unemployed pregnant teen

Juanita - posted on 02/26/2009 ( 92 moms have responded )

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My 19 year old daughter is still living @ home & is 3 monthes pregnant. She lost her job 1 1/2 monthes ago. She couldn't stay out of the bathroom...morning sickness all day. She has a car which is in mine & my husbands name. We have paid the last month & 1/2 payments. My husband told her she has one week to have a job or she has to hand over her car keys...which I agree with...but then how will she ever get a job without car. She said with the economy so bad she can't find a job & if she does, as soon as they find out she's pregent, they say they can't hire her. HELP SOMEBODY!

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Cheryl - posted on 02/26/2009

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Maybe she can babysit a couple kids during the week to make up some money. Make some flyers and put them in your local store. If that isn't an option- buses are still a good way and cheap.

Donita - posted on 03/02/2009

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In this economy they don't need a reason to fire you. I think in your heart you know what is going to happen to the baby. You and your husband are going to be taking care of the child is that what you want when you thought you were done? To many young moms get all excited over new babys and all the new "stuff" and all the attention but the bottom line when the child hits two it is hard and $$ how many want to adopt then? Some times the hardest decions are the best decions. If you would like to talk my email is digger.donita@gmail.com

Carrie - posted on 02/26/2009

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waitress waitress waitress...the cash is good and most restaurants are very use to high turn over. Corporate places usually have benefits as well. I waitressed up until my 8th month...(which was very hard) but usually customers were extra generous with their tips knowing I was about due. The economy is very tough out there and I know many people, friends and family) who have been looking for work for a very long time. There are also ways to pick up a few dollars in the meantime by cleaning houses or offices or babysitting...



It is absolutely illegal for someone to say that they are not going to hire her becaseu she is pregnant...in the same regard there is no law that she has to disclose that before she is hired. if she is only a few months pregnant she probably isn't showing.



I understand your concern for her take responsibility for herself and new little baby she will give birth to...but she needs your support now than ever. Putting her out on the street, carless, jobless, penniless, and pregnant is no way for your pregnant daughter to live. She is probably scared about where her future is going to lead her.. Now may be a good time for her to enroll inschool. With the economy being as bad as it is many people are choosing to earn a degree and learn new skills while waiting for the job market to open up...



Good Luck...I will pray for you, your daughter and your new little grandchild...



Carrie

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Jodi - posted on 05/19/2010

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Ladies, I am locking this thread because it is over a year old. Thank you for you input.

Jodi Adams
WtCoM Moderator

Rebecca - posted on 05/19/2010

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she can always pay you back.. i fell pregnant at the age of 19 and lost my job due to the fact that they didnt want to risk something going wrong whilst i was preg as i worked at a flower farm and when it was wet it was slippery and working with chemicals so that was that i know people are saying that you dont have to tell the employer that your pregnant but that was very hard for me as in this town even though it is big everyone knows someone so i could not get a job again dont know where your from but here in aus i was put onto jobsearch payments from centrelink i also did home cleaning my mum paid for my car before i fell preg so i was paying her off anyway i moved out of my unit and back into home at my mothers for a bit and instead of paying board i cleaned the house everyday and cooked dinner a couple of nights after a bit i moved to my dads and stayed there for a year with my daughter when she was born aswell i was then put onto the pension and found my own place got my car paid off once she got to the age i could put her in day care i started lookign for jobs but have no luck .. having sed that through having my daughter i have discovered a passion in baby clothing at started selling at markets buying in bulk from wholesale sites its great and now iv made my way to starting a homebusiness and will go on to opening a shop and im only 21 to all the people who think someone so 'young' shouldnt b a parent i have done so well and may i say iv dont it all on my own and i never had my parents raise my child for me even when i lived with them for that small time yes i understand some teenage parents do but not all..maby have her advertse in the local paper house cleaner?

