My 20 month old is screaming!

Sara - posted on 07/14/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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We can't get our 20 month old to stop screaming for everything... Any ideas?

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Shelley - posted on 07/17/2009

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"My 20 month old is screaming!



We can't get our 20 month old to stop screaming for everything... Any ideas?"




Sara my question to you is how is his hearing? My daughter also screamed for quite a while then we found out she had a huge hearing loss in both ears. Your 20 month old is probably screaming not for the same reason but its worth a question.

Shawn - posted on 07/16/2009

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I have 4 children (4, 5, 7, 13 - 5 yo is the only boy). I had one screamer and that was my son from ages 1 through 3. With my daughters, if they screamed or [rarely] threw a tantrum, I would just tell them to cut it out in a very firm tone and it was over. My son would scream out of frustration and no matter what I told him, it was the only thing he could do to express how he felt or what he really wanted. Today, at almost 6 years old, if he gets frustrated and isn't sure how to express what he means, he will pause for a very long time and then answer once he has his thoughts together...if he doesn't think about it for a while, he will stutter through what he is saying and then just say "never mind". My point: try everything under the sun (including ignoring him until he calms down) to get him to stop, but at the same time understand that it may just be his "way" of learning and figuring out his world. My mistake in the beginning was assuming "none of the girls did it and he's not going to do it either!" Sometimes kids have to be allowed to be different and you just have to figure out the best way to cope. Hope that makes sense.

Connie - posted on 02/25/2012

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stop responding...simply tell them you can not hear them when they yell and that you will be glad to help when they can ask in a normal voice...it doesnt take long for them to understand. good luck and God bless

Amanda - posted on 07/16/2009

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I have 2 children (10 and 3). My oldest would tantrum, scream, and smack his head off the floor purposely to get my attention. I was a new mom so it took me awhile to figure out what to do. After speaking to the pediatrician, I began ignoring his behavior. He would stop within 2 minutes! Then my second child is MUCH more challenging! He is very persistant and strong-willed (putting it nicely). Time-outs, trying to calm him down by talking to him, ignoring him --NONE of these worked. I found that the more I ignored him the worse the tantrum would get. He tried biting my leg, throwing himself AT me, thrashing all over the floor. It was nerve-racking and horrifying!!! He has gotten better the older he gets. If he starts now, he knows I won't listen until he is speaking-not whining or crying. I found that I just wanted the tantrum to stop so I would not be patient enough to give it a chance. It is very difficult to NOT give in when you're a single parent, worked all day, and trying to cook dinner at 5:30. It can be done.....PATIENCE.

Jules - posted on 07/14/2009

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I just told my 21/2 yo that I couldn't understand screaming or crying and that if he wanted to talk to me he had to use his words and ask for things nicely. It took a while for him to relise that I wasn't going to listen to him until he stoped screaming, But it worked.

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Jenna - posted on 05/28/2013

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Reading threw these for abit of help my 20month old does nothing but scream all day no matter what I do he cant say the simpliest of words not cup not snug nothing so telling him to stop screaming and tell me he cant im at my whits end this is my second child and dont understand why im finding this one so difficult please help someone

Christine - posted on 01/06/2012

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Another idea might be if he is crying and acting out because he wants that toy or chips or down while you are in the store you could leave the store if he won't stop. Now I know this can be a big headache to get ready to do your shopping and then have to leave. But he has to learn that acting out is not the way to ask for something. Also stop totally stop buying him anything while you are shopping no toy for being good no food so you can shop while he eats. He gets nothing while you are shopping. This will get in his head that shopping means that shopping not fun for baby. If you can get him to understand that when you go places he is more likely to be patient while you go to dr mall or friends. Hope this is understandable and good luck

Tyea - posted on 07/14/2009

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The other's replys work great for when your 20 month old is screaming. But remember to take in consideration your child's physical state. Is he hurt? Is there something legitimately wrong with him? It usually takes just a glance to tell the reason he's screaming. Then, like the others said, when your 20 month old is screaming tell him in a calm low voice, without anger or excitement, that you can't understand him and his screaming hurts your ears. If he continues to scream or throw fits then ignore him. Walk to another room or continue what you are doing. If you have other children that need your attention and they are behaving then do what you need to do for them. If your son comes to you while doing this and continues with the screaming or fit throwing then explain to him in the same voice as before that once he talks to you in a normal quieter voice with throwing a fit then you will be able to understand him bettter and be able to help him. This can be nerve racking the first couple of time. But be strong and remember its a power struggle and that you are helping your child learn for his future. Remember not to reward him with your attention until he is calm. He will catch on soon enough and make your 's and his life alot easier.

Vicki - posted on 07/14/2009

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I agree with the other poster(s)..... when your 20 month old is screaming pretend like you cannot hear him until he uses an appropriate tone.

User - posted on 07/14/2009

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I concur with Geri. I would tell my little one to use his indoor voice and that screaming hurts my ears or that I couldn't understand him. The same went for whining. Not giving in to the "voice" really helped. They learn quick that if they want to get what they want, they need to speak appropriately. Just like using manners.

Geri - posted on 07/14/2009

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Make sure to always talk to him in a low voice, particularly if he screams for something. Tell him that the loud voice really hurts your ears, and act like it does. (overacting here works well too). Tell him that you can't hear/understand him with the loud voice. Again, the more he screams, the quieter you should talk. This helped my daughter learn to regulate her voice.

Tyea - posted on 07/14/2009

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The other's replys work great for when your 20 month old is screaming. But remember to take in consideration your child's physical state. Is he hurt? Is there something legitimately wrong with him? It usually takes just a glance to tell the reason he's screaming. Then, like the others said, when your 20 month old is screaming tell him in a calm low voice, without anger or excitement, that you can't understand him and his screaming hurts your ears. If he continues to scream or throw fits then ignore him. Walk to another room or continue what you are doing. If you have other children that need your attention and they are behaving then do what you need to do for them. If your son comes to you while doing this and continues with the screaming or fit throwing then explain to him in the same voice as before that once he talks to you in a normal quieter voice with throwing a fit then you will be able to understand him bettter and be able to help him. This can be nerve racking the first couple of time. But be strong and remember its a power struggle and that you are helping your child learn for his future. Remember not to reward him with your attention until he is calm. He will catch on soon enough and make your 's and his life alot easier.

Vicki - posted on 07/14/2009

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I agree with the other poster(s)..... when your 20 month old is screaming pretend like you cannot hear him until he uses an appropriate tone.

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