unsure if I should have my unborn baby boy circumcised.

~Jennifer - posted on 12/16/2009

I think Mandy ended this thread perfectly, so......

Thank you, Ladies, for all of your replies.

Mandie - posted on 12/16/2009

I wasnt going to post on this topic because it is VERY CLEARLY an issue for lots of people. I have a son and I wont say what our decision was either way b/c I dont think it's helpful among these MASSES of opinions, some of them quite vitriolic I might add. I will say that we made the decision together as I am not a man and my husband is, plus we are BOTH his parents. What I mainly wanted to say was; I dont think you should listen too much too other people's opinions- my hubby always says opinions are like butt-holes, everyone's got one- the best advice I've seen- from Sharon Grey- was that you should wait until he's born to decide. Sounds silly, but often once you are presented with a little person it is easier to make up yr mind either way. The other thing is, as a parent, yr whole life you will be judged on the decisions you make regarding yr children- to vaccinate or not; to be a stay at home carer or not; to educate them in school or at home etc- the point is whatever you do people will judge, it up to you whether you let that sway you or not. We ended up making this decision based on what WE thought was best for our son, after our own research- I personally dont feel I have to justify that to anyone, I am his mother and I did what we thought was best. Also dont listen too much too statistics- everything can be skewed depending on the motivation of the researcher/s.

Krista - posted on 12/16/2009

Quoting Rebecca:

Quoting Theresa:

I did read some of the posts. There were ones who said it was mutilation, you wouldn't do that to a girl, why put them through the pain, etc. People pierce baby girls' ears all the time. There is NO medical reason for that, it's simply for looks. But all I can talk about is my experience. I had the same question when I was pregnant the first time. I was talking to my parents about it and found out that my dad's brother was not circumcised. My dad said that he had lots of problems keeping it clean and got infections from time to time. My uncle made sure to get his son circed so that he didn't have to go through that. So I did get both of my sons done and if I have another I would get him done as well. They brought my son to the nursery to have it done. I did not witness it. They brought him back as soon as it was over. I could tell he had cried, but he was not crying when they gave him to me. He never cried afterward when we changed diapers or gave baths either. As far as I could tell it didn't bother him. By the way, I have a girl too. My son seemed no more upset after his circ then my daughter did after the PKU test. Just in case you don't know, they take a razor blade and make a little cut in the baby's heal to get blood for the PKU test.

To the people who compared circumcision to piercing a baby girl's ears -- that is ridiculous.  (Personally I don't think that's right either -- our culture forces children to grow up too fast as it is, and I think we should let our daughters at least ASK to have their bodies physically altered in the name of "beauty" before we start doing that kind of thing to them.)

But this leads me to an important point -- since so many of you did not even go with your son (whch i think is SO cowardly) while he was mutilated, to comfort him and witness what you were putting him through, you have no idea what circumcision involves.  It is not " a little nip" as Meredith Viera so stupidly called it on a recent ep of The Today Show.  Allow me to educate you.

At birth, the foreskin is adhered to the glans (head) of the penis the same way that your fingernail is adhered to your finger.  Circumcision involved forcing a medical instrument between the foreskin and the glans and ripping them apart.  Even with anesthetic, it's excruciatingly painful and many babies go into a state of shock.  This has been proven in studies where the baby's heart rate, oxygenation, and stress hormone levels (measured through blood tests before, during, and after) were monitored.

The correct comparison is not to piercing a girl's ears, but to cutting off the hood of the clitoris.  But this does not happen in the US because IT'S ILLEGAL TO ALTER THE GENITALS OF A BABY GIRL.  However, it's still legal to perform routine infant circumcision, with no medical indication, purely for cosmetic reasons.  It's ethically wrong -- it's not the parent's choice, it's the boy's choice to make once he's an adult.  Leave his body alone!

This. Exactly. Read up on the actual details of the procedure -- it's horrific, and I'm absolutely disgusted that so many of you have put your baby boys through this because they might get an infection later. They might also get testicular cancer later...so are you going to have them neutered?

I usually try to be neutral, as I believe every mother has the right to raise her child as she sees fit, as long as the child is not being harmed.  But children are being harmed! I don't care if they're "fine" a few minutes later -- that's completely irrelevant. You. Are. Hurting. Your. Child. For. No. Good. Reason. 

I have yet to see one mother on here who had her boy circ'd for a legitimate medical reason. So far, all of the reasons I've seen have fallen into the following categories:

Aesthetics -- they want their boy to look like Daddy (because we all know that boys spend so much time looking at their father's pecker), or they don't want some future shallow b**ch of a woman to dump their kid because he has a foreskin. Guess what? In 2005, circumcision rates in the U.S. were at 56%. It's dropping every single year. By the time your kid is old enough for some girl to be looking at his wang, uncut penises will be JUST as common as cut ones. 



