What did you expect motherhood to be like, were you realistic

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Mel - posted on 04/07/2009

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I expected it easier!! I was 18 when I had my now 1 year old daughter and i never realised how sleep deprived you can get! Also i never imagined I would still have a baby thathas never had the chance to demand her feeds she is still on 4hrly feeds which is a little dissapointing and makes me look forward to having anotehr one so i can have a more normal experience not that i dont love her very much but she is hard work

Amie - posted on 04/07/2009

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For me I was expecting the worst. But then I have grown up watching my baby brother and sister a lot. My mom and dad had me and my one brother then 11 years later had two more. So I knew what to expect in ways of possible colic, up every couple hours to feed, how gross diapers can be, how much they cost, etc.... I was happy though that I've been blessed with 4 happy babies. The only real trouble I've had with any of them was my first. She was a summer baby and got a terrible heat rash when she was about a month old. Other than that my babies were all quite content. Now that their older though I can definitely understand why my mom blames her gray hair on us 4! LOL!! It's constant movement, constant noise and not to mention I find myself doing what my mom does and screwing up names. I've called all my girls by each others name going through the list until I get the right one. LOL! At least we only have one boy... god forbid I call him one of his sister's name but I'm sure it's bound to happen eventually. haha.

Roxanne - posted on 04/07/2009

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i had a pretty good idea of what motherhood was like. i helped a lot with my 3 nieces since i was 12. i got pregnant & i already knew what to expect watching these 3 girls grow up. i also had already learned from my sisters' mistakes beforehand. now my daughter is next in line to grow up..

Roxanne - posted on 04/07/2009

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i had a pretty good idea of what motherhood was like. i helped a lot with my 3 nieces since i was 12. i got pregnant & i already knew what to expect watching these 3 girls grow up. i also had already learned from my sisters' mistakes beforehand. now my daughter is next in line to grow up..

Roxanne - posted on 04/07/2009

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i had a pretty good idea of what motherhood was like. i helped a lot with my 3 nieces since i was 12. i got pregnant & i already knew what to expect watching these 3 girls grow up. i also had already learned from my sisters' mistakes beforehand. now my daughter is next in line to grow up..

Lisa - posted on 04/07/2009

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just need to add that it was definitely alot better in most ways the love u feel and the love u recieve is the most remarkable and wonderful thing  i have ever and will ever feel xxx

Lisa - posted on 04/07/2009

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with the first i had no clue although we had been trying for a few years i had never really thought about the bad side sleepless nights and constant crying or what seemed like constant lol. some times i felt like i needed my mum which was ok cause she was always there.



but we have just had number 4 and i am older and wiser although would love to know what a full 8 hours sleep felt like  



 



 

Traci - posted on 04/07/2009

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i thort it would b harder but my biological daughter is only 4, but my step son is 13 and im realising it looks like it gets harder :(



unfortunately i think they will only realise there mistake, but you could try talking to them but people i know do the same thing as waste money hand over fist cos the clothes dont last 2 mins before they r ruined or grown out of it and they still do, and more to the point they keep affording it.....im notsure how-wish i knew...



im a sensible person which people could say is my down fall.....i think a nice dress or suit for the little one here n there is good but everyday where..my little girl when she was born had 70% of good quality second hand stuff, and im glad i didnt uy everything new as they rnt in it two mins.....and now she is 4yrs old she loves nothing better than to have a look round the charity shops to look for itemsdifferent to high street shops......i only buy good stuff, nothing tatty and i save a fortune and she loves it!

Marly - posted on 04/07/2009

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I guess my point is...HAND-ME -DOWNS are the way to go, we will all have plenty of time to hear our kids nagging us for designer clothing.  And the couple Helen was talking about...that reminds me of my sister (another one)  No matter what I say she never learns, even when people are bailing her out and paying her bills, she still buys stupid crap. A  talk might not be a bad idea, but don't expect a miracle.  Most of us idiot humans have to learn the hard way about things, haha.

