to go ahead with it but i think no less of those with different thoughts and feelings on the subject it's not for everyone

Tammy - posted on 05/06/2010

My Dad says that Catholics believe that if you baptize your child if they die they will go to heaven. In the bible it is a command to those who believe in Christ to show others their faith. The Bible inspired by God never has anyone baptized as a baby, all references to baptism are, "they believed in Christ and were baptized", babies are to young to believe, therefore don't need baptism. Referring to babies in the old testament when David and Bathsheba's baby was dying, David mourned and prayed, then when he died, he cleaned up and went on with life. His friends asked him why he was mourning, he said he can not come to me but I will go to him some day. Babies have no way to acknowledge sin and confess it like we can, therefore they are heaven bound until they can learn about sin, Gods gift of Christ and the need to ask forgiveness for our sin so we can serve God and go to heaven. Hope this helps, she's a cutie!

Anna-marie - posted on 05/06/2010

I think its your childs choice when she gets older...
when someone i baptized, they have to fully understand what they are getting into with regards to faith.
My husband is looking into getting baptized now at 27, it is only now, he fully understands what his faith is about so is choosing to do it himself.

x

Gayle - posted on 05/06/2010

I had alot of trouble with this becuase I was raised Catholic and baptized at 6 weeks old.... My husband is Pentacostal and believes that the child needs to know right and wrong before being baptized. (he was 12 or 13 when he was baptized) On the other hand I had my parents telling me that if i brought my child outside, (even to just get the mail) and God forbid something happened she would go to hell because of original sin.... My father in particular was very scary about what would happen if i didn't get her bapitzed.... I wanted to get her baptized Catholic, partly because of the parents, but also because that was how i was raised.... My husband wasn't to keen on it, but in the end he went along with it, with the stipulation that when she is old enough to decide for herself, the choice is hers and until then if he or his mom want to take her to church they can, and i will continue to take her to the Catholic church on a regular basis....

Jacqueline - posted on 05/06/2010

I think if you sense yourself as being a christian of any sort baptism is a positive thing. It doesn't cap your child as being only catholic or lds or baptist etc. But it strentghens any relationship there might be with God. Life is not "do or die" its about progress.

Macresia - posted on 05/06/2010

JESUS went through the process of Baptism, to Obey the Father. If we believe in afterlife.. let us bear in mind that this afterlife depends on of HERE life. If we wait till the child gets old, I recall the Bible where Abraham went to offer Isaac in obedience to the Father. I did not read whether Abraham asked Isaac's decision. Isaac went with his father Abraham obligingly. GOD BLESS!

Macresia - posted on 05/06/2010

JESUS went through the process in obedience to the Father. Who do we put first in our life? Our afterlife depends on our HERE life. Of course, GOD respects our decision, let us properly weigh situations before deciding...GOD BLESS!

Barbara - posted on 05/06/2010

I personally believe in baptism but I also believe that it is ok not to baptise your child as most catholics believe that children are accepted into the gates of heaven until they are old enough to commit sin which is believed to be 10 years old at which time your child is old enough to decide. But in the end what you and your husband decide is right no matter what others have to say.

Margene - posted on 05/06/2010

The Bible says the steps of salvation are to hear, believe, confess, repent, and then be baptized. An infant cannot do this,so a person needs to make this choice when they understand the scriptures and can follow the steps of salvation. When that person feels they have reached an age of accountability, then they should study the scriptures and make that choice!

Macresia - posted on 05/06/2010

JESUS went with this process although He did not need it. But He obeyed His Father's will. It is our link to GOD, otherwise, we would be pagans. GOD BLESS!

