Trying to potty train my youngest he has no interest in it at all any tips?

Sandra - posted on 08/05/2009 ( 64 moms have responded )

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He was three in February and is supposed be starting playschool next month but he can't if he's not trained.

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Shar - posted on 08/21/2009

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Vicki has a good point. Knowing the difference between interest and readiness with your child is very important! As long as your child is physically ready and understands the "elimination cycle," your only challenge should be making it interesting enough, and some kids require more excitement than others.

Vicki - posted on 08/21/2009

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Hi! With our eldest still in nappies and a baby due it became my mission to toilet train #1 son before #2 son arrived so we weren't spending so much on nappies. First mistake - trying to toilet train before #1 was ready to. He is very much a "I'll do it in my own good time" kid so in hindsight I should've left him to it. Many 'experts' say that if you try to train your child before they are ready you'll only prolong the training and possibly traumatise the child. Our efforts often ended up in tantrums and us giving up many times (it was traumatic for us too!). Anyway, we did eventually get #1 trained by using a combination of methods - buying a stool and a cute and comfy padded seat that fits on the top of the normal toilet seat. He loves Thomas the Tank Engine and reading so we also let him read one or two Thomas books while he was on the toilet to encourage him to stay there til something happened. I tried a few types of reward charts as well and the best one was a step-by-step one - a grid, 4 down x 10-12 across. Each row represented different steps in the toileting process - Doing wees/poos, wiping, flushing and washing hands. One little sticker for each completed step and one big sticker if he did all of them. Fill the chart and he got $2 to spend on himself at the local $2 shop. Maybe sounds a bit complicated but he loved it. One other thing I just thought of - we put #1 in undies too, so he understood pretty quickly that it wasn't such a good idea to do wees in his pants. Means a bit of extra washing to start with but his clothes are only little so it doesn't take up too much more room in the washing machine! :) Just remember to be supportive when accidents happen (yes, you can pretty much guarantee that he will have accidents). Not sure if any of this will work for you but I hope it gives you some inspiration into what might work for your boy. Ultimately though, if your son isn't aware of needing to go to the toilet it's a bit early for him to be training - probably not too helpful in your situ but we learnt the hard way that premature training isn't a good thing.

Shar - posted on 08/21/2009

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My son had no interest in using the potty either (he turned 3 in May). He was not afraid, or against it, just not interested, and I could not motivate him. I knew something unique and dramatic was necessary, so I potty trained him in one day using the methods in the book, "Potty Train Your Toddler in One Day Using the Proven Secrets of Potty Pro, Teri Crane." It required a lot of prep work, and the day was exhausting for me, but I followed it to the letter, and my son was potty trained in one day!! He wore pull-ups to bed for five days, and then switched to under pants, and has only one accident at night in two months! The only problem is that he wakes me during the night to tell me that he has to use the potty! :o) However, that's much better than the alternative of waking to a soaked bed, and having to change sheets in the middle of the night. I know every child is different, but I have to add my name to the hundreds of moms who've had success with Ms. Crane's book. It is something for you to consider.

Pauline - posted on 08/16/2009

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If your husband reads while on the loo, sit him on there with his fave book too.
Worked with my two girls, good luck.

Mandy - posted on 08/16/2009

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I Have twin boys we took a weekend off and let them run around in t-shirt and underwear so when they did have acc. they could feel it we had snack prize for pee and a couple of big prizes for poop by monday we were potty trainded. hope it helps

Kacee - posted on 08/14/2009

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first off boys develop slower than girls when it comes to controlling thier bladder up to age 4 is not uncommon...my son was 3 and a half still refused to sit on a potty...then it dawned on me ...maybe the potty scared him...I mean things disappear rifgt??? so just for the heck of it..I turned him backwards put some toys he liked on tank and waited when he pottied praise and reward and that was it...!!!

Denise - posted on 08/14/2009

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I had tried EVERYTHING. Sticker charts, rewards,begging, threatening (I was desperate - he was 4). What worked for me was just putting him in underware. No more diapers. I told him that they didn't make diapers for boys after they were 4 years 2 weeks old. He peed and pooped in his pants for about 2 weeks, then he started to get the hang of it. It helped to require him to sit on the potty everyy 1/2 hour to 45 minutes until he had the hang of it. This is a very labor intensive method, but I swear it worked. Good Luck!