Donita - posted on 03/02/2009

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In this economy they don't need a reason to fire you. I think in your heart you know what is going to happen to the baby. You and your husband are going to be taking care of the child is that what you want when you thought you were done? To many young moms get all excited over new babys and all the new "stuff" and all the attention but the bottom line when the child hits two it is hard and $$ how many want to adopt then? Some times the hardest decions are the best decions. If you would like to talk my email is digger.donita@gmail.com

Donita - posted on 03/02/2009

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In this economy they don't need a reason to fire you. I think in your heart you know what is going to happen to the baby. You and your husband are going to be taking care of the child is that what you want when you thought you were done? To many young moms get all excited over new babys and all the new "stuff" and all the attention but the bottom line when the child hits two it is hard and $$ how many want to adopt then? Some times the hardest decions are the best decions. If you would like to talk my email is digger.donita@gmail.com

Robin - posted on 03/02/2009

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Quoting Juanita:



yea, but she was in the bathroom the hole time she was there. I'm not sure what to do!





   Even if she was in the bathroom the whole time, they can't fire her if they know she's pregnant.  They can encourage her to take a Leave of Absence.  I know someone who had morning sickness so bad that she had to leave work.  Her work said they wouldn't and couldn't fire her.  If your daughter didn't tell her work that she was pregnant, that is a different story.

Charlie - posted on 03/02/2009

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The biggest thing of all is to stay supportive. I know its hard. I both agree and disagree with your husbands actions. She does need to find a job even if its just part time. Many places even though the economy is bad will hire, she can't be timid. As a previous mom posted being a nanny is a great way to work in a home environment and get experience with this new responsibility that is coming her way. I am only 22 and Just had a baby last September, my husband and I were engaged and living with his parents when we found out that we were going to have a baby. I had just lost my job and he luckily had a good job. We were so NOT prepared but I picked up a part time nanny job that i had had in highschool and though it was hard (5 kids with morning sickness is not easy) we made it. Your daughter can do this. A good place to find jobs as a nanny is Craigslist.com or tlcforkids.com.

Kerry - posted on 03/01/2009

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My little sister is in almost the same position 19 about to be unemployed she works the after school program have her go to school my sister does have some time left but it seems like everyone is starting to go back to school bc there is no work at least when the economy picks up she could have something to help her out

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Quoting Juanita:



She has always made responsibible choices without being "made." I'm not sure what has happened but that part of Annie seems to have dissapeared. Now its almost like shes thinks...they will have to help me...they have no choice. I hate that. I want to help because she is trying, not because we have to. With a baby involved it seems we only have 2 options. 1. help 2. Or do it all! I love her but I'm mad at her to for not stepping up & doing the right thing. This is so out of her character!  I'll like to choke her!






She's scared right now. I can totally relate (I was 22, unmarried and living with my parents while in school...I also was a very responsible girl and it took my parents totally by surprise). There may also be a bit of denial going on as well. When she starts to feel that baby move and begins to really show, reality will set in. Her reaction right now is natural and something every good parent has taught their chidren, "If I'm in trouble, Mom and Dad will set it right." If when the time comes, you don't "do everything", she will "do something". Make option #1 the only option and show her what she needs to do with this baby. It will be OK!!! I really feel for you!

Courtney - posted on 03/01/2009

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I have a question that no one else has asked. Is she planning on keeping the baby or giving it up for adoption? Because the end results are very different. If she's going to keep the baby, she needs a lesson in hard work, and needs to find a job. Because life is going to get very difficult for her, unless you as parents are planning on taking care of all her needs. If she is thinking about adoption, then why work now. Let her take care of herself and the baby and then she can get back into the routine after baby. Is she finished with school? That would be a concern too. I hope I don't sound too judgmental, I'm not judging, just trying to be realistic.

Jolene - posted on 03/01/2009

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maybe sell the car and buy a used car that wont have any repayments, this would be easier for everyone, can i just ask did she loose her job because she was having morning sickness all day? that is discrimination. i fell pregnant just before my 18th birthday i was still living at home i had a job but had to leave as it was high risk environment, i went through the rest of my pregnancy being supported by my partner and my family, i am now 27 have 3 children stiil with my partner and we own our own house and car and im training to become a midwife, i couldnt have got where i am today without the support of my family, both emotionally and financially way back when i was 18,  your daughter needs support now shes probably feeling pretty scared and nervous and all day morning sickness isnt pleasant at all i had it first time round and to be honest i was glad i wasnt working because it lasted all through my pregnancy. i coulndnt have worked. your daughter will find a job sooner or later, dont worry or fret once the car situation is sorted out things will work out just fine!!! hope this helps!!!

