What are peoples thoughts about Teenage Parents??

Stacy - posted on 10/14/2009

myself and most of my friends were teenage moms, and it was a up hill battle. I love all my kids and wouldn't trade them for the world, but I do wish I would've waited. Most relationships that start that young, and get put into parent hood by surprise don't last. If yours is still going strong, ggood for you. I would not want my daughter, or my boys to get theirgirl friends pregnant as a teenager. At the same time, if it did happen, I would suport my children. We would work threw it. I hope all goes well for you and your young family. Your love for that baby is all that matters, not what anyone else says. All those moms that give teenage moms crap have never been in our shoes.

Chris - posted on 10/14/2009

It seems to be the agreed opinion of most people that age has little to do with whether you are a good Mum or not. I AGREE!!! I have a close relative that was a teenage Mum and she was fantastic....eventually having four children in all. The secret to being a good Mum is to put your children at the top of your list. It is not to say that you ignore who you are and what your needs are.....but they are a priority. They need your devoted attention, support and love...always ...... even when grown. As long as you are willing to put your life on hold for a short bit you will do just fine. I have seen some young Mums first hand who are too focused on themselves and what they think they have missed out on. If you choose to be a Mum you have to accept all that goes with it. And the dependent stage doesn't last forever. They do grow up....and once at school you can start to focus more back on yourself. Whether that be to continue working or resuming studies etc.

Sarah - posted on 10/14/2009

This post is rediculous -- it is asking for opinions of teenage mothers, but then when someone says something negative the teenage mothers are getting all up in arms. Here is an idea...who cares! If you are a teenager and a mother than just be a good mom and stop giving a crap what others think of you. It is a sign of immaturity to care so much what others think...hence the conundrum of teenage mothers showing that they aren't ready to have children. If you are a good mother, you should know you are without having to be validated by others. Do the best for yourself and your children and that should be enough for you.



You get dirty looks or comments? Who cares. People judge others everyday for everything, it is human nature. Smile at these people and continue on with your business.

Cedar - posted on 10/14/2009

Parents are parents. If you love your child then thats all that counts. Its a bit harder when your younger I would guess but I had my daughter when I was in my 30s so I wouldnt know. I think support from family or friends is all that really matters. With the support and love of family and friends you really dont need much more than the basics.

Dawn - posted on 10/14/2009

I became a first-time mom at 19. Most of the people that I saw were posting about being parents at 17, 18, 19. When I hear people talking about teeneage moms, I think 17 and younger. My daughter is 13 and in 8th grade and a girl in her class (her age) is pregnant. I think it is horrible. This girl, this child has no means of supporting her child (she doesnt come from the most loving, responsible household) so we as a society will be caring for her child. I am not saying that I never received some help but I have always held a job, I even proceeded to get my higher education. But young teenage moms do not have the opportunity to support their children. I think that is what some people have issues with teenage moms.

Pamela - posted on 10/14/2009

i think the biggest problems teenage parents is being able to financially support your child. Its all very well looking after the baby but you have to care of financial responsibilities and im not talking nappies and milk housing, bills, food and the future e.g. university.. i was 19 when i had my daughter, my husband and i have to work so hard to provide for our kids and i wouldnt have it any other way. its very difficult if you dont have a good support system like parents to help out.

Tasha - posted on 10/14/2009

First of all everyone is different, some teens aren't ready to take care of themselves let alone taking on a baby, but some are more ready I guess I should say, I was 19 when I found out I was going to have a baby, I was 20 when I had her and I have no regrets either, yes! I was young but you know I can't imagine my life without her in it. I take care of her, I am mommy no matter what, I wouldn't trade it for anything in this whole world! Its tough and I feel as though some don't realize just how much work it takes being a mom until it comes and then they are like oh my but its the greatest job I have ever had, even though there are times when I am tired, sick it doesn't matter though there is a little person that needs you always! I feel as though there are different opinions about this but this is just how I feel, some are ready, some are not

Shaina - posted on 10/14/2009

if a girl is irresponsilbe and not able to raise a child that is what adoption is for... i think everyone is capeable of raising a child, and until you have experienced being a teenage mom u cannot judge a girl who is.

Sharon - posted on 10/14/2009

As a mother - why am I expected to raise my daughters' children?



Where is the sense in that?