Megan - posted on 05/06/2010

Hello Amy,
I'm sure this is a topic that lots of people have opposing opinions about! For me personally, I feel that there isn't much significance in baptising babies, other than its a ritual that families can get together and share time for.
I think the main reason people baptise babies is to "secure" their place in heaven, but my belief is that God isn't interested in religion or rituals, but in an individuals heart. If you are baptised but don't have a friendship with God, the act of baptism is in itself emtpy. The bible actually talks about adults choosing to be baptised, once they have decided to follow Jesus. So if you don't baptise your baby, they can choose to be baptised when they are older if they want to (which will mean more to them anyway).
I guess the main thing I would want to leave you with, is if you are thinking about these issues of life, then why don't you ask God to show you? He cares deeply for you and wants to connect with you personally. He doesn't mind if you choose to baptise or not to baptise, He just wants to know your heart and live life with you. I know you said you are not particularly religious, but God isn't either! ;) Don't think about God or Jesus and immediately think of "religion", I encourage you to think about what it's like to have a best friend. Anyway, that's my belief and opinion on baptism and the such, I hope you don't feel stressed about making the decision! :)

Tracey - posted on 05/06/2010

if you're not a christian it matters little. if you want to be in obedience to christ, you read the bible, pray, and do what he tells you to. baptism is by definition a symbol of you're inner salvation and the cleansing of sin...if you aren't "very religious" and "don't care either way"...I'd say don't do it, because if you don't intend on bringing her up in the faith, it would be useless.

Courtney - posted on 05/06/2010

it looks as though you have many responses already but I feel the need to share mine as well, this is a web site from my church, my pastor has written a book on the biblical examination of baptism, infant baptism is the first chapter. Hope this helps. http://www.heritagebbc.com/

Deborah - posted on 05/06/2010

Hi, having grown up a Catholic, I was baptized. But when I grew up I left the Church. Since then I have become a practising Christian, and a member of a Protestant faith. In our denomination we don't baptize, we have a dedication ceremony, where parents can promise to raise their children to know Jesus, and to walk in his ways, and protect them from anything that might harm them. This makes more sense to me since a baby cannot say whether they want to follow Jesus. Then when they are older they can make a decision for themselves on whether they believe or not. Even then we do not have a baptism ceremony, but classes are undertaken where the person can find out about our faith, and after accepting Jesus into their lives they sign a covenant promising to follow his ways, and to uphold the practises of our faith (eg we don't drink). They make a public commitment to Jesus and to our faith, which is a real celebration for everyone.

I think if you are to dedicate or baptize your child to God, you are commiting to raising your child in a way that is pleasing to God. I don't think it matters which church you go to, or which ceremony you follow. It is more important that you can commit to raising your child as a Christian, if you are unable to do this, then there is probably no point having a ceremony. Perhaps you need to explore what you and your husband believe, and whether you would like your child to know about Jesus, and the things he has done. That is probably the best starting point for you, and your husband. I hope this helps.

Faye Marie - posted on 05/06/2010

I personally think that until the "heart" is engaged it is just "getting wet." I was baptized with my parents when I was 8. I had not a clue what it was about. When I was 30 I had a real heart change and wanted to be baptized with my teens who had just come back from church camp. I was the only adult in the crowd. We went down to the river and it was a holy thing for me. I have 7 kids I left that decision to them. They have all been baptized now. One of the best things was my mom was re-baptized with my 28 year old grandson last year. Both had just really given their hearts to the Lord and wanted the world to know it. Mom is 84. Her heart is engaged. I think unless it is a meaningful to you experience it has no value. Just sayin' :) Tis your choice.

Margaret - posted on 05/06/2010

I have been raised catholic and my husband was raised some other way. I had wanted to get the kids baptised and my husband was fine with that. As long as you both agree on the decision that is all that matters!

Sharon - posted on 05/06/2010

To some extent I suppose it may depend on what your religion is. Among us Catholics, baptism is considered to be a sacrament that carries with it special graces that strengthen a person in living a Christian life. BUT if there's no one committed to raising that person as a Christian, baptism alone, even as a sacrament, doesn't do the work that is the responsibility of parents and guardians. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but it doesn't sound as though either you or your husband is willing to make a commitment to raising your child as a Christian. If that's the case, there wouldn't seem to be much point in baptizing.

Hoping mothers of other religions than mine will chime in on this topic--it will be enlightening, for sure.

Sarah - posted on 05/06/2010

My husband and I are choosing to get our daughter baptized for a number of reasons, but that is our choice. As long as you and your husband agree on what is the correct decision, that is all that matters!

