what do u do when your six years old girl wants to fight abt her clothes in the moring time fro scho

Laura - posted on 02/23/2010

Have her pick out her clothes before bedtime the night before ..then in the morning if she still wants to fight about it send her to school in her P.J.'s she will be embarrassed in front of her friends but she will not fight you anymore about her clothes
worked with my grand daughter who is just now 6 years old

Dawn - posted on 02/23/2010

You don't give in no matter how long it takes. The kid knows how to push your buttons. Ignore screaming and tantrums. Stop the excuses and be a parent. Watch Super Nanny maybe she can give you some ideas.

Rain - posted on 02/23/2010

Hello,I had the same problem with my Gdaughter,now we work it to where she has a choice of only 2 outfits to be picked out the night before.

Tish - posted on 02/23/2010

I usually let my daughter pick out her outfit the night before!

Lori - posted on 02/22/2010

In my unprofessional opinion, from all the statements you have made regarding your daughter, her problem isn't with clothes or a suspected OCD. She wants attention. break it down in her behaviors, ie. she puts on clothing and finds faults with everything. She has poor self image, either she is being made fun of in school or is being degraded feeling at home not necessarily you but possibly neighborhood peers or siblings. She is having screaming tantrums, this is a definate lashing out for attention no matter if it is negative or positive. When she has these tantrums especially if they are in front of you, look at her as if she isn't saying a word and then ask her if she is done voicing her opinion. It took about three tantrums for my middle daughter, with this treatment, to get her to realize she is embarrasing herself. She has stopped altogether. I have 3 girls and 1 son all my girls have gone through this phase. It's a part of expressing themselves and not knowing the right outlet to voice their opinions. If she has tantrums like that in the store don't raise your voice as in to yell but turn to her and ask her who her parents are. That stuns them and shuts them up almost immediately. My eldest would follow tears streaming down her face thinking for a moment. She would tug on my jacket gently and ask, "Aren't you my mother?" my reply is always, "little girl, I don't know who you think I am but my daughter does not behave this way." Sounds foolish but its all psychological. All my friends are shrinks and no I'm am not getting any professional help from them.lol. Just perfecting failures that I have noticed at home and with other peoples children. Parental trial and error so to say. I also am a Girl Scout leader for 4 troops at once overseeing 35 girls ages 5-17years. Works on them as well. Good Luck

Lori - posted on 02/22/2010

I have two daughters like this. one is 8 the 6. my 8 yr old is very fashion conscious more so than I am at times.lol she seems to be more in tune with the latest fashion trends which at her young age I was surprised with her talents for mixing and matching. Let her have free reign with in reason when it comes to her taste in clothes otherwise later down the road if she really doesn't care for the clothes you may find them oops accidentally torn or stained. That is always the famous line I get from my 6 yr old then the 8yr lectures her on her bad manners when it comes to clothes. They are funny but the bes of friends. Good Luck

Dawn - posted on 02/22/2010

Don't put any Ideas into your childs head about OCD. That is crap. Everything your child has learned has come from YOU.(parents) Posative energy! You need to set boundries and stick to it. It is easier to give in than to disciplin. You are the Mom, you are in charge period! Let your child be involved in every day life. Make it fun. When you go shopping give her a list of items to look for. Ask her for help doing chores. You can make most daily activities a game. Set goals, give rewards..Life should not be a hassel for you or your child. If your child misbehaves take away her toys, tv time etc. When my son was little he told me that he would rather have a spanking than to lose his tv cause no tv hurt worse. You can do this!

Kate - posted on 02/22/2010

I have an eight year old and before she started kindergarten we adopted the rule that she has to pick out an appropriate outfit before she goes to bed or forever hold her peace. Works like a charm. If there is nothing there when I go to bed I pick something out and she puts m selection on when she wakes up.

Dawn - posted on 02/22/2010

The night before I would put two outfits together and let my daughter pick the one she likes best. Children feel like "real people" if they are included in small decisions about them. Make them feel important! Let them make some deisions.

Krista - posted on 02/22/2010

Let her dress herself as long as it is weather appropriate.

Julie - posted on 02/22/2010

either let her pick out an outfit the night before or give her two outfits to chose from in the morning, if she doesnt want to pick one then you pick one. your in charge n she has a certain time frame not to be wasted before school to complete other things (breakfast,brush teeth etc)

Trisha - posted on 02/22/2010

When my children were younger, I would pick out the weeks worth of school clothes during the weekend...5 outfits. Then, my girls would decide what order they wanted to wear the clothing in. We would put them in the appropriate bins labeled Monday thru Friday. We made sure everything they needed to get around for school that day was in the bin, such as clothing, socks, undergarments, etc. Then when the weekend came, that was their time to shine. They could where what they wanted as long as it was weather appropriate. This allowed them a little bit of freedom during the weekend, while being able to feel as if they were making their own choices thru out the week. I hope this helps!