Support for her, sure, "yes hunny you can do it. You had sex, you want to have a baby, work hard, get 2 or 3 jobs and you can provide for your kids."



Its not up to me to raise her kids.



Who is the proper adult? If she can't raise her kids, she shouldn't be squirting them out.

Brandi - posted on 10/14/2009

Hello,

I was a teenage mom at 15- 16 when I had him....it was tough but my now husband father of both of my children stuck by me the whole time.

It's hard and i don't recommend it in today's economy but if it happens it happens....To me alot of the parents get out of hand with their children when they do come home pregnant instead of acting like a mother and an adult and help taking care of all of them......

Shaina - posted on 10/14/2009

I think being a teenage mom is perfectly fine, as long as that mother understands her responsibility. I myself am a teenage mom. I had my son when i was 17 and I would never be prouder of him. There are many people that do not agree with this, but it happened to me and i took responsibility for my son and my actions. I was in high school and so many people around me were so proud for what i was doing. I walked across the stage at grad 2 days before my son was born.
Someone can be a perfect mom when they are older, but also when they are a teen too.
I highly respect all the girls that have gone through with being a mother in their teens

Jackie - posted on 10/14/2009

Wow! If you cant handle the conversation then you really shouldn't be in it. Some people are really taking it the wrong way and being disrespectful. Everyone has different stories and situations it dosn't give you the right to be so rude.

Sharon - posted on 10/14/2009

good god - They aren't going to stop until the world is singing the praises of teenage idiots who didn't know how to use birth control.

I know for a fact I'm not letting my son out of my sight - he can't even wrap bread up properly. Maybe that should be the gauge of maturity.

As for not knowing the disdain teen moms face... I know about it. I was VERY young looking and frequently got the "bet you wish you had a husband now" thing. I had people offer to buy my baby. I had kind of forgotten about this stuff because I found it all to be very funny.

After my son was born - he took after my dad and his father - blonde haired & blue eyed with fair skin - nothing like asian me. People assumed I was the nanny or even better the "new" younger minority wife.

So please do me a favor and just stfu. This life is not all about you and your selfish ways. A strong sign of your immaturity is the fact you can't let go of this. A strong sign of your immaturity is the fact that this matters so much to you.

Stop sniveling and go be a parent.

Stop bringing up the fact that you're a teen mom in every conversation as if its an excuse or reason. HERE on the internet - most of us would never know any better except you feel the need to be proud of the fact you're too stupid to know how to use birth control and have to tell us in EVERY post how you're a only a teen mom but this is what you know.

And the little girl who says all the news reports of dead children are from older women - yeah - most of them started out as teen moms, and the rest are teen moms trying to hide a baby and they kill it.

Maggie - posted on 10/14/2009

The only bad thing I could see about being a teenage parent, aside from if you just abandon the baby to whoever will take care of it, is that it's harder to get other things done. For example, it's harder to go to college with a baby. You won't get to hang out with friends and get the bonding that most kids get in high school and college. It will be harder to find time to study and do homework. Of course that's true at any age. My husband has returned to school at 35 and we have two boys. We both work full time. It's HARD but luckily we have support.

I think overall if you are stepping up and taking care of the child, not just when it's convenient for you and you have a good support system then it doesn't matter what anyone else says, thinks or does. I think people say the same types of things about women who wait until their 40's to have kids - yes, their lives are more established but by the time their child graduates they will be almost 70!

I would not want my sons to have children when they are that young (for the reasons I stated) but if they did I would support them.

(by the way, I'm not a teenage mother - and I think the opposite of what you're saying is also true. Teen or younger mothers look at an older mother and think they will automatically not like them or judge them. Get real! I know mothers of every age and most of them are great. I think most of the stigma comes from shows like Jerry Springer and Maury and such. The teen mothers on those shows have no idea who the father is. That's kind of disgusting at ANY age but it's more publicized with teens)

Jodi - posted on 10/14/2009

Oh, will you teenage mothers just get over yourselves!! The only people around here doing the discriminating are you!!! You ask the question, you get the answer. What do you want? Validation? I'll be blatantly honest. If my 17 year old step daughter got pregnant, I would not be impressed. Are you trying to argue that I should be? Tell me in another 15 years, when your child is a teenager, that you would wish that for them, or whether you would hope they could wait a bit. I know you may argue that now, but you may argue differently once you are the PARENT of a teenager.



