What about kids who sleep with parents?

Jessica - posted on 12/14/2008

My 9 month old has been sleeping with me since day 1 on the hospital bed! My husband and I love snuggling her, it feels right. She sleeps 12 hours at night and is very close to nurse throughout the night!

Jan - posted on 12/13/2008

I co slept with all my kids 16, 13, 11 when they were babies and now still sleep with my 2 year old, i nearly lost him at birth, he was on life support for 3 weeks and when i brought him home i was to afraid not to sleep with him, i also slept with the light on for the first year he was home, fear is very powerful, anyway we still sleep together and hubby now has his own room, i actually like the arrangement and so does he, we meet up whenever I feel like it.

User - posted on 12/13/2008

it doesnt interfer with alone time with the hubby there are more than one room in the house...and more thn one bed actualy...step outside the box.....

Stace - posted on 12/13/2008

Hi Andrea, I was single and lived at home with my old fashioned mother with my first child, so she forbid me to sleep with my child. However, she did purchase me a small crib which stood on a stand that came to exactly the height of my bed. I have now used this crib for all my three children. It was the best thing. You can have your child close to you all night without the fear of suffocating or squashing him etc. If worse comes to worse, I know this may sound silly, but put the tshirt you wore for day (as long as it doesnt stink he he) in the crib so baby can smell you are still close to them and if you wrap baby tightly baby will almost feel like they are snuggled in your arms in stead of a blanket.

Chantel - posted on 12/13/2008

I moved my daughter into her own room when she was 3 months old and she sleeps better and so do I. I don't worry about my fiance rolling on her (he's a very heavy sleeper) and I wanted to establish that she has her own space to sleep because I don't want her to be 8 years old and unable to sleep in her own room. I'm personally not a big fan of co sleeping because where does it stop? A couple needs time for themselves. But to each her/his own, right? What works for some people and their kids doesn't work for others.

Kristi - posted on 12/13/2008

We co-sleep and think that it is one of the best decisions we have made as parents. Our son is very close too us and very affectionate. He is very social, independent and thriving developmentally, but seems to enjoy the extra cuddles at night, as do I! My husband and I have found other ways to be intimate with each other and it is actually more fun! I believe that you should be able to find alone time with your hubby even if your baby sleeps with you, or maybe you're just using the co-sleeping as an excuse? Babies are supposed to be cuddled and nurtured... I'm not really sure how this whole sleeping in cribs in separate rooms came about, but it doesn't seem natural to me. What did they do before cribs?

Julie - posted on 12/13/2008

my husband and are not intimate at night. he is not a night person. we have us time when the kids are gone to the grandparents or somewhere else. we had a housefire, and if my kids had been in their room they would have had smoke inhalation. but because we were already together and able to act quickly at 430am. the dr said you couldnt even tell our son had been in a housefull of smoke. cosleeping is the only way we all sleep. my son doesnt like falling asleep by himself, hes a snuggle bug. and i am up all night checking on them when they sleep in their own rooms. so we will cosleep until they decide to sleep in their own beds.

Faith - posted on 12/13/2008

corrie, I would say as a social worker you are likely to extreme cases. I think that doesn't hold true for most people. In a healthy family co-sleeping is a beautiful supportive thing. Those of us that are married or partner likely co-sleep with our mates. It isn't much different for children, they enjoy cuddly love all night too. My kids have each slept with us until they moved out on their own volition. And it was well before college, lol, contrary to the scare tactics some people used with me.

Denise - posted on 12/12/2008

My kids have both slept in my bed. My son did from early on - he wouldn't sleep a wink without me. It became a matter of survival - if I wanted sleep - he slept with me. We finally gave him the "boot" at about 8 years of age. But the rule always was - he had to start in his own bed, then if he woke in the middle of the night (which is every night) he could come to our bed. He still comes to our room, but sleeps on a loveseat. Now our daughter, who is four has begun the nightly treck to our room. I love sleeping with them - they both love to cuddle during the day and at night.

Corrie - posted on 12/12/2008

I don't think it is a problem for infants, especially if you are breast feeding. But it seems like it would be quite a barrier to intimacy with your husband. Now that I have three children running around, sleeping is the only truly private time I can get with my husband. I think that it is a healthier boundary for children to be able to sleep in their own bed. You stated that one of the children is petrified to sleep alone, that seems like a red flag. I personally do not agree with children sleeping with their parents and professionally (I'm a social worker) I haven't seen good things come from it. However, I believe it is a very personal choice that many families make on their own and I don't doubt that there are plenty of healthy and well adjusted children who slept with their parents. I think you are doing the right thing by asking for different opinions. Ultimately, it's a very personal choice that you make with your spouse.

Kara - posted on 12/12/2008

What about alone time with your husband?

User - posted on 12/12/2008

my duaghter sleeps with us but my son want have it.he has to have his own bed in a quite room,and i loose my mind with worry.nothing wrong with it untill certian ages they do need to learn that independance,but my thinking is when they can save them selves or attempt to in a fire then ill work on it.right now they are only 1 and 2 so im thinking around 4 or 5.

Claudine - posted on 12/12/2008

I co-sleep part-time, we have one bedroom...she sleeps in her crib most of the time, but she still wakes to feed a couple of times a night so I bring her in bed to nurse and then put her back, although sometimes I am too tired to put her back. I think co-sleeping is good if you are safe about it, and your bed is big enough to fit all without rolling on top of each other, though I feel I would like her to sleep on her own eventually...I am enjoying my baby near me for now :)

Julie - posted on 12/12/2008

cosleeping has a long wonderful history. you can research it on the web. they make pillows for very small babies to safely cosleep. my kids five and seven cosleep with us.

Monica - posted on 12/12/2008

My son sleeps with us sometimes, he is 10 months old. I know it's not advised but a lot of people do it or have at some point did it. One of the main reasons they don't want babies in beds with people is bc when they are newborns & very small there is a risk of suffocating them. I don't feel like there is any danger when they are older bigger & more alert. I don't feel like it's something to overly stress over it if everyone is happy about the sleeping situation. However, I do think that it is probably a good idea to keep babies in their cribs to learn to sleep alone.