What are your thoughts/opinions on the woman in CA giving birth to octuplets?

Corinne - posted on 01/31/2009 ( 42 moms have responded )

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Personally, I think she did it for the money. She's in her 30's, is single, already has 6 young children and is residing with her parents in what looks to be a 3-4 bdrm house.

They're saying she doesn't want any media attention, which is somewhat understandable, but donations are being made to help those little babies out.

Should there be a limit to how many embryos a person can carry? Hmm...

Thoughts please!

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Jana - posted on 01/31/2009

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Quoting Jessica:

Oh god, will you women stop being so freakin' judgmental.
So what if she now has 14 children. She obviously loves EVERY single one of them. She will provide the best she can for them, and if she does a shithouse job at it, Child Services will deal with that.
It's not our place or ANYONE's at that to sit here and whinge and bitch about someone elses choices.



I don't feel the need to comment on the mother of 14 situation because I think the facts are coming out too slowly for any judgement and I don't think we will ever know the real story or reason.  I do however feel the need to comment on this comment...Child Protective Services is not a cure for bad parenting, they can't just "deal with it".  I think it is sad that some people just assume "Oh well, someone else will deal with it, not my problem"  It take CPS months if not years to fight to have a child removed from their home permenantly, and by that time the damage is already done. Not to mention that someone has to contact CPS before they can do anything. And who to you think pays for CPS...our tax dollars!  So if she did have 14 kids for money/donations/15 minutes of fame, she doesn't love every single child, she loves what every single child can EARN for her.  That is what I would have a problem with not the number of children.



You are correct that it is not our place to sit here and bitch about someone elses choices, to each their own.  However, if our choice in anyway would harm a child then it is our job as humans to step in and say that choice is not ok!

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Corinne - posted on 02/03/2009

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Quoting Becky:



 



I believe that we should issue a license to people that intend to reproduce. 






Yeah well that kinda goes in hand with what China has in effect where you can only have ONE child. I don't want that kind of ban on my decision to have a family just cause a few mentally ill people didn't get the proper help they needed...



 



 

Becky - posted on 02/01/2009

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I love kids and I would have a dozen if I could.  Although my family makes a very comfortable living, we simply could not afford to give our children everything they deserve if we made the choice to keep breeding.  I can't imagine that any sane person would put their child through the alleged neglect  the 14 will be quite possibly exposed to.  I really don't think that there is any way for this family to thrive in an environment with 14 children under the age of 7. 



I feel so bad for the children.  I pray that they will be given a chance to grow up like normal children running, dancing, laughing and learning.  I will end with my favorite statement:



 



I believe that we should issue a license to people that intend to reproduce.  You need a license to hunt, fish and drive a vehicle.  If we require a certain knowledge to obtain a license for these things, why can't we require parenting classes or some on the job training to obtain a license to reproduce??

Corinne - posted on 02/01/2009

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Not to start any drama or anything, but to the ones who think it's nobody's business:



 



We're not concerned about the mother. As far as I see her- she's slightly crazy. But it's the children who pay the ultimate price.



Ex: When someone is being physically abused by their spouse or whoever, it DOES become everyones business to STEP in and help. The same goes with any other types of abuse. And from my view, the 6 children prior, and the 8 now will be neglected. That family has no means to raise them properly. LOVE can only go so far.



I'm aware my comment will probably bring up other subjects regarding what constitutes as "neglect" and blah blah blah. There's lots of poverty stricken families, yes I know, and wished they'd all get the same kind of attention as this one family....but that's not the case here.



ANYWAYS, to stop from ranting on....that's my thought. haha :)

Beth - posted on 02/01/2009

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Quoting Tracy:

Is it any of our bussiness!?!?!? A women has the right to have children, and we don't know her personal life! We don't know how she lives or what she does...but we know that she LOVES them... who cares if her parents help her out, isn't everyone allowed a support system!?!? What gives you people the right?


 



Sure she can have a support system as long as the support system is not the tax payers.  Did you know that she filed for bankruptcy last year? You can't live on LOVE alone!

Whitney - posted on 02/01/2009

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Quoting Mushroom:

  she has,she isnt asking anyone of you to take over her role of being their mother or to feed clothes or home them!  Who are any of you to Judge her!!


 



Well, in fact, she is asking someone else to parent and pay for these children.  She's asking her family to help take care of them because there is absolutely no way she could, on her own, care for her original six children and eight newborns that were all preemies and will possibily have an array of medical problems.