Alexis - posted on 08/13/2009

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I do not have a son but I have a little girl who will be two next month. We got her one of those singing potty's a few months ago. We didn't get the potty until she started to tell us she was "stinky" (her term for she needed to go potty). Once I realized she was telling me she had to go potty before she actually went potty I got her a potty. What I've been trying to do is first thing in the morning I would put her on her potty when I went potty. It worked the first time. But she's now stopped telling me when she's stinky and it's become a hassle to get her to sit on her potty chair. I figure when she's ready again I'll try again but I'm not pushing it. I agree with the other moms, my mother in law told me she would put cheerio's in the toliet for my husband and she told him to shoot them down and it worked.

I also watched something on Dr. Phil that took all of three days to potty train. Aparently you get them a doll that goes potty, you fill the doll and set the doll on the potty and squeeze the doll to make it pee. Then once the doll pee's you make a HUGE deal out of it. You sing songs and run around the house dancing and congratulating the doll for going potty. Aparently you have to do this 20 or so times and then your child will want to do what the doll is doing because of all the praises you did everytime. They say the trick is that you have to make a HUGE deal about it every time the doll goes potty. Hope that helps. Good Luck!

Belinda - posted on 08/13/2009

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My 3 year old girl wasn't interested in using the potty, either. I resorted to using her favourite character as a bribe. I asked her, "Would you like to wear Dora underwear? But you'll need to use the potty instead of nappy." I got a big resounding "Yes". After that we keep practicing sitting on the potty - hourly basis. We used to sing a song on the potty, so she can relax and think about doing her business. Good luck with your boy.

Ann-Marie - posted on 08/13/2009

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I started with my son and then he got tired of the hole thing. So we gave it a break and i started back trying with him again a month later. But this time i would take him to pee and he did i would give him a cookie or another favorite snake and if he went poopoo i would do two cookies. And after a while he started going on his own and i would still give him a cookie but after a month he just stop asking for a cookie and just goes now when he has to. But he is 2 1/2 and we are still trying to get him to wipe but he does call me in their to help him. He hasnt even pottyed in the bed once since we have started cause i make him go before he lays down. Good luck

Donna - posted on 08/13/2009

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Video- "Once upon a Potty"cute song to see around the house to remind him potty time.

Undies- to motivate

Toy or Book - to use durring the project.....be patient let them sit...

Treats- to reward after the project

--ask frequently if it's time to try--- running around pantless helps in the beginning...

[deleted account]

I just wanted to say I feel your pain! My son just turned four and tells me he WON'T use the potty until he is five. I have tried pretty much every thing, from cherios, a singing potty, running half naked... His pediatrician told me to lay off and start again when my son is ready, and I'm afraid he's never going to be ready! :) He was in school and could not move up to the three-year-old class until he was potty trained, The problem was he was too old to be in the twos class so I took him out. After MUCH searching I found him a school that will work with him and it's actually a much better school than where he was at. So, hang in there! I'm right there with ya' and I don't want to be. :(

Vickie - posted on 08/13/2009

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Hi, with my first child, she also had to be trained before she could start school, so i just told her that she couldn't go to "big school" in nappies. it only took a week and she was done. Its a pain, but every 10 mins i would tell her to sit on the potty. Then she got the hang of it, it also then didn't take long before she didn't want to wear nappies to bed.
You must always encourage him even if he doesn't do anything on the potty, lots of hugs and kisses.
Hope this helps.

Tammy Holland - posted on 08/13/2009

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hi i tried everything to get my daughter to use a pot but nothin seemed to work for her then one day in a shop i saw a potty training book about a little girl (there was also a boy one) called molly mathews we sat down and read this book over and over again and she just got up and went,2 yrs later and she still loves this book every time i put it in a bag to pass on she gets it back out.

[deleted account]

My daughter was difficult, we were closing in on 3 and she just wasn't interested. I tried stickers, a star chart, reward statements, yada, yada. What finally worked was nudity. I covered the furniture with absorbent pads and we stayed in rooms that weren't carpeted for a week, but that's how long it took. One week. She only wet the bed one time, only peed down her leg once or twice.