"Cleanliness" -- they seem to think that keeping a penis clean is some onerous task, requiring an advanced degree, three weeks and a Sherpa. Circumcision is extremely rare in Europe, Asia, Latin America and Oceania. I don't hear about an epidemic of penile infection there. And the American Academy of Pediatrics finds NO link between uncut penises and higher rates of UTIs. None. 



Religious tradition -- I haven't seen too much of that here, but my response is that there are a lot of religious traditions that have fallen by the wayside, because they are no longer practical to this day and age. It's called "thinking for yourself" -- I highly recommend it.

All of those reasons are complete bullcrap. All of them. You are hurting your child for no good reason. All I can hope is that someday, circumcision will be legally outlawed as the child abuse that it is. 

Diamonique - posted on 12/16/2009

Hi,

I am due in Jan and I am going through the same situation. I have did so much research on this decision that it really is no real good reason to get it done or not get it done. The procedure is cosmetic it is not medical. I myself choose not to due to the medical NO need plus, the pain that they have due to the doctors forcing their foreskin back. a lot of people say they get it done for hygienic reasons wise but, thats false the foreskin is fuse down until they get older, so pulling the skin back is hurtful to them. They have did a recent survey and a lot of people are not getting the procedure done. The best thing to do is research, watch movies of the procedure, learn the pros and cons for both and then decide on your own.

Rebecca - posted on 12/16/2009

Quoting Danielle:

Also, another reason I chose to get my son circumsized is that if for any reason he got an infection later on in his life and had to have his foreskin removed then...eek...just imagine the pain. If you have your son circumsized before he is 3 weeks old his penis will not be AS sensitive. Plus the doctor uses a local anesthetic to freeze it. My son slept through the procedure. I brought him to the doctor sleeping and they brought him back to me sleeping. Yes, his penis looked red and raw for a few days but it didn't seem to bother him any. He wasn't overly fussy. They used the ring method to remove his foreskin. After about 5 days the ring fell off and that was the end of it. The only thing we had to do at home was make sure to give him a good soak in tub every day for 7 days.

Where did you get the information that an infant's penis is somehow less sensitive before 3 weeks of age?  This is the kind of ridiculous misinformation that people use to rationalize doing this horrible, horrible thing to fragile, innocent newborn boys.

And your reasoning about infections is also ridiculous.  The risk of infection for a properly-cared-for intact penis is no higher than for any other properly-cared-for body part.  Bad hygiene in any body part can lead to problems.  Improperly manipulating the foreskin before it naturally retracts is the number one cause for any sort of problem in the intact penis.  But in any case, a knowledgable health professional can help solve virutally any problem with an intact penis WITHOUT requiring circumcision.  Your child will have many infections in his/her life which will NOT require radical surgery on the infected body part.  The greatest risk to any baby boy's penis, in terms of infection, is actually from being circumcised and then sitting in a caustic and bacteria-filled diaper.

Kaula - posted on 12/16/2009

i have twin boys and they are both circumsized we had no problems and as long as u kep it cleaned u shouldnt any, but i agree with all of the other ladies its your choice. good luck! and congrats

Rebecca - posted on 12/16/2009

Quoting Angela:

In the end....it's up to you and your partner. I don't have a boy, but if I do, I think I want him circ'd. It's sort of like piercing a little girls ears. They won't remember it the younger you do it. I knew a man, who was NOT circ'd and got remarried in his 50's. His wife, I guess didn't like it. So he got circ'd. Do you really want him to have to go do that when he's old enough to REMEMBER how it felt to walk around with such a painful sore on his penis? This man couldn't wear underwear/pants for a LONG time. He wore like a sheet wrapped around him for weeks. Do you want your son to have to get circ'd later in life cuz his wife doesn't like the way it looks/feels? But, like I said in the beginning, its up to you and your partner. You decide, but I think it'd be mean to your son to have to have it done later if his wife/gf doesn't like it....

See above for my response about the comparison to ear piercing.  It is NOT the same thing at all!

As for your last point, I hope my son will be smart enough to RUN the other way if some woman tries to force him to mutilate his penis because she doesn't like it!  Your comment shows a complete lack of understanding of the purpose of the foreskin and and natural function of the intact penis.  Intact men the world over have very fulfilling sex lives with very satisfied partners.  And if my son has poor hygiene as a teen/adult, and that turns off potential girlfriends, so be it.  I think you can agree that ANY man with poor hygiene habits, whether with regards to his penis, his butt, or anywhere else, is a turn off to women!

