Very scared over my risk of downs sydrome

Fiona - posted on 04/24/2012 ( 154 moms have responded )

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This is a very touchy subject for me to talk about as its still fairly raw and I'm very emotional over what has just happened... I'm 15 weeks and 3 days pregnant with my 4th baby. I'm 32. At week 14 weeks and 2 days i was offered the screening test for my risk of Downs Syndrome. well on monday of this week (15 weeks 1 day) i was shocked to hear that my doctor wanted me to come in and see him urgently. The thing i was fearing the most was told to me.... that i had a high risk of my baby having Down's, and that as i was now 15 weeks pregnant, i needed to go to Melbourne to have an Amniocentesis ASAP. I'm so scared as i have been told my risk is 1 in 78. That as i was told is that of a 36 year old! Is it right for me to feel cheated by nature? My reproductive system is working 4 years ahead of its time! Not only that - I fell pregnant with this baby in the midst of waiting for a LLETZ procedure (removal of precancerous cells from cervix), (i found i was 3 weeks pregnant the day after the procedure) and was placed on high miscarriage risk by my doctor until week 12... my pregnancy was pretty much considered a miracle as i should by rights have miscarried due to the bleeding i experienced for weeks afterwards and the fact that they had lazered a huge chunk out of the head of my cervix.... Anyway, I do feel cheated by nature. Why is it that at 32 i have the same risks for Down's in my pregnancy as a 36 year old?? has anyone else experienced this? The Royal Women's Hospital are being absolutely fantastic! They're ringing me to give me counselling every day until i get there... Have tolfd me that my risk is actually 2% of my child having Down's. I am still horrifically scared though... I dont understand what is going on with my body (as in why now) and my doctors cant give me an answer! My wish is that my baby is healthy and has nothing wrong (as any other woman) but i couldnt deal with a baby having Down's as i have one already who has a Global Developmental Delay of 12-18 months... He's 6 and even now hard to deal with.... VERY hard. So i couldnt go ahead with the pregnancy if it had Down's. I dont beleive that my baby deserves that kind of life, nor my family. What hurts the most is i have 2 boys, 1 girl now, and i am hoping for a girl to make my darling girl happy with a sister..... I dont have a sister myself as my mother miscarried my only chance at a sister at 6 weeks due to being RH Negative blood type, and at the time there was no technolgy to change the baby's blood type, until she became pregnant with me... So i want my daughter to have a sister like i never had. I'm sorry to ramble, but my head is spinning like crazy. There is no chance to have another child if this one has Down's, as my cervix (having had 2 abortions, 3 natural births, 2 miscarriages and now LLETZ) wouldnt hold a child if i terminate this one.

My question is - has anyone my age had the same result in a screening as me? and how has it turned out? i have 5 days til i go for my Amniocentesis and it's getting at me!

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Kaitlin - posted on 04/24/2012

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my risk is 1 in 47 with the child I'm currently carrying. I am 25.
I was supposed to have DS when I was born- I do not.
I chose not to do an amnio because the risk of miscarrying is 1 in 100, and I am not willing to loose this child just because I want to know ahead of time. The genetic makers seen via ultrasound did not show heart issues. I had another level two and I have another ultrasound this week, actually, and they scheduled an echo just in case (DS tend to have heart issues that may need attention at birth).
It is disheartening to hear that you would want to terminate- If my mother chose that, i would not be here, and I do not have DS. It also saddens me that you do not see the value of people who have DS.
I know that you have your own views here, and we disagree, and that's fine. It just makes me sad. I completely understand your nerves and the emotional coaster that is involved. It's tough.

[deleted account]

This isn't an abortion conversation. This is about a scared mother who needs support and for those of you who have posted that they think she is selfish for considering abortion, or BEGGING her not to abort...SHAME ON YOU! You don't walk in her shoes and you don't know how much she can handle and IF she chooses to abort, that is her choice. This isn't a pro-life vs. pro-choice conversation.

Fiona,
I had my one and only child at age 36. I did not submit to any testing on him, or myself, even though the risks for me were considered higher than normal (because of my age). However, that was my choice and I knew that I wouldn't have aborted no matter the result of any test. I completely understand and support your right to know for sure (through testing) and to make the decision that is best for you and your family. I wish you the best and sincerely hope that it's all good news. Keep us posted and I'll keep my fingers (and toes) crossed for you ♥

Veronika - posted on 04/27/2012

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I cannot understand why some of you women are upset, angry, or what have you over Fiona's decision to choose abortion IF her amnio test shows that the baby has DS. She did not say that she will do it just in case the baby has it, only if the amnio shows that he or she does. I understand no diagnostic tool is 100% accurate, but if you research your ifo amnio is very close.