The boy was easier. I let him toss a few cheerios in the toilet when he needed to go, and he shot cheerios. He went anytime he had ammo. If you don't have cheerios, one square of toilet paper floating gives a target, too.

Rosa - posted on 08/12/2009

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My son is 3 also, at first I tried training pants, but he still wet them because they feel like diapers. Now I just let him run around in underwear and keep reminding him that he is a big boy. They say you just have to be patient with boys they will go when they are ready.

Jennifer - posted on 08/12/2009

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Potty training has always been an issue in my house. I have 3 boys (8yrs, 5 yrs and 3yrs). My oldest son, we fought so hard to get him trained by 2, because of what everyone told us about how he should be completely potty trained by 2. He quickly let me know he was not everyone elses child, and didn't fully potty train until he 4. But it wasn't until then either that it was a medical condition that was holding him back before. Then came time to try and potty train my 2nd son. After dealing with all the issues of my 1st son, we decided not to push him to hard into training because we still had leftover guilt from the oldest. He decided when we were on vacation at Grandma's house and about to go to an amusement park that he would all of a sudden be potty trained. All because of me saying that little boys in diapers couldn't ride the big boys rides. Amazingly that worked. Then came along my 3rd child, who is rotten to the core.. ;-) He decided on his 3rd birthday he all of a sudden wanted to potty train, and since he is really into tractor we made a sticker chart and told him when he filled up the chart, then he could get a tractor. From the time I put on the first sticker, there was no looking back. So don't worry about age, but worry about the child. They will know when they are ready, and make sure there is nothing medically stopping him. Because if you realize later there is and you continue to push, you will feel the guilt for years... trust me, I still do.

[deleted account]

Well.. #1 was easier for me than #2..For #1 to start, we used to throw cheerios or fruitloops in the potty and make a game of him aiming for the cereal...maybe start a star chart and get him ice cream or something for getting a certain amount of stars..keep raising the amount..5 at first, then 10, and so on..

Pamela - posted on 08/11/2009

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Little boys need a 'role model' for potty training. It is quickest and easiest when their father, or a close male takes the lead by allowing them to come into the bathroom when they go, so that the child sees how it's suppose to be done. It should be done in a light-hearted , non-threatening fashion. This way the child will want to become 'more grown up' and do it like the 'big boys do'. If there is not a male present in the home, take the child to visit a grandfather or uncle and have them help in the process.

Precious - posted on 08/10/2009

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I have a 31 mos old and she is showing no interest also. What I have heard from several successful moms is to let them go around the house naked for the week-end and just try to catch them each time. It is taxing, I have heard, but after 2-3 days they all swear it works. I'll let you know. We are going for it this week-end.

Connie - posted on 08/10/2009

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I sure hope this happens with my almost 3 yr old daughter!! Some days she is all about it and other days she walks up to me with a potty pant and says "On!" LOL!!

[deleted account]

I have been so frustrated trying to potty train my daughter. She has been happily using the potty off and on for months and even wanted underwear, but she wouldn't do it consistently. Sometimes she'll go into the bathroom herself and do everything. She just turned 3 and is starting preschool soon and now doesn't want it at all. Her peditrician told us that it is time for her to potty train now. We have tried putting her in underwear on different days and she has peed all over the house and outside. She seemed to be upset by the fact that she was went and wanted me to wipe her. Yesterday I tried to put underwear on her and she was screaming no underwear, no potty. She was so upset I decided to stop. I put her potty, potty seat, and pullups away and bought her regular diapers like her 1 year old sister. I wan't sure what else to do. She was so upset. Has anyone else experienced this?

Gill - posted on 08/10/2009

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If you are in the UK, then play school will have to accept your child whether he is potty trained or not, it is discriminatory to refuse a child who is not potty trained. My son was a late potty trainer (hate to tell you this but he is now five and still has accidents and is not dry at night). Our peadiatrician told us that although many playgroups and schools say they will only take toilet trained children, they can't refuse a child on those grounds alone. May be worth making a passing mention to the playgroup leader to see what they say.