No-one is saying you are bad mothers. Just that while you THINK you are grown up, you still have a LOT of growing up to do, and even (maybe, given some of the posts) some additional education would come in handy if you haven't yet completed high school.



I have absolutely NOTHING against teen mothers if you are a GOOD mother to your child, and if you are able to financially support yourself and your child.

Jilleena - posted on 10/14/2009

mot of the supid people whare on heews that have killd the kid are NOT teen moms so thinking they have way more issues then us teen moms

Mauri - posted on 10/14/2009

I agree with Jordan.. I got pregnant when I just turned 19 and my 2 month old lil girl is the best thing that happened to me. me and her daddy got married in March 2009 and I had her in August 2009.. It all depends on the person

Rhiannon - posted on 10/14/2009

Do you notice that the people that are saying the nasty comments are not teenage mothers...

Jodi - posted on 10/14/2009

Megan, No-one is criticising you for posting the question. Don't take it so personally. Just understand it was about the 3rd question within 24-48 hours of the same type and has been hotly debated. This is not a usual occurence, and there are a few people who were just wondering why.



Here are a few links for you that may help your research:



http://apps.facebook.com/circleofmoms/th...



http://apps.facebook.com/circleofmoms/th...



http://apps.facebook.com/circleofmoms/th...

Shelly - posted on 10/14/2009

I was a mum at 18 and had my 2nd child at 19. I had all sorts of things said 2 me bout how terrible it was. My sister waited til she was in her mid 20's and has found motherhood alot harder. It has nothing to do with age, it's all 2 do with how much u love your children. I am now 27 and I have no regrets about being a teen mum either as I am still young enough 2 relate 2 my children and I have learnt so much by having them! x x

Jeannie - posted on 10/14/2009

if you love your child more than yourself, you will be a great mom.

Megan - posted on 10/14/2009

Quoting Jodi:

Megan, Sharon's comment was in relation to the fact that in the last couple of days, there have been several threads on this exact same issue, and there is some wondering why, all of a sudden, you are all starting new threads on teenage mums. You are not being singled out for your opinion. Other people are just getting over you all trying to tell us how wonderful you are because you are teenage mums. No-one really cares whether you are a teenage mum or otherwise, as long as you are being a good mum!!! I'll admit, I ALMOST posted earlier about this thread, and left it alone, and my comment was going to be, will you guys just give it a rest!! No-one really cares as much as you think they do.

I dont think you realize just how many bad comments and dirty looks teen mums get thrown at them. Its unbelievable!! You might not care about teen mothers but other people do and voice their opinion!!!

Hey I didnt realize that other people have posted the same kind of thing I havnt come across it and if I did I wouldnt have needed to ask the same question already answered.

I feel myself that I have to prove to everyone that I am a good mum because of all the judgments made and thats my opinion.

Take a walk in our shoes and you may realize that hey some young mums not all some get alot of crap. Its not fair,

I was going to say sorry for posting the question but Im not!!! I got to hear some stories that have really helped.

I am sorry that some people are judgmental and that suddenly  we are criticized for posting a question that doesn't need to be looked at or commented.

If you weren't going to comment then why do so. You didn't answer my question but just told me to get over it. 

Im not dwelling on the fact that I get dirty looks in the street. Im proud of my decision to keep my baby I just wanted to know why people thought the way that they do. I speak to other young mums, future young mums and talk to people getting degrees in social work and I wanted to tell them about what people had commented, their thoughts.

Jodi - posted on 10/14/2009

Megan, Sharon's comment was in relation to the fact that in the last couple of days, there have been several threads on this exact same issue, and there is some wondering why, all of a sudden, you are all starting new threads on teenage mums. You are not being singled out for your opinion. Other people are just getting over you all trying to tell us how wonderful you are because you are teenage mums. No-one really cares whether you are a teenage mum or otherwise, as long as you are being a good mum!!! I'll admit, I ALMOST posted earlier about this thread, and left it alone, and my comment was going to be, will you guys just give it a rest!! No-one really cares as much as you think they do.

Megan - posted on 10/14/2009

Quoting Sharon:

In light of the 3 other posts regarding this EXACT same subject - I think this is a shit digging expedition.