Amniocentesis is a much more accurate diagnostic test considered to be 99% accurate. Amniocentesis is usually done between the 14th and 18th week of pregnancy. It is not recommended prior to the 14th week because of the increased risk of miscarriage. Amniocentesis is controversial because when done during the appropriate time, it increases the risk of miscarriage an additional 1/2 to 1%. Amniocentesis is also controversial because 80% of women who choose to have an amniocentesis and find it is positive for an anomaly opt for abortion. Amniocentesis results typically take 2 weeks to be returned, so most expecting parents get amniocentesis results in the 16th to 20th week of pregnancy.

This is her choice. She is not trying to offend those of you who have kids with DS, or insinuate that they are anything less then amazing...as all kids are. She is simply stressed and worried about maybe having to make a very hard decision. I have 3 kids and if I got pregnant now and found out they baby would have DS, or Trisomy18, or spinabifoda, or etc. I would have to make the same difficult decision I hope Fiona will not have to make. She is a mother, she knows what she will be giving up by making such a choice...but she also knows what is best for her family, for the children she already has. It is HER decision. She did not ask for our opinions on abortion. She did not ask for anyone to tell her what DS really is, as if she does not know. She reached out for sympathy and support. If, upon reading her story, you cannot sympathize or be supportive then refrain from commenting and judging.

I also have to disagree with some who feel slighted that many are referring to non DS kids as "normal" or "healthy". DS is a genetic diffect, just as Autism is a cognitive disability. Those are facts. They do not mean that a DS, or Autistic, child is not amazing and wonderful, and even essential in their parents' eyes. It just means that the child is not typical. Please do not look for malice where there is nothing but love and compassion.

Wendi - posted on 04/25/2012

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Wow! I am blown away at the insensitivity on this board! I had a child with Downs syndrome when I was 23. While I was terrified, knowing absoloutly NOTHING about DS, I have never considered my son, now 19, anything but "normal".There have been many challenges but the good has far outweighed the bad and I am grateful that I have been given the opportunity to be part of something so special. My son with DS has made me and each of us who knows him a better person.

Loretta - posted on 04/29/2012

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I was told after a diagnostic ultrasound with my 3rd child that my risk was about 1 in 75 because her neck measurement was too fat and indicated a heart problem. I understand the stress and worry you are feeling. We actually chose not to have the amnio because we realized that having more information was actually causing us MORE stress and amnios can tell you there is damage sometimes where noone yet knows what effect it will cause, so we decided we didn't want to walk into more worry. We did, however, have a blood test that, despite the ultrasound results, moved us back up into 1 in 150. Needless to say, our baby DIDN'T have Down's, or a heart problem--just a really, really chubby neck.

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Debbie - posted on 05/29/2012

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I have a little girl with DS. I found out by amnio after previous tests indicated there migth be a chance. Your doctor will probably not be much help to you in regards to info about DS. Contact a DS Association near you if you really want to know about DS. And if you really don't think you can handle it, PLEASE give someone else a chance to adopt the baby. You will be giving the baby a loving family and the greatest gift you can-Life:) P.S. I was devestated when I found out. You get through it and your dreams turn out a little differently. I can't imagine life without her.

Fiona - posted on 04/29/2012

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Thank you Liz, i couldnt have said that better. This is not a designer pregnancy, i didnt go through IVF nor gender selection, my simple wish is for it to be a healthy little girl preferably. Or a boy - if thats the case. I know my limitations and i am not the only person on this earth to make the choice i might have to make. and as Judy pointed out earlier, DS is a killer - people who are keeping a child with Down's ultimately are subjecting their child to a hard life and a death sentence. I have said all along, i do not wish this for my child, nor myself or family. Some people really need to think about what impact their opinon makes to others, and what they would do if placed in that same person's situation. OK didnt want to spill it all, but THIS has been my last few years:

1. Raped at 38 weeks preg with my son who is now 6 by a man i went to school with who broke in and entered my home.

2. Finding out that my daughter was molestered by her father who she lived with as he had care of the children for a few years whilst he portrayed me as being "unstable due to Post-natal depresson and despite court orders wouldnt let me be with my children under any circumstances - in order to have his way with my child who suffered 2 years of sexual abuse at his hands