Rebecca - posted on 12/16/2009

Quoting Theresa:

I did read some of the posts. There were ones who said it was mutilation, you wouldn't do that to a girl, why put them through the pain, etc. People pierce baby girls' ears all the time. There is NO medical reason for that, it's simply for looks. But all I can talk about is my experience. I had the same question when I was pregnant the first time. I was talking to my parents about it and found out that my dad's brother was not circumcised. My dad said that he had lots of problems keeping it clean and got infections from time to time. My uncle made sure to get his son circed so that he didn't have to go through that. So I did get both of my sons done and if I have another I would get him done as well. They brought my son to the nursery to have it done. I did not witness it. They brought him back as soon as it was over. I could tell he had cried, but he was not crying when they gave him to me. He never cried afterward when we changed diapers or gave baths either. As far as I could tell it didn't bother him. By the way, I have a girl too. My son seemed no more upset after his circ then my daughter did after the PKU test. Just in case you don't know, they take a razor blade and make a little cut in the baby's heal to get blood for the PKU test.

To the people who compared circumcision to piercing a baby girl's ears -- that is ridiculous.  (Personally I don't think that's right either -- our culture forces children to grow up too fast as it is, and I think we should let our daughters at least ASK to have their bodies physically altered in the name of "beauty" before we start doing that kind of thing to them.)

But this leads me to an important point -- since so many of you did not even go with your son (whch i think is SO cowardly) while he was mutilated, to comfort him and witness what you were putting him through, you have no idea what circumcision involves.  It is not " a little nip" as Meredith Viera so stupidly called it on a recent ep of The Today Show.  Allow me to educate you.

At birth, the foreskin is adhered to the glans (head) of the penis the same way that your fingernail is adhered to your finger.  Circumcision involved forcing a medical instrument between the foreskin and the glans and ripping them apart.  Even with anesthetic, it's excruciatingly painful and many babies go into a state of shock.  This has been proven in studies where the baby's heart rate, oxygenation, and stress hormone levels (measured through blood tests before, during, and after) were monitored.

The correct comparison is not to piercing a girl's ears, but to cutting off the hood of the clitoris.  But this does not happen in the US because IT'S ILLEGAL TO ALTER THE GENITALS OF A BABY GIRL.  However, it's still legal to perform routine infant circumcision, with no medical indication, purely for cosmetic reasons.  It's ethically wrong -- it's not the parent's choice, it's the boy's choice to make once he's an adult.  Leave his body alone!

Danielle - posted on 12/16/2009

Also, another reason I chose to get my son circumsized is that if for any reason he got an infection later on in his life and had to have his foreskin removed then...eek...just imagine the pain. If you have your son circumsized before he is 3 weeks old his penis will not be AS sensitive. Plus the doctor uses a local anesthetic to freeze it. My son slept through the procedure. I brought him to the doctor sleeping and they brought him back to me sleeping. Yes, his penis looked red and raw for a few days but it didn't seem to bother him any. He wasn't overly fussy. They used the ring method to remove his foreskin. After about 5 days the ring fell off and that was the end of it. The only thing we had to do at home was make sure to give him a good soak in tub every day for 7 days.

Danielle - posted on 12/16/2009

We're the opposite of Holly...my boyfriend is circumsized, so we had my son circumsized so that they look the same. I have heard that these days there are not very many health benefits to having a circumsized penis (in the past it was thought so reduce cancer) but for me I think it's more sanitary to have it circumsized. It's easier to keep clean in my opinion. That's just my opinion...and I think that's what most decisions to circumsize are based on nowadays...personal opinions rather than health benefits.

Jennifer - posted on 12/16/2009

Quoting Jennifer:

well its totally up to you...my son is circumsized and can i just say it looked awful the first few days..i started to cry when i first saw it...but it heals in a week and now everything looks normal..i think the only good reason to have him get a circumsision is because it can be kept cleaner...less chance of uti...also youll never know when your son gets older if hed want to get it done...and i heard it sux when ur older to get a circumcision and atleast they can remember it..so

they can't remember it***

Jennifer - posted on 12/16/2009

well its totally up to you...my son is circumsized and can i just say it looked awful the first few days..i started to cry when i first saw it...but it heals in a week and now everything looks normal..i think the only good reason to have him get a circumsision is because it can be kept cleaner...less chance of uti...also youll never know when your son gets older if hed want to get it done...and i heard it sux when ur older to get a circumcision and atleast they can remember it..so

Theresa - posted on 12/16/2009

I did read some of the posts. There were ones who said it was mutilation, you wouldn't do that to a girl, why put them through the pain, etc. People pierce baby girls' ears all the time. There is NO medical reason for that, it's simply for looks. But all I can talk about is my experience. I had the same question when I was pregnant the first time. I was talking to my parents about it and found out that my dad's brother was not circumcised. My dad said that he had lots of problems keeping it clean and got infections from time to time. My uncle made sure to get his son circed so that he didn't have to go through that. So I did get both of my sons done and if I have another I would get him done as well. They brought my son to the nursery to have it done. I did not witness it. They brought him back as soon as it was over. I could tell he had cried, but he was not crying when they gave him to me. He never cried afterward when we changed diapers or gave baths either. As far as I could tell it didn't bother him. By the way, I have a girl too. My son seemed no more upset after his circ then my daughter did after the PKU test. Just in case you don't know, they take a razor blade and make a little cut in the baby's heal to get blood for the PKU test.

