Welfare people have the right to have families too!!

Melissa - posted on 01/31/2010

I wasn't in a union at the time so no they couldn't help
my partner has applied up that way but they saidwe would have to move closer to the area and we don't have the money to be moving that far or just moving in general cause we don't have the money to pay the bond on a unit so it makes it difficult to get a job when they expect us to move closer
and my friend got called into work last minute and had to leave for a couple of hours but for your information we spent most of the day together catching up

Melissa - posted on 01/31/2010

Like I said before I tried to sue but we couldn't affort the the legal aid to sue so I couldnt do anything about it

Sheree - posted on 01/31/2010

Melissa you live in nowra, depending on which side, (i dont need to know) you are about 40-60 minutes from Wollongong, in between you have Kiama, Shellharbour, Warrawong and Dapto, plus wollongong itself. Shellhabour and Dapto are booming at the moment, there is always jobs in construction etc and retail. Have you tried these areas. Im not sure how far way things are further south, but there is batemans bay, ulladulla. Im sure you partner could try looking for a job there. Were you in the union with your previous job? If you were thats what they are there for to help employees, they would of helped you with unfair dismissal.
And back to staying at your friends that you havent seen for a while?? If you havent seen them, why were you on their internet for hours, you posted on here several times last night. Personally if i hadnt seen someone for a while, i would want to be spending some time with them, not using their internet

Tammy - posted on 01/31/2010

Melissa we're not talking about you "sitting on your butt and doing nothing". We are talking about the comments you have made regarding plans to have another child while on welfare. You say 5 years. Well at the rate things are going it sounds to me like you will still be on welfare in 5 yrs. There are just no more excuses and maybe it's just the way you have worded your comments that make us feel that you aren't really trying as hard as you could. My recession comment was directed at Amber by the way.

Melissa - posted on 01/31/2010

There is such thing as multipul pages at the moment I have 4 seperate pages going that I am using to look for schooling like some of you suggested and applying for jobs that have minimum wage and everything just cause I'm on here doest mean I'm not doing something else to try better things for my family
we would love to move but we need the money to be able to move and we don't want to be taking more of your money

Tammy - posted on 01/31/2010

Melissa you may want to read the comment Sheree posted about the library. What's the story there? As far as getting fired from your job while pregnant, where I live there are laws that protect a woman from getting fired when pregnant. The employer would face one heck of a lawsuit over something like that and I know a woman that did sue an employer for firing her. Child support? I deal with that one too. My ex never has had to pay me much because at the time of our divorce he was making very little. Once he started making more money and I tried to get it increased it just wasn't worth the expense of paying an attorney and fighting for months in court. Jane you are so thoughtful! :-) It would be such a loss to society if I could no longer work to support others due to my injuries!

Melissa - posted on 01/31/2010

I was staying at a friends last night who I haven't seen for a while
but fine I'll give you what you all want to hear you all just want me to say hey I'm on welfare and sit on my butt all day doing nothing and wasting the money I get on cable internet and things I don't need
well you are all wrong I do the best I possible can to get a job or anything inthe way of that where I can earnmy money
we may not get much but we make it last and you may not think it's alot for child support but it is alot to us when we don't get much to begin with
and I'm not a load of bull I am honest in everything I have said but yous only keep seeing what you want to
I was going to sue but we couldn't afford the legal aid to sue so I was screwed either way
and I'm not blaming the recession for us not being able to get jobs I'm just saying that at the moment where I live there is very little in the way of jobs and they go to the younger people
our friendshave tried helping at least my parner to get a job but they too have been unsuccessful

Anisca - posted on 01/31/2010

your in a place where there isnt many options for jobs try moving somewhere else noone is saying youi shoulddnt b aloud to have any kids but keep it real with your self move 4 the better to a bigger area with more options....

Isobel - posted on 01/31/2010

My old boss just lost $40 000 for firing a woman who admitted she was knocked up on her second day.

Amanda - posted on 01/31/2010

somehow i don't buy it that you are using the computer at the library, you are on here an awful lot, and have mentioned that you can't look for work/ find a job because you are breast feeding and baby won't take a bottle, blah blah blah.... if you have time to be on this site you have time to be out job hunting...... not only that but most places that offer internet for free don't allow you to upload personal files such as pictures.... you have a profile picture.....

what i am seeing now from you is a "whoa is me, everyone give me your sympathy" as your situation seems to get worse and worse with every post. i no longer have sympathy for you. grow up and accept responsibility for yourself and your child, i am a firm beleiver in "where there's a will there's a way" clearly you lack the actual will to support yourself

Sharon - posted on 01/31/2010

Ok I'm not justifying anything, but ...

.. I was fired when I was pregnant. NOT because I was pregnant -oh no - he didn't say that. But because over the past year I had been late 3 times - usually doing errands he asked me to do before coming in, pick up his drycleaning, pick up another worker who was to hungover to drive in, shit like that.

Arizona has a lame ass law that allows corporations with less than 30 employees to fire employees "For the good of the company" and no one can fight it.

I called every lawyer in the phone book but not a single one was interested in taking the case.

Jane - posted on 01/31/2010

Where I'm from there are laws against being fired while pregnant/or after having a baby as long as you go back to work with in a reasonable time frame. Do you not have that?