Rayme - posted on 02/22/2010

I let my girls choose. there's no reason, and picking battles is half the part of being mom, right?

Megan - posted on 02/22/2010

i would just let her pick out her own clothes who really cares what they look like as long as they are not innappropriate, people will def. know that she dressed herself!

Andi - posted on 02/22/2010

Honestly I think it's a girl thing to be picky about how things fit her. I'm the same way with my jeans, they have to sit on my shoes just right and if they don't then I won't wear them. Maybe set aside a weekend and have her try on all of her clothes and have her tell you exactly what she likes and what she doesn't like. Then make a mental note about what jeans she likes to wear with what shoes and so on. I also find it helpful when I go shopping for jeans is to wear the shoes I would usually wear with my jeans so that way when you find a nice pair of jeans for her to wear she'll be able to tell you right there if she likes how everything is fitting or not. Hope this helps!

Christy - posted on 02/22/2010

I have two daughters 7 and 9, with very different tastes in clothes...we have gone through this quite a bit. What helped is right before bed helping them pick two or three choices, and narrowing it down to one. We lay them out on the end of their beds or over a chair and getting ready for school the next day is a cinch. Also, I make sure to try and have cute hair accessories, or maybe a necklace or bracelet or funky socks to coordinate, especially if the choosing is hard....they usually get excited when they see all those things put together and picking one outfit is much easier. Make it seem like her choice, with just a little exciting input from you! :)

Jamie - posted on 02/22/2010

I'm already in trouble. My almost 2 year old has a fit about clothes. It seems to help if I get clothes with animals or cute things on them. Then I say things like, do you want to wear the kitty shirt today.

Sandy - posted on 02/22/2010

I know my girl has always had a mind of her own, so when she was very young I started giving her choices. For instance, on getting dressed in the morning, I would pick out two complete outfits the night before and have her pick one. That way she had a hand in the decision making process and she had all night to get used to the idea that she was wearing that outfit. Every child is different, but that helped us.

Sarah - posted on 02/22/2010

I agree with that as well. Let her choose 2 outfits the night before and then in the morning she can choose one from the 2.

Isobel - posted on 02/22/2010

Have you thought about taking her with you to buy the clothes? Maybe if she likes the clothes in the first place it could help.

Michelle - posted on 02/22/2010

I was thrilled when the shool started uniforms, so not a problem anymore.

Kelly - posted on 02/22/2010

I let mine pick out and wear what she likes. I bought them all so she can wear them in any combo she likes....and let me tell you she never matches, but loves herself so why would I care??

Dawn - posted on 02/22/2010

I finally gave up, there's no need for that stress right away in the a.m!!! Now she has no choice. I'm mom and your clothes are laid out on the bed. She hasn't argued about it since!

Lesa - posted on 02/22/2010

Have her lay her clothes that she wants to wear out before bed the night before....works like a charm...Lesa

Debbi (Grammy) - posted on 02/21/2010

I see many respondents indicating that they argue with their child. You are the adult, and do not need to unnecessarily argue with a 6 year old. If you mean what you say, the child will eventually calm themselves and follow your direction, particularly if you give them the limited choice of 2 outfits, as many respondents also said. Arguing with a child is a certain way for a mom to lose an argument.

Nikki - posted on 02/21/2010

All sounds like great advice.............I have boys and they don't care what they wear but I have a friend with a picky girls and she gets to pick out five outfits for the week. Her mom irons them and they hang in her room. Each morning she can choose from those five and nothing else. She is not allowed to go back into her closet for anything else. Seems to work for them.

Rachale - posted on 02/21/2010

Ugh I went through this w/My daughter as well, I agree w/ let her pick them out in the evening before bed,it is hard because they want to express themselves at this age I went through many arguments! Try to let her be as self expressive as you can and see if you can comprimise with her, compliment her pics too and then suggest one of yours/Good luck

Mala - posted on 02/21/2010

Go with her and help her pick them out the night before, so the morning goes much more smoothly.

Debbi (Grammy) - posted on 02/21/2010

It is not up to a 6 year old to decide among several items of clothing each day. Give her a choice between two outfits, or staying in PJs for school. Stick to your word, and it will mean something.

Dulcie - posted on 02/21/2010

After doing the same with 3 kids...give a choice of this shirt or that one, and these pants or those. If only seasonal appropriate clothing is available, there is no issue there. (ie no shorts in the dresser in Dec, etc). Matching is something adults concern themselves with, not children, so make sure all 4 options match, and you are good. I did very little buying of clothes that only matched one pair of pants etc. Also, helping choose the clothing when it is purchased helps. If they don't like the shirt, they are NEVER gonna choose it, and you WILL fight about it every time you try to get her to wear it. I have an autisitic son and we didn't realize at first that alot of his clothing objections had to do with fabric, etc, and how they feel on his skin. he is 12 now, and everything he wears is cotton, and I have to wash it a couple of times befor he is comfortable wearing it. You do need to see if you can figure what the pattern to her objections are if there is one. Most kids concerns are comfort, if the objection is the clothing itself. If the child's concern is control...better not lose yours! here are your options, dress yourself, or i will dress you. period. And these are the consequences if not done in (x amount of time). Follow thru. Good luck!