Juanita - posted on 03/01/2009

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She has always made responsibible choices without being "made." I'm not sure what has happened but that part of Annie seems to have dissapeared. Now its almost like shes thinks...they will have to help me...they have no choice. I hate that. I want to help because she is trying, not because we have to. With a baby involved it seems we only have 2 options. 1. help 2. Or do it all! I love her but I'm mad at her to for not stepping up & doing the right thing. This is so out of her character!  I'll like to choke her!

Juanita - posted on 03/01/2009

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She has always made responsibible choices without being "made." I'm not sure what has happened but that part of Annie seems to have dissapeared. Now its almost like shes thinks...they will have to help me...they have no choice. I hate that. I want to help because she is trying, not because we have to. With a baby involved it seems we only have 2 options. 1. help 2. Or do it all! I love her but I'm mad at her to for not stepping up & doing the right thing. This is so out of her character!  I'll like to choke her!

Juanita - posted on 03/01/2009

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you seem so sweet...thanks for all your time & concern. I wanna be the best mom out there. Annie has always worked until now. I'm afraid she knows me well enough to know this baby will not want for anything as long as she stays close enough for me to see the needs. I just don't want to do it all. I want her to show some responsibility & "some want to." I want her to take care of this baby...but if she doesn't, I will.

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Well first the best place she can be rignt now is at home with parents who love her. The news of her pregnancy is new to both your daughter and yourselves. Please don't make any decisions regarding the car etc. until you can be sure that they are motivated by what is the best for your daughter and the baby and not by your emotions over having a very young,unmarried, pregnant daughter. Ultimately what do you hope to achieve by taking the car away? The main focus needs to be on her health and the health of your grandchild. Yes, she needs a job.... so maybe instead of focusing  on the car situation and who is paying for what.. .focus on helping her get a job. Focus on getting her prepared for motherhood and parenting. Personally at 19, I think she is better off enrolled in parenting classes and enrolled in a certificate program at the community college while there is still time for her to set her future up for something other than minimum wage. Please ask yourself.. Is this really about the car?

Crystal - posted on 03/01/2009

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i would just not let them know i was pregnant right now she has to find work and even so they can not hair a pregnantly person just on that i was pregnant at 18 and had my baby at 19 and my parents helped me out a lot and still are i nanny till i was 7 months pregnant and i worked in a restaurant till i gave birth pretty much you need to stress that all thow you guys with help her out it is still her baby and she is the one that needs to take care of it. i live with my parenst cause i can't afford not to but i pay my own bills and buy everything i need for my kids what my parents give to them is just that a present with no strings. my parents sat down with me and laid out my bills and what bills will come with the baby and i understood that i had to do what ever job i could to bring in money to support my baby i even breastfead her till she was 18 months old so i did not have to buy formula. and now you said nothing about the baby father so if he is their he should be included if not then it makes it a little hard on her and you guys but with some support and hard lesson for her you guys will do fine just stress that her baby she has to take care of it. but i would take away the care no job no money for gas the bus is cheaper

Brittany - posted on 03/01/2009

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idk how helpful this will be but i just had a baby in january and im 19 i was living with my parents and my car is in their name  and they made the payments for the last few months of my pregnancy because i was a delivery driver for a pizza place and had to go on bedrest. it is illegal to discriminate against pregnant people so if she is capable of doing the job they cant not hire her for that reason and they cant fire her so if she isnt showing her best bet would be not to tell them until after. i understand about the car note. but it will be difficult to find a job not to mention stressful working full time while pregnant it can be done tho. if you have any call centers in your area they pay well and she will be able to sit down while working.  hope her morning sickness gets better. if she needs someone her age to talk to ill be on here. i have a lil bit of a headstart on her so if she has questions i may have answers. hope this helped

Skylur - posted on 03/01/2009

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She should go to a temp agency. She doesn't need to tell any of her interviewers that she is pregnant.