You want to hear the negative things - why? I'm not sure.;

Anyone with a brain in their head knows why its generally considered wrong for teens to have babies.

My opinion about teen moms is well documented in at least two or 3 other messages worded almost exactly like this one.

Why do you think its a shit digging expedition when all I wanted to know was the thoughts of others about Teen Parenting?? Whether it was good or bad, I want insight!! I want insight into why people look at me and judge me and my son when we are out shopping. Why is it so bad for a teen to have a child if they step up to the plate and look after the life they have created.

How do you call that a shit digging expedition??

Anyone with a brain in my eyes would be open minded. Its wrong for you not to step up to the plate but thats for all mothers and fathers not just teens!!!

I dont think it is necessary to take a stab at someone for just telling there opinion (Where you dropped on your head) really thats just juvenile!!

You are entitled to your opinion but I dont want people to be singled out here.

I think you obviously have a problem with teen mums, whats your reasoning?? 

Deana - posted on 10/13/2009

I think it depends on the teen. my oldest step daughter was a teen mom and she just wasn't ready then. and she lost her childern to the state. I also believe that it doesn't matter how old you are,,some people just shouldn't have childern.

Brandy - posted on 10/13/2009

I think that it's really a matter of maturity not age, but that the large number of teen parents who are irresponsible ruins it for the ones that are actually dedicated to their child. Since there are so many who don't take parenting seriously enough, people don't think to give people a chance and just judge them for what the majority of the teenage parent population has done. They also don't take the time to understand that alot of teen parents just need advice because they haven't had alot of time around babies or alot of experience. Instead of judging the ones who do need help and talking bad about them for doing wrong, people should try to let them know what they are doing wrong because most of the time they just don't know any better.

Rachel - posted on 10/13/2009

The title teen mom/dad simply comes from being a teen and having a child. Lets face it, most teenage relationships do not work out either. Sometimes one parent may walk away, other time both do, and that is not fair to the child. If you step up to the plate and take care of your responsibilities that is great. However, too often teen parents do not want to step up to the plate. It is a maturity factor and the ability to provide for all the needs of the child. As a teen that is the time to just hang out with your friends and still enjoy not having responsibility, because that comes soon enough. A fourteen year old cannot fully provide for a child. Yes, many families (not all) help out, but when you decide to take the risk of becoming pregnant, you need to be sure that you are ready to take care of what happens.

Barbara - posted on 10/13/2009

IM SURE SOME TEENAGERS ARE GREAT PARENTS BUT 2 OF MY TEENAGERS HAD BABIES AND I AM RAISING MY GRANDSON BECAUSE EVERYTHING ELSE WAS MORE IMPORTANT TO HER I TRIED TO MAKE HER A MOTHER BUT UNLESS U WANT TO BE A MOTHER IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN ALL SHE DID WAS MESS HIM UP

Sharon - posted on 10/13/2009

lmfao were you dropped on your head as a baby?



We're mad because we can't hold & play with your babies??

BAWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA.... oh man I think I felt my sphincter unclench... dear god the lunacy.....

Dolly - posted on 10/13/2009

teen mom don't worry about what every one says becuz if you do u well feel a bad that you had a baby young well im was 17teen when i got pregenat with my son now im 21 and got 3 and one on the way i could care less what people say if they don't have any thing better to do then talk about what teen are doing then look at it like this at less there not talking about you be hind ur back and you must know they are talking about everyone else thier just mad cuz they can't play with the baby and hold it and love it every day like we can so don't be mad over stupid shit like that as long as your baby is happy healthy being taken care of and is loved it what they say r doesn't really matter but all i can say is just take care all ur baby and let them know how much you love them everyday becuz you never know when it's your last time to tell them that

Sharon - posted on 10/13/2009

In light of the 3 other posts regarding this EXACT same subject - I think this is a shit digging expedition.



You want to hear the negative things - why? I'm not sure.;



Anyone with a brain in their head knows why its generally considered wrong for teens to have babies.



My opinion about teen moms is well documented in at least two or 3 other messages worded almost exactly like this one.

Jackie - posted on 10/13/2009

I had my first son at 19 and it's not easy. Me and my son's dad are still together it has been 4 1/2 yrs and have 2 boys now it's not easy but you can make it work! And I dont think it prevents you from getting anything accomplished in life you just have to be determined.

