Veggies

Jacquie - posted on 04/13/2011 ( 202 moms have responded )

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I recently saw a FB post about a mom {she's a great mom!} who learned how to "hide" veggies in her boys cupcakes. I got two red flags {somethings just not right signs} on this one. The first one is concerning deceit; how will he feels when he discovers she wasn't honest. If she'd told him she made him broccoli cupcakes, that would be honest. Can you be deceitful to your child and then punish him for being deceitful.

The second concernes what he was really eating, a cupcake. After 35 years of parenting {consecutive} ; I've learned that kids WILL eat veggies eventually and that 87 % of ADULTS actually prefer them. Is a cupcake the most nutritious way to get veggies into a veggie resistant kid? "Oh I knw you don't like veggies so here's a cupcake" isn't going to make eating veggies easier, trying them is.

Am I old or does anyone else see this?

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Kate CP - posted on 04/13/2011

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*eye roll* I'm so sick and tired of parents doing the whole die-hard "honesty" thing with their kids. Sometimes it's okay to lie to people. We do it all the time. "Does this look good on me?" "Do you like my mother?" "I made this dish from scratch! Isn't it good?"

You're telling me that saying something like "No, I think your mom is a bitch, that outfit makes you look like a balloon, and you can't cook to save your life" is better than a little "Yea, I can get along with your mom" or "This dish is different...what did you put in it?"

If you don't want to tell your kids there is a Santa or an Easter Bunny then don't...but it's really rather rude to insinuate that because I indulge my child's fantasies that I'm LYING to her.

And while I don't think it's a good idea to lace a cupcake with veggies, I don't think it's bad or wrong to do it with their favorite meal. And no, I don't feel bad for "lying" to my daughter about hiding zuchini in her spaghetti. If it's the only way to get her to eat a veggie then you can bet I'm going to hide it!

Jodi - posted on 04/13/2011

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Are you kidding me? Don't hide veggies because you are being deceitful to your child?

I see your point about "Oh I know you don't like veggies so here's a cupcake". I don't think that is teaching anything. But I think your issue about being "deceitful" is over the top....

[deleted account]

They will learn to like it eventually? So what.... when I'm 70 maybe I'll like tomatoes? I hate brussel sprouts too. Now, lima beans are one of those things that I still don't like, but will eat if they are in a bag of mixed veggies. Those other 2 things.... you couldn't pay me to eat.

Granted, kids DO need to eat veggies, but what's the deal w/ not having respect for individual taste buds? That's the kind of parenting that creates eating disorders......

Mrs. - posted on 04/19/2011

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Um Brooke, you do realize for a huge percentage of the world, Jesus is as real as Santa?

Kids question stuff...they just do. Maybe not your kids. Still, it is possible that one day one of them might think you lied to them about the whole Jesus thing. You never know.

Krista - posted on 04/18/2011

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The truth is ALWAYS in the best interest of the child.

Horsehockey.

So when my mom and dad split up when I was eight, my mom should have sat me down and told me that she was tired of my dad having affairs, and so she had one of her own and then decided to leave my dad for this other man? According to your philosophy, it was deceitful and wrong for her to leave out those details.

Kids do not have the same ability to process complicated situations. Sometimes, telling a kid the truth is self-serving and selfish: YOU might feel all virtuous and grand for not lying to your child, but in the meantime, you've burdened a child with information that he or she may not be emotionally ready to process.

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Jaime - posted on 04/20/2011

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Well it looks like I'm already going to hell, so I might as well keep shoveling those veggies into my delinquent-in-the-making!