Deana - posted on 03/01/2009

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My son will be 6 months old next week. I lost my really good job at 6 months pregnant. (Fired because I was pregnant the manager covered his butt with other reasons.) I had my own apartment, a car, paid all my own bills and had a somewhat decent savings account. I applied for jobs every single day until a week before my due date. I had 2 companies offer me interviews as soon as I was ready to come back to work after my leave, so it wasn't a complete waste of time. Eventually the money ran out. I tried to make things work with the father, but cut my losses when drugs came into the picture. This meant moving into a hotel until the judge gave me permission to leave the state to move back in with my parents. My mom paid for the hotel, my attorney, the cost of moving and has helped me keep up with my bills where I couldn't pay it all. (I won my unemployment case, so that helped.) When I finally got home, I started applying for jobs right away. I've been back 2 1/2 months and only now have my second interview. I have been babysitting in the meantime and it's helped a lot. I've also registered for school because my education stops at high school. It's hard finding a job right now, but giving up won't get her any further. But I truly agree with others who have said this before me. Now is the time to further education. Any school will help her apply for federal grants (the kind you don't have to pay back) and loans are a last resort. (The rewards are 10fold the cost.) They also have student work programs.

How this relates to my parents support: My parents support has been tremendous!! An absolute live saver. As far as financial support, they have paid everything I could not, but there were limits. I had/have to be putting in a discernable effort into finding a job. Spending money on crap I didn't need was a no-no. (I have more leniency now that I'm not borrowing, thanks to babysitting.) They never said I *had* to go to school, but they strongly encouraged it. I'm choosing to go because I see it now as the best chance to make a better life for my son and I. My parents have bought pretty much all the diapers, wipes, formula, toys, medicine etc. They keep a running tally of everything purchased, every dollar amount loaned and any monies paid back. I currently owe them thousands of dollars and I intend to pay every cent back. I never wanted a hand out, I supported myself before and I will continue to do so to the best of my ability. The emotional support has been more than I could ever express gratitude for. Especially when you consider the great amounts of strain between my mother and I until this time last year. My mom has been there at every turn with ideas, tricks, tips and a shoulder to cry on with no judgement. We have an understanding that she is free to offer any advice she wants, but respects that I am his mother and make the final call. That has been a crucial part to making this less than ideal situation fortunate. Another thing, my parents have offered all this support, but made it clear from the get go that while they will help me to the best of their ability, they do have limited means and that I am expected to pay things back and that if I start taking advantage of their generosity, there will be consequences. They help with his care, but it's understood that the majority of his care falls on my shoulders, they are there to help me, not be his parents. They watch his for interviews and a few other important things I can't have him with me, but with the exception of a few "free" hours every couple of months, if I want to go somewhere or do something, I have to take him with me or exchange childcare with a friend. And I appreciate that. I think it would do me more harm then good if my parents took him whenever so I could do whatever.

I know this is long winded and probably a little off topic in places, but I wanted to share with you from the perspective of someone who is about 9 months ahead of your daughter. In short, my parents are supporting me in every way possible, but there are reasonable limitations and expectations. I think that is crucial in helping your daughter accept her responsibility but to flourish into self-sustaining, self-sufficient woman with a deeper respect, appreciation, admiration and love for her mom.

Alaina - posted on 03/01/2009

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With the economy they way it is these days, it is hard to find a job. Especially pregnant. I know this sounds low, but when she goes into an interview she shouldn't tell them that she's pregnant. When I went into my interview with my job (which I have been with for 5 years now) I didn't tell them I was pregnant. When I finally did, they couldn't fire me over that. So I proved to them I was willing to work just as hard and with just as much over time that I possibly could, which has REALLY paid off.

As for the car and such, because of the economy she needs to look into jobs that involve retail or restaurants. Fortunately where I am living I know ALL our malls are hiring people right away. I would give your daughter 90 days to get a job and save some money so she can start paying for the car or whatever you would like. I keep stressing, especially the way the economy right now, that is fair, normally I would say give it 30 days, but again with the economy, its hard.

I wish the best of luck to her and hopefully everything goes well!

Good luck!

Katie - posted on 03/01/2009

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Jobs can't discriminate because of pregnancy. It's ILLEGAL! So don't let companies do that to her. Plus she doesn't have to tell them she's pregnant. She could be 9 months along and be obviously pregnant and she doesn't have to say anything. And an employer can't make any assumptions either. Good Luck!

Ria - posted on 03/01/2009

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My sister was pregnant at 18. My nephew is now 21! My parents were in the same situation as you they didnt really know how to support her finacially. There are channels she can go through to get the support she needs to finish her education with the help of day care and baby sitting. My sister is now 39 and runs her own Nursery! The best thing I think your daughter could do is go to see someone at your local citizens advice and they will help her in every way they can. My sister is proof that no matter how young you have your kids that your dreams and desires are still possible!!!! My sister also did all this with out the aid of the father who even after 21 years still has not seen what a fine young man his son has become. No matter what anything is possible!!! Hope this helps and GOOD LUCK!