3. Find out the reason my son was hitting milestones anywhere between 3-9 months late was due to a global delay which was originally misdiagnosed as Prader-Willi Syndrome (insatiable hunger disorder and having DHS in my life to annoy me because i was finiding life hard (beleive me they want to make life harder, not better, i know of people who worked for them and left because they were made to mentally torture parents to earn money and saw it as morally wrong)

4. Finding out at 31 i had CIN3 Cervical Dyspasia (grade 3 changing cells which at grade 4 are cancerous) and dealing with that

5. Become pregnant during time of Cervical cell changes and find out i'm pregnant the day after surgery (thinking i have been blessed after a hard time) only to be faced with the possibility of my little "miracle" maybe having Down's Syndrome and possibly having to face termination when my risk SHOULDNT BE SO HIGH DO TO MY AGE and i should be young enough to deal with a normal healthy pregnancy. And then to share my fears with mothers online, hoping to get some ideas of others experiences, only to have SELFISH, CRUEL, THOUGHTLESS COMMENTS AND INSULTS BY PEOPLE LIKE YOURSELF SHANNON! You arent the only one doing it, i know, but you - by far, are the worst! How dare you try to guilt trip me??? Dont tell me its not a guilt trip because it clearly is one! WHAT WOULD YOU DO IN MY SITUATION??? BEING THROUGH WHAT I HAVE OVER JUST 6 YEARS??? I'M NOT TRYING TO MAKE ANYONE SORRY FOR ME, EVERYONE HAS ISSUES, AND HARD TIMES, BUT I HAVE HAD ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH LET ALONE INVITING MORE IN MY LIFE! I WANT AN EASIER LIFE, NOT A HARDER ONE! AND I AM SORRY, BUT THATS HOW ITS GOING TO BE IF THIS CHILD HAS DOWNS AND I KEEP IT! I DO NOT NEED YOUR OPINION SHANNON AND I HAVE AS MUCH RIGHT TO POST ONLINE AS ANYONE ELSE DOES! PLEASE LEAVE THIS CONVERSATION OR I WILL REPORT YOU! ITS THAT SIMPLE!

Jodi - posted on 04/29/2012

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OK, sorry, I have already posted a warning on this thread, and obviously there are people here who are either unable to be respectful, or unable to accept that when you post on an open forum, you WILL get responses you don't like - you don't have to listen to them.

I am now locking this thread. Enough is enough.

Thank you to those ladies who remained respectful in their repsonses.

Jodi
WtCoM Moderator

Cheryl - posted on 04/29/2012

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This breaks my heart to read. I've only read a few of your replies and it truly makes me sick. I never got tested for downs screening b/c there is no history on either of our sides. Perfect 1st pregnancy but my water broke at 35.5 wks. I gave birth to my baby girl and 5 min. Later was told she had downs. I was an emotional wreck. I always thought if I had a ds baby I would never abort any child but felt I was to selffish. Well, the first 4 hrs I can never take back and regret most that came out of my mouth, I did not want her, I wanted her up for adoption, I couldn't even see her. Then I finally calmed down and held her and then it didn't matter. My daughter,Adrianna is 3 years old and is hitting every milestone the same as a child without the disability. While some day ds is the best thing that happened to them, that's crap, your child is not the disability. I'm so thankful I didn't know until after she was born, maybe not that early after but I can forgive myself and almost completely have for my actions that day but aborting just b/c they may or may not have DS is heartless & selffish. You can't ever change the results or give them life after. Breaks my heart the thought of not having my daughter. Her type was a fluke not genetic. As well, others tested positive but all were incorrect. Be careful, its not a true 100% chance. Plus those that abort a child with DS are limiting ds being in the norm and make ds more like a taboo. I feel ya and hope that you choose to take a chance of making babies, don't take that chance for your child.

Liz - posted on 04/29/2012

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Shannon, it should be enough to realise that your post was clearly offensive and upsetting to Fiona, no matter how you meant it to sound. Repeating it to try and make her see the way you meant it is probably not terribly helpful. There is a huge difference between offering a difference of opinion which, yes, we all should be prepared to deal with if we bring an issue to this boards...and dealing with that kind of barb.



How about this one then: 'if you aren't willing to hear things you may not like'. That works both ways, you know! Just because you don't like her plan for what she will do if she discovers her child has DS - a diagnosis that many mothers would perceive as a huge tragedy, which doesn't make them cruel or unusual - that doesn't mean that she's wrong or that you should insult her.