Sherri - posted on 05/06/2010

It wasn't even a thought for us. All of our 3 children are baptized.

Denise - posted on 05/06/2010

Both my husband and I are Catholic. When we were first married, I would go to church by myself. I really wanted my husband to come to church with me and for the most part he did. We have had several incidents in our lives that have increased our faith and made our bond with each other stronger. Both of our children received their baptism and my son just received his First Communion. We go to church every week and I go when there are holy days of obligation. My faith is very important to me and I really feel that for my children, if they have that faith, than no matter what happens there is a reason. As a family when we go every week, it really makes us feel good and it's nice to see other people in our community at church. For me and my family, believing there is something greater than we are is very comforting and wonderful. As a parent, I feel it is up to me to make sure my children have this foundation. The only thing that I have noticed when children are not brought up in a certain faith, they normally do not end up practicing any religion. I guess because my faith and God are such an intricate part of my life and really help me through the good and bad, I wish people could feel the same way as I do. Hopefully, this can help anyone who is on the fence. Please note that I do not force my faith on anyone but I guess when something makes you feel wonderful, you want everyone to feel that Way. Thanks!!!

Beverly - posted on 05/06/2010

Actually according to the Bible, baptism is really a personal decision and not one that someone else can make for you. So my advice would be to raise your daughter the way you think is best, but let her make the decision about baptism when she is old enough to understand from the scriptures what God says about it.

Susan - posted on 05/06/2010

That you didn't care either way says that you would be baptizing, committing to raising your daughter in that faith and then not really doing it. If it doesn't matter, why are you asking? Something in you might feel that even if you don't feel like battling your husband on this, you still have this inkling that you should do it. You're just having this conversation now? Isn't that what premarital classes are about or premarital planning? You may want to tackle the college, dating, and other sorts of questions now.

I agree with Angie. The real purpose of baptism is to erase original sin. It's one of those sacraments that crosses over all the other Christian faiths. That says something. If you are baptized in the Episcopal church, it still counts for you if you switch to the Catholic church. It's pretty universal.

As for waiting until you understand what it means, if no one at home is practicing anything, how can you understand it either way if no one is talking about it? I'm forever grateful for my mother's strong Catholic faith. My dad was Methodist. It gave me my backbone, my answers when some things didn't make sense. My husband is Episcopal but we all attend the Catholic church. It's on me. I'm OK with that because I know it's important. They can change their minds later, for now I'm giving them a core of beliefs and understandings.

Laura Jill - posted on 05/06/2010

Wow - lots of feedback - I'll try and keep mine brief. I think you made the right decission. I feel that baptism is something that should be done when an individual can consent, and actively participate in the process. I'm an atheist and my husband is agnostic - while we were both baptized we had each decided that we didn't believe in that whole set of beliefs. Our challenge was trying to raise our children in such a way that they didn't become atheist/agnostic by default of not being exposed to religion. Happily it's worked - we were always open about different religions and our kids all decided on their own that they believe in God/heaven/angels/the whole enchilada. Good luck making your decision, and if it helps you at all, just remember that there's no expiry date on when a person can be baptized. A friend of mine just had her four year old daughter baptized because it took a while for her to make a decision. =)

Mary - posted on 05/06/2010

Mistee, people change religions every day. But it's not religion that counts with God. It's whether or not you trusted in Jesus Christ as your own personal Savior. I'm not a Christian or saved because I belong to a certain church or adhere to a specific religion. I'm saved because I believe that in myself I cannot be good enough for God so I accept the substitution of Jesus' sacrifice for my sins and through Him receive forgiveness. I no longer trust in my own works (for some baptism is such a work) to save me, but put my faith in the work Jesus did on the cross for me. Now I live for God and not for myself. I have a personal relationship with the Living God. This salvation is available to ALL who will dare to believe - no matter what their current religion. And that doesn't mean you have to change your denomination or religion (as long as it's a Christian religion and not a cult - a church that does not profess Jesus to be God). There are many who truly believe in Jesus and others who are confused about true faith in nearly every Christian church (which catholicism is). What is important is that you choose to trust in Christ, not what religion you belong to or even were baptized in. The Bible says I am baptized into Christ, not into a church.