Jodi - posted on 01/31/2010

Melissa, it is illegal to fire someone for being pregnant - you should have sued for unlawful dismissal. It is probably too late now.

Keep trying with the bottle/sippy cup. Don't give in and feel sorry for him and end up just breastfeeding anyway. He will NOT starve himself. He may go hungry for a while, but he will eventually take the bottle/sippy cup and get the message.

Sheree - posted on 01/31/2010

which library do you go to then melissa? please read my previous post

Tammy - posted on 01/31/2010

And also Melissa I was 18 when I left home and 19 when I had my son and divorced before I turned 22 because my husband decided he wanted to be unfaithful. When people saw me struggling they went out of their way to help me find jobs. Would you like to know why? Because I was not the kind of person to sit around making excuses for my problems. They saw me putting forth the effort to do better and they were more than happy to help me find solutions.

Melissa - posted on 01/31/2010

Some of you aren't reading what I'm saying I had a job and got fired for being pregnant I don't have Internet I go to the library and use thier computers the phone I have was a present from my parents I have tried bottle feeding and sippy cup but nothing has been working for me so far I have tried many of the things you have suggested many times before with no success I would like to finish school and I will be looking into the online courses my partner finished school 5 years ago and had a job til he had to take care of his daughter and hasn't been able to get back in the work force so to improve his chances he is going to tafe and doing 2 different courses to increase his skills
but you all seem to be ignoring that

Jane - posted on 01/31/2010

Tammy please quit banging your head against the wall, I don't want you to get hurt....then people on welfare won't be able to gain from you working your ass off!

Jodi - posted on 01/31/2010

I actually ignored the bullshit about child support. In this country, if you are on welfare, child support is so minimal it isn't funny. I know how much child support we pay to my husband's, and how much I receive from my ex, and we are all people with actual jobs, and believe me, it isn't a lot. It certainly isn't a "large chunk". I receive only $165 a month from my ex who is earning $40,000 a year, for our 12 year old boy just starting high school, so that gives you the general idea on how piss poor our child support system is.

Sheree - posted on 01/31/2010

Sorry i didnt read this second page before my last post, I just read that you only use the public library for your internet? Well the library closes at 7pm, yet you were still posting on here at almost 10pm last night? Just a little flaw that i found. I looked up all the libraries in the shoalhaven and the latest stays open till 7.

Tammy - posted on 01/31/2010

Okay I have just finished beating my head against the wall. And I'm like Tah, my sugar is all gone now so you will no longer hear anything that is coated with it. Melissa and Amber you two are freaking clueless. Who the hell do ya'll think you are? What makes you think you are entitled to what others work for? I don't care about the silly excuses you have. Melissa there is no reason for you to not take classes with the excuse that "my child wakes up for feedings". No crap! Do you think my child didn't wake up for feedings while I was up til 2 and 3 am in the morning trying to study and complete assignments. I breast fed both of my kids. I pumped at work. You name it I did it. If you think paying child support is the same as paying taxes then you are crazy. Your "partner" made that baby and it is his responsibilty to take care of it. NOT THE SYSTEMS!!! It makes absolutely no difference how many people post comments you are not gonna listen. Do you think that my parents and my spouses parents didn't have bills and other responsibilities that they had to take care of that prevented them from helping us? Well they did. But we didn't depend on them. We freaking figured it out!!!! And for the record, yes I would rather my tax money be put to use to improve education so that my children and others will have the skills needed in order to avoid welfare. I prefer that it not be used to support a bunch of baby making freeloaders! There is a problem somewhere if you two are struggling this much to find a job. I don't believe that you're telling the whole story here. I don't know a single person that hasn't gotten a job after putting forth the effort that you say you have. EXCUSES, EXCUSES, EXCUSES! We have all had the same problems and we didn't make excuses for it.
And as for you Amber, are you on drugs or something or are you just that damn ignorant? If karma is a bitch honey you better hold onto your ass!!! What goes around comes around. You use and abuse the system, then someone or the system will use and abuse you. I wanted to have my children close together as well, but you know what, it didn't work out that way because I was a responsible adult and chose to wait until I had finished school and got off of welfare. THAT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. And no that doesn't make me better than you but it sure as hell makes me alot smarter!! My kids are 10 yrs apart but at least I have them and I can take care of them. We don't always get what we want in life and to think we're entitled to is just absolute B*##S^&@@!!! You have some serious issues. Why don't you have a job? Don't even try to use the recession as an excuse. If you had a job before what excuse do you have for getting fired or for not having that job now? I'm quite sure you have a really GOOD one! So what if your husband has a job, you are still using the system and you shouldn't have more children either. Go to school and learn how to do something besides sitting around bitching and griping about what you do and don't have. If you are poor, married, and have children you don't have to pay for school anyway. You can get grants and aid that doesn't have to be paid back. Stop bad mouthing those of us that support your worthless ass and do something for yourself. Something like make money and buy TVs that you actually earned and paid for! Or better yet, use the money to pay for what is important like food, clothing, and shelter!! Ugh! Get off your high horse chick! You aren't anymore entitled to these benefits than I am and I'm quite sure that I have paid a hell of alot more into this system than you.

Pam - posted on 01/31/2010

You should have as many children as you want as long as you can pay for all their needs, on your own.