Laura - posted on 03/01/2009

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Hi,  I was pregnant at 16, married, went to school, and worked.  It is possible to achieve the things we most desire.  We do need the love and support of our family.  If my mom and dad hadnt been there I would have been lost.  She needs that first.  Where is dad?  His family could help with $$ and transportation to doc appts ect.  He is 50% responsible.You just have to be determined to do whats best for your daughter and your grandbaby.  I dont know what county you live in but she need to go to family services and get medicaid and WIC.  Someone can not hire or fire you based on a pregancy that discrimination.

Ally - posted on 03/01/2009

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Quoting Juanita:



Carrie- yes...please pray. I feel like we are being so mean. I have told her we will never make her move out. Her & they baby can live her. I am just afraid she will have this baby & turn around & do this again if we make it to easy. I've seen it happen .






The dad is looking for a job to. I am a christain so I won't let him move in. I told them they need to decide if they want to marry or what. He lives with  a friend. Annie, my duaghter, says their place is so nasty she's never going to raise her baby there.






what am i to do? I do want to support her but how far do I go?






I would continue to do as much as you can and are financially able to do. I saw you said she wanted to be a nurse before getting pregnant and as an RN i would highly recommend going that route. I was pregnant while getting my nursing degree and took my boards when my daughter was just three days old.  If she really is interested it is a very great job for a young mom. I work on the weekends and make almost as much as my husband does working full time as a paramedic. so i am able to be home with my daughter all week.



 



I also understand your feelings about not wanting the babies father to move in but I would suggest rethinking that position simply for your daughter and grandchilds sake. They have already made an adult decision and will be raising a child together regardless...and to allow him the easy way out and make it so he can't be there to help as much as possible during the pregnancy just isn't fair to anyone and gives him an easy out. If you are willing to let your daughter live there (which i think is great) i would insist that he live there as well and become part of the family bc it's hard enough being pregnant without the father there as much as possible.



 



It may be a hard couple of years but if you are able to support your daughter emotionally and financially and insist that she get sometype of degree you will be giving her the opportunity to be successful and have a career in just a few short years and it will be so worth it. I was pregnant and in school and go married when both my husband and i were still in college and 13 weeks pregnant. My parents continued to pay for my school and my living expense and my car up until my daughter was 2 months old  and my husband and i had both graduated and we had saved up enough money. now we are doing great  and both have wonderful jobs where one of us is always able to stay home with the baby.



 



I hope it works out we will be praying for you guys!



 



 

Heather - posted on 03/01/2009

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Hey Juanita, First congratulations on the new grandbaby, even if it isn't the most ideal circumstances. If your daughter wants to go back to school and get her nursing degree, she should really consider not getting married right away. As terrible as it may sound, she is far more likely to qualify for financial help if she is a single mother. I am not saying that I condone this behavior but sometimes you have to look at hte big picture, if getting engaged but putting off the actual wedding is going to help your daughter be able to provide for this child in the long run that should be her focus. THere are a lot of programs out there to help single moms who want to go back to school but barely and financial aid to help once she gets married. Make sure she weighs the pros and cons before she makes her descision. Good Luck to you and your family.

Nicole - posted on 03/01/2009

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hi my names nicole i fell pregnant when i was 16 i lived on the gold coast and the first thing i did was went out and got a job it was at a local shop i was only on a small pay but i went to the op shops to get most my baby stuff befor he was born i think what helpd me was the support i had. and nowing that no matter what ill allways have my mums and dads support. now im 20 and i living in townsville and have a day job while my son goes to day cear own my on car out right and allways have money left over so all your daughter needs is love and support and shell get through the ruff times i wish u and your daughter good luck i hope my story helpd a little ....

Beri - posted on 03/01/2009

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Alawsuit in this day and age is a waste of time don't listen to advice like that. You'll spend more time fighting and less time making a change. Has your daughter really decided that she wants to raise a baby and never go through her 20's without that huge rsponsibility. Let her talk to other teen mothers to see if that is really what she wants to do. If so look for a job at a store related to babies. TOys R Us, Babies R Us, a kids clothing store etc... they aren't going to discriminate. She's still going to need assistance but don't start taking things away from her immediately because she is having trouble finding a job. That would just tell her that you and your husband think she's not trying and that she's a failure. My cousin killed himself 2 years ago, he was a teenage that felt that his family gave up on him because him aunt and uncle pushed him out of the house hoping he would grow up and make the effort ot become resposible, all he had to do was find a job while he was going to college and it became too much for him. Don't do that to your child, that is an extreme situation but who's to say when something extreme will happen. Good Luck and no matter how frustrated you and your husband get try to show her your supportive.