Angela - posted on 12/16/2009

In the end....it's up to you and your partner. I don't have a boy, but if I do, I think I want him circ'd. It's sort of like piercing a little girls ears. They won't remember it the younger you do it. I knew a man, who was NOT circ'd and got remarried in his 50's. His wife, I guess didn't like it. So he got circ'd. Do you really want him to have to go do that when he's old enough to REMEMBER how it felt to walk around with such a painful sore on his penis? This man couldn't wear underwear/pants for a LONG time. He wore like a sheet wrapped around him for weeks. Do you want your son to have to get circ'd later in life cuz his wife doesn't like the way it looks/feels? But, like I said in the beginning, its up to you and your partner. You decide, but I think it'd be mean to your son to have to have it done later if his wife/gf doesn't like it....

Pauline - posted on 12/16/2009

Hi. My son is now 5 year old. Being circumcised wasn't an issue between myself and my husband. It's best to have done earlier if and when you want your son circumcised. If you are worried talk withs your peditrican so that you get the right information after the birth of your son. Lucky for us my son's procedure was not in the hospital but right at the doctor's office with only one parent allowed with the baby (doctor let us decide who was going to be with baby). It's very normal for mother's to get emotional when medical procedures are taking place with a newborn. It took a week or so for healing and no complications with the doctor's care instructions.

Krista - posted on 12/16/2009

Quoting Cindy:

Wow, there were lots of responses to this; I couldn't read them all! But unless I just missed one, I didn't see any responses mentioning the 'religious' aspect of this issue. Circumcision was originally GOD'S idea; if it was dangerous or traumatic in the long-term, He would never have told His people to do it. Of course, that's Old Testament Law and we're not under the Law - this side of the cross - so it is an option. But it's still a good idea for most, because of the health issue. All the males (including my 3 grown sons) are circumcised.

Horses**t. The Bible (both old and new testaments) were written by MEN who felt that they were interpreting God's commands -- there's a LOT of room for error there. And if there IS a God, who's in charge of the whole universe, I would hope that he'd have better things to do than worry about the state of my baby's pecker. 

And regarding the health/cleanliness issue, I would much rather have to take an extra minute to clean my son's dink than to risk this: http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/st...

Besides, it's inane -- you're removing perfectly healthy, functioning tissue in order to prevent potential problems down the road? If your family is prone to cavities, are you also going to get all of your kids teeth pulled out in order to prevent that? 

With EVERY surgery, there is a risk of things going wrong. If you want to give yourself nightmares, Google pictures of "botched circumcisions."  Sure, the odds are low, but why, why, WHY would you risk that? 

And even if it's not botched, it's damn barbaric. This photo (http://www.circumcision.org/SCAN2.gif)  shows a little baby just having been circumcised. Why the HELL would you do that to your kid? 

Jessica - posted on 12/16/2009

Honestly, as far as the possible social consequences, not circumcising is becoming much more accepted. My husband isn't, and while I never really found a way to ask him mom why (we had a girl) without it end up being really awkward, he's never had any problems getting made fun of for it. Well, one of the girls he was dating made fun of him for it after they broke up, but that's just what you do to save face when you get dumped and haven't socially graduated high school yet...

Anyway, it is something you need to decide, but if I ever have a boy I don't plan on getting it done. Partly because my husband isn't and partly because I just don't think I could handle my child going through that, regardless of why they cry or how the doctors do or don't numb it. I cry when my daughter gets her vaccines so I could only imagine the waterworks that would ensue with a circumcision. Also, I freaked over my scar from my c-section so taking care of him after it was done would likely be a challenge for me too. Congratulations and good luck!

NATALIE - posted on 12/16/2009

In reply to Cindy on the religious aspect, you are right that that is Old Testament law and we are not subject to that after Jesus died on the cross. We are to love God with all our heart and soul and love our neighbors as ourselves, everything else will fall into place with God's help! Merry Christmas everyone!

NATALIE - posted on 12/16/2009

I agree it is a personal decision, healthcare providers act like its a health risk and necessary but its not. My husband, nephew and his 2 brothers are not circumcised and have had no problems with cleanliness, sex or procreating as some say you would. It is however an extra exspense and painful for your little guy! Good luck!