You might not think that you insulted her. Suggesting that she might even consider terminating a boy like she's treating it like some kind of designer pregnancy? Yeah, I'd actually find that upsetting and offensive if it were aimed at me, so I don't think she's being unreasonable or disproportionate in her response to you.

[deleted account]

My post never gave you a guilt trip, I simply made a statement...obviously of fact. I never said you were wrong. I said you have made your choice. It is sad. The whole situation is sad, don't you agree? You are the one who chose to take my statements and turn them into a "guilt trip", etc. If you aren't willing to hear things you may not like, then why don't you take this issue of yours off of the internet. I again, repost my original statement to show that you chose to take my statements out of context.

"I don't see a question here anymore. You state that you will abort if the child has downs. So sad. I'm sure thousands of mothers would love to adopt your child. You have made your choice. Downs = Death for your unborn child. I'm sorry to be so blunt. One more thing, you say, "and i am hoping for a girl to make my darling girl happy with a sister." What are you going to do if you find out it is a boy? Does that equal death as well?'

Fiona - posted on 04/29/2012

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AND NO THAT DOES NOT MEAN A BOY WOULD BE ABORTED. IF ITS HEALTHY, THATS ALL THAT MATTERS

Fiona - posted on 04/29/2012

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Listen Darling, guilt trips do nothing for me. They dont work. If the child is a boy, then its a boy, You're an idiot. IT'S MY CHOICE, AND NOONE WILL TALK ME OUT OF IT! YES DOWNS DOES EQUAL DEATH TO MY UNBORN CHILD. I'M SORRY TO BE SO BLUNT ALSO. BUT YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TELLING ME WHAT IS AND IS NOT WRONG FOR ME! KINDLY BUTT OUT!

[deleted account]

I don't see a question here anymore. You state that you will abort if the child has downs. So sad. I'm sure thousands of mothers would love to adopt your child. You have made your choice. Downs = Death for your unborn child. I'm sorry to be so blunt. One more thing, you say, "and i am hoping for a girl to make my darling girl happy with a sister." What are you going to do if you find out it is a boy? Does that equal death as well?

Fiona - posted on 04/29/2012

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I'm sorry but dont tell me that downs is easier than a global delay, its not. There is so much more involved in downs. Please get your facts straight. Remember i have a child with a delay.

Michelle - posted on 04/29/2012

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I know several children with downs, and they are highly functioning. It saddens me people abort for any reason as I have 6 adopted children. Yes 6. I had to have a hysterectomy at an early age, so I choose to adopt. I am not judging just saying you do not know how this child will turn out or how much a person can deal with. Downs is actually easier than global delay. I really wish these tests were not done it should not matter to a mother. They should love their children unconditionally.

[deleted account]

I was 32, pregnant with my 4th child. Test came back showing my daughter may have downs. The dr. told me that my risk of losing her during or after the amnio was greater than the risk of her having downs. I was NOT about to lose my unborn baby to a maybe! I chose to wait and see what happened when she was born. Because I would have her no matter what! My beautiful baby girl, that I could have lost to a selfish need to know early, was born PERFECT! A friend of mine had a baby boy. Her test showed no signs of downs. Her son was born with downs. You never know.

Judy - posted on 04/29/2012

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Julie, I have seen several posters on here tell Fiona to ignore the results of her tests. And to forgo any other testing. Not you specifically. I have also read posts from people who have children with DS tell her that its wonderful to have a child with DS and to not worry about it anymore. While it may have all worked out for them in the end, there is no guarantee that it does for everyone. That is what I wanted to convey. However, you did say that: "Every person has value." Which I took to mean that you thought I didn't think my brother had value. Which I wanted clarify. That's all. I know raising a child isn't easy. I have three of them. However, raising three children without disabilities in comparison to raising a child with a mental disability is different. Please don't tell me differently. It's a fact. We all know it and have to accept it. It impacts everyone in the family in ways that cannot be predicted. Look... I don't want go into this any further with you Julie. I want to support Fiona in whatever informed decision she wants to make. I have compassion for her because I understand. And until you have walked in those shoes, you can't.



Fiona, I will pray for you too. I hope it all does work out for you. I hope you do get the child you so badly want. I know what that is like too.

Julie - posted on 04/29/2012

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Judy, nobody ever said it would be all "sunshine and roses". Raising any child isn't easy. Even "normal" children can cause stress to a family. I don't even like to use the term "normal" because, what does that really mean?