Jo - posted on 08/10/2009

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Hi, I am sure you have had loads of tips from all the comments and hope they have helped you. Unfortunately my son did not respond to anything at all - my daughter was fully dry in the day at 2 and a half and dry at night a month later which she did by herself when she was ready. I thought my son would do the same (which he did in the end!) but because by 3 (in March) he had not even sat on a potty and would not go near a toilet then I started to worry. I tried everything (treats, books, talking, showing, chart) and unfortunately when I decided we would "go for it" and took him out of nappies and put him in pants and stayed at home it was a disaster, upsetting for both of us and did not end up with him even sitting on the potty, just wetting and pooing himself and we only did half a day!. I just hugged him, put his nappy back on and decided to leave it. A couple of months later we visited friends who has a 2-year-old. We stayed over and in the morning my son was in the bathroom with this child who sat on his potty and did a wee - my son patted him on the head and said good boy and we left it at that. We came home on the Monday and for the first time ever said he needed a wee and he sat on his potty and did a wee - I was gobsmacked - he was 3 and 2 months. He was in pants and completely dry by the Wednesday and he is now dry at night (he is nearly 3 and 6 months) - I think the key is that something has to trigger in their head - and is different for each child. Obviously for my son it wasn't watching his dad or sister or me (which we tried), following a plan or just going cold turkey, it was when he was ready and then it was no problem at all. I really hope your little boy does it soon as I know how anxious it can make you when you think its not going to happen and you have no idea what to do. Try everything but don't let him get stressed and sure he will be fine. Best of luck and perhaps you can let us all know how you get on!

Sandra - posted on 08/09/2009

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My husband was the biggest help of all. They would go to the toilet at the same time. We didn't rush our son, we let him learn at his own pace and it took around 6 mos. I started by putting the pull ups on him during the day and the diapers at night only. As time passed, he understood he couldn't wear the big boy underwear (that I kept in his drawer and showed him daily) until he stopped peeing in his pull ups. Using this method including the help from daddy is all I needed. I watched every morning to see if his diaper was wet or dry and when his diaper was dry 3 mornings in a row, we walked to his drawer with the big boy underwear and he was allowed to wear them cause he was officially potty trained. A tip to remember is you have to praise them each time they get it right and encourage them when they don't. My son was so proud of himself he insisted on showing everybody his big boy underwear at first. The best thing about letting them learn at their own pace is my son has never once wet his bed since he was potty trained. Good luck.

Rachael - posted on 08/09/2009

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I also let my son do wee's in the garden when outside if he is playing it helped alot too

Rachael - posted on 08/09/2009

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My son is three and a half and now fully toilet trained. I found that when he attended daycare they really pushed him and it set him back heaps. From my personal experience, your child needs to ready. My son didn't care if he wet his pants he would walk around with wet jocks. It was quite hard. Start wearing jocks during the day and reward them when they go to the toilet. Then try jocks 4 day sleeps. One night i forgot to put a nappy on him and he didn't wet the bed, he has gone for about 4 months now and has only ever had 2 accidents. He also hasn't had any poo accidents 4 2 weeks now. I once read that boys are harder to train and dont be allarmed if your son isn't toilet trained before the age of 4.

Tonya - posted on 08/09/2009

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with my son we made it a game i put a bowl of m&m's on the back of the toilet and a few cheerios in the toilet and told himn if he sunk a cheerio he could have an m&m it worked great. good luck

April - posted on 08/09/2009

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THere is this video that I cheked out at the library that helped my son alot I forget the name of it but I am sure they have simmilar ones if you look around~

Dorothy - posted on 08/09/2009

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It will come just keep it going and one day all will fall in place for him don't worry about it. There is no time table for these things to happen.

Ilse - posted on 08/09/2009

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I had heaps of trouble with my daughter! I let her go in the garden to let her get the feel for it but just try to tranfer slowly to the toilet as when i tryed she stopped all together. But it just lets them get the feel for it and its fun for them! Rewards help:) They say to put them on 20mins after they eat and drink. Also let him go in the toilet with u and dad. Ecspecially daddy as they look up to dad:)

Brenda - posted on 08/09/2009

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Keep the potty close by, we went naked and just talked about the big boy potty. We made a chart that for everytime he went pee he got one sticker, poo got two. (it took a while to get a poo sticker) After dinner we counted the stickers and he received that many m&m's or choice from our special bag. Lots of dollar store/ Oriental trading times went in the bag. He was trained two weeks after he turned two, took about three weeks to be 100% trained. We did this with our second son at 2 and he was trained in a month!