Judy - posted on 02/28/2009

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Juanita; tell her to get any job out there if she can find one; DO NOT TELL THEM SHE IS PREGNANT; at 3 months she has no belly after woods she can always say at the time of hire she did not realize she was pregnant because she had irregular periods & they can't proove it you know thats discrimination against title 7 they are not allowed to do that to her or any other girl. Judy

Sarah - posted on 02/28/2009

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Hi, I know it must be hard on you right now, but you also need to remember your daughter is having a lot going on right now and you really need to think about the fact that everything you do or don't do to help her affects your grandchild. Maybe instead of saying that her and the baby can stay with you forever but her boyfriend cant, consider setting a definite time frame for them to be out on their own if you let them both live there. If you help both of them out for a little while when the baby is first born, soon they should be able to have enough money saved to get a place of their own. Also, then both your daughter and her boyfriend will have to take responsibility for their child together, even if they don't get married their child deserves both parents. You are right to expect her to find a job. If she isn't showing, she does not need to disclose that she is pregnant immediately, but yes, companies tend to not want to hire pregnant women unless they are looking for short term help. Which is crappy and not fair but unfortunately there isn't anything you can do about it, you can't prove thats why she isn't getting a job, the economy is terrible right now. Good luck in everything

Kayla - posted on 02/28/2009

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have her apply at maternity stores, daycares, baby clothes stores, and stores geared at baby, thats the best option also craigslist for babysitting gigs until she finds a stable job, there are tons of ways to make money until you get can get yourself situated. tough love is not mean. I was 19 when I was preggo to and my mother did the same thing. I got off my butt and figured it out. economy is crummy but it's only gunna worse, and she better get a job now before she starts showing discrimination may be illegal, but it still happens and there is nothing we can do about it. my best advice get in school. student loans are the only thing concrete now a days and you can't do anything with out a degree, I'm now 22 have a 3 year old daughter and am in my senior year of college. my mom helped me my first 2 years of school with transportation and housing and I was able to save up enough money with my part time and odd jobs to get my own place and my own transportation.

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I KNOW THE FEELING ON EVERYONE TURNING THEIR HEADS WHEN THEY FIND OUT YOUR PREGGO...I HAD THE SAME PROBLEM A WHILE BACK.....JUST BE PATIENT WITH HER AND LET HER KNOW YOU SUPPORT HER NAD THAT YALL WONT GIVE UP HOPE....AS LONG AS YOU TRY YOU WILL SUCCEED!! GOOD LUCK HONEY...

Shawn - posted on 02/28/2009

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its really hard to give any advice.  everyone has a different opinion but in the end, you can just hope that your choices were for the best.  Im not sure what skills she could have at 19, but its hard to have a job at any age, let alone raise a child.  does she need to continue her education so she can get a decent job to support herself and the new baby eventually on her own?  also, if she lost her job, not sure if she can collect unemployment.  if not, theres always welfare.  they could give her & the baby health care which is very important, also, they could help with the small amount of financial help, as well as help her to achieve the goal of being able to be independent eventually possibly with some sort of job training, education.

Timmi - posted on 02/28/2009

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I know the car is yours and your husband's, but have you thought about trying to sell it and getting a more affordable car? You would probably have some extra cash after you sold it and bought something else which can help everyone out. I know where she is coming from. My parents paid off the last 2 years on my car cause I got pregnant and couldn't afford them anymore. I wish we had sold it and bought something more affordable. Now even though the car is paid off I need to to get a different car because it just isn't practical and big enough to but 2 car seats and 2 adults into comfortably!!. Sell the car!! And best of luck to your family, I was so grateful for all the support from my family that I have received over the years, I know they have done too much for me, but it has helped me become even closer than ever with my parents. I know things look so bleak but honestly you're about to become grandparents and though that is scary you should enjoy the new life that you are about to become blessed with. God and fate have a funny way of making the sun shine and life better in the end you just have to be strong.