Fiona - posted on 04/29/2012

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Julie, thats absolutely fine. Please add me to your circle and i will keep you posted xx

Melissa - posted on 04/29/2012

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i have had almost the same experience.. and it flipped me out too....
first i found out i was pregnant thanksgiving weekend (canadian thanksgiving).. with my 3rd, totally planned and excited. then i misscarried right before halowe'en. 6 weeks later, it hadn't occured to me that i should've had my period back, until a friend mentioned it.... and i was pregnant again, without ever getting my period back. so i didn't have a last period date for my doctor to use.
then, around week 15 i think, after some blood tests and an ultrasound, i was told the same thing as you. i had a 1 in 112 risk of down's, the same risk as someone who was 40! and i'm only 33. i didn't think it was fair either!! i did the test, and then was told it would take 3 weeks to get a response. it was the longest 3 weeks of my life. i already have 2 healthy girls, who were never screened as a risk, and now we were having a boy.
like you, i know i am not able to deal with this kind of disability. i have (a very mild case) of cerebral palsy, and i know what it took my parents to get me walking. i think it would be hard enough to split your time 3 ways to begin with, i know it was not an option in our family. kudos to those who can handle it, i know my limitations.
by some grace of miracle, my amnio came back clean, with to abnormalities, i cried when i got off the phone with my dr's secretary.
but do the amnio, and pray. and be strong in your decision. you're not alone, and anyone who's been there would never judge.
my thoughts and hopes are with you.

Julie - posted on 04/29/2012

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Fiona, If it is okay with you, I am going to pray that it will be okay. And I believe it will be. Please keep me posted.

Judy - posted on 04/29/2012

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I'm sorry Julie and Cheryl if my real life experience offends or scares you. I thought that Fiona should know that there are real risks both medical, emotional and financial. And to ignore them and the impact to a family would be silly. And no, not every one is as unfortunate as my family was. But it does happen.



My brother had and still has value. He taught me a lot. He taught me that I could never handle having my own child with DS. I would not, nor could not go through that again. I loved him and I cried many MANY hours because of his pain, his disadavantages, his inability to understand the words we spoke to him, and his eventual death. And if he could read now wherever he may be he would know that I loved him with all my heart and soul. And that I would NEVER wish what he went through on any child!



I simply don't think it's fair to tell someone that ignoring test results is the right thing to do. And that everything is going to be all sunshine and roses is silly.

Fiona - posted on 04/29/2012

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Julie, thank you for your encouragement and your belief in me, its outstanding. But if you only knew what the last few years has given me. In terms of strength, i have nothing left. I wont go into it all but my family and i have been through some horrific situations which noone should need to go through... I just need this to all be ok....

Fiona - posted on 04/29/2012

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Bess hun the LEEP OR LLETZ as we call it here, has already been done. I found out the day after my surgery that i was preg... I had CIN3 cells which needed removal... 1 step before cancer... I was very lucky as they were visciously growing.

Julie - posted on 04/29/2012

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Fiona, I'm sorry, but I believe you might be stronger than you realize. I'm not trying to judge you or your decision, but I don't want you to have any regrets. You have been in my thoughts and prayers ever since I saw the post the other day.

Julie - posted on 04/29/2012

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I agree with you Cheryl. Every person has value. It breaks my heart to read some of the comments.

Judy - posted on 04/29/2012

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Hi Fiona,



My brother had DS and I will tell you it was not a happy story as many women on here want you to believe. He had to have two open heart surgeries which were followed by strokes. He started to talk and walk but then after the strokes he could talk and eventually he couldn't walk because he hip came out of place, And he wasn't supposed to make it out of infancy but because of the constant round the clock care that my mother and I provided (yes, I became a co-parent at a very young age) he lived until he was 13. At which point, his body outgrew his heart and he needed another open heart surgery. My mother knew that he couldn't go threw this again and decided to let him pass away as painlessly as possible at home with his loved ones. Which I will tell you was pretty hard on all of us.



So, it isn't only you and your emotions that you have to think about it is the rest of your family and how it impacts them. Which I think a lot of these mothers forget about. Now, they may be lucky and have very high-functioning children but what if you aren't so lucky. What happens then? Do what you think you can handle. Get what tests you think you need to know what you want to know. My mother never got any tests. And she said she should have.



I loved my brother very much. But I saw the toll it took on my parents marriage, and my other brother and I, plus my mother's emotional state. We were drained emotionally.