NATALIE - posted on 12/16/2009

I agree it is a personal decision, healthcare providers act like its a health risk and necessary but its not. My husband, nephew and his 2 brothers are not circumcised and have had no problems with cleanliness, sex or procreating as some say you would. It is however an extra exspense and painful for your little guy! Good luck!

Seasun - posted on 12/16/2009

My son is almost six and he is not circumcised. I have taught him how to keep himself clean and we have had no problems. His dad was not either but even if he had been i would not have done it. Our dr. said its about fifty fifty these days, i was concerned about when he is older and in the locker room and things like that. I can tell you that if he uncircumcised that wonderful experience of changing the diaper and having your son turn into a fountain does not happen, if he pees without the diaper on it just comes out it does not shoot up. lol I do not regret the choice at all. Be sure to get specific care insturction for when he is older, doctors tend leave out simpe but improtant information and being a girl there are just things we don't know or think of. He is healthy and happy, thats what matters most. Hope you find all of our advice helpful in makeing a choice for you're son.

Cindy - posted on 12/16/2009

Wow, there were lots of responses to this; I couldn't read them all! But unless I just missed one, I didn't see any responses mentioning the 'religious' aspect of this issue. Circumcision was originally GOD'S idea; if it was dangerous or traumatic in the long-term, He would never have told His people to do it. Of course, that's Old Testament Law and we're not under the Law - this side of the cross - so it is an option. But it's still a good idea for most, because of the health issue. All the males (including my 3 grown sons) are circumcised.

Pam - posted on 12/16/2009

Quoting Heidi:

Depends on your reasons for wanting to do it? I used to hold the babies down as a nurse whilst they screamed in agony if only there mosthers new the torture they went through - there was no way I would do that to my boy. Sure they won't remember it in later life. If it's not broken why try and fix it. Most people want their sons to look like Daddy! How often are they going to stand side by side and compare. In very few cases it is necessary due to infection not sure on the stats by very small. If you teach them to clean and don't pull the foreskin back until it comes away naturally it shouldn't be a problem. It is obviously there for a reason. You wouldn't circumsised a girl why whould you a boy? I do feel strongly against because it is a form of mutilation the child has no say in. After experiencing first hand and seeing what is done and there was case a Dr stuffed up and actually cut off the babies penis and they convinced the mother to gender reassign to a female, poor child grew up so confused. Like any surgery there are risks you need to be aware of.

O-M-G I have a girl, but if I ever have a boy, I promise not to get him circumsized, poor little babies :-(   I feel for that poor child who lost his penis, poor poor little maan, this was so heartbreaking to read!

Emma - posted on 12/16/2009

OMG don't do it! Let nature do it's thing - why would anyone even think of mutilating their child unless there was a medical problem and it needed to be done. I'm pretty sure they are designed that way for a reason - there is absolutely no need to touch the penis other than a wipe round - you shouldn't pull the forskin back or anything - leave well alone.

Jennie - posted on 12/16/2009

leave the poor boy alone!! its natural to have a foreskin. i have a son and the thought has NEVER entered my head!!!! its sick people do this 2 their sons!!! medical is a different story then they need it done other that that leave it alone!!!

Lauren - posted on 12/15/2009

ugh this was such a tough thing for me.... when my son was born, natural waterbirth, i did NOT want him circumsized.. i thought, 'i made this little person just perfect, why should anyone alter him?!"

but in the end, i had to succumb to what his father wanted.. i couldnt be a hypocrite.. at the end of the day, it was HIS son and i will never understand 'penis' like he does. So while I thought it was horrible and unnecessary, stating that all the claims that its 'more sanitary' etc are just a bunch of garbage... my son did get circumsized.. it was the most horrifying thing ive ever seen.

if you end up doing it, DONT WATCH. leave the room. trust me. ive never cried like that in my life. it wasnt even tears, it was solid streams of water falling from my eyes.

now he is a 20 month old happy toddler, and i'm potty training him.. but i still remember that barbaric sight everytime i see his little peepee :(

Kekua - posted on 12/15/2009

Please don't do that to your baby. He was born that way and there is no medical reason to cut off any part of him. It's an archaic, stupid, holdover from the past.
I know some people say it's because it can get infected but kids get millions of eye infections, ear infections, etc... but would you consider removing the eyes or cutting off your kid's ear because he •could• get sick? You just teach proper hygiene - same as any other body part.
Some people say I want it to be like the father. But seriously... "I'm going to cut off a chunk of my newborn son's penis because someone did it to his father." Please, no. If for some reason he asks about it later you tell him the truth - when daddy was born they thought they had to do it, now they know better.
He can always have it done later in life if he so chooses. But I can't imagine that he'll get to puberty (or any other age) and say "hey mom I wish you had cut off part of my penis because I really don't like having everything I was born with."
And that crap about babies not feeling pain is just bs. It hurts and you'll know it hurts because they scream for days. You don't want your son's life to begin that way.
Google the procedure.

