were are the days that we could afford, woman to stay @ home and take care of the babies

Ashley - posted on 02/25/2010

personally i LOVE being a working mother. i hated staying at home...after the year with my first i was ready to go back. with our 2nd my bf took parternity leave and i went back. i totally agree with you krista...........if one of us worked then we'd be living in a 2 bdrm apartment for the rest of our live. do i want that? god no. we couldnt afford for me to stay home and i dont want to. once my bfs paternity is up the boys will be in daycare and i think it'l be great for them to interact with other kids. they will love daycare and i will love working...staying at home isnt for everyone. it's not about the stuff i can buy...its about being able to buy food and not have to worry that if i spend 100 on food i wont have any money left over for diapers. i was going snaky being at home ......the boys are happy and so are we....thats just the way we live our life!

Heather - posted on 02/25/2010

@Sharon I have to say that was one of the best responses to this type of question I have ever heard. Thanks for that!

Krista - posted on 02/25/2010

I think it comes down to do you really want to be at home, or do you still want to live the high life.

In some cases, yes. In some cases, no. My husband and I both make very modest incomes. If we were to rely solely on his income (or solely on my income), we'd have enough money to pay the mortgage, the phone bill and the power bill. That's it.

And last time I checked, kids require food.

We don't live the high life -- yes, we have cable and internet, but cancelling those would save us $100 a month. That's not enough savings for me (or him) to not work. Our cars are older (and paid off), we buy our clothes on clearance or second-hand, and my idea of treating myself is to buy myself a $5 tube of mascara.

With the two incomes, we get by with no problems, and a tiny bit left over for fun. But with just one income, there's just no way. It has nothing to do with "the high life" or luxuries. And Sharon, not everybody can afford to stay at home, no matter how fiscally responsible they are. I'm surprised that you'd make such a blanket statement.

I wish that people wouldn't automatically assume that when both parents work, it's because they want SUVs and designer clothes. Sometimes, when both parents work, it's because that's the only way to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table.

LauraBeth - posted on 02/25/2010

I agree with Sharon!!! I have been a SAHM for a year and half now! it is wonderful I would not want to change one thing about it, I am very lucky that my husband has a wonderful job. but we looked at the bigger picture, if I worked someone else would raise our children for 40 + hr a week, Uncle Sam would put us in a higher tax bracket, then basicly I would just be working to pay someone to watch my children, it didnt make any sense to me to do that. I LOVE watching all of my childrens "1st".

I do think that women that work outside the home are exspecially strong because I would never be able to do so! I would wonder what they are doing at all times (probley get fired for worring about my kids LOL)

Teresa - posted on 02/25/2010

I was a housewife before I was a stay-at-home mom. I feel it is extremely important for one parent to be home w/ the children. Apparently my ex decided he no longer agreed w/ that concept since he bailed on me (while I was 7 months pregnant) for a woman w/ a 'real' job. He also refused (and still refuses) to pay child support, but tries to make me look like a bad person for being on welfare at the moment... while I'm still just trying to do the most important job in the world. I'm working on a way to continue to stay home, but greatly fear that my time will be cut short. :(

Sheree - posted on 02/25/2010

That's exactly right Sharon, I think it comes down to do you really want to be at home, or do you still want to live the high life.

Sharon - posted on 02/25/2010

Learn how to cut back and do without.

Do you need the expanded cable/satellite package?

Do you need the wireless connection on your cellphone?

Does the monthly extended warranty charge on your cell bill need to be there?

Do the kids HAVE to wear all designer clothes? Can't store brands suffice with designer brands bought at a discount to fill the gaps?

I cut every corner I can. I squeeze every penny until it squeaks. We got rid of our new cars and bought used cars. Repairs were cheaper than monthly payments and insurance went down. Since I wasn't working - if one broke down, it was ok, the other vehicle could fill in.

We almost never buy new video games or dvds. Those are purchased used at a huge savings.

You can afford to stay home. You just have to make it work.

Patricia - posted on 02/25/2010

I think it depends on where you live, what your husband does for a living, and what kind of lifestyle you expect. I stayed home for 7 years when the boys were younger. We lived on a shoestring, but in a town in South Texas where many families boasted SAHM's. We were able to garden year-round, and that helped with food costs. I now work nights, and though I don't make nearly as much as my husband, my schedule is less intrusive on the children and the money I make helps us to live more comfortably.
I think that all mothers fell that ache, no matter if they feel guilty for not being home with their children, or whether they wish they could help with the finances and gain a small piece of independance. I think we will always be torn. You know what's in your heart though, and there could be a solution if you look around. I was a full-time cook, and one of my boys came crying (literally) asking me why I had to spend so much time away from them. So that was it. I quit that job and went to nights, part-time (30 hrs. a week). You just have to find your own happy medium.

Sapphire - posted on 02/25/2010

I have the utmost respect for SAHMs, but it's just not for me. I love teaching, even in this horrible economy. My son get plenty of Mommy/Daddy time and we get to keep a roof over our head by working.

Loziba - posted on 02/25/2010

There is no better teacher than a mother, hence the recommendation that we should at least see our children up to 5 years, at least they would have all the values instilled in them. Times are tough and people need to work, We need to weigh the cost of having good living with ill-disciplined children. its a tough choice mothers have to make

Jodi - posted on 02/25/2010

Where in SA do you live that you have to spend 2 1/2 hours in traffic every day?? Adelaide is the biggest city in SA, and I can't EVER imagine spending that much time in traffic in Adelaide. I have lived in the outskirts of Melbourne and not spent that much time in traffic travelling to a job just on the outskirts of the inner city.

Lisamarie - posted on 02/25/2010

I totally agree with you! I am a stay at home mummy in England and it's hard getting by on one persons income! To be honest, I think it's feminists, I am only 21, but have old fashioned ideas about marriage and family, where the mum stay home with the children and the daddies earned the money. But with more women wanting to go back to work and having equal rights, this is one of the downsides. Also, the reccession is making it impossible for even one parent to work! I am currently looking into a home learning course where I can start working from home! :)

Sheree - posted on 02/25/2010

I am a stay at home mum and very proud to be. My husband works hard so I can be the one bringing up our daughter. I think its great, its at times a very hard job but also very rewarding. I wouldnt swap it for the world :)