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Wanting a second child but husband does not want anymore

Rebecca - posted on 05/08/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My daughter is already 4 years old and my husband underwent a vasectomy over a year ago. He did nt do it behind my back but I guess I agreed to it thinking that he might still change his mind. Well he did not change his mind. Now I regret it even though it was the right choice at the time. We are financially not stable I am currently working on my masters and I did not want to fall pregnant by accident. Now all of my friends are already on their 2nd or even 3rd babies and I am actually feeling very jealous. I love my husband and we have finally reconnected after a shaky couple of years which on the on hand makes me think well since everything is finally perfect why wouldnt we want another one but on the other hand I think well why would we want to mess with this perfect situation. I just cant shake this feeling off that this was my one and only pregnancy. Time is passing by so quickly and I am still fertile but in a couple of years things will be different and I dont want to miss my last oppportunity. I was hoping that by now my husand would change his mind and would long for a child and possibly undergo a reversal vasectomy but no sign of that. I dont really know what answer I am looking for but is anybody in a similar situation?

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Whitney - posted on 05/10/2012

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HI EVERYONE MY NAME IS WHITNEY
I HAVE TWO WONDERFUL BOYS MY OLDEST ONE WILL BE FIVE IN JUNE AND MY BABY JUST TURNED TWO IN MARCH AND I WANT ANOTHER ONE IS THIS A GOOD THING OR A BAD THING... I JUST CAN NOT TALK MY BOYFRIEND TO HAVE ANOTHER ONE HE SAID IN THE PAST HE DOSE NOT WANT NO MORE HOW CAN I TALKING HIM INTO IT ANY IDEAS???

Kandy - posted on 05/10/2012

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I am in a similar situation. My husband and I have 2 boys together. We agreed before we got married that we only wanted 2 children unless we were to end up having 2 boys, then we would have a third to see if we would have a daughter. Half way my pregnancy with our second son he decided he wanted to go and have a consultation for a vasectomy. I thought this was just a " I am curious about my options" after we have our third. A week later he is asking me if he should get a vasectomy now while his insurance covers it 100%. I told him that I thought he should give it time and that I thought he should wait cause we agreed to have a third, and if he had it done he would regret it. Well not even 2 weeks later he was getting his vasectomy knowing that I wanted ( and we had agreed to have a third). It almost split us apart because I still want another child. My husband now admits that he made a huge mistake, but now we are stuck in the situation of what is the best way to have another baby. He is not even sure if wants another one so I am in limbo along with you. I have always dreamed of having a daughter, and i know that I may end up having another boy, but I don't want to feel as if I gave up on an almost life long dream. I feel your pain, even though I am blessed to have my 2 boys, there is a void that may not be filled. And that is a crappy feeling.

Stella - posted on 05/08/2012

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I'm pretty sure if my husband had went as far as having a vasectomy I would take that as a definite that he didn't want any more kids

Have you tried talking to him about it? To see if he'd consider a reversal, it's really only something you as a couple can resolve either way

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