Here, let's look at this simplified:

Telling kids there is a Santa and Easter bunny....well, there is a Santa if you think about it...several in fact, all over the malls and street corners of NA and other nations---so there's that lie debunked. Same goes for the bunny....he's real, just ask him and I'm sure he'll show you his driver's license as proof! Now that we've cleared that up....hiding veggies in the casserole is not going to lead to the destruction of youth and innocense...Justin Beiber will. Some parents gotta do what they gotta do to make sure that their picky eaters are getting a full serving of vegetables. Cupcakes are just ONE food option for hiding....but there are several healthy alternatives and I'm sure that the majority of moms on this forum would choose the healthy alternatives over the sugar-infused cupcakes any day. But there's surely no harm in giving a kid his cake and letting him friggin' eat it too...once in a while that is! I also know that I don't know shit about another mother's struggles and just because my son will sit and eat carrots until he looks like an oompa loopma, doesn't mean that my neighbour's kid will. There is plenty of deceit in this world and I am willing to bet that hiding veggies in your kids' food isn't going to contribute to an unhealthy understanding of truth and honesty. Now, don't freak out but on the weekend I'm going to hide Easter eggs around the house so that Gray can find them...don't worry though, I won't put veggies in them!

Elizabeth - posted on 04/20/2011

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My whole thing about Santa is that at about the same age you are telling them there is no Santa you are starting to talk to them about more important things and how are they to believe you on the important things if you lied to them for years about him. And I believe that a child can have just as much fun without him. My boys would always fill a shoe box with gift to send to the underprivileged in other countries and we would have such fun doing different things like that to help other people. But we divers for the question at hand is it ok to lie to your kids about veggies? I say a resounding NO. If you want snack you eat what is on your plate what ever that may be.

Letitia - posted on 04/20/2011

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I grind up veggies in tomato sauce or in lasagna. If they ask I'll tell 'em, if not, no big deal.

Now that my kids are older, I asked them about Santa, which is the thing I feel worst about lying to them about. They both said that they feel really glad that we did the Santa thing, and even though they were dissapointed to learn the truth, they had such fun during the santa years.

I think we all want to be the best parent we can be, and sometimes overthink or over worry. I know I do, anyhow.

Elizabeth - posted on 04/20/2011

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No I totally agree with you. When you are deceitful with a child in anyway it will come back to haunt you. I even go as far as to not raise my kids to believe in Santa it was not his birthday but Jesus. Also think about it deceit only teaches them that it is ok to lie.

Lora - posted on 04/20/2011

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So when you give them cupcakes now do you say, here is a cupcake ...in it I put flour, eggs, milk, etc. etc....

Marie - posted on 04/20/2011

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I am old school too I guess. Makes sense to encourage true healthy eating, then sneak in more veggies in the cupcakes on top of it.

[deleted account]

AreYou serious? Of all of the current over parenting I have seen this takes the "cake" as it were or cupcake in this example. Hey I sneak veggies into my own food. We all need to lighten up, this is so not going to scar the kid.

Bonnie - posted on 04/20/2011

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IMO, there is nothing wrong with hiding vegetables in foods. For some parents this is the ONLY way they can get their children to get vegetables into their bodies. This is better than not getting your child to eat vegetables at all.

How will the child ever find out you are being dishonest if you continue hiding them in other foods? If you are hiding them they will not know, unless they eventually see you actually putting the vegetable in it. And technically you are not lying about it unless the child asks, "are there vegetables in this?"

For a child to be deceitful about where they have been or cheating on a test is very different than hiding vegetables in another food.

Tah - posted on 04/20/2011

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By the way..I'm writing down all these hidden veggie recipes that you gals list so I can keep the lie alive....keep em coming......

Paula - posted on 04/20/2011

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I totally see your point. However, in my opinion is would be fine to give the boys a "veggie" cupcake for desert, not as a substitute for veggies. I put pureed black beans in brownies.

Rebecca - posted on 04/20/2011

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I'm not going to be insulting, but in my opinion let your child be a child....I am thankful that there was a Santa, Easter bunny and Tooth fairy in my childhood...I hide veggies ( carrots, peppers, celery) in my pasta sauce, Mom's have hidden veggies in yummy dishes for centuries, and we do it for love, to give our family a healthy meal they will enjoy.. I think with this cupcake incident, I dont think it's a matter of "ok, you wont eat your veggies so here is a cupcake)..I think it's a case of when her kids get a treat it's a healthier treat....just let your kids be kids and when they get older, after they are old enough to learn about who Santa is, then teach them about the DIFFERENCE between a big real lie, and a " little white lie"...ie "do these jeans make me look fat?"...." no, but maybe the black pants would look better"....