And although the details have yet to be confirmed, she, as a student, most likely will be asking her family and the government to help pay for them.  That means any one who lives in California will be paying for them, and to a lesser extent the rest of the country if she's recieving Social Security Income.



 

Tressa - posted on 02/01/2009

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Quoting Jessica:



Quoting Jeannine:

If she was married it would maybe be okay but being a single mom she went too far






Just a quick news flash here- its not the 1900's anymore. You won't get stoned to death for being a single mother anymore. You need a huge dose of reality here. Welcome to 2009, there are single moms and dads all over the world. Why would it make it better if she was married? What if she was married, but to a guy who didn't have a job, or help with the kids? Would that make it so much better, just to have a piece of paper that says "this guy is my husband, but he is a deadbeat with no job'????







Not all husbands are deadbeats, so we could give the benefit of the doubt that, if she were married, she'd be married to a non-deadbeat, and it would definitely make it better to have an extra set of hands with 14 kids to raise.

Tressa - posted on 02/01/2009

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Quoting Casey:

..And isn't the doctor/clinic who agreed to implant 8 embryos also a little to blame!


Quoting Casey:
...She is putting all of her children (born and unborn) at great risk and disadvantage....


 



I agree with both of these statements.  It doesn't make sense that the doctor/clinic wouldn't be held somewhat responsible.  I don't know the details of the procedure, but it would seem just as logical to administer a psych test to a potential patient as to a potential adoptive or foster parent.



It's ridiculous for this woman to put her own health and wellbeing in such jeopardy, and then for a doctor to allow it, when there are six other children depending on her being there for them.  Humans are not dogs, we aren't built for delivering litters of babies, and she was putting her own life at serious risk.  I feel that she is an extremely irresponsible woman, and there is no good reason for her to have undergone the procedure under her circumstances.

[deleted account]

Posted by Jessica Fiveash (11:59 am)
Oh god, will you women stop being so freakin' judgmental.
So what if she now has 14 children. She obviously loves EVERY single one of them. She will provide the best she can for them, and if she does a shithouse job at it, Child Services will deal with that.
It's not our place or ANYONE's at that to sit here and whinge and bitch about someone elses choices.

I totally agree with you Jessica,who give a flying f*** how many children she has,she isnt asking anyone of you to take over her role of being their mother or to feed clothes or home them!
Who are any of you to Judge her!!

[deleted account]

Alright Mommies, calm down... The OP just wanted to know our thoughts and opinions. An informal poll, if you will. If one wants to say that the whole thing is insane and another wants to say it's awesome, that's fine. We shouldn't be attacking eachother. It's not about being judgemental. When we are specifically asked "What do you think?" we should be able to respond without criticism. Am I right?

Now, that being said, here's my opinion:

At first, my only thought was "Thank God all the babies lived." But after hearing what I heard today, the more and more I'm thinking "What the hell was that woman thinking?" I heard today that her other six children are all from a sperm donor. ONE sperm donor. And apparently, these octuplets are from that SAME donor! Can you imagine that?! Some guy out there has 14 children and doesn't even know it! The woman is a student and plans on finishing school (so that's good). The grandparents are helping already with the 6 and are planning on continuing the help now that there's 14. But the grandmother just recently filed bankruptcy, so I'm not sure how it's all going to work.

It's all just too crazy. If this mom is a student with 6 children, where is she getting all the money for the donated sperm and the in-vetro fertilization? I just don't get it.

When I first heard the story I thought it was a miracle, now the more and more I hear, the more and more I feel sick. I don't want to hear all the "life is a miracle no matter what" crap - because I know it is. But you can't tell me that there aren't people out there that exploit it for their own personal gains. If I'm being completely honest, I think that woman is a joke. I pray her kids have many successes and break out from the insanity that has been thrust upon them.

Kristin - posted on 01/31/2009

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Quoting Jessica:



Quoting Jeannine:

If she was married it would maybe be okay but being a single mom she went too far






Just a quick news flash here- its not the 1900's anymore. You won't get stoned to death for being a single mother anymore. You need a huge dose of reality here. Welcome to 2009, there are single moms and dads all over the world. Why would it make it better if she was married? What if she was married, but to a guy who didn't have a job, or help with the kids? Would that make it so much better, just to have a piece of paper that says "this guy is my husband, but he is a deadbeat with no job'????