Amanda - posted on 01/31/2010

oh, i forgot to add.... it's quite irksome that so many people admit to barely making it day to day financially, yet they all have internet??? and with that i bet cable as well? becuase i know when things got tight with my hubby and i, internet and cable went out the window for awhile. it's certainly not a necessity..... just throwing it out there

Sheree - posted on 01/31/2010

I am by no means rich, i have had to work hard for everything I have. My husband works 60-70 hours per week and supports my daughter and I wonderfully. My mother had to raise my sister and I on welfare when my dad walked out when we were very young. We were always taught to do things for ourselves not to rely on other people to do it for you. I am very successful in my chosen career and worked damn hard to get there and never had anything handed to me. Amber just because we are tax payers doesnt mean we are rich, and everyone loves using the recession as an excuse when looking for a job. I know there are plenty of jobs out there, but if you have to deliver junk mail, pack shelves, do night fill, run a checkout, it doesnt matter what it is, its a start.

Amanda - posted on 01/31/2010

i've merely skimmed through most of the posts on this thread so if any of this is redundant, i appologize in advance..... i have nothing against using welfare/accepting welfare when needed, but at that point one should only take what they need and work toward improving thier financial state with the end goal of getting off of welfare as soon as they can.

Melissa-you have internet..... how could you not know about internet courses????? i really think that if you truly are unable to find a job at this point it's time to start improving your resume through online or local courses and volunteering. use your time on welfare wisely and improve upon yourself.

to everyone else with the "karma's a bitch" statements and the "quit judging" crap, i really haven't seen that many rude/judgemental posts on here except yours! are you kidding me???? no one says you have to be rich to raise a family, but so many women on this site bust thier asses to provide for thier family/thier children (at times, barely making ends meet), they could easily sit back and accept welfare instead. what kind of message does that send to the children though? what's aggravating is the thought that because you once worked you are entitled.... where does that attitude come from??? my grandparents worked thier asses off well into thier 70s, they never sat back and said "well, i've been working since i was 15 so i am entitled to live off the goevernment now."

you want to know why many people sitting on thier butts accepting welfare are judged by hard working "tax payers" (to quote some of you)? because many of you still find the time and money to go out and have your hair done, your nails done, your name brand clothes, etc, while many of us cut that out of our budgets in order to save money.

Tabitha- do you not pay taxes? you refer to all of us as "TAX PAYERS" as if you are not a contributing member of society. you also mention that you live day to day and barely have enough money to get by, yet you have openly admitted that you are a "functioning stoner", funny that you have money to support that habbit........

Jodi - posted on 01/31/2010

Melissa, I am a stay at hom mum, and also run a business from home - I manage to support my choice to be home for my children. I know EXACTLY how hard it is to be a stay at home mum. It's even harder when you are running a business so as to earn an income.



Honestly, I would have a great deal more respect for your choice to stay at home with your child while taking welfare if you were doing something for YOU to better yourself. Look into completing school first, and then into a course to give you some skills. I am not sure how to go about finishing school, but I would say you should go to the local high school and talk to them about it there. At the very least, they can point you in the right direction.



Your initial post wasn't about living on welfare, but it was about your right to have another child while you ARE on welfare. THAT is what people are objecting to. No-one said you should be out on the streets and people shouldn't help you. What they ARE saying is that you need to help yourself too. You have received a LOT of good ideas here as to what you can do to take some steps forward, and most of them you have dismissed as "too hard". Will, its not meant to be easy. It WILL be hard. But you and your family will be rewarded in the long term if you start helping yourselves now. Bringing another baby into the world in your current situation will not help anyone, including the child you already have.

Melissa - posted on 01/31/2010

im only 19 i had no choice but leave school as during my pregnancy i was in and out of hospital and missed a lot of days so i had no choice i got 2/3 of the way through year 12 and had half a term and the exams to go but i tried to stay as long as possible before leaving



my parents dont hate me for not being married and having a baby and being on welfare the just hate the fact that thier little girl is grown up enough to make her own decisions and move out of home



i had a job before i got pregnant for 2 years but after telling them i was pregnant they fired me i wanted to go back to work after having my son but have been unsuccessful



and we know what its like to pay for someone else cause every time we get money a large chunk gets taken out as child support for my partners other child who he doesnt get to see so dont say we dont know what its like



i didnt know about online classes and i will look into it and i appreciate it when people make suggestions but we have tried many of the things you are suggesting that havent been working for us



my partner finish high school and had a job but he had to leave the work force to look after his daughter while the mum was sorting out her life she is back with her mum now and we have to pay child support my partner tried to go back to the job he had before but they wouldnt take him back hence the reason we are on welfare

to

my partner is going to tafe doing carpentry and bakery courses to furtherhis qulifications and to gain more



i cant do night work as my son still wakes for feeds during the night i have tried everything to stop this but nothing has been working for me so far



we have a computer at our librarywhich is how i go on the internet you cant just assume that we have something when the commnity has these resources



as for volunteering we do volunteer when we get the chance i was just asnwering other questions and it just took me sometime to get around to it



my parents are paying off a house and still have 2 kids living at home that they need to support and they have very little to spare after they pay for everything they need to and my partners parents are in debt due to his mum being extreamly sick and needing constant medical attention so they have no money to spare to help us on our way