Rebecca - posted on 12/15/2009

Please don't put your baby through that awful thing! It's purely a cosmetic surgery. Medical facts do not support the idea that your baby will get infections if he is intact. Men in Europe are not besieged with infections, and they are almost all intact. Several people have mentioned lower STD risk...one study in Africa does not prove anything about Americans, where our lifestyle is totally different. And I don't think we should hack off a body part just because our children MIGHT be sexually promiscuous in 15+ years. It's our job as parents to teach them better, or let them suffer the consequences of their own poor choices.



As for hygiene, you will have to teach your son how to clean his bottom and other areas, you can teach him how to clean his penis. It's not "extra work" for you -- you aren't even supposed to touch it until it retracts fully on its own, which won't happen until he's at least 3 years old. PLEASE, if you do choose to leave your son intact, DO NOT mess with the foreskin. Premature forced retraction CAUSES all these problems that people talk about intact babies/children having.



The foreskin is not a "useless flap of skin." It serves several important sexual functions. Please do some more research about this.



The surgery itself is barbaric, and has risks like all surgery, including infection or having something go wrong (too much or too little skin cut off, excessive bleeding, even death). How would you feel if something horrible happened during the surgery? Would you still feel that it was "worth it"? If you are thinking about choosing circumcision, you need to watch a video of the surgery before you decide. When my husband saw it, he said "NO ONE will do that to my son!" (My husband is circ'd, our son born in Feb. 09 is not.) The people who say the babies do not feel it, they cry b/c they are strapped down...are DELUDED. Even if anesthetic is used during the procedure, the baby is only given Tylenol afterward. How would you feel if you had a very sensitive part of your body cut off and were given only Tylenol? Then, the open would will be irritated by urine and feces and will be traumatized every time you change the diaper. Your son faces a much greater risk of infection in the early days due to having an open wound inside his diaper.



As for the issues of how it will look later in life...please realize that only 55% of babies in the US are mutilated this way anymore. The rates are even lower in the ethnic populations and in certain areas of the country. So your son will likely have just as many friends who are intact as are circ'd. And in 15 years, maybe our country will finally have realized how barbaric this is, and circ'd kids will get the strange looks. As someone else mentioned, your son's penis will not be the same size as his father's, and if he does notice the difference, your husband can gently explain that his own parents chose to have a doctor change his penis when he was a baby, but it was ouchie, and he (your husband) and you didn't want to do that to your son. End of story. And our kids are not carbon copies of ourselves, so trying to make your son "look like his dad" is just silly. Would you have a nose job for your son to make him look more like you or his father?



You may be wondering about the history and why so many babies in the US are circ'd when they are not everywhere else in the world. True, Jews and Muslims do it for religious reasons, but as another commenter pointed out, the Bible tells Christians NOT to circumcise. The history of circumcision for "medical" reasons does not go back "hundreds of years" as stated by another commenter. Mass infant circumcision started in the late 1800's in the US as a way to stop masturbation, which was cited as the cause for blindness, tuberculosis, etc, etc, etc, even premature death. A guy named Kellogg (yep, of corn flakes fame) promoted the idea of circumcision as a health cure-all. He was, quite simply, a nut. But doctors bought into these ideas, and they made money from it, to boot, and then it became "the norm" and "tradition" and THEN doctors started looking for true "medical" reasons, like less UTIs or infections, as reasons to keep doing it. The fact is, no recent reliable studies have shown that circumcision has ANY medical benefit (until he African AIDS study, which as I've said, is not applicable to the US).



Finally, there is the ethical question to consider. I do not believe we have the right to choose an elective, irreversible surgery for another person when it has NO proven medical benefits and which removes a naturally-occurring, useful body part. Yes, we make medical decisions for our children, but we do so because the medical good outweighs the risks. That's just not true for circumcision. So to the people who say they "left it up to hubby" because he has a penis and you don't, I'm sorry, that's not a good excuse. If your husband wanted to pierce or tattoo your son's penis, because he has one and thinks it's best, would you let him? You have a responsibility as a mother to protect your child, including from unnecessary medical procedures.



I know this is a "tough" decision for many moms, but it doesn't have to be. It's not YOUR decision, it's your child's. I had no problem not circumcizing my son and have not regretted it for one second. As soon as he was born I was so happy to hold him and could never have put him through that agony. When I change his diaper, sometimes I think about how yes, it looks different than other baby boys for whom I've provided care, but I'm so glad I left him the way that nature/God (whatever you believe) intended him to be and protected him from mutilation.