Also, there weren't any programs to really help us out. He was legally blind so at least he go to the school for the blind sometimes. But other than that, we received VERY little assistance. Your circumstance may be different and I hope they would be for the better if your child does have DS.



I do understand your concerns, I do appreciate your situation and it must be very trying and scary. I am now a mother myself of three healthy boys. With each one I was always terrified of getting that call. I can't tell you what you should do. I can't say what is right and what is wrong. But do what you feel is right for yourself. You know what you can and cannot handle and you know what your family can and cannot handle. You have others to think about and that's important. Lots of hugs for your all.

Bess - posted on 04/29/2012

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This is why these tests should be avoided before 35, they are just probabilities, and inclusive. They just add to paranoia, when you risk is probably very low. When I've been offered these tests after being told thy give you a probability, that is, say, a 1 in 75 chance, I said no way, because it just makes your head spin...I imagine all is well for your baby, as you're not in a high risk group. As for your LEEP, what we call it in the states, you should be good to get it after. That again, is not precancerous, it is another probability that you have the certain type of cells that may eventually turn cancerous. I have the same type of cells. These things are just so damn misleading. Calm down and take care of yourself.

Nala Mwaka - posted on 04/29/2012

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U said your pregnancy is a micracle to even reach this far trust God that you baby will be 100% healty his a faithful God and I believe every sitution we encounter he knows we can over come.its not easy what u going through but trust God.

Caroline - posted on 04/29/2012

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II feel really agitated reading this, I have a little girl with down's syndrome and she is amazing. People always concentrate on the negatives of having a down's child but believe me the positives far outway the negatives. She is 5 now and she brings our family and everyone that knows her so much joy, and it is so much easier bringing them up than you think. Every child as you know will cause you problems during their lifetime so I don't understand why everyone is so negative about down's syndrome, there are much worse and more challenging conditions out there.

Lashawn - posted on 04/28/2012

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I feel alot better that are feeling better. It is going to be ok. Put God first. Smile

Dove - posted on 04/28/2012

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I'm not reading the 6 pages of responses, but after just reading the op it sounds like your baby is a miracle that is meant to be here. I hope you realize that before it's too late for him/her.

Michelle - posted on 04/28/2012

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I was 41 yrs old when i was told the same thing for my son, and an ultrasound which can measure the peak of babies nose and the femur bone can give you reassurance or reason to have the aminocentesis....i had normal measurements and tiold them to scratch the amino....my son was born dec 19th and healthy with no issues....it's terrible the worry and stress i went through the rest of my pregnancy and that's not good as well....good liuck to you

Georgie - posted on 04/28/2012

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When I was pregnant with my first child in 2001 (born march 2002) I was 21 years old. I had the regular blood tests done, and my doctor's receptionist rang me at work ( very unprofessionally) to tell me my chance of a down syndrome baby went from i in 1200 or so to 1 in 75. I can tell you I was shocked and confused. My doctor was shocked that I did not want to have the Amniocentesis test and tried to convince me to do it. I didn't and by daughter was born healthy and down syndrome free. I can't speak for all cases, but I have friends who have aborted healthy babies because of the results of these tests.
Remember these tests are invasive and can cause harm to the feotus.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and I hope for the positive outcome for you.
I know if you do carry to full term, the baby will be loved and cared for by a caring mother.

Mickie - posted on 04/27/2012

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hi, I am 41 yrs old and 2 yrs ago I was pregnant with my son and was told i had a 70% chance of him being born with downs. I did some research and found out that this test is not very accurate. They did a level 2 sono on me and i was told he didn't have downs. He is a healthy 20 month old boy. My advice is that i will refuse to take the test with the next pregnancy. Got me worried over nothing. Get the level 2 sono.

Amy - posted on 04/27/2012

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When my Mom was 36 yrs old and 4 months pregnant with my brother the doctor told her she would most likely have a DS baby. The doctor said my mom should have an Abortion but since my family is Catholic and against Abortion she refused and my brother was born with no problems at all!!

Mrs. - posted on 04/27/2012

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Hey just so you know, I had the same procedure, although they call it a LEEP here, before I got pregnant. They were a bit worried about my cervix and I was high risk (although it was mainly for other reasons), but they said, worse case scenario, they'd put a couple extra stitches in there.



Have your docs said that you, for sure, have "no chance" of having another child or are you just in a panic and assuming that? I mean many women carry children to full term after a LEEP and since you've already carried child to term the chances are even higher. In fact, I have an old family friend who had a LEEP done and ended up carrying triplets to term not that long ago. Are you sure you have the up to date info on LEEPs and the ability to carry children afterwards?