Amber - posted on 02/28/2009

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When I was 5 months old with my 4th child, I needed to pick up a second job. They knew I was pregnant and hired me anyway. I took a shorter maternity leave, to show good faith, but things have worked out great! I just got a promotion and my daughter just turned 9 months old! Yes with the economy, it is very hard to find a job, but she may have to "stoop" below her level and work at Wal-Mart, or flip burgers for a while. I did it, lots of moms have. I was a single mom for a very long time. When my car was down and I couldn't fix it, I took cabs everywhere, but now, am with a very supportive man, and we're even discussing marriage! Have her talk to her doctor about maybe getting on something for the nausea, or she may just have to tough it out.

Riikah - posted on 02/28/2009

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well....she can work at home, computer advertisment or crafts. I used to make crafts and pastries and sell them from home. It's very good. All you need are supplies and a computer. :)

[deleted account]

She does not have to tell them she is pregnant they do not ask that. And yes take the keyes away she needs to be responsable. She is old enough to get pregnant she is opld enough to get a job at micky d's or wherever. She will have to get a job w/in walking or bus distance DO NOT let her make u out to be the bad one or responsable. U know U may need to help raise that baby. SHE CAN ALSO GOTO THE WELFARE DEPT AND GET HELP AND MAYBE GO TO COLLEGE, i HAVE NO IDEA WHAT UR CIRCUMSTANCES ARE SO i DO NOT JUDGE YOU OR HER.Sorry about the caps I hit the wrong button

Joanne - posted on 02/28/2009

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You poor thing, but what about keeping her home to keep house and do all the erands, and odd jobs, cleaning etc, cleaning friends homes too. i know it wont bring in money directly but what about the saving to you. She could study all those parenting books and be really prepared. buy all the baby stuff from second hand stores or friends to keep costs down, she could plan to breast feed and use cloth nappies all much cheaper too.did she finish school? she could use this time to do some intensive study to better educate her self. do some volunteer work at child care centre for the experience and then possibly use their care sfter baby arrives and work for them.

April - posted on 02/28/2009

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I think the CNA certification is a really good idea if she wants to go to school for nursing. I am about to graduate from nursing school in May as a young mom with a 4yr old and a 2yr old. It can be done and I don't know the prerequisites for nursing schools in Indiana but in Minnesota you have to complete the CNA program before you begin the program so at least it would be a step in the right direction. I took my CNA course through the American Red Cross and it was for 6 weeks every Saturday from 8a-4p I think so she could definitely complete that while pregnant and nursing homes are always looking for good CNA help! Good luck with everything!

Rosie - posted on 02/28/2009

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I would have thought that it is extremely difficult to find a job whilst being pregnant. I know that it shouldn't be but they will make other excuses not to hire her. Is she still with her partner? If so it is his responsability to help her out, she doesn't need the stress really

Ashley - posted on 02/28/2009

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maybe you just cant afford to pay all of her bills but you want to be supportive. not all of us have the luxury of having our parents let us live with them and pay our bills. i think you should consider selling the car and buying a cheaper one. you can find one thats decent and affordable. she should be able to get loans and grants being a 'single' mom if she wants to go to school. maybe she has a boyfriend but i would get what i could by being a single mom. there are alot of programs for moms. and by the way, in some states you can be hired and fired with no reason at all. in my state they dont have to hire you if they dont want to and dont have to give reason and they can fire you with no reason also. now you can draw unemployment if you get fired for no reason. but i wanted to point this out bcsome people have said its illegal not to hire a pregnant person. maybe in their state. but not all states. there are alot of good ideas on here like babysitting or cleaning your house for you. but she definitely does not need to be laying around all day. number it makes her lazy. number two its not going to help her in her pregnancy. i worked full time up until my due date. pregnant women are very capable as you know. i know with the economy its hard finding a job but she needs to go walking or do some yard/house work. and as for the boyfriend, the harder you push, the harder she'll push back. tell her you do not approve of him living with you but you're willing to do family gatherings including the boyfriend and when her life is stable you'll give your blessing to move out with him if she wants. i got pregnant at 19 and had to move in with my parents. it was very hard on them and after the baby was 6 months i moved out. bc i wanted to. but i was glad to have my mum for the whole thing. i really needed her. and she can continually look for a job while pregnant and after the baby is born.