Aniesha - posted on 10/12/2009

I don't have anything against teenage parents at all. And 18 is not really THAT young, after all, if you're considered an adult at 18, why can't you have a child? The only thing that I think is that I feel sorry for teenage parents, as I think it must be much harder than if you had your child at an older age. I had my bub at 23, & even though I know I could have done it a younger age, I've really glad that I didn't have to, coz I know that I personally would have found it more difficult.
But I don't think that you can't be a good parent if you're young. There are a lot of pretty crummy older parents out there, so in the end it comes down to you as a person, & if you love your child, then that's all that matters.

Melanie - posted on 10/12/2009

I have to admit I admire all the young mums on here who finished high school and got degrees. I got my bachelor straight after highschool, got married in my last year of university (at 21) and had my daughter at 24. She is now 7, and last year I went back to uni and completed a Graduate Diploma and I have to say it was extremely hard. Trying to juggle giving her the attention she desired and doing my course work was very difficult and often resulted in tears - both her and me. So well done, to all the mum's out there who are or about to undertake studying.



But to get back to the question. Parenting and motherhood is hard. Sometimes people feel they are ready for a child at eighteen others at 48. Sometimes the moment just takes you and well a couple of weeks later surprise! your pregnant. This happens to couples at all ages. We shouldn't judge people's parenting skills on their age alone. If any mother is having trouble coping we should offer aid - even a cup of tea and an opportunity to vent. It takes a community to raise a child not an individual, for example in my daughters life there are friends, family, her school, daycare when she went, all contributing in some way to her upbringing - even though her father and I are her primary carers.



If in about 10 years my daughter came home and told me she was pregnant, how would I feel? I might feel a little disappointed that it occurred and I would probably tell her that, but at the same time I would love and support her, whatever her decision. Although one thing would remain clear I am bubbys grandma not mother and baby is her responsibility.

Megan - posted on 10/12/2009

My son is 6 months old...He's my world!!! He was the surprise I never knew I wanted till he arrived. He has given me so much. I wouldnt be the person I am today without him!!!

Niki - posted on 10/12/2009

I was a teenage mom too.. For me it was a good thing. Got my priorities in order, and put my life on track because now there was someone more important than me, But some teenage mothers out there give the rest of us bad names. Like those who continue they're selfish and distructive ways while grandma watches the kids.... And on that note, I am not appreciative how t.v. lately almost seems to be promoting it! It is hard and some of these shows make it look so fun and seem to say to teens.. "have a baby" anyone else feeling this??

Jilleena - posted on 10/12/2009

i agree with lakyn being a young teen mom you get alot of dirty looks its horrible esspecially when you look youger then you actually am

Lakyn - posted on 10/12/2009

I am also a mother who gave birth at 18. I dont have any regrets of having my son either. Getting pregnant was an accident, but i wouldnt change it for the world now. Yah a lot of people look down on younger moms, especially when ur in a store or in public when your pregnant, i got a lot of dirty looks that made me actually feel dirty, in which im not. There isnt a thing in the world i like better than being a mom. How old is your baby?

Kathy - posted on 10/12/2009

Well, 18 is the age of majority and I've met some very mature 18-year-olds who have planned their lives and are quite self-sufficient. Eighteen-year-old females are more mature than males of the same age in most cases. I usually think of females at 18 as adults more than I do males from having to teach them all these years. When I think of teenage moms I think of those who are still children but get in over their heads in adult activities. Children just starting high school who, being children, are not thinking of the consequences of their actions. I had a 13-year-old who became a mom and I was SO for her considering adoption. So, unless an 18-year-old acts like a 13-year-old, I really don't put them in the same category. A 13-year-old is starting high school, coming fresh from middle school, depending on parents. An 18-year-old can be done with school and able to take care of herself and her child and husband. It's best, though, if considering college to wait though. If college is not your thing and you've thought through being a mom and a wife like an adult, then I have nothing against that.

Megan - posted on 10/12/2009

Candis what makes you say as long as its not your teenager...what would you do if that was the case??