 






 





Yes it may be 2009 but why on earth would you choose to have more children by yourself if you already have 6!!! They showed pictures of the house on tv and if the front yard looks the way it does I would hate to see the inside. Im sorry but this generation has it priorities mixed up..and Im sad that its like this. Its one thing to have children on your own but for a doctor to impant 8 embryos..its just not fair to the babies.

Nicole - posted on 01/31/2009

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Another opinion in the pot--if she wanted to have 14 children without medical assistance from doctors/fertility drugs, go for it, if you can love and support all those children.  Obviously she will need help and family support.  I need that support and emotional assistance from my family for my 4 children or I would be crazy by now!  I am one that did not intend to have 4 children, but I did so without any medical intervention and I feel blessed for every one of them.  From what I read, most doctors will not implant more than 2-3 embryos in case they all take; a multiple birth of two or three children is high risk--I know because I gave birth to twins twice.  There are medical guidelines about number of embryos to implant...however, guidelines were just that in this case, not rules or policies!  However, I cannot blame her for not choosing to abort some of the embryos.  Poor medical guidance in this situation!

Dawn - posted on 01/31/2009

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She should have given it more thought because of her circumstance with living with her parents.

Andrea - posted on 01/31/2009

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I agree that it's not any of our business. However, it is if she supporting them with student loans or welfare! That would mean we are supporting them. Who knows, maybe she didn't tell the dr.'s she already had 6!! I'm sure she loves her children very much but maybe someone should have suggested counseling before she had more! There are so many people here bitching about the end result what happened to her to want or feel she could only give love by giving birth? Psychological problems here.

Becky - posted on 01/31/2009

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Quoting Whitney:



According to the article I read, she declined selective abortion






Here's where I read it:






www.comcast.net/articles/news-health/200...





I went and read the story.  Very interesting.  I'll be honest, I heard about the woman who had octuplets, but didn't know all the circumstances until I joined this conversation.  Her six kids range from ages 2-7, and one of them is autistic.  She got paid to do this?  I just wonder how long the payments will go on.  Will whoever paid her continue to pay to support the children until they all graduate college?  This might sound stupid, but couldn't she have donated her embryos instead of destroying them or getting fertilized again?  Plus, I'm sorry, but it pisses me off knowing that the money that my husband works hard to make to support his wife and child will get taxed and that some of the money will go to support her kids.  That is where I get off having the opinion that I do.

[deleted account]

Absolutely insane. Even if she had money she would have to spend it on a nanny so SOMEONE would have some one on one with the kids. How about education. How is she going to pay for college? Hope that the government will pay for it? I agree that the doctor that helped her conceive at all is irresponsible if he knew she had any children. She many be addicted to having babies, but what about when they are older? She might not like them so much then. She won't even be able to afford to let them be in activities when they reach school age. Poor kids.

Jessica - posted on 01/31/2009

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Quoting Jeannine:

If she was married it would maybe be okay but being a single mom she went too far



Just a quick news flash here- its not the 1900's anymore. You won't get stoned to death for being a single mother anymore. You need a huge dose of reality here. Welcome to 2009, there are single moms and dads all over the world. Why would it make it better if she was married? What if she was married, but to a guy who didn't have a job, or help with the kids? Would that make it so much better, just to have a piece of paper that says "this guy is my husband, but he is a deadbeat with no job'????



 



 

Jessica - posted on 01/31/2009

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Quoting Jessica:

Oh god, will you women stop being so freakin' judgmental.
So what if she now has 14 children. She obviously loves EVERY single one of them. She will provide the best she can for them, and if she does a shithouse job at it, Child Services will deal with that.
It's not our place or ANYONE's at that to sit here and whinge and bitch about someone elses choices.






THANK YOU!!! i agree!

Maureen - posted on 01/31/2009

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The responses to this question are interesting. I thought I had heard the father is currently serving in US military ? The whole story brings up several issues including:

- what is the responsibility of the fertility clinic ? Why would they place 8 embryos ?

Most places have rules about the number of embryos being capped at 3. The uterus is just not designed for more ! Or, another procedure is selective abortion if too many of the embryos inplant. Why was this not done ?

- What about the cost ? This just doesn't seem to a family who can afford that kind of money for IVF ! Who paid ?

- It does seem irresponsible for the mother to want to conceive after already having 6 children to raise. The health risks are enormous for the children and for the new mother.

The risk of varying health issues for babies born under 2 lbs is too much. I have a friend who's daughter was born at 28 wks - 1 lb 10 oz. She was fortunate to only have had one brain bleed ( common with preemies ). But, her daughter is delayed physically, wears a leg brace, heavy glasses, hearing aid and needs ongong monitoring of her health.



