Video game temper tantrums from 6 year old son, please read and help if you can?

Melinda - posted on 07/22/2012 ( 17 moms have responded )

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My son is 6 and he loves video games. I encourage video games to a point because I believe they teach valuable skills; hand eye coordination, problem solving, creative thinking, etc...The problem is that he gets extremely mad when he can't do something he tries to do. He screams at the top of his lungs and throws the worst temper tantrums. I have tried helping him at various parts of the game (and it doesn't matter if the games are rated E or T-hes allowed some t's and no m's.) He's very smart but extremely impatient (normal for a 6 yr old I know). I make him take breaks but the fits continue. Anyone have any better ideas in handling this behavior?

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Ella - posted on 09/26/2012

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Megan I could not agree more with your reply,if u ditch ur kids consoles and what not it dose become forbidden fruit,my sons best friend stays over our house every now and then,he is hardly EVER allowed to play his Xbox at home when he cums here all he wants to do is play the Xbox,I no when he leaves home it will probly be one of his first purcheseus!my son however who has freedom on his computers has learned him self how to regulate his own time on it and he will spend 3 hrs in one blast on it about 1nce rarely 2ice a month on it,like others have sed thoe if he throws a disruptive fit on it then I'd turn it off n leave it for a good 1 or 2hrs before giving it back saying if u throw a fit agen I'll switch it off again

Pamela - posted on 07/25/2012

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Explain to him that since the games seem to cause him such undue frustration, perhaps putting them away for 2 or 3 days might be best.

Allowing him to repeat the patterns of frustration and tantrums can be defeating to his personality growth at this point in his development.

Whatever happened to parents being able to say NO to their children? Has this generation of parents not understood the absolute needs for boundaries being set in the parenting process?

Heather - posted on 07/23/2012

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Melinda, I never add a reply here but since I have a five and eleven year old and I have been under attack for allowing them to play the X Box, play station 2, and Wii I wanted you to know I have been there. I normally only let play for an hour a day if there have done well in school and done chores without complainant. (Please not I homeschool so I know just how they do all day long because I am with them unless they go somewhere.) I also wanted to point out we play the sports games and singing games on these systems as a family twice a week if they get enough stickers to earn this for family game night otherwise we play Uno or Sorry. Now back to you problem, I have found my son to be responsive to losing the video game and any video game time for that day and the next day. Anytime he asks to play after throwing a fit, we calmly go over why he cannot play. I do not just tell him but I often have him tell me why, it won't take long if you never waiver. Also do a sticker chart or something make him earn hus game time!! Then if he loses it he has to earn it back over the next day or to while he can't play. Good luck, and do what you think is best and remember you are the parent and only follow the advise the speaks to you. (This includes mine!! :o) Again good luck!!)

Denikka - posted on 07/22/2012

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I agree with Meme. Cut out the video games. I would encourage more team related activities, like sports. They can teach graceful winning AND losing, teamwork and other social skills along with things like hand eye coordination and other physical skills.
Video games can definitely have their place, but I firmly believe they should be limited. Encourage real world contact instead of virtual. :)

MeMe---(Past And Present) - posted on 07/22/2012

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I say, stop letting him play video games. There are far more tools out there to teach the skills you are looking for him to ascertain. What do you think they did back in the day, when there were no such things as video games? Video games are crap, sorry to say.

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Megan - posted on 09/22/2012

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what if he isent an althlete? Team sports at good if you have a nack for them if not it is a good way to touture your kid get them made fun of. even more if winning and lossing is involved. what if he doesn't like them? why spend money on someothing your kid doesnt want to do.

Alexandra - posted on 09/22/2012

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I do believe these video games are not good for your son. He lets himself go to much into the game and does not understand that he can not have that behaviour.

When he does the tantrums, I would take the games away. And have them away for a while. Then give him another chance. If he does it again, then take the games away for a little while longer. Meanwhile, have him be distracted with something else, some coloring, some books, some puzzles, something age appropriate and something that he is good at so that he does not become so angry at himself.