Marly - posted on 04/07/2009

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Mayby I just prepared myself for the worst, but so far motherhood in most every aspect is easier than I thought.  the money thing, well Jack is only 5 months and is breastfed, but I know that he will cost more and more as he grows, and my sister had a son exactly a year before we has him so I has an still have a steady stream of clothes for him as my nephew grows out of them (I kinda hit the jackpot there)  And that isn't all, we got a crib free, and tons of toys free too.  That isn't even including my baby showers.  And since we got SO MANY diapers as gifts inititially we have only actually purchased 2 packs in that 5 months. Maybe mym next one will be more realistic in that area.

Maria - posted on 04/07/2009

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i went into it with very realistic, i think almost pessimistic, expectations. my little boy has turned out to be much more wonderful, and much easier to take care of than i expected. I actually know a girl  who is in a similar situation with her newborn ( refusing to ask for help, take any advice, thinking her baby was just going to be a "princess"), and ive tried to let her know its ok if its harder than she thinks, and she can have other people to turn to but i have kinda given up in the way of, she will learn soon enough, and its not my responsibility to mother her, i have my own son to mother.

Leah - posted on 04/07/2009

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I think that as far as the $ thing goes ...we were pretty realistic.  After going to the stores and seeing the prices you have to be unless you are totally fooling yourself!  I think that your friend will realise quickly once she starts to buy things for the baby.  You should probably let them figure things out at first but be there to help out with advice when they need it.  I would hold on to the things that you wanted to give to her ... because I would think that she will happily accept them once she sees the financial reality of things!  I totally agree that even on a good income $ does not go as far as you think it will.  We were more than happy to accept hand-me-downs.  I don't know what it is like where you live ... I am assuming not the states since you are talking pounds ... but over here a carseat can run you into a couple 100 $.  I do think that 22 can be quite young for reality if someone has never lived away from parents and had financial reponsibilities.  I would think that by 31 however ....you'd have some clue as to what things are like ... even if you don't have to take on any responsibilities. I do think that they should realise reality before they get into a lot of debt.  I don't know of anyone who got themselves into a ton of debt with their lifestyle choices ... but I do know of people who have lived off of family (parents, sibilings) and friends to make up the $ differences.  They didn't really learn anything about money because everyone was always helping them out with bills etc. because of the children. 

Michelle - posted on 04/07/2009

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Mmmm thats a tuffy, i never expected motherhood to be easy but was still shocked to find out how tuff it really was. Like you i excepted everything i could and hardly bought anything new. Does your friend realise how quick babys grow out of things and buying a jacket for £48 is just insane. If it was my mate id talk to her about the money thing, they are being totally unrealistic. When i became pregnant i was 22 and my partner was 25 but we knew how hard it was going to be financially. I would have a pleasent word or they are going to end up in big trouble.

Helen - posted on 04/07/2009

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I believe i was quite level headed and was pleasently surprised when my very placid little boy came along. I knew what babies cost and was quite happy to have what ever people gave me or to get second hand clothes because even on a good income like mine money still doesn't go far. A friend of mine is 12 weeks and i am worried how she is going to cope. She is planning to move in with her fiancee in the summer and they are getting married at the end of the summer ( baby due october i think?). I have washed and ironed lots of my baby things for her (all very good condition) but she has refused everything saying that they wasnt to buy everything from new! I know she only takes home £120 a week an her husband to be takes home about £250 (both on minimum wage). With this they have to pay for a wedding, find a deposit on a flat, furnish it (also want new for this) and buy all the baby things before october. They have such unreal expectations - ie they only want designer gear ( spent £48 on a newborn jacket last week) Do i sit down and talk to them or do i let them realise their mistake. Neither of them have lived away from their parents, paid bills etc. They are old enough to know better at age 22 and 31! Will they realise before they get into to much debt, are they still in the honeymoon period. Has this happened to anyone you know or did you have unrealistic expectations before the baby was born. Please help and tell me your stories

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