Donna - posted on 12/15/2009

I chose not to. My doctor said it was strictly cosmetic. A large portion of the world is not.

Sharon - posted on 12/15/2009

You should wait till he's born.

Tracy - posted on 12/15/2009

Most do! Teasing and infections are cons!

Krista - posted on 12/15/2009

Quoting Shelagh:

Coming from the UK, this is a strange discussion - circumcision is never performed here except on religious grounds. It simply isn't a decision that has to be made. It seems odd to me that you would want to remove something that is a normal part of the male body - and some of the arguments in favour seem unbelievably trivial (so he looks like the other kids...). Leave it alone, it's fine just as nature intended!

Exactly. If it's not broken, why fix it? 

Nothing on a baby is easy to clean. They're tiny and squirmy and full of folds. So to lop off a body part, just because it's hard to clean? That makes no sense whatsoever. My kid's butthole is hard to clean, too. That's life. You just take an extra, oh, 30 seconds to make sure it's clean. Not a big deal. 

And the whole "look like daddy" argument is inane. How much time will your kid be spending looking at his father's tallywhacker? And when they're young, it's going to look different anyway, because (hopefully) it'll be a hell of a lot smaller. 

As far as increasing their chances of HIV transmission, I would bloody well HOPE that our sons would be well-educated enough to always use condoms, thank you very much. 

To my mind, the ONLY reason that a parent should have their boy circumcised is if there is a medical necessity for it, like phimosis. Any other excuse (including religion) is indefensible. 

Stephanie - posted on 12/15/2009

My thoughts on it were that its an awful thing to do.When my son came out and I saw him for the first time I knew I could never do something so awful.the doctors say it does not hurt the baby....Tell that to your son when he has not felt any pain for 9 months and then all of a sudden he gets skin cut off his penis.The only people I know that do it now are just people who their husbands had it done when they were babies and they want them to be like them.The doctors told me there was no reason to do it.Good luck with your baby.They truly are little gifts from God :)

Lois - posted on 12/15/2009

on the side of having it done,a 50% lower rate of being infected with hiv,lower rates of urinary tract infection,lower rates of cervical cancer for their partners,lower rates of premiture ejaculation and just being easyer to keep clean,best person to have do it is a Motal-a sort of rabi,call your local temple.

Monica - posted on 12/15/2009

I think for medical reasons, boys should be circumcised...

Amanda - posted on 12/15/2009

Both my boys were circumcised at a very early age and had very little pain. I had it done for cleanliness and discovered that natural born errors had to be corrected. Well, do you know that Jesus was circumcised at thhe age of 30 years....

Candace - posted on 12/15/2009

Hi there, I had my son four years ago and we had him Circumcised. Not only is it Cleaner and Healthier for him, it aslo has been proven to Prevent cancer. If his daddy is circumcised, he should also be, he will look at his dad and wonder why they arent the same. Hope this helps!

Rachael - posted on 12/15/2009

Btw, my son didn't have much pain, and none after the first day or two, if that's something you're worried about. As long as it's performed properly, it heals quickly with very little pain.

Robin - posted on 12/15/2009

We also did it for the cleeanliness.

Rachael - posted on 12/15/2009

We did it, but it was for the cleanliness. It might have been different if my husband wasn't circumcised and could teach him how to properly take care of it, but that's not the case. I don't believe that there is any health risk involved, but for us, it just made sense to do it. My advice would be to get him circumcised if his dad is, but not if he's not.

Paula - posted on 12/15/2009

I had my 2 sons done, my father in law asked me too because when he was 56 he had to get circumcised because his for skin kept on ripping. He had to have stitches and he said that it was very uncomfortable.

Emma - posted on 12/15/2009

When our christian ancestors were roaming around in the desert with barely enough water to drink washing the foreskin thouroughly was not always possible, hence the problems that arose and male circumcision was born. Today with water aboundant and soap easy to come by this should not be the case and removing the foreskin is mutilation. You would not circumcise a girl to keep her a virgin by making sex painful, why would you circumcise a boy? In some progressive western countries there is talk about making male circumcision as illegal as female; they have my full support. Neither of my sons are circumcised and everything is fine.

Nicole - posted on 12/15/2009

To make matters I hope not more confusing to you. We chose not to circumsie, but when my son was 3 in for a check up they said he had a problem where the foreskin does not pull back for cleaning and possibley causing more issues down the road. Long story short i was never told that was a possibilty and he had to have surgery which was tramatic to say the least. Good luck hope this helps

Lynn - posted on 12/15/2009

Your pediatrician or family doctor is your best advisor on this subject. As an RN, I can tell you that there are some health issues to be considered, none are a huge deal and if you have religious feelings one way or the other, then your doc should factor that into helping you come to a decision as well. Good luck and enjoy your beautiful baby when he arrives!