Mrs. - posted on 04/20/2011

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Pamela, I'm confused. How do you know that the mom who put some broccoli in the cupcake is American?

Apparently the broccoli cupcake is now a symbol of American's cultural decline as well? Wow, this is a powerful cupcake.

Latrisha - posted on 04/20/2011

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I think it's a great idea to "hide them" when you can, but you've still gotta try to get them to eat them on their own.

Mandy - posted on 04/20/2011

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This is pretty stupid. People need to chill out. Lies and deceit or Letting your kid eat veggies and believe there's some magic in the world before they grow into cynical adults? Poor kids, being bought up by such uptight parents...

Betty - posted on 04/20/2011

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I put veggies in desserts sometimes but make my daughter eat veggies every night anyway so she is in the habit of eating them every night and knows she has to. The desserts with them in them are just extra nutrition. My daughter doesn't ask me what is in them so I am not lying to her. She has seen me do it before though and says "ewww" and I say "you love these cupcakes (or whatever it is). You wouldn't like most of the ingredients separately but put together they make these yummy cupcakes (or whatever)." Then she is fine with it.

Justine - posted on 04/20/2011

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okay so like everyone else I'm with you on the 'oh you don't like veggies so here's a cupcake', but I don't see there's any deceit - seriously, when I give my kids a cupcake I don't explain to them that it contains eggs, flour, milk and sugar ... is that deceitful?? :-)

Aislinn - posted on 04/20/2011

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I've only been a mom for 7 yrs so far but I try not to lie to my kids. The few times i've made desserts w/ hidden veggies, either they watched me make it or I told them how I made it. Either way, they know!

Amanda - posted on 04/20/2011

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Nope, I have only been a parent for about 3 years and this seems obvious to me too. However, if your child is overwhelmingly selective and you do it once and then tell them they had it and liked it- a trick to reveal they like veggies, that might work. Otherwise, we go with the old standby- try it you might like it and usually they do. Well, so far, so good. Lying to your kids teaches them to lie. Sorry. That's the truth.

Danielle - posted on 04/20/2011

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Agree with you 100%! Kids can't live on a diet of candy and doritios if you don't have candy and doritos in your house :)

Tah - posted on 04/20/2011

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My 4 year old doesn't care if I eat the veggies with them or wear them, he one day decided he didn't want them. The only way he will eat them is to say they make him strong like daddy and some days he says "mooooom, I strong already, look" and proceeds to do pushups to prove his point, so if I have to hide veggies in meatloaf etc..guess what, I'm doing it and I doubt it will cause any future trips to the psychologist as a result. I think the things people get riled about are ridiculous..red flags....priceless...

Penny - posted on 04/20/2011

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Does a six year old care what you put in cupcake enough for you to deceived them. It seems like using wheat flower because it is healthier. Be a veggie eating role model, find the veggie they like and make cupcake with healthy ingredients.

Chyna - posted on 04/20/2011

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I will agree with you here. Maybe am just fortunate, but i do start introducing my kids to vegetables very early. And when they get older, i tell them the importance of these veggies, ie, good eyes, healthy skin, healthy blood, and somehow, they all catch on. My three kids all eat vegetables, atleast to a reasonable extent. Another thing is that, they need to see the parents eat it too. But offering them cupcakes ??? i dont think so. But i culd promise them a treat once in a while if they keep on eating their veggies.

Linda - posted on 04/20/2011

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This is so silly. If you give your child food, do you have to tell them every single thing that is in it. Just give it to them and they will eat it. If it is a brownie with broccoli or some other veg. and they like it, then no issue. Don't sweat the small stuff.

Are you going to be deceitful or honest about Santa Claus?!!

There I rest my case.