I'd love to know more background info on this whole thing.

Whitney - posted on 01/31/2009

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I don't think the issue is whether she loves her children or not.  Having a lot of children doesn't mean you are neglectful or unloving.  Having a lot doesn't mean you're insane.   I agree with this woman's mother, however, and think there's something mentally wrong with her.  If you want to have 14 kids - fine!  You want to do it on your own - fine!  Good on ya.  But where's the common sense?  She's a student, and the article I read didn't mention her having a job.  She's living at her parents house, and her mother stated she just thought that the State of California and her student loans would pay for it all.  I'm sorry but if you can't afford that many kids, let alone care adequately for that many, you shouldn't be having that many - doesn't matter how much you love having children.  I love scrapbooking but you don't see me breaking my family's bank to have a fully stocked scrapbooking room full of all the paper, accessories and untensils my heart desires. I don't expect my husband to pay for something that excessive, or anyone else for that matter, least of all the government.



I feel her infertility doc who was performing the invitro should be called to account.  I didn't think that many fertilized eggs would be implanted at one time.  I had a friend who went through that and her doctor didn't implant more than 3 or 4 at a time because of the possibility of multiples, not only if all of them became viable but the chance one or more of them could split.

User - posted on 01/31/2009

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Is it any of our bussiness!?!?!? A women has the right to have children, and we don't know her personal life! We don't know how she lives or what she does...but we know that she LOVES them... who cares if her parents help her out, isn't everyone allowed a support system!?!? What gives you people the right?

Jeannine - posted on 01/31/2009

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If she was married it would maybe be okay but being a single mom she went too far

Andrea - posted on 01/31/2009

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I think it was media attention and money. Unless she has a lot of money, who can really afford it. I feel for her and her family because they will be ridiculed and chastized to no end. There may even be lawsuits filed against them because you know they will be watched under microscopes. I didn't realize that fertility doctors implanted 8 embryos at once. She chose not to to selective abortions and so she carried all 8. There are so many risks involved even with multiples. My twins were born at 26 weeks. Thank God their fine, gifted, happy & fun children. The risks involved with 8 are incredible. She and her family need prayers. If it wasn't meant to be, then it wouldn't have happened. There is a reason all those babies are here.

Cheryl - posted on 01/31/2009

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Quoting Jessica:

Oh god, will you women stop being so freakin' judgmental.
So what if she now has 14 children. She obviously loves EVERY single one of them. She will provide the best she can for them, and if she does a shithouse job at it, Child Services will deal with that.
It's not our place or ANYONE's at that to sit here and whinge and bitch about someone elses choices.


what about the choices for the children, or don't they count in the equation? Its always nice to think its going to be someone else's problem. Unfortunatly as a society it eventually becomes everyones problem.

Becky - posted on 01/31/2009

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Maybe she's trying to compete with the Duggars? I don't mean to judge anyone, but I do have a problem knowing that she can pop out a litter of babies and our tax dollars get to pay for it and support her children!

Cindy - posted on 01/31/2009

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It is ridiculous that the medical profession would allow such a travesty.  I find it irresponsible and appalling that anyone should have that many children.  Clearly it is self-serving and she has no regard for the environment or society or concern for her children's well-being.  

Lynne - posted on 01/31/2009

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 I heard she was taking fertility drugs, but bit strange if she already has 6 children, I thought they were given to women who were having problems conceiving? All very well if she's a millionaire!

Jessica - posted on 01/31/2009

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Oh god, will you women stop being so freakin' judgmental.

So what if she now has 14 children. She obviously loves EVERY single one of them. She will provide the best she can for them, and if she does a shithouse job at it, Child Services will deal with that.

It's not our place or ANYONE's at that to sit here and whinge and bitch about someone elses choices.

Nicole - posted on 01/31/2009

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Not only do I think it was irresponsible of her but of the doctors that allowed her to go through with this. They should have turned her away. Where are their ethics. I also believe that she alterior motives for this as well. "No media attention"... that didn't work out did it?

Sonya - posted on 01/31/2009

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I'm a married mom of six 1-2-3-5-8-12   and I still get those deep steers but there all my blessing and there well mannered, honor roll,children  so I'm gonna pray for her and hope that all goes well and I will not judge her, just pray for her.



Sonya

Jessica - posted on 01/31/2009

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I agree 14 is wayyyyy too many, however, I feel people should stop focusing on whether there is a father or not. Just because her and the kids are at her parents now, doesnt mean they will be there forever. Lets see if she can handle it first, before we assume she cant.

