touching breasts

Eugenia - posted on 01/11/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My 5-year-old son has been trying to touch my breasts. For the last couple of months, he seems to have an obsession with them. He says he likes stroking them. In the beginning I tried preventing him from it by telling him that it hurts. Then I was told that it might make him develop a connection for the future that stroking a girl may cause her pain. I have asked him why he likes doing it and he says he just does. How can I stop him from doing it without making him body-shy, or causing him feel guilty?

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Mari - posted on 01/11/2010

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My two cents, the only way to promote healthy body image and personal space is to make it not about the boobs. It's not to early to start really basic birds and bees discussions. Help him know that your body has what a grown up girl has and he will someday be a grown up boy with different grown up parts. Grown up parts are reserved for grown up touching. Little boys, little girls, grown up boys, and grown up girls all have hands, feet, knees, etc. These parts are the same and they're ok to touch, like holding hands, or hugs around the neck, or tickling sides, whatever your examples are. If the parts are different from when you're little to when you're grown up, then they are reserved for grown up touch. My 3 all had their stages, and its crucial they don't develop issues that can haunt them later in life.

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hey..most women i know with sons have gone through this!! i can remember my brother doing this to my mom till he was about 6 or 7!! its more then likely a comfort to him. he should grow out of it by himself

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Sharalyn - posted on 01/11/2010

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My little GIRL does this and she is almost a year and a half. I think its a 'bonding' and tecture thing to be honest. As long as you are consistant that he does not touch you because you are his mom but when he is much older he can touch his wife in that manner. Try explaining the birds and the bees if you can think he can handle it, maybe it is time. Especially now since he is becoming more aware that it makes you feel uncomfortable. He has to understand that your areas and his areas are off limits. Hope this helps.

Sabrina - posted on 01/11/2010

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my son did that for a bit and i told him that that was a no no spot and should not do that to mommy or any one else till he is older and in a loving and solid relationship.

Sam - posted on 01/11/2010

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my 5 year old daughter is obsessed with my boobs and i have no idea why, she wasn't breastfed, she has not been exposed to anything that would make her this way, she sees me undress and just started asking when her boobies would get big like mummys, she trys to grab them but i tell her it's rude but i wonder if it's right to tell her that, she trys to touch them if we are in the bath together and when she was rubbing cream on my 9 month pregnant belly she asked if she put cream on them which i said no to, im not sure what the fascination is to be honest, hopefully she will grow out of it.

Iysha - posted on 01/11/2010

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Have you told him that you really don't like it and telling him that it is never ok to touch girls there? It should be like everything else that he shouldn't do. Tell him not to do it, then tell him why and not to do it again. The why can be as simple as, "because I don't like it."

Merry - posted on 01/11/2010

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i encourage you to dig deeper to find the beginning of why he is doing it. he HAS to have a reason it came to mind to touch you there.....did he see daddy do it, or on tv, or a friend told him to, or maybe he saw a breastfeeding baby. once you find the initial appeal then it will be easier to stop it.

Ann - posted on 01/11/2010

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I got a chuckle out of this one. Both my sons did this at that age. Boys are curious about them. They don't have them and Mommy does so he honeslty wants to check them out. A phase they never grow out of. I just had to consistantly tell my sons that it was not appropriate to touch me there. That yes, I have boobies, I know they think they are neat but I am Mommy and it is not ok to touch me there. Eventually they grew out of it.

Michelle - posted on 01/11/2010

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I would try to have a talk about private parts and what is a good touch and a bad touch.

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