what are my supervised visitation rights?

User - posted on 04/27/2011 ( 12 moms have responded )

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I have a court ordered supervised visitation for my 10 year old
daughter, her dad disappeared for 8 years and just decided one day he wanted to be in her life, I of course went through the court. After a year of court I was award full custody , he got supervised visitation, with a social worker he chose an hour from my home. My daughter has met with him about 7 times for an hour each time, every 2-3 weeks. The social worker has made me out to be the bad guy, my daughter wanted to
have a visit out side the office and she suggested in front of her that I should let him pick her up, or bring her to see him my self, now I should mention me and her father broke up because he attacked me when she was born wile I was holding her, but I still let his parents take her for the weekend and he lived with them, until when she was 2 she was attacked by ther dog and they took her to the er and never called me utill a day later, when they brought her back to me she has stitches
in her face, by the next day she was lethargic and I took her to
hospital and she had an infection in her bady and was admitted for 1 week, after that I wouldn't let her go over there again and he just disappeared. Now the social worker left me a message saying his girlfriends son has a birthday that falls on his next visit ad that he would like to have her come, the party's in another state, I have no intention on bringing her of course, also she suggested his parents pick her up and and take her there and bring her back, but nonce again
i will be the bad guys because what kid doesn't want to got to a party, also she suggested that I consider letting him see her at 7 pm on Friday without her present, is ths normal for a social worker to do, should I tell her off. And am I only obligated to let her see him see him with supervise visits, will it make me look bad if I doint let him take her if we go back to court? Has anyone else been in the situation?

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Jennifer - posted on 04/27/2011

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Since you said he chose this social worker, then is there any possibility that he knows her personally? If so, then you definately do need to go back to court, to get a different social worker for visitation. Obviously the judge saw a reason for him to have supervised visits, which in my area is tough to get. You definately need to get a lawyer.

Theresa - posted on 04/27/2011

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If the court has said supervised visits then that's exactly what they should be . Supervised, ONLY. This social worker is behaving horribly to suggest that you let visits be unsupervised. until the judge changes things they should remain supervised. I would contact the judge and/or your lawyer about the social workers behavior. I do foster care and deal with social workers all the time. All the ones I've worked with would be appalled by this ones behavior.

Constance - posted on 04/27/2011

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I would petition the court to intervne with this social worker. The judge gave him supervised visitation for a reason. He took off before and there isn't anything saying he won't do it again maybe with your daughter this time. But social workers are suppost to follow the court order and she can't try to change it. I would not be comfortable at all if I knew the person who was hired to do this job is questioning the court order. If she believes he should be able to have her alone there is nothing saying she won't let him go somewhere with her as long as he is back before you.

[deleted account]

I'd go w/ exactly what the court order states. No more and no less. IF you feel that more/different visitation would be ok... then talk to your ex about modifying the court orders. As her parents you can do that (under most circumstances) and the judge will sign off on it.

I would not do ANYTHING that was not in the court order. It won't make you look bad to follow the rules and it will protect you and her in the event that something goes wrong.

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Vegemite - posted on 12/19/2011

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yeah go above the sosial worker to their superiors. This social worker is not up holding the law. The law, in your case, says supervised visitation and she is advising otherwise. I would not find this acceptable.

Kayln - posted on 12/13/2011

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Talk to the social worker's supervisor!! Explain exactly what is going on and you do not have to do anything the court order does not state!! If your daughter is uncomfortable she can go and talk to the Judge if it comes back to court! Get everything documented!

JuLeah - posted on 07/17/2011

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Supervised visits means he is never ever alone with her. He is supervised by a person who has passed the background check and met with the approval of the dept. Your ex doesn't get to pick the social worker.

A social worker would never ever suggest he pick her up if the visits are to be supervised.

Something here is not adding up .... look into the legal aspect of what you are being told

Alisa - posted on 07/17/2011

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by the way....i HAVE been in a situation of having court ordered supervised visitations. follow the court order exactly - you don't have the authority to usurp the court order either. and you don't have to make excuses or explain yourself to anyone when you follow it.

Alisa - posted on 07/17/2011

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i would report her to her supervisor immediately. she does not have the authority to usurp a court order. you are to protect your daughter. that's your job #1. and she will not be going on any visits with her dad that do not follow the instructions in the court order. you are the mom and sometimes being the bad guy is a part of the job. now go do your job and do it well. explain to your daughter that you have to follow the rules and the rules do not allow for out of state visits or visits without the case worker. she is old enough to understand that you have to follow the rules and none of that explanation disparages her father. and it is, in fact, the truth. and don't forget - your daughter is counting on you to protect her.

[deleted account]

Jennifer brings up a good point. If the judge saw fit to give your ex supervised visits.... I'm wondering why HE got to choose the social worker. I'm surprised the court didn't just appoint one. I think I'd be going back to court to get a more neutral social worker involved here.

Jenni - posted on 04/27/2011

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You're damn skippy I would be concerned and not want to allow my child to be unsupervised with a father who not only attacked me but had no regard for the our newborn child in my arms.
You have every right to want to protect your child. I don't think you're being unreasonable whatsoever. If your only interest is the safety of your daughter then you are definitely not the 'bad guy'.

Don't let them bully you... including his social worker. I wouldn't bother to tell her off though. I don't think that will accomplish anything aside from feed into her opinion of you. Just keep making decisions in the best interest of your daughter and don't feel guilty for wanting to protect her.
I'm not sure about stipulations on supervised visits. I imagine if the court ordered supervised visitation it means just that. He should not be allowed unsupervised with her. Sorry, wish I could answer more of the legalities of your question but I haven't been in your situation.

Louise - posted on 04/27/2011

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I have not been in this situation but I do know the social worker is out of order here. If you feel that your ex is not fit to look after your daughter then stick rigidly to the court order. If you feel that your daughter is old enough to decide for herself if she feels safe with her dad then maybe ask her what she wants to do. If he has not hurt her in the past he is not going to start all of a sudden. If your daughter feels safe and loved by this man then she is going to start to resent the fact that she can not see more of her dad without this woman being there again and she could rebel against you. This is something to think of for the future. I really do understand that you have issues with the whole side of the family as they have let you down badly in the past.

I think you have to search your heart for the answer to this and ask your daughter how she feels about things to. Children are a good judge of character. She is not a helpless baby anymore she is growing up fast. Sit down and have a chat with her about how you feel and what would she like to happen, between the two of you you can come up with a compromise. This way your daughter feels like she has some control on her life and you are not the wicked witch stopping her from seeing her father.

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