and at one stage everyone one has payed some form and amount of taxes and we do get tax taken out of our "pay" because we choose to do so we dont have to but we do and we dont complain about it cause even without welfare you still have to pay taxes for a whole heap of other things like roads and schools and the wars that are going that i personally think is a was of money as they are fighting over something that another country start we just got dragged into it



and being a stay at home mum isnt as easy as you all make it out to be it non stop with no breaks but i would love to have a minimum wage job just to get a break to eat

and i would much rather raise my son than havesome stranger come into my house and and raise my kid for me i had him so im taking responsabilty for him not palming him off to someone esle to deal with



i appreciate every cent i get cause i know that without it i would have nothing and be living on the streets and all you people that have been lucky enough to have a job would still look at us and say that we are no good and lazy and that its our own fault and none should help us is that what you really want thousands of families living on the street so you dont have to pay so much in taxes seriously it wouldnt meake all that much difference in the amount that you take home the government would just use it on something else and you still would be happy bout it and you would still think to yourselveswhy dont they do anything to get off the streets when you have know idea how hard we try to make thing better for ourselves!

Melissa - posted on 01/31/2010

im only 19 i had no choice but leave school as during my pregnancy i was in and out of hospital and missed a lot of days so i had no choice i got 2/3 of the way through year 12 and had half a term and the exams to go but i tried to stay as long as possible before leaving



my parents dont hate me for not being married and having a baby and being on welfare the just hate the fact that thier little girl is grown up enough to make her own decisions and move out of home



i had a job before i got pregnant for 2 years but after telling them i was pregnant they fired me i wanted to go back to work after having my son but have been unsuccessful



and we know what its like to pay for someone else cause every time we get money a large chunk gets taken out as child support for my partners other child who he doesnt get to see so dont say we dont know what its like



i didnt know about online classes and i will look into it and i appreciate it when people make suggestions but we have tried many of the things you are suggesting that havent been working for us



my partner finish high school and had a job but he had to leave the work force to look after his daughter while the mum was sorting out her life she is back with her mum now and we have to pay child support my partner tried to go back to the job he had before but they wouldnt take him back hence the reason we are on welfare

to

my partner is going to tafe doing carpentry and bakery courses to furtherhis qulifications and to gain more



i cant do night work as my son still wakes for feeds during the night i have tried everything to stop this but nothing has been working for me so far



we have a computer at our librarywhich is how i go on the internet you cant just assume that we have something when the commnity has these resources



as for volunteering we do volunteer when we get the chance i was just asnwering other questions and it just took me sometime to get around to it



my parents are paying off a house and still have 2 kids living at home that they need to support and they have very little to spare after they pay for everything they need to and my partners parents are in debt due to his mum being extreamly sick and needing constant medical attention so they have no money to spare to help us on our way



and at one stage everyone one has payed some form and amount of taxes and we do get tax taken out of our "pay" because we choose to do so we dont have to but we do and we dont complain about it cause even without welfare you still have to pay taxes for a whole heap of other things like roads and schools and the wars that are going that i personally think is a was of money as they are fighting over something that another country start we just got dragged into it



and being a stay at home mum isnt as easy as you all make it out to be it non stop with no breaks but i would love to have a minimum wage job just to get a break to eat

and i would much rather raise my son than havesome stranger come into my house and and raise my kid for me i had him so im taking responsabilty for him not palming him off to someone esle to deal with



i appreciate every cent i get cause i know that without it i would have nothing and be living on the streets and all you people that have been lucky enough to have a job would still look at us and say that we are no good and lazy and that its our own fault and none should help us is that what you really want thousands of families living on the street so you dont have to pay so much in taxes seriously it wouldnt meake all that much difference in the amount that you take home the government would just use it on something else and you still would be happy bout it and you would still think to yourselveswhy dont they do anything to get off the streets when you have know idea how hard we try to make thing better for ourselves!

Melissa - posted on 01/31/2010

im only 19 i had no choice but leave school as during my pregnancy i was in and out of hospital and missed a lot of days so i had no choice i got 2/3 of the way through year 12 and had half a term and the exams to go but i tried to stay as long as possible before leaving



my parents dont hate me for not being married and having a baby and being on welfare the just hate the fact that thier little girl is grown up enough to make her own decisions and move out of home



i had a job before i got pregnant for 2 years but after telling them i was pregnant they fired me i wanted to go back to work after having my son but have been unsuccessful



and we know what its like to pay for someone else cause every time we get money a large chunk gets taken out as child support for my partners other child who he doesnt get to see so dont say we dont know what its like



i didnt know about online classes and i will look into it and i appreciate it when people make suggestions but we have tried many of the things you are suggesting that havent been working for us



my partner finish high school and had a job but he had to leave the work force to look after his daughter while the mum was sorting out her life she is back with her mum now and we have to pay child support my partner tried to go back to the job he had before but they wouldnt take him back hence the reason we are on welfare

to

my partner is going to tafe doing carpentry and bakery courses to furtherhis qulifications and to gain more



i cant do night work as my son still wakes for feeds during the night i have tried everything to stop this but nothing has been working for me so far



we have a computer at our librarywhich is how i go on the internet you cant just assume that we have something when the commnity has these resources



as for volunteering we do volunteer when we get the chance i was just asnwering other questions and it just took me sometime to get around to it