Shelly - posted on 02/28/2009

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Maybe she should consider substitute teaching.  If she has a high school diploma or GED, and no record of child abuse, she would qualify and the schools are ALWAYS needing subs-trust me I'm a teacher with 5 kids who quite frequently needs a sub.  As a substitute, she can work when she wants to and say no if she is sick or has a dr. appointment.  They pay is good and it's a lot of fun.

Lori - posted on 02/28/2009

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is there a head start in your area? if there is there should also be arrly head start... find out from dfs all the different ways she can get help from the county... she should be on medicaid for the birth getting wic and food stamps and then there are educational programs for the unwed mothers so they can get assistance finding sufficiant jobs thru the county. I think it is wonderful that you are there for her... and the best thing is to lead her to the water... if she will drink is her choice! LOL

Carrie - posted on 02/27/2009

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I moved to a new state 2 weeks after i found out i was pregnant and had to essentially start over .. it took me 6 months to find a job but i finally did in fast food.. not my ideal job but none the less a job... when it comes down to it you have to take what ever is offered in this economy ... but i was hired even 7 months pregnant and they were more than willing to be flexable with my 8 weeks of leave

Stacey - posted on 02/27/2009

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It is extremely difficult to get hired while pregnant. I would suggest have her keep trying but, not to panelize her if she can’t. it is also difficult to raise a child without a car so, it won’t help your grandbaby if mom doesn’t have a car. I would tell her she needs to apply for help from WIC, social services or housing. This will keep some of the stain off of you and enable her to raise her own child and be responsible. Some programs (I.E. TANF) from social services will force her to apply and find a job.

[deleted account]

My daughter, who is 21 today, got pregnant when she was 17. I supported her, went to all of her doctor appointments, allowed the father of the baby to move in with us until they got married and got their own place. All I can say is this: You have 2 choices, embrace it, or run from it. My grand daughter is the BOMB for me and I love that little girl like no love that is known by anyone other than a "Gramma"
The one thing I didn't do, was set boundaries for helping around the house, etc...
So definatly, set boundaries and let her know if you are helping her, she needs to help you!

Emmalena - posted on 02/27/2009

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im a pregnant teen with a seven month old baby girl and im unemployed i wa sin her position (exept without the car) with my first daughter.  I lost my job three months pregnant  and it is nearly impossible to find a job when you look pregnant or they know because once they know you pregnant then they know they will eventually have to pay mat leave and more inconvenece... i know a friend who was also a pregnant mom that lost her job aswell and she went on mat leave even though she has no job i quess the goverment funds matt leave for non workin mom (i had no idea)  if she is looking for a job i suggest letting her keep or use the car at least to get around pregnant and walkin everywhere doesnt make me a happy prego hope i could help

Melissa - posted on 02/27/2009

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I don't know what to say about how much you should be helping her out. I got pregnant with my first at 22 and my in-laws did A LOT to help me and my husband (boyfriend at the time)get on our feet.(My parents weren't in any sort of position to help us finacially but helped in other ways). They(inlaws) bought us a mobile home out of the money that they had put away for his wedding and helped us monthly with a lot as well.  My husband had just finished post secondary and I was working in a local retail store when I got pregnant but was sick literally 24/7 with my first. I was in the hospital at least once a week on an IV for rehydration. I eventually had to leave work when I started passing out on the job. But not once did they ask me to leave. So honestly if it wasn't for their support finacially and emotionally I don't know where we would be now. Heck I am 28 with baby #3 due any day now and they still help us out all the time. nothing like they used to but there is the odd time that we go to them for help.



But as for your daughter finding a job. Has she tried Wal-Mart, honestly they are a crapshoot job, but they are usually so desperate for help that they hire anyone. And their turnover rate is so high they don't care if you are pregnant or not. I know this because after my first was born I worked there part-time for 4 years and my husband was a manager there for 2 years. Mind you this is in Canada but, my husband says the it is pretty much the same in the states as well. Just a suggestion. And the discount that you get helps a lot especially when stocking up on baby supplies.



Just wanted to mention that me and my husband didn't get married because I got pregnant. We actually didn't get married until we were together for 8 years and had already had our 2nd child. I kinda felt I had to throw that out there cause there were a lot of issues mentioned in the thread about people getting married just because they're is pregnant.

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