Stifler's - posted on 04/20/2011

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omg cathy THAT IS DECEPTION! you must tell your kid the honest truth about their picture!!! bahahahaha

Jessica - posted on 04/19/2011

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Johny has the right idea and its not only children who are sensitive to veggies. I know a few adults who do without them everyday and dont even blink. Growing up we had beans and meat and sometimes salad. I dont think my parents were bad for it but we make sure we have rounded meals on a daily basis. My son is 14 months and eats pretty much anything we give him but I make sure to be creative in the way I incorporate veggies not so much as to hide them but more so he doesnt get sick or bored of them. He eats fish, chicken, pork, beef and so far the only veggie he doesnt like are turnips. So like I said, as long as they are eating healthy rounded meals that is what matters. Instead of forcing your children to eat veggies why not figure out a way they can actually enjoy them. Ex: so many ppl hate beets because they only have had them out of a can or boiled, but when roasted they are so sweet like corn. My son loves them. He loves to drink water and he doesnt drink juice, but he eats fresh fruit. Its sad so many ppl dont make the time to cook at home or feed their families the right way. Chicken nuggets and french fries, happy meals, fast food should have no place in growing childrens diets. Maybe I'm rambeling but my point is feed your children the right things any way you can, and keep the bad things to a minimum if at all.

Sal - posted on 04/19/2011

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my fridge is full of glorious art, usually for some reason upside down (according to the artist) and i am now a bit worried are magic kisses bad too, god i just don;t know how i have managed to raise a 15 yr old

[deleted account]

Obviously it's the way you raise the kids... which is why I have a 7 year old who will eat everything (except sweet potato and broccoli) and a 2 year old who will eat bread.

Getting a nutritious balanced diet into the youngest is nothing short of miraculous and I WILL stoop to every deceitful trick to ensure he gets what he needs to grow strong and healthy.

Now on the subject of lying ... when your kid brings home a picture which looks like the cat threw up over it ... do you tell them it's a mess and chuck it out with the garbage or display it proudly on the fridge? Because I do the latter.

Anna - posted on 04/19/2011

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I think you are right. We eat a lot of veggies in my household and my son loves them. I also didn't let him even try anything with sugar in it until he was a year and then he only had it maybe three times before his 2nd birthday. He loves veggies and just about everything else too. I also think it helps that I don't ever say "eww, that's gross" or that I don't like the taste of anything. I'm always very positive about the fruit and veggies!

Johnny - posted on 04/19/2011

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I love this whole "the way parenting has changed" thing. Totally amusing. Being in my mid-30's, my hubby being in his 40's, and many of our friends being even in their 50's, we haven't noticed that much of a change on the veggie front.



We were out with my parents and some friends (all in their 60's) for supper tonight and so I brought this issue up. It's been so stunningly controversial. They all all remembered struggling to get their kids to eat their veggies, and having their parents do the same. Kids not liking veggies is not a NEW thing. Our friend remembered his mom bribing him with candy to eat broccoli. I remember my parents going to great lengths to hide veggies.



Think of all the grown adults you know who don't eat veggies ever. I remember my best friend's dad when I was a kid would only eat potatoes. He'd be in his 60's now too.



For years one of my favorite dishes has been a baked scallop and cheese gratin. I finally asked my dad for the recipe, turned out he's been sneaking cauliflower in there all these years. The horror.



YOU may not have used any of these tricks. But it's not some new-fangled parenting invention. Children have more sensitive taste buds, because they haven't been exposed to strong tastes, various burns etc. They've always been more sensitive to food tastes than adults. The current generation of parents hasn't concocted some new problem nor have they even invented this solution.



This thread just keeps getting nuttier, God, Santa, "back in the day", the horrors of deceit. LMAO! This place is a madhouse!