my parents are paying off a house and still have 2 kids living at home that they need to support and they have very little to spare after they pay for everything they need to and my partners parents are in debt due to his mum being extreamly sick and needing constant medical attention so they have no money to spare to help us on our way



and at one stage everyone one has payed some form and amount of taxes and we do get tax taken out of our "pay" because we choose to do so we dont have to but we do and we dont complain about it cause even without welfare you still have to pay taxes for a whole heap of other things like roads and schools and the wars that are going that i personally think is a was of money as they are fighting over something that another country start we just got dragged into it



and being a stay at home mum isnt as easy as you all make it out to be it non stop with no breaks but i would love to have a minimum wage job just to get a break to eat

and i would much rather raise my son than havesome stranger come into my house and and raise my kid for me i had him so im taking responsabilty for him not palming him off to someone esle to deal with



i appreciate every cent i get cause i know that without it i would have nothing and be living on the streets and all you people that have been lucky enough to have a job would still look at us and say that we are no good and lazy and that its our own fault and none should help us is that what you really want thousands of families living on the street so you dont have to pay so much in taxes seriously it wouldnt meake all that much difference in the amount that you take home the government would just use it on something else and you still would be happy bout it and you would still think to yourselveswhy dont they do anything to get off the streets when you have know idea how hard we try to make thing better for ourselves!

Melissa - posted on 01/31/2010

im only 19 i had no choice but leave school as during my pregnancy i was in and out of hospital and missed a lot of days so i had no choice i got 2/3 of the way through year 12 and had half a term and the exams to go but i tried to stay as long as possible before leaving



my parents dont hate me for not being married and having a baby and being on welfare the just hate the fact that thier little girl is grown up enough to make her own decisions and move out of home



i had a job before i got pregnant for 2 years but after telling them i was pregnant they fired me i wanted to go back to work after having my son but have been unsuccessful



and we know what its like to pay for someone else cause every time we get money a large chunk gets taken out as child support for my partners other child who he doesnt get to see so dont say we dont know what its like



i didnt know about online classes and i will look into it and i appreciate it when people make suggestions but we have tried many of the things you are suggesting that havent been working for us



my partner finish high school and had a job but he had to leave the work force to look after his daughter while the mum was sorting out her life she is back with her mum now and we have to pay child support my partner tried to go back to the job he had before but they wouldnt take him back hence the reason we are on welfare

to

my partner is going to tafe doing carpentry and bakery courses to furtherhis qulifications and to gain more



i cant do night work as my son still wakes for feeds during the night i have tried everything to stop this but nothing has been working for me so far



we have a computer at our librarywhich is how i go on the internet you cant just assume that we have something when the commnity has these resources



as for volunteering we do volunteer when we get the chance i was just asnwering other questions and it just took me sometime to get around to it



my parents are paying off a house and still have 2 kids living at home that they need to support and they have very little to spare after they pay for everything they need to and my partners parents are in debt due to his mum being extreamly sick and needing constant medical attention so they have no money to spare to help us on our way



and at one stage everyone one has payed some form and amount of taxes and we do get tax taken out of our "pay" because we choose to do so we dont have to but we do and we dont complain about it cause even without welfare you still have to pay taxes for a whole heap of other things like roads and schools and the wars that are going that i personally think is a was of money as they are fighting over something that another country start we just got dragged into it



and being a stay at home mum isnt as easy as you all make it out to be it non stop with no breaks but i would love to have a minimum wage job just to get a break to eat

and i would much rather raise my son than havesome stranger come into my house and and raise my kid for me i had him so im taking responsabilty for him not palming him off to someone esle to deal with



i appreciate every cent i get cause i know that without it i would have nothing and be living on the streets and all you people that have been lucky enough to have a job would still look at us and say that we are no good and lazy and that its our own fault and none should help us is that what you really want thousands of families living on the street so you dont have to pay so much in taxes seriously it wouldnt meake all that much difference in the amount that you take home the government would just use it on something else and you still would be happy bout it and you would still think to yourselveswhy dont they do anything to get off the streets when you have know idea how hard we try to make thing better for ourselves!

Jane - posted on 01/31/2010

I agree w/ you Kate! I'm gonna tell my husband to quit making ass wipe & we can go on welfare 'cause he deserves it & is entiled to it by now...he's worked hard enough for long enough & we want another baby & I need his help @ home.