Teri - posted on 05/06/2010

Baptisim is something she should decide for herself. It is an outward expression of her decision to follow Christ. So until she makes that decision there is no benefit or need to baptize.

Dawn - posted on 05/06/2010

I believe we need to "dedicate" our babies. That means that we give our children to the Lord but we accept responsibility to teach them the right ways until they are old enough to understand and make their own decision that they are ready to be baptized. That is what we have done with both of our children when they were babies. But my husband and I both have the same beliefs so we are on the same page and both agreed that this was the way for us to bring our children up in the ways of the Lord..

Kiki - posted on 05/06/2010

I am catholic, and for mu children I wished was I believed to be the best gift I could give them. My love and the love of God and Our Lady. To share with them my faith and beliefs. If in the future they want to change religion, it is up to them, they still can do it, but by now, I give them the chance of having what I believe to be the best choice.
If it is my responsibility to choose their pedeatritian, their school, even to influence in their soccer team choice, why not do it in their values and religion?

Mistee - posted on 05/06/2010

i am baptized as well however i do not follow the religion that i was baptized into. my mother didn't want to baptized me but my grandmother who is a devoted catholic told her she had to. I feel that i should give my children the right to decide on what realigion they wish to be. i am forever baptized catholic and don't practice that religion. i feel that everyone should have the freedom to choose what religion they wish to be.

Elvira - posted on 05/06/2010

hey there. I can totaly understand your questioning weather or not to do this. dispite what any of our beliefs are, you need to find out what baptism really means. It's very different from Catholic to Christian for example. I think you obviously care about it, if you're inquiring.. so ask a church you would consider attending. most churches would want you to know what you're doing either way and would probably recommend you going to a couple services at least... getting as much knowledge about this stuff is very vital. one day your child will wonder what to have faith in. and weather you believe or not, as a parent it would be wise to be able to give them Your understanding, but not to push what they should do. its' ultamitely up to them who they will serve when they are older. My prayers are that either way, they come to know Jesus Christ, have a personal relationship with him, and one day.. when they are ready to make a life declaration to follow him, get baptised... In the Christian religion, baptism is an outward decision of an inward will or an inward love. its' just making a declaration to your family, friends and everyone else witnessing that they are turning from thier old life (which is being fully submersed in water) and living a new life with Christ (comeing up from the water) its symbolic to the water washing away your old ways.. with the Catholic religion, they believe you are born into sin and without baptism you will not enter heaven...
i don't personaly believe this because the bible tells us that the only way into heaven is through your belief in Jesus Christ. that's why he died on the cross. so we may be forgiven and live an everlasting life with God.... just some general knowledge to get you started! :o) hope this helps!

Mary - posted on 05/06/2010

There are a lot of replies and a lot of good points to ponder. I just wanted to say that it seem like something inside you is not able to close the door on the option to baptize your child, since it appears you are questioning this so strongly. I believe God gives us intuition to help guide us to make choices that are right for us.

The only point I keep hearing in the replies that I have issue with is with parents saying they want their children to decide for themselves what to do regarding religion. As parents we have responsibility for sharing information on God, faith and religion to our children. In order for them to make a decision they will need to have information. Otherwise all you are doing is saying, "well, it's not that important to us but one day you might figure it out or care and either way that'll be fine with us." Religion does matter, faith does matter. Even if you don't believe! History revolves around it and your child's future will be marked with all kinds of religious questions and situations. Prepare your child with what your knowlege and views are, what your faith is, and if you are truly wanting them to choose something one day then offer them information and opportunities to base their decision.

Leeann - posted on 05/06/2010

My husband and I didn't really care one way or another, and neither did my parents or sister. But my inlaws living in Ireland cared very, VERY much about this. So we didn't think twice about having our boys baptized. It was a lovely ritual and a great photo op, and eased the fears of some people I really love a great deal! I mean, unless babymom and babydad think it's evil or something, what's the harm in making some old people very happy? If you say no just to be oppositional, then you're a child yourself and shouldn't be parents!