User - posted on 08/09/2009

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I had trouble with my son too. I tried many things that didn't work. I finally made a potty chart and explained it to him. we hung it up in the bathroom and everytime he went potty he got to pick out the sticker and put it up himself. He knew if he got 5 stickers in a row he could pick out a toy.( i bought a bunch of little cheap toys that came in bulk and mixed all up in a box). Involving him in each step really made a difference. As he progressed we up'd the amount of stickers he had to get before a toy. Once he seemed to be doing well with the peeing we started working on the number 2. He would get 2 stickers for that. we just continued to up the amount of stickers he needed and eventually he kind of got bored with it and would forget all about the chart. He is now fully potty trained in the day. Still working on the night time though if anybody has any tips on that. The doctor said that is something that will just come naturally and to go ahead and keep him in pull ups at night. I am worried this is going to go on forever.

Angel - posted on 08/08/2009

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hi sandra i know how you feel, my son was 4 in june and has just started to use the potty but i had to invest in larger potty which argos do it converts into a step up to toilet as well. but this helped due to the fact he can get all his bum and bits to fit in bowl. i brought my son plan big boy pants not novalty cos he didnt like the fact the pics were on them. but dont worry too much they will do it in time, i'm a single mum and it can be quite daunting. but his nusrery have been fantastic.

Safi - posted on 08/08/2009

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I started my son at 2 years old but sometimes what i would do was take him ever 2 hours and completely got rid of the pull ups except for when he went to bed at night....you will be washing alot of clothes but it might work if they dont like getting wet....they have potty training underwear with the plastic....or you can put cheerios in the toilet and have him aim at them when he uses the restaurant. Kazoo hand soap and wipes works sometimes to. Dont worry we all have problems with boys mine just became fully potty trained 3 months ago and his a year and a half.

Cori - posted on 08/07/2009

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Don't sttart a school that expects kids to grow up on their calander instead of your childs. This is about their convience and not about what is good and healthy for your child. Your his parent your job to to do what is best for him not a school.

Evette - posted on 08/07/2009

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I put a "Potty Chart" up in the bathroom. Whenever my little boy went on poop on the toilet he got to pick a sticker and put it on the chart. He loved it and was completely potty trained within a few days of putting up the chart. I had a hard time with him prior to this.

Lori - posted on 08/07/2009

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I worked in preschool for over 10 years and thing I learned is that you really can't force a child to potty solo. Their mucels develop at different times. One daughter potty trained herself the other was almost 3. Try to make pre k sound so exciting that he wants to go and then encourage him to use the potty on his own so he can attend class. Good luck!!!!

Danielle - posted on 08/07/2009

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We told him if he was dry for 7 days in a row he would get to go mini golfing (he loves golfing). He picked out a calander and stickers to use to keep track of the days. We would remind him everytime he whined about going that he would get a sticker if he was dry all day (not nap or night). Pitch the diaper option during the day only unders!! He is playing you so make it fun:)

Cathy - posted on 08/07/2009

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This may sound extreme, but I just put mine straight from diapers to big kid under wear. She wet herself twice and that was it. She started using the potty on her own.

Robyn - posted on 08/07/2009

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i put cheerios in the toilet and made a game out of hitting it with his stream. or i put him on the potty chair in front of the tv (he was strapped in) and checked often. then make a huge thing out of it when he did what he was supposed to do. he was 2 when he was totally potty trained.

Michelle - posted on 08/06/2009

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I had a hard time training my son too. He just wasn't interested at all and nothing I did or told him or gave him seemed to make any difference, and all of a sudden at 3 1/2 he decided to finally use the toilet on his own, he's 5 now and has never had an accident since!



He'll go when he's ready, don't try to push it to hard becuase it just stressed everyone out and no progress is made. My daughter however has been tained since she turned 2 (she's now 2yr 10mo) and she trained herself...every kid is different!