Tammy - posted on 01/31/2010

Are you kidding me? What are some of you thinking or even reading for that matter? It can't be the same things I'm reading. No one is being judgemental except the people that are on welfare and don't seem to have a job or care to get one! Everyone else has tried to make suggestions and give sound advice but it just isn't getting through. I have been there, done that and would never say that someone is a bad person or a bad parent because they need help at some point in their life. That's not the issue at hand. I am by no means rich and damn sure didn't have a thing handed to me as so many of the others have said. Each and every one of us that have commented on here have stated that we have also had hard times and have had to go outside the box for options to improve our situation.
Kathryn-You are right that God is the only one we have to answer to. But Melissa posted this on here and left herself wide open. If she can't handle the truth then she can't handle raising a child while working and going to school like many of us have had to do, much less handle having another child and adding to the stress and chaos. God gave us a brain. I would imagine that he would expect to use it for something more than taking up space within our skull. That means making wise decisions. We all make mistakes at some point in our lives. But it's not up to me to take care of it for you. You say that many of us seem to hate helping others when they need it, WRONG AGAIN!!! I help people each and every day. I help those who NEED IT! Wait did you read that correctly? Let me say it one more time...NEED IT! Having another child is not a need. That is wanting someone to support you while you just sit back and have babies. (you doesn't mean you..just anyone in general)
One more time for anyone on here that just can't seem to get it. This is all about someone planning to have another child for the system to support because they are already on welfare. If you already have children and fall on hard times then so be it. That's what welfare is for! To assist people TEMPORARILY! Not be their paycheck in order to keep having children!!!!
Carrie-You obviously have issues that extend far beyond what is being discussed here. Stripping for a living and saying that all men are unfaithful...Really? There are other choices out there. If you choose to strip and degrade yourself well that's your problem. Yes there are many unfaithful men out there but there are just as many unfaithful women. Many men are wonderful and faithful husbands. Just because you haven't found one doesn't mean they don't exist. What type of husband do you really think you're gonna land as a stripper? You can't possibly respect yourself so why would any man? I know women that have stripped for a living and if that's what they want to do then whatever. It really doesn't matter to me but what you said about husbands has nothing to do with the discussion.
Amber-I don't even know where to start. First of all, I'm not rich. I HAVE BEEN dirt poor. I don't have a need to try to get attention or sympathy for anything because "I'm a big girl and can take care of myself!" I'm not being judgemental, just trying to make a point. Is it possible that the day may come when I lose everything I have and may need assistance again? Why hell yes it is. God can give it to you and he can take it away!But you won't hear me on here whining about how people are judging me. And I won't be persecuting those who bust their ass and try to do the right thing like getting a job before expanding their family. You say you're pregnant and on welfare and you brag about it and then basically dare anyone to say anything. Well I think that puts you in the category with the people that truly do ABUSE the system. Your child has a TV. Wow! Really? How nice it must be to call yourself POOR then be able to waste money on something that is a luxury and not a necessity. And like I said before about Melissa, if you are SO POOR how the heck can you afford a computer, or phone and internet service in order to be on here and comment? When I first started out after finishing school and getting a full time job, I couldn't afford those kinds of things because I was trying to take care of necessities first. You know food, clothes, school supplies, electricity, a dependable car, a home. I just thought I would just clarify that since you quite obviously don't understand the difference between a want and a need or necessities versus luxuries. My child had a few hand-me-down toys and clothes until I could provide better. But a TV. Ha, are you freaking kidding me?
Hmmmm..Let me run this past you all. My son is in college. He applied for financial aid and received it for his tuition and his father (who I've been divorced from for more than 15 yrs) gives him money to help pay living expenses. He will of course have to pay the aid back when he finishes school. But guess what, he still has to work. He is 19 yrs old with no kind of skills or experience but he has a job 20 hrs a week and goes to school. He manages to get by. Would it be a wise decision or would it be RIGHT for him to go out and have a child with someone and then get on welfare to support them? HELL NO!!!! I pay taxes out the butt that help support the system. But that doesn't entitle him to make a foolish decision. Is it okay for me to decide one day that I don't want to work anymore because I want to stay home with my younger child, quit my job, get on welfare, then plan to have another child? NO!! Is it ok for me to walk up in someone's home and take their belongings because I think it's my RIGHT to have the nice things they have that they WORKED HARD FOR?. NO, NO, NO!!!! Being on welfare and then having another child for the system to support is not right. No matter how you look at it or what excuses you try to make! Doing that is the same as taking someone's belongings. People work hard and make money then it is TAKEN from them to support the leaches that don't work or try to do better and continue to have children and add more burden to an already stressed system. We are blessed to have a system in place that provides for us when truly needed, but if some people keep continuing to abuse it we may no longer have it. GET A CLUE PEOPLE!!

Jodi - posted on 01/31/2010

Yes, I was referring to the psychological term, LOL....

Tah - posted on 01/31/2010

@Jodi..Locus of control..that is what it is about(hadn't seen that since psy 200 lol)...but it applies...

Tah - posted on 01/31/2010

@Amber, what are you talking about?..and also, when did this become about looking down on people on welfare, if you need the goverment assistance then fine, get it, but if you have it then it means you can't afford a child, the goverment is financially supporting you and your children...



ok..back to Amber....again..what are you talking about rich people...keep up...let me tell you something, My parents had 7 children but raised 10 as my aunt was sick and couldn't raise my 3 cousins, in a 3 bedroom 1 bathroom in philadelphia, and no, not for a for a few years, til they graduated attended college or got good jobs and moved out. I had my first child at 16...went back to school after maternity leave was over and got a job at burger king,,mind you..i am 16..i got out of class caught 2 buses and the train to burger king and worked til 10 or 11, caught that same line-up back home and eventually got a second job as a hostess at ruby tuesday..you think they would have given me welfare, but i lived in my parents house, even though i paid them money everytime i got paid, plus, diapers, clothes and formula for my baby, but they didn't because on paper my parents money looked good, but what they bought home after bills, and everything 10 children needed and a few things they wanted, that money was almost non-existent. graduated at 17 and went into the next Medical Assistant program.