Beth - posted on 01/31/2009

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I also beleive that the issue is not whether she is married or not. The issue is 14 kids. That is just crazy, there are not many of us that could take care of 14 kids physically or financially. The newest articles indicate that she is addicted to having children, she should see a psychiatrist instead of a fertility specialist. And it is highly unethical for the doctor that performed the invitro on this patient.

Corinne - posted on 01/31/2009

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Quoting Jessica:

Just because there isnt a father doesnt mean she shouldnt have children. There have been many people out there who adopt or use a sperm bank to have a baby with no partner. Dont judge her just because she isnt married and lives with her parents. If those children are taken care of, which they obviously are, then it shouldnt matter how many she has!



I'm a single mother also, and am in no way saying anything negative to any single parent...BUT she is LIVING at home, with 6 children under 8 which means she either can't or hardly can support the ones she already had.



If the situation were different, say she was living on her own, with a good home that can provide enough SPACE for those children, and was actually capable of supporting them all, then there wouldn't be such an uproar over it.



However, that is not the case. You need to be thinking about the children first. Have you even seen the house they currently reside in?....I feel more sorry for those babies and the previous 6. They're never going to get one on one time with their mother, they're going to have no personal space as they age...it's just so sad, and at the same time, so irresponsible.



Again personally, I think she's doing it for attention and the money. Those babies deserve better.....

Sasha - posted on 01/31/2009

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Doesnt matter id she's married or not. Look at the facts: Can she financially support the children she already has as well as the new 8? highly doubtful. Can she TRULY be there for all of her children.... again, highly doubtful.. so, yeah, I think it's wrong that she's pumping out kids like a machine since she can neither afford them or be there for every child.

Cheryl - posted on 01/31/2009

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Quoting Jessica:

Just because there isnt a father doesnt mean she shouldnt have children. There have been many people out there who adopt or use a sperm bank to have a baby with no partner. Dont judge her just because she isnt married and lives with her parents. If those children are taken care of, which they obviously are, then it shouldnt matter how many she has!


Not having a father around definitely doesn't meana woman shouldn't or can't have children. I have many single mom friends who don't have the father involved at all for varying reasons and they are doing fine.



The issue here is FOURTEEN children!!!!!!!!!!!! A sinlge person....hell a married person CAN NOT care for 14 small children without ALOT of support. I think it is horribly irresponsible to think you can.

Jessica - posted on 01/31/2009

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Just because there isnt a father doesnt mean she shouldnt have children. There have been many people out there who adopt or use a sperm bank to have a baby with no partner. Dont judge her just because she isnt married and lives with her parents. If those children are taken care of, which they obviously are, then it shouldnt matter how many she has!

Donna - posted on 01/31/2009

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Wrong wrong wrong.....I just can't believe she was taking fertility drugs after 6 children and no father. What doctor in their right mind would help this lady do this! There has got to be something wrong with her. She obviously couldn't take care of the 6 she already had (living with her parents). I hope that those kids, all 14 of them are somehow taken care in every way!!

Casey - posted on 01/31/2009

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On one hand, we all have the right to make choices (responsible ones of course). However, if she recklessly chose to have these babies, where were her parents (whom she lives with) in all this. And isn't the doctor/clinic who agreed to implant 8 embryos also a little to blame! Assuming the doctor knew she wasn't going to reduce her pregnancy and could potentially have 8 babies, he/she should have agreed to only implant 2. What about this husband that isn't in the picture? Does he have any responsibility to her and these babies? Moreover, this woman is acting very reckless under her current social and financial circumstances and is ultimately responsible. She is putting all of her children (born and unborn) at great risk and disadvantage.

Is she doing it for money or is she starved for attention???? Either way she is very childish and irresponsible!!!

User - posted on 01/31/2009

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I believe that it's wrong on soo many different levels. How can she really "mother" that many children at one time. There's no father in the picture. I even read somewhere that her own mother said that she's obsessed with having children. Maybe doctors should start requiring a full psych eval before they agree to someone having this many children at one time. I believe that the doctors were very negligent in agreeing to perform this to begin with.

Cheryl - posted on 01/31/2009

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single, married or with a partener.... that's 14!!! FOURTEEN CHILDREN!!!! and I believe the oldest was 8. That's just insane, there has to be some other motive than wanting to be a mom. Something is wrong with this picture.

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