Oh, and screaming is a NO NO. No exceptions.

Melissa - posted on 07/26/2012

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I've downloaded many age appropriate games on my i-Touch for my 4 year old. I do not see this as being harmful in any way unless he was to spend too much time on it. He utilizes flash cards, plays maze and puzzle games, ANGRY BIRDS lol, and lots of strategic games I didn't even think he'd be able to play at this age. Most of the games he taught himself to play. My husband is a genious when it comes to anything electronic so I suppose it runs in his blood. On occasion he'll ask me for help, or want me to explain how to do something, which is fine if I know the answer, but sometimes I don't. This is when he gets frustrated and may start whining about it. I tell him he can try to figure it out on his own, or he can be done. If he keeps whining, I take it away plain and simple. Fortunately he does not do this often. Tantrums are another story though. Tantrums are NOT ACCEPTABLE. Especially at age 6 over a video game. That just would not fly in my house. If it gets to that point don't even hesitate to take it away. Let him know that you mean business and that if he gets too overwhelmed then he obviously is not mature enough to handle it. Like other ladies suggested perhaps make him earn his Game Time. Or switch him to Leap Frog, I-Touch or I-Pads where you can control what he plays. It might be a little difficult at first since you've already introduced him to more mature games which he may miss, but that's too bad. If he doesn't like the new games you get him then just cut him off. There's tons of other stuff he can do.

Megan - posted on 07/24/2012

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as werid as this sound i see this behavour in my fiance when we frist moved in together. he would yell and scream to the point where our neighbour called his parents. this is what i did to him and now he is calm he does get agitated but never to the point of anger. Take the games away when he has the fit and explain when he call play like an adult he can have them back. also dont help him it will help his patience. video games in the right amount with the right supervisation are great. also for though who "my kids don't play and won't" you should because video games are here and appart of our ever day lives and by preventing you kids access they become the forbidden fruit the will turn into an addiction because they didnt learn to regulate it at a yoing age.

Tiffany - posted on 07/23/2012

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Try letting him play a leap frog. Its like a game boy and they have games for 4-10 yr olds.. My 6 yr old son plays them all the time. He is in 1st gr and the games have him on a 2nd gr level. I can see where teen level games will make thro fits BC most of those games gave terrible violentence in them which he is also learning from the games. Leap pad leap frogs etc help

Tracie - posted on 07/23/2012

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I can imagine that it's very frustrating for a 6 year old to try and play a video game that was designed for a teenager. Let him play games that are at his physical and intellectual level and that should cut down on the frustration immensely. Better yet, ditch the games altogether. There are lots of ways to teach the assets you mentioned.

Tina - posted on 07/22/2012

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He will have a temper tantrum when you take the game away and turn it off. But he will eventually play nice or not at all. Give him some puzzles and other games as means to improve his skills. I take stuff away. They need to learn to they have to earn these privaledges. Same with others come to my house. Toys are put away if they want to play they have to show me they can be good then they can have an item to play with but if they misbehave or fight. It gets put away.

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OK, so when my 5 year old throws a tantrum at the computer game he is told to stop the tanty or the game is over. If he doesn't stop, guess what? The game is OVER.

Dove - posted on 07/22/2012

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I'm another one in favor of a video game ban. I do allow the kids some time on the computer, but we have no gaming systems and won't before they are teenagers and paying for them themselves.... and they will still be highly regulated.

Jodi - posted on 07/22/2012

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Yeah, I have to agree with removing the games altogether. If he can't behave appropriately with them, then he can't have them at all.

S. - posted on 07/22/2012

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Iv seen this with loads of children, mostly boys and not just video games, board games, jigsaws, for not winning races. I think it's just a part of growing up, learning to deal with the frustration of loosing and learning that sometimes we can't do things. I would take him off the game everytime he lost his temper.

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