Tinker1987 - posted on 04/19/2011

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i havent ran into this issue since my child is only 5 months but wheni do i wont be hiding it in treats.if he wants a treat he will be eating veggies first.hopefully he takes after me and LOVES veggies. unlike his father who will only eat 3 veggies out there lol

Sal - posted on 04/19/2011

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oh and another time she was sick of us being glued to the tv so she pulled something out of the back and told us it broke and we couldn't afford a new one...it was months of happy family time, dinners talking nicely (with 5 kids that was a might achievement), playing board games and reading, it wasn;t until dad said he was going to buy a new one before the cricket started for summer that she pulled the bit ot of the draw and it was fixed, again no lasting damage, only good outcome....

Sal - posted on 04/19/2011

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ohhh the best lie my mum ever told was awsome!!!! when my brother was at school he was always in trouble. at the time the school went through some changes (not sure why but they did) and the parents could give permission for the cane to be used (this was the 80's ) my mum told my brother she had OKed it, (she hadn't) his behaviour improved out of sight and when he found out as an adult he just laughed, he thought all that time he had to behave or get the cane (as a result she told us all we could be caned, we all were pretty good) no one was scared for life...ohh naughty mummy!!

Sabrina - posted on 04/19/2011

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I totally agree with u! I would not deceive my child cos that is not teaching him the rite thing. What i do is serve my son veggies the way i serve them for myself. N when he sees me eating he also wants to eat.

Sal - posted on 04/19/2011

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as parents we are ment to make the hard decisions about how to raise our own children. it might not be the same as you neighbours but we make these desisions based on the knowlege we have at the time, and some time a little white lie is the best way to get a positive out come for everyone, so what she didn't make a full ingredient disclosure on the cupcake....but he ate a vegi and that is a good thing....i can't see how this (or santa and the easter bunn or tooth fairy) can cause any long term damage....BIG lies are a different thing and can not under any circumstances be bundled in with the hudden veg, get some perspective ladies.....big lies are No your not adopted, yes i'm your real dad, daddy is just going on holidays for a few weeks (or 18 to life)

Medic - posted on 04/19/2011

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Wow! Just WOW! I am not sure what to say, I serve my kids veggies at every meal and I sure as hell hide both veggies and fruit in everything. My kids will eat everything just not everything every day so if today is the day we don't eat veggies they will get them somehow. I AM A MEAN HORRIBLE LYING MOMMY!!! By your redonkylous statement I should have told my 4 year old that his daddy adopted him because his biological dad chose drugs and parties over him, and that when we divorced he wanted the car not visitation with him. I will NEVER tell my son that, I will stand by my "he loved you to the best of his ability" statement and move on. Kids don't need YOUR dirty laundry aired out for them. As parents we are supposed to protect our children and make sure they are being told things on their level not your unrealistic view of what kids should comprehend. I really don't give a rats behind how long you have been raising kids or how ok you think they are. My kids know I will always protect them. tell the truth as far as they are concerned and I am the parent, what I tell them is what they need to know, and until they are 18 I need to know everything they are doing and lying to me will not be tolerated. But hey who am I but a MEAN HORRIBLE MOMMY>

edited to add: I should also tell my kids that mommy could die at work????? Why do YOU care OH SO much how I feed my kids?

Pamela - posted on 04/19/2011

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I am always amused at the way parenting has changed over the years when it comes to things like this. I have reared 3 sons as a vegetarians and I never had any problems with my sons eating vegetables because I always prepared meals that were liked (sometimes loved) and to this day my sons can tell me what they liked the best. One of the favorites I fixed was vegetarian lasagna which took a long time to prepare because of the way it was layered and the ingredients I used had a secret added flavor.....anise sprinkled over the layer of fresh spinach. Another favorite was tofu tacos which my ex learned to prepare and cooked when married to his next wife.
I am not certain why Moms these days have accepted the nonsense about vegetables passed through TV. I realize that students are no longer taught cooking skills in school.....what a loss to education that has been, but I also realize that it doesn't mean that there isn't a way for both sexes to learn how to prepare fabulous meals using fresh vegetables.

As for broccoli in cupcakes.....how totally absurd Americans have become. The parents are in charge of the meals until children are taught to cook as well....that's if that even goes on anymore.
Any Mom who doesn't know how to feed her family nutritious meals that include vegetables served in countless ways to me is just lazy.
How many of you are even aware that the whole "hating vegetables" crap started with that man that once lived in the White House....I think his name started with a "b". Duh-UH!!!!