Lynette - posted on 05/06/2010

So what is the debate? Your husband doesn't want it and you don't care. Seems like you have answered your own question.

Melissa - posted on 05/06/2010

I say, ABOVE ALL, that if you and your husband are in agreement over this matter--that ALL is well. No matter what anyone else has to say about it--family or no. :P

but if you were looking for something more in-depth--I have that, too... excuse me first because I come from a very Biblically-driven church... :) that being said:

There is nothing in the Bible about baptizing infants... that was something brought about by the Catholic church. :) so I guess yer free there--unless yer Catholic (or one of the other dogmatic denominations that believes in infant baptism--I apologize for that because I know some people are and I do not mean to offend)

baptism is mostly referred to in the New Testament --the word "baptism" comes from the Greek word "baptizo" which means 1) to dip repeatedly, to immerse, to submerge (of vessels sunk), 2) to cleanse by dipping or submerging, to wash, to make clean with water, to wash one's self, bathe, OR 3) to overwhelm. (in otherwords, a mere sprinkle doesn't really do ya, yanno? :P ) Water baptism is a VERY spiritual thing--something that isn't very well-experienced by an infant (or even small child) who will not remember the experience or its profoundness in their spiritual life.

I was not baptized ever in my life until around a year ago. My mother asked me if I was upset by this... I AM NOT and I WAS NOT. in fact, I was VERY glad that my parents allowed me to make this decision on my own. The experience of my water baptism was very powerful. :) I was glad that I was given a choice in my own spiritual path... if you are worried about someone being "saved" through their baptism? well... there are many people who were baptized as infants that simply choose to NOT follow God... that is their choice... and it should have been their choice to be baptized, too. Baptism REALLY marks something important in the renewed life of the believer. When you are old enough to understand what your baptism REALLY means? it means so much more...

so I guess, IMHO, you are doing something wonderful for your child should they choose to follow God... :) Baptism is SUPPOSED to be a conscious thing for the believer... so that they may well-mark their path with THEIR OWN CHOICE to follow God... not a path that someone else (albeit, their own parents--who chose with love, either way) chose for them.

JUST MY OPINION, but I'll prolly get flamed and I completely understand...

Patricia - posted on 05/06/2010

2 of my kids are baptised and the last isn't, got tired and just ran out of time. He does have his unofficial god-parents and someday I hope to have something in his honor with a religious leader of some sort to acknowledge his ties to them publicly

Debi - posted on 05/06/2010

I don't think that baptizing a baby really affects the child's future. I think the spiritual values you teach your child by the way you live and treat others is way more important. I don't know what your beliefs are but I taught my child about God because I believe in God.

Carrie - posted on 05/06/2010

If you really don't care and your husband doesn't want to, I would say no to. But if you aren't 100% satisfied with the decision there is always the option to have your daughter "dedicated". I don't know much about it but I know that they "dedicate" your child rather than baptise them and then they have the option when they get older and can make the decision for themself if they want to be baptized or not. I THINK. don't quote me on that, that is just the way "dedication" was explained to me so I thought it might help you

Des/Pat - posted on 05/06/2010

There is only ONE Baptism according to the Bible. So no matter who or when or where you ae Baptised - that's it - you are done! My son was baptised by a nun in the delivery room as there were some complications. My priest said, No Problem.

Tanya - posted on 05/06/2010

My husband and I agreed to Dedicate our children when they were young. It is similar to a baptisim except no water is used. The ceremony is along the lines that the parents agree to teach the children about God and offer them support on their journey. The children can decide to be baptized when they are old enough to choose and understand the sacrament. Hope that helps. Either way as long as you are both in agreement everything is fine.

Kate - posted on 05/06/2010

Baptism is not a ritual that automatically gets your baby into heaven. It is just a sign to the community that you are going to do your best raise your child as a Christian, in a Christian home, with the support of your church family. If you are willing to make that commitment, then you should go ahead with baptism.

Teri - posted on 05/06/2010

Mary, well said. Because of being "baptized" as an infant I lived 25 years without the security of salvation and was a little miffed at my mom when I really got saved and told her so, nicely of course and also to make sure she was really saved. She did us a great injustice.