I was now working at the airport in a music store during school, and moved out at 18, i have struggled and done what i had to do to get where i am, which is still far from where i want to be. My husband is Navy, and believe me the pay is not what alot of people think, but before i met my husband i had 2 children, had been through 2 schools and was in my last year of nursing school for LPN..so i was on my way anyway and everything that came with him, was just bonus, so don't for one second think that i am from some rich family and should have had my sweet 16 on MTV because you are sadly mistaken.



Then you say your child has toys and t.v..blah blah blah...well here's your newsflash, even if your using welfare to supplement his income so that your child can have what they need and their want...You are not able to afford it....but i'm pretty sure this, also is falling on deaf ears...but once again, this post was not about looking down on people on welfare, i mean who has never gotten to the register and said, yeah, put that and that back, I would never look at anybody and think they were trash or anything of the sort, but if they did it and then went home and made a baby when obviously the welfare isn't even enough to get them those itms, then i would seriously question their decision-making skills

Jodi - posted on 01/31/2010

Quoting Kathryn



Melissa, please stop trying to explain yourself to Jodi. The only person we need to answer to is God. You're not going to change her mind or convince her of anything. She is stuck in a box and you should just leave her there.

Jodi - posted on 01/31/2010

Quoting Amber



just because im not rich, i didnt get everything handed to me llike they did, they have never been poor because of that and they dont put themselvfes in out position.

Quoting Amber



for all you judgemental people that think people on welfare cant support their child, i do perfectly.

Brooke - posted on 01/31/2010

Sharon, I am on goverment assistance, I do pay taxes aswell! lol I have a casual job. I now for the next month or so have 2 jobs and will be off assistance..FINALLY! I never wanted. BUT here in Lithgow, the local centrelink will force you onto it IF you are entitled to it. They take "precautions" to make sure that members of our community cope.

I think it is stupid!

I have been working at our local go-lo since I was 14 weeks pregnant. I stopped at 37 weeks for medical reasons. I went back when my daughter was 4 months old.

My little girl is now 1. I have still been there but recently went in spoke to the manager at a local nursing home about a volunteer shift. I GOT A JOB!

wow like that was hard. Prove to people that you are a good worker and they won't care how old you are.

Get off welfare then have a child, stop milking the system! You are giving your child a worse life then if you were to put him on formula go get a good job and put him in day care. Atleast then you would be doing something worth while.

Humans- we are built to manage difficult situations, to adjust. Get out of your comfort zone.

I would rather my tax money to go to the local road work or even better... SCHOOLS, my childs education. Rather than paying for another childs nappy.

Wanna know where the money I get goes?? Into my daughters account.. It is her money.

Theresa - posted on 01/31/2010

People shouldn't have babies they can't pay for....a child doesn't ask to be born.....to have a child you cannot afford is shelfish......

Charlene - posted on 01/31/2010

No, my mom got denied because other people use and abuse the system by popping out baby after baby and make it impossible for those who really need it to get it. She actually qualified for it, but she was told that she wouldn't be getting it anyway.



It's so easy to blame the recession for not getting a job.



And you say your child has everything she needs and more?

Well IMHO, the system is there to provide people who NEED it with the necessities of life, not extras like toys, COMPUTERS, cable, TELEVISIONS etc.

Emily - posted on 01/31/2010

Yes you absolutely can and should put your life on hold, as you call it. No one is entitled to get pregnant. It's not always your fault when you lose your job, but that does not mean that suddenly you are entitled to become irresponsible. You make cut backs in areas you need to. To purposely get pregnant when you can't afford it just because you can is irresponsible. You can pretend that babies don't cost money, but that is just delusional.

I can't tell you how much I would LOVE to have another baby right now. But guess what, I CAN'T AFFORD ONE! Just because I want one, doesn't make me entitled to have it.

Kate CP - posted on 01/31/2010

Wow. It amazes me how much some of y'all just don't get it. :/

Amber - posted on 01/31/2010

I DID get a job right went it was legal to, as young as i was. and now the recession. i cant get a job. it doesnt mean im gonna put my life on hold because of it! people need to stop judgeing us less fortunate. i want my kids not too far apart. so i will have that. i can provide for my kids. my husband has a job and works. your mom got denied because she didnt need it. they do alot of tests to see if you really do need it. i worked for a long time before i got on welfare so i earned it and i need it. im having kids weather you "tax payers" like it or not. i would think that tax payers would rather pay taxes to help families that need it rather than other stupid things the government does with the tax money. stop judging. karmas a bitch.

Sharon - posted on 01/31/2010

SMH - I LOVE that people who don't work are talking about how everyone pays taxes and therefore -they are entitled. um WHAT? BAWAHAHA - someone else said it too - if you ain't workin' then you ain't payin' no damn taxes. WAKE UP leaches!

Emily - posted on 01/31/2010

I work really hard for my money, and so does my husband. And we are NOT rich. Just living paycheck to paycheck. But we EARN everything.. we have nothing handed to us. The people getting things handed to them are THE ONES ON WELFARE.