As far as Down's babies go, my father worked for a non-profit that works with handicapped people. I grew up around the disabled. It was normal for me and interacting with those who had Down's happened regularly. In particular, I got to interact with a few babies with Down's and many children with Down's. May I say, this is a generalization mind you, but in my experience, Down's babies are some of the sweetest, most content babies I've ever been around. It is true, people with Down's have huge challenges, but, IME, being content and bringing richness to people's lives are generally not included. There are exceptions, but raising a Down's child is not all challenges...it can also mean a great deal of enrichment in your life. I only mention these things in case you find out you are carrying a DS baby and still want to carry it.



Whatever choices you make, make sure you are fully informed about all of it, have second opinions and have strong people around you to support whatever it is you feel is right for you and your family.



Edit:

I didn't see your post about not wanting a DS baby. That is totally your choice and I respect that. I don't want you to think I'm judging you by what I wrote. I just missed that assertion when I wrote it.

Fiona - posted on 04/27/2012

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My main point is a want my child to live a normal life, to live, love, and be able to have children of his/her own one day. That is not really possible for someone with DS. I personally think its unfair to deny a person of a fulfilling happy life. One which is not held back by a servere disability. Really if all that you have to do when apon reading my post is critisize, then i really dont need to know what's on your minds. I do not wish to have a child with Down's, and that is MY CHOICE, as Veronika so kindly and intelligently pointed out. So please keep your negative thoughts about my choice to abort a POSSIBLE Down's Syndrome child (which i now have 2 good signs that it may well not be, given baby has nuchal trans of 1.3 and a normal nasal bone structure) to yourself.

Kristen - posted on 04/27/2012

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Hi Fiona. I just wanted to lend some support to you in this time of fear and confusion. I read what several other moms posted, and have to agree with what they said about the testing. I have heard of so many women that had the testing done, and they all had false positives. I am one of the extremely blessed moms that has a son with Down Syndrome. I did not have any of the prenatal testing done with the exception of routine ultrasounds... My personal feeling is that anything life alteringly severe will be seen on these ultrasounds. I specifically asked the ultrasound technician each time to check for those markers for DS that can be seen, extra fold of skin on the back of the neck, pinky finger, etc, and my son had none of these. In fact, I had a 3D ultrasound done of his precious little face 2 weeks before he was born. My son was born with no heart defects, and other than reflux and occasional ear and upper respiratory infections, is completely healthy. He is at least 10 pounds heavier than my daughter was at the same age!! While he is delayed slightly physically, he just tested at an 18 month level for his cognitive ability... He is not quite 16 months old.

If you feel that you would really have a problem caring for this child if in fact he/she does have DS, do yourself a huge favor and educate yourself on Down Syndrome. I had several years of experience working with the disabled, and still found information that I was not aware of after my son was diagnosed. People with DS are the most loving and caring people that I have ever met in my life. Not to mention the most beautiful! I too considered myself "too young" to be in the higher risk category for this, but I was 33 when my son was born. There are several videos on YouTube about and featuring people with Down Syndrome. My absolute favorite is "Welcome to Holland..." This describes so well the emotions and feelings that you may feel when your child is diagnosed with any disability. We don't consider my son any different than my daughter... She says that he has "Up Syndrome" because it doesn't keep him down! I hope that I could be some help to you, and I hope to see a reply from you updating us on how you are doing. Remember... God doesn't make mistakes. He chooses only the strongest parents to care for His special children.

Sandy - posted on 04/27/2012

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Hi, I understand how you are feeling. I had the same blood test to see if my baby had down's as well. I was 38 at the time of the test.I want to let you know that 5% of those tests come back with a false positive like mine did. My test came back positive and I went into shock. It had been 16 yrs since I had me last child. So they called me in and my nurse practisioner gave me two options and one of them I was totally against. I would not abort my child if it had down's. So she sent me to McMaster's hospital in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada to have amniocentesis done. I was a little scared to have that done cause of the risks and I didn't want to loose this baby, so I opted to have a 2D and 3D ultra sound to check for other things that can rule out downs. They can look for webbing in the baby's hands and feet, the bone in the bridge of the nose, the bone in the pinky finger as well as to see if the bone in the leg is short or not. Do some research and ask around. Ask for them to do an untrasound first and get the results from that and if they think there are signs of downs in the ultrasound then go for the amnio. Ask for genetic screening counselling. Always voice your concerns and make sure someone there is truly listening to you and not just doing what they want to do. My daughter was fine and healthy when she was born. She was also my surprise baby and a blessing. I wish you all the best and my thoughts and prays are with you.