LouAnne - posted on 08/06/2009

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Luckily I had a daughter and I'm told girls are easier. She responded to motivation and goals . . . OK call it what it was - bribery! I figured out something she wanted and that became the prize for staying dry. Started with one day for a small prize and worked our way up to bigger things like sleeping in the top bunk of her bunk bed. Big thing was that when she had an accident, we didn't make a big deal, just started back at the beginning of working toward the goal.

Joanna - posted on 08/06/2009

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2 weeks before my "refuse to potty train" son started preschool the Diaper Fairy came one night and took all his diapers! But left him new underwear, flushable wipes, night time underwear (pull-ups), his own hand soap, a potty chart with stickers, and little prizes (to be earned after "pick a number" successful potties). His 2 older brothers even cheered him on and congratulated him when he went the bathroom! It was all about him...he loved it and we had no problems or resistance. Good luck!

[deleted account]

I don't have a boy but I do know my brother was given the advice of making a game out of it. Put some ping pong balls in the toliet and tell him if he hits one with his pee he gets a piece of candy of his choosing. If he sinks one or more then he gets that number pieces of candy....for example if two of the ping pong balls go under water he gets two pieces of candy. As for the underwear.....my brother and I have potty charts for stickers. We let the kids pick out their favorite stickers and the characters to place on the chart. Then we taped it up on a cabinet next to their potty and every time they have dry underwear when it's "Potty Time" they get to put a sticker on their chart. We've also established the rule that if you make it to the potty but not in the potty you get an extra hour of TV or Game time with mommy or daddy. That way they are getting the encouragement they need. If they actually go in the potty they get to choose between candy or a full bowl of ice cream. We also made it a competition between the two of them...without meaning too of course.....and now which ever one of them has more stickers by this weekend gets to choose the first thing they do at Wanna Do City on our playdate.

Crystal - posted on 08/06/2009

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There are sooo many things you can do. My son was potty trained when he was two. used many of the methods others have shared, Fruit loops, sink the ship, charts, stickers, but the potty song and bubbles hepled me through with him. I too was facing a preschool that would not take him unless he was potty trained completely. He was doing well but still wore pull ups until a week before school started. I took something he loved which was bubbles and let him blow them when he went. I also sang the pee pee in the potty song. He would sing along and I would stop until he voided and then continued singing. He would not stand up to pee though. It was rough. I felt like I was a bad mom because all the other moms had stories of the boys standing. He eventually did, but was more comfortable with sitting at first. Also don't scold him for having accidents in will only send him into regression. Just say, oh no you had an accident why do you think that is...Mommy understands that accidents happen and come up with a plan to prevent it. etc. don't try to train with fear. My son just fell into routine. He had accidents, but most importantly don't push if they are not ready. It is all a game and the next step to being a big boy. So I hope my rambling advice helped and the best of luck to you!

Blake - posted on 08/06/2009

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My youngest boy will be five in Jan. and his interest in potty training comes and goes....have tried treats....stickers/charts....just purchased a cute product from One Step Ahead called the Potty Watch. Looks like a little potty, they wear it like a watch. You can set it for every 30/60/90 minutes...plays cute song for the alarm....he's loving it!!! It goes off and he runs to the potty! Only problem is getting him to do #2 in the potty. Also, the watch is not water proof, so it's a bother to take it on and off each time (so he can wash his hands), but he seems to be responding pretty well to it! An older woman at my church shared with me that she used to just fold the toilet tissue a bit and drop it in the pot and told her son to "sink the ship!" or "Bombs away!" for #2! She said it worked........now, my second oldest son was two weeks away from beginning pre-k and was still in pull-ups. He woke up one morning and declared he wanted big boy pants and hasn't gone back since! It's really up to the child...they will do it when they are ready...no amount of forcing will help (as you well know by now!) Just keep encouraging and being patient! The watch, by the way, was only about $12...check out www.onestepahead.com. Best of luck!

Jeannette - posted on 08/06/2009

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hi ive heard boys are harded to train then girls but what i did with my daughter was whenever she peed her pant i would let her walk in her diaper or a bit after awhile she went .but its consistency also and maybe give them a sticker or make a big deal if they go i hope i helped a bit .good luck

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