No one is being judgmental, just practical and realistic. If you think being on welfare makes you financially stable, you are just deluding yourself. Welfare is meant to be a TEMPORARY solution, not a steady and permanent income. In fact in a lot of places they will deny you welfare after being on it for so many years. Then what will happen with your children? Guess they'll have to give up their TVs :P

Kate CP - posted on 01/31/2010

Never been poor? I've been on welfare. I shop at the Goodwill because I can't afford to buy things at Macy's. I am by no means "rich". If I ever need welfare again I will be thankful that it's there for me. But...I don't think it's wise or kind to purposefully get pregnant while on welfare. That's putting more strain on a system that is stretched to the limit as it is. Obviously, accidents happen and no one can fault a woman for that. But to decide to actively get pregnant, ON PURPOSE, while on welfare is not cool. Not at all.

Charlene - posted on 01/31/2010

Amber are you KIDDING me?

Most of the people posting in this thread have clearly stated how hard they have WORKED for their money. No they did not just get everything handed to them. Grow up a little.

It really pisses me off when people have that "Oh it must be nice.." attitude toward people who can afford to have nice things, as if these things just fall into their lap. I constantly hear it and yeah, it is really nice that I worked my butt of and my boyfriend worked his butt off to get the things we have.

I've been working since I was 13 so I could buy myself the things I really wanted. I HAD to go to work if I ever wanted to take part in school trips, get new clothes or do things with my friends.

I came from nothing. My mom ended up a single mother to 5 kids who worked 2, sometimes 3 jobs because she was DENIED any assistance from the government. They wouldn't even help out with childcare (where I'm from you can get subsidized daycare).

There were many nights where we only had KD or ramen noodles to eat for supper. So I know what it's like to be poor and not have enough to get by with. But that doesn't mean I just sat there and complained about it. As soon as I could, I got a job. I worked 15-20 hours a week during the school year, sometimes more and 35-45 hours a week in the summer. I took this year off to be home with my daughter and it's the first time I have taken time off since I started working, but if we couldn't afford it, I wouldn't be home. It's not a god given right to be a SAHM. Actually, in my opinion, having children is a privelige, not a right. /rant



Sorry, but saying stupid things like that really bug me.



Anyway, I have to agree with the majority. It is really selfish to even think about having another kid when you are on welfare. Not only is it unfair to the people who are supporting you, it's COMPLETELY unfair to the child you already have and can't afford. I don't care how well you budget the money given to you, you still can't afford the child you already have. PERIOD.



And what's the difference between working for money and getting it from the government? Give me a break. Are you really dumb enough to say that?



I also have to agree with Jo and the others in saying that you are just making excuses as to why you can't work. Breastfeeding is NOT a good enough excuse. Women do it everyday. Your child refusing a bottle is NOT a good enough excuse. Teach him to use a sippy cup.

If you can't find a job, go to school and upgrade your skills. There are lots of night classes and online classes you could be taking.

Kathryn - posted on 01/31/2010

Melissa, please stop trying to explain yourself to Jodi. The only person we need to answer to is God. You're not going to change her mind or convince her of anything. She is stuck in a box and you should just leave her there.

Kathryn - posted on 01/31/2010

I don't want to judge anyone nor do I want to tell someone what they have a right to do. What other families do is their business. I understand her problem. I've never gotten a welfare check but I have been on food stamps and medicaid. My husband and I were both working but he lost his job and finances we tight. We had to take care of our daughter and I was thankful for government assistance. I don't others should look down on someone because they are on welfare. Would I have a baby while on government assistance? No. But I'm not going to tell someone else not to because it's none of my business. All these people complaining that our taxpayers money is raising other people's kids need to get over themselves. It seems we are a people who hate to help others out when they need it but we are the first to hold our hand out when we need help. Melissa, all I can say is try to make the best decision for you and your family and don't concern yourself with others are thinking. You don't need any of our approval.

Tah - posted on 01/31/2010

@Carrie...Your experience must be very limited because my husband is 1000% faithful to me, if i find out otherwise, i'll let ya know and ask for change off the dollar he sticks in your thong so he can call his mama....



Now on to welfare...I know what welfare is for, and no younever now when you may need it, the problem is, when you abuse the system. why would you even want to contemplate having a child that you don't have the money or means to support. Are there people on here that have the means and still need to be sterilized, of course..and when they post i'll be on there shouting from the hills "DON'T DO IT" also.



Now persons who have children or are pregnant and have lost jobs or those using it while searching for work, or going to school, by all means..have at it, but don't turn around and say "o btw, since the goverment is here, i'll go ahead and add another mouth for everyone else to feed"...are you serious..i mean really, i'm reading this correctly, I mean If what Tammy says is true and i'm not on glue, then we are in a worse situation then i ever could have imagined...I would say use your common sense, but, it really isn't all that common.....i am cutting back on sugar so i don't have enough to coat this my dears(all who think this is ok)....she needs to stop making excuses and do something. I mean she is acting like her qualifications are so much higher than that of a teenager, so unless she left some schooling out of this post then they would pay her the same amount anyway, i'm sure they have online classes everywhere, have you started that, if you qualify for welfare you qualify to have your schooling paid for....It gets tiresome and it gets hard, but it needs to be done...

Amber - posted on 01/31/2010

p.s. for all you judgemental people that think people on welfare cant support their child, i do perfectly. she has everything and more. i love her and give her everything. she has tons of food in the fridge, diapers, toys, her own tv, everything. AND im pregnant! and on welfare!!!! go ahead. judge me. it wont make you any richer. just more of a rude, horrible person.