Lashawn - posted on 04/27/2012

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I was not going to comment but I could not hold back the tears. Down Sydrome child is one of the most loving experiences ever. I am a SINGLE mother of four, two normal, one with ADHD with serious behavior issues and one with down Sydrome. My son (ADHD) is a 11th grade honor roll student and my daughter (Down's) is a 7th grade honor student. Raising them all has not been a walk in the park but I would do it all over again. I had no idea that my daughter was down's intil I birth her. It would have made a differenceto me because GOD do make mistakes. It was mend to be. I would not trade any of them for all of riches in this world. We can learn from a child born with a disability. They are going to give us the most honest love that we have ever experienced. I pray that all is well with you. My faith gets me thru daily.

Terralyn - posted on 04/27/2012

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I am having a hard time with this post.its not just with Fiona's saying she would abort if the child has down syndrome its also all the other parents who say their child was born "healthy". i have a wonderful HEALTHY 15 year old who happens to have down syndrome. the more posts i read the more disturbed i get. Seriously if people keep referring to DS as a disease its no wonder new parents worry about having a child with DS. i had my son at 26 and i found out a week after he was born that he had DS but i wouldn't undo him for anything. Please consider the feelings of those of us who have children with DS when you say thank goodness my baby was born healthy. I personally feel you have no idea what you are missing out on plus my son is not sick, he does not have a disease, he has DS and he is absolutely amazing, the pure unconditional love, the ability to forgive others is absolutely amazing to see. Yes there are difficulties but the good far outweighs the extra work. i wish there were more people like my son!

Julie - posted on 04/27/2012

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You are very welcome. This is the first time I have ever commented on this site, but I really felt a need to give you some encouragement. Just know, when that sweet baby gets here the love you feel for her will overwhelm any disabilities she might have. Please keep us posted.

Fiona - posted on 04/27/2012

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Thanks for the encouragement julie. Made me feel great. I feel a great boost of self esteem from your comment. :(

Julie - posted on 04/27/2012

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Google "The Love Chromosome" on You Tube. Even "normal" children can come with different issues unknown at birth. Babies are a gift.

Janessa - posted on 04/27/2012

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I only know there is a higher power in control of everything. I know that. I have a personal relationship with my Heavenly Father and you can too. Talk to him, he will help you feel the peace and comfort that you so desperately need right now, he will also tell you what to do. I say this because I know it. He will listen, just ask him. He loves you.

Terralyn - posted on 04/27/2012

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This is very distrubing to read as the mom of a wonderful 15 year old with Down Syndrome. I do understand your fears but let me assure you you can do it. my ex walked out when he heard our child had Down Syndrome and I raised 3 on my own, one typical child, one with Aspergers and one with Down Syndrome. I was 26 when my son was born. I don't think your age really is a factor. I honestly can't say anything to you beyond that. it hurts me to think anyone would abort a baby just because it may be born with Down Syndrome. I am not saying this to put a guilt trip on you its just my gut reaction. I think if you have people around you to support you, you can do it. I had none and i made it my kids are now 15, 17 and 19 and i am very proud of them!

Helenlox - posted on 04/27/2012

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Hi Fiona,



I was in your shoes - I had a LLETZ procedure with half of my Cervix removed about 6 months prior to conceiving. The miracle was conceiving at all. The Dr's didn't think I would be able with some other issues I had aswell. I also tested positive with DS. The scary part is my husbands aunt has DS so I knew it was a risk. I never had any intention of aborting however because after being around people with DS, they are so loving and caring I knew there would be nothing to worry about. Now my daughter came out fine as the test was a false positive but I did worry and make plans for the remainder of my pregnancy. Had I have aborted, I would have aborted a perfectly fine baby... Think about the consequences before you act. It is your body to do with as you wish, but chances are it will be a false positive with your chances so high!



Good luck!

Jean - posted on 04/27/2012

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I had the same thing happen when I was pregnant with my 3rd child. After the shock wore off I asked more question & did some of my own research. I discovered that the triple screen test is less than 50 percent accurate. I chose not to do the amnio, but I had Beautiful baby boy and he was perfectly fine! Just a side note I was only in my late 20's when this happened.

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