Erica - posted on 12/15/2009

50% of the world is circumcised in that 50%, 27% are Americans. It's a cultural influence that dispositions this elective surgery at this age. It is NOT medically necessary, the male body was created this way for a purpose. Not to mention the gland of the penis has 4000 nerve endings the foreskin has 20000 nerve endings making it 83% of the feeling of the penis so as you can see the NORMAL uncircumcised penis has the most nerve endings. You would be severing those nerve endings. The foreskin is a protective layer of skin, but it can also harbor disease if not taken care of correctly. The world statistics have only gone up to this 50% level because of men who have not taken care of themselves and then later require the surgery for medical purposes. My husband is circumcised along with both my boys.

This is why I chose to, it wasn't an easy decision. My first son was born while I was hearing reports of men being forced to drop trow to prove that they weren't American based off of circumcision. This was shortly after September 11th. I also had my Mother in Law telling WAY too much information about her sister husband and the problems they have with his uncircumcised penis which I will spare you the graphic nature of the conversation. Plus I had a cousin of mine who was an adult man who recently had to be circumcised as an adult due to his own cleanliness issues. Plus I don't have a penis and my Husband IS circumcised so neither of us are experts on proper cleaning. SO we circumcised. We also Watched the Procedure and were able to assist with some basic help like feeding him sugar water for pain and taking instruments from the Doctor. NOW after watching that procedure I really really really wish that we hadn't done it. It is Brutal! It is basically like cutting the tip off a cigar expect its your sons penis! SO when we had are second son the guilt was still there and I was avid that we were not going to do it. But I eventually gave into peer pressure and we had him circumcised. Now I am kind of glad that we did because he is autistic and it just makes one less thing to worry about.

Cheryl - posted on 12/15/2009

I only have 2 girls but my husbands father had to get circumcised after he was 50 because of complications and it was VERY painful. Just n FYI

Shelagh - posted on 12/15/2009

Coming from the UK, this is a strange discussion - circumcision is never performed here except on religious grounds. It simply isn't a decision that has to be made. It seems odd to me that you would want to remove something that is a normal part of the male body - and some of the arguments in favour seem unbelievably trivial (so he looks like the other kids...). Leave it alone, it's fine just as nature intended!

Kathryn - posted on 12/15/2009

I find the "I want my son to look like his daddy" argument to be very, very strange. What if daddy has a mole? Or his curves to the left? What if Daddy tattooed his penis? For one thing, fathers and sons have one major difference: SIZE! By the time the child is old enough to have a penis the size of daddy's he probably doesn't see much of daddy's and the other way around. And I also don't think the child will waste any thought on analyzing the appearance of daddy's penis as compared to his own.



Anyway, I'm against circumcision. I think it's strange and cruel to give involuntary cosmetic surgery to a newborn. There is no medical reason for it. Most of the problems incurred by uncircumcised men come from retracting the foreskin to clean it and causing separation and infection. If I had a son, I would NOT do it. If he got older and wanted it done, I'd pay for it. Don't make such a huge decision for him.

Amber - posted on 12/15/2009

Hi Holly,



I am a nurse. It use to be that there was no real medical reason to get a circumcision but that is changing. New medical research studies have shown that it is better to circumcise. I have sent you a medical link so you may look at the reasons. As for the infants screaming in agony......it is a small flap of skin and you can ask the Dr. performing the circumcision to make sure your infant receives a numbing agent. Another pro to getting him circumcised is because he will look like the "other kids" when he gets older. Good luck to you.



http://www.medicinenet.com/circumcision_...

Kylie-Jane - posted on 12/15/2009

I have a one year old son and my husband and I decided not to get him circumcised. I have no strong religious reasons to circumcise, so I decided to go along with my husband. We agreed that my husband would be responsible for teaching him how to clean himself properly when he is old enough (I don't know how!), just as I will be responsible for teaching any girls we have about wiping 'front to back' and menstruation etc. I am in Victoria Australia and it seems that circumcision is no longer 'just done' as a matter of course. My husband and I both believe when our son is old enough to become sexually active it is our responsibility to teach him about safe sex and protection etc rather than follow the "circumcised boys are less at risk of sexually transmitted infections" - well educated and responsible boys are less at risk. My opinion is that there are members of the public and medical professionals on both sides of this debate who are convinced they are right, I think what it boils down to is it is one of the first of many really hard decisions you will have to make, and you have to make a well informed decision based on what you feel is best for your son. Good luck