Megan - posted on 10/12/2009

what makes them not ready do you think?? Mary Ann

Jilleena - posted on 10/12/2009

i totally disagree with mary ann.......in some cases she is right but some of my friends who did become moms while being a teen are some of the best mom that i know.....hell there better parents then my sister ever have been

Mary Ann - posted on 10/12/2009

truthfully , i feel teenage moms are not ready to be mothers at all. they want a baby for all the wrong reasons. although i know a few that are better mothers then some 24 year olds . but most teenage moms are not ready for all the things that go along witha baby

Elizabeth - posted on 10/12/2009

I had my 1st daughter at 18. I was so shocked and embarrassed when I first found out I was pregnant. I didn't tell any of my friends for like 6 months, until I was showing. I just felt so ashamed because of all the bad things people say about teenage parents. Now, I'm 27 and I have 3 biological girls, 8, 5, and 2. I love my kids more then anything and I think I am a pretty good mom. In a way, I wish I had waited to have them though, because being a teenage mom, you do miss out on some of the fun things. I wish I had finished college first, but I am going to go back and get my degree. Now its not only for me, but for my beautiful daughters. I don't want them growing up, thinking they can quit things, because they mommy did. On the plus side, though when my youngest is 18, i will only be 43 yrs old. Still young enough to have fun and travel. So, do I regret having my kids so young? No, it just really helped me grow and become the person I am today.

Candis - posted on 10/12/2009

Just as long as it is not my teenager I don't have a problem with it.

Jilleena - posted on 10/12/2009

i was 19 when i had my daughter and she is now 2 months old and im 20...i still am considerated a teen parent and still have the same schedule as any other teen mom i get up get myself and daughter ready take her to my moms house and then go to college....its really hard sooo not looking forward to starting to work again but it will have to happen sometime...i dont think they get enough credit

Melissa - posted on 10/12/2009

Quoting Megan:

I was up for any kind of insight on the topic.
I myself feel like I need answers from the people who have a problem with teenage parents and I feel relieved that the common theme is that age doesn't define how good of a parent you are. I completely agree with the comments about that.
I myself feel like I have to prove something to the world because I had a child when I was 18, I need to get a good job because some people say ive ruined my life and im not going to get anywhere. I need to do so much more then any other parent (in the mid 20s and up) so I can prove to them all wrong!!!
I know alot of other girls feel the same way.
I dont believe that teenages that are parents should be given that title (teenage mum/dad) all though that is a fact i dont think we should be labeled. Im a MUM and thats it!! And im being the best mum i can be!!

You go girl!  Just remember you don't have to prove anything to anyone but your little boy!  He is what matters most.  It sounds like you really love him and are a wonderful mother to him.  That is what counts!

Like I said earlier..people need to get off their soapbox.  If someone is gonna have a bad opinion about a teen mom or dad, then they better be prepared to help them with their situation and make it easier on the baby, whats done is done. 

Chloe - posted on 10/12/2009

Yeahh i agree with some of the other people, age doesn't define how good of a mother you are, there are good and bad mums all over the world i think its just more common to go out and see a young mum rather than a mum whos beating their child or something. Even if people saw someone beating there child they probably would just walk past and give a dirty look anyway they would be more likely to call the police.

Teen/young mum doesn't mean bad mum!

xx

Timbrel - posted on 10/12/2009

i am a teenage mom and we PLANNED to have our child. we put so much time and effort into everything we do for our daughter. she is loved more than anything and put as our top priority. she also has everything she needs and more and will never go without. i do not believe being a teenage parent decides how good of a parent you are...age is not a factor. it is how the parents care for and respond to the child...and etc. you dont need age to be a good parent...i helped raise my 7 brothers and sisters and ever since i practically raised them i fell in love with kids and had wanted my own even when i was young...but i waited til i was atleast 18 and was married and in a loving relationship and was financially stable.

Kylie - posted on 10/12/2009

i was a teenage parent i had my first child at 18 ,while its not something i would say to any teenager they should do i can say i dont regret it..i have four kids and i'm 28 all are to the same dad and we get married next year.I was one of the lucky ones though my partner was a dad 4 days after he turned 16 he had had a prttey rough life before that and he was determined that our child was not going to end up like that ..he got a job selling pens door to door and he hated it but he kept doing it untill he got a job as a cook then so on and so on and now he runs a house raising company with the owner. i am not going to say it has always been easy or an easy thing to cope with but i dont see it as i have LOST anything but only as i traded somethings for even better things..i am proud of my family and where we are now..