Mrs. - posted on 04/19/2011

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Sorry couldn't resist. If someone is swearing that Santa and the Easter Bunny is a fabrication that can not be tolerated because it is not wholly factual...and then brings in the bible and Jesus..

I gotta say something. It's too rich.

Lexann - posted on 04/19/2011

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Don't be silly! Do you list all the ingredients in everything your child eats, spelled out to him? "Here, dear, this cake has eggs, which I know you don't like, but it makes the cake taste good. Won't you try it?" So, the cake has mashed broccoli or sweet potato (ever hear of sweet potato pie?) or zucchini...that is NOT deceit. That is making healthy choices as to what to feed your kids! We as parents make lots of choices for our children without consulting them first. Be a parent!
Don't miss understand me, Junior still needs to learn to like veggies without them being hidden in sweets. But it's ok if they want "dip" with their raw veggies or butter on their broccoli or whatever. But they do need to learn to eat what you, the parent, has prepared (without complaining), and to try new things. That just comes with consistancy & time.

Barbara - posted on 04/19/2011

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We make it a policy not to lie about little things or big--but we do employ various strategies to induce the kids in our daycare to eat every manner of food we offer, including a wide variety of fruits and vegetables. We have them help us grow some of them, we have them help prep them most of the time, and we make sure to praise them bigtime when they're all grown-up and try new things without balking or gagging.



We're not opposed to a shameless bribe over getting them to eat offerings we know in advance they dislike, and delight over it with them when they find that their tastes HAVE indeed changed the way that we promise they will as they grow older. I remember the day one little girl realized she now adored avocado, when she for years had hated it but still dutifully ate two bites each time we served it, according to our rule.



We do try to offer new or known reprehensible foods alongside favorites. We also try not to push new foods during times when we know the kids are already stressed. I suppose if you boiled it down, it would be called manipulation, but I think it's more like learning how to approach new things in life. We do tell them everything they're eating, down to every last ingredient, especially if they ask. They're certainly allowed to have dislikes, but we don't necessarily cater to them.



They're taught how to behave with good manners when they do NOT like something, which is an important social skill. We also offer vegetables and fruits that are not liked in different forms, to see if perhaps the child likes it mashed or cut differently, or cooked one way better than the other. One likes tomatoes cooked, but not raw, but is working on developing a taste for the raw.



We do the same things ourselves! I to this day disdain boiled okra, but like it fried, which is of course not so good for me. I let the children see me eat it, try hard to make a face about it, and then eat something else to cut the slime. I may never like it, but it's extremely nutritious and I won't stop trying to like it. Besides, they enjoy seeing me fight the disgust, even more so when some of THEM love the stuff and rub it in that they do. :D



We're trying to teach new habits, new tastes, and I believe it helps to involve the children every step of the way. The idea is not simply to force or coerce good nutrition on them, like little zombies, but to make responsible adults with open minds and broad palates...isn't it? Food is supposed to be fun, just like life in general can be if we let it.

Jaime - posted on 04/19/2011

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If chocolate was a vegetable we wouldn't be having this conversation...

Stifler's - posted on 04/19/2011

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I'm in the 13% of adults who hate veggies but only eat them because they're healthy. Guess what my mum made us eat veggies with our meal AND hid them in things.

Jodi - posted on 04/19/2011

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Joy, somehow, religion and God ends up being brought into EVERYTHING........**roll eyes**

[deleted account]

I cannot believe this thread is still going, for one thing. And for another, I REALLY can't believe that somehow religion and God have been brought into it. I mean really. The President of the United States is doing a town hall meeting tomorrow people. Don't get your zucchini cupcake in such a wad! LOL DAYUM!

Jodi - posted on 04/19/2011

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All but the youngest of my kids know the truth about Santa now (despite the fact that I LIED to them for years), and what do you know? They also believe in Jesus and God. Go figure.....

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