Rashell - posted on 02/21/2010

I put out 3 outfits for my daughter to chhose from so she is able to choose what she wants but its at a limit.

Jeannette - posted on 02/21/2010

My girl is 17yrs. old now and she went through the same thingIi would lay out a few different outfits that she could mix and match.This way she could match and still have some say in what she wears.

Jerrie - posted on 02/21/2010

you have so many things you have to say no about pick your battels if what they want to wear is not inapropriate let her wear it if it dosent match tell her what might match better we try so hard to dress them afraid of what others would say but when it comes down to it we tell them to be proud of themselfs and not worry about what others think then we try to dress them like everyone else or better

Leanne - posted on 02/21/2010

Definatly don't let her know that you like something because if you do, she won't like it. I have three girls who would NOT wear anything that I liked or said was my favorite outfit. I let them pick out their own clothes, even if it didn't match or look very nice, and always told them that they did a really good job of being responsible for themselves. Being a big girl means getting yourself dressed and ready for school on time. I have to admit, there were quite a few days that I was a little emberassed dropping them off at school, but we didn't argue about getting ready and they were all happy. Good Luck with the battle of the clothes. My biggest battle now with my three girls is " THAT"S MY SHIRT!"

Liezel - posted on 02/21/2010

This is the age where they want to dress themselves, so I would put out 2 complete outfits and have her choose which one she wants to wear. Picking out clothes the night before is also a good idea.

Heather - posted on 02/21/2010

I have our kids, especially our 6 uear old daughter pick her clothes out before bed. Then she knows what she is wearing for that day.

Delray - posted on 02/21/2010

Give her lots of things to choose from so she thinks that she is the one making the decision. Besides wear blue and purple polka dots with green pants isn't hurting anyone. :)

Alma - posted on 02/21/2010

let her pick them out the nite b4, and then the both of ya'll come to an agreement on it. understand lil girls have a since of style at a young age know a days.. give her a chance to b a big girl. and remember she is the one that have to wear it and if shes not comfortable than she wont wear it well. next time take her shopping with you. cause if shes fightin bout her clothes she must not like them.. coming from a mother with a 11yr old daughter so i been there, and now she go shopping and i can trust her to get nice clothing cuz she know what i will allow her to wear. even tho shes six u still need to b opend minded about things cause she have her own since of style... WISHING U THE BEST OF LUCK!! CANT HELP BUT LUV THEM!!!!

Alicia - posted on 02/21/2010

We lay clothes out the night before. Sometimes, I'll lay out two choices.

Alicia - posted on 02/21/2010

Let her dress herself. As long its weather appropriate, who cares what she looks like. There are worse things to fight over. My son used to do that too, I would tell whether he matched or not and it was up to him to change. He is now nine and has a good sense on what matches. Makes mornings way more easier.

Colleen - posted on 02/21/2010

I pick out 2 or 3 outfits that can mix and match, then I give her the choice of those clothes. She gets to pick and not look to silly.

Cecile - posted on 02/21/2010

Same here..pick out the night before I have a 7 yr old and she started fighting with me about clothes last year...so we started picking them out the night before..next morning if she does not want to wearwhat she picke out the night befor i tell her she can not play after school( for punishment for making trouble in the morning) She has wore what she pick out she ha be grounged for not wearing what she picked out only oe time....

Ashley - posted on 02/21/2010

Let her pick if u see her getting to frustrated then try to give her advice. But try not to let it seem like ur picking it out r tryin to help her. My daughter is very strong willed. She wants it her way and she got that honesty. I let her pick when she gets frustrated I try to help her if that dosen't go so smoothly then I step out of the room. Sometimes she figures it out and sometimes she comes to me for help. If I try to take charge and do it for her she gets upset then I get upset and then it's a total melt down. And sometimes I have to bite my tounge when she walks out of her room with 4 layers of clothes on. Cause she'll wear pants, shorts over that, and then a skirt. Or sometimes she'll wear a skirt as a shirt with pants. It looks silly but she feels good about herself. But if ur daughter starts to get over welmed then ask if u can help or say "I would wear that shirt with those pants" Give suggestions. Not orders.

Nicole - posted on 02/21/2010

good advice i do take charge of her but i get sick and tried of having to fight with her every moring yall say let her pick her clothes she does its the fact she has ocd and the docs wont diagnose her thats were her proms are with having everything having to be perfect i have try everything with her im at my wits in how do u deal with a child that has ocd alot people keep telling me its behavior that bull i spank my kids and used time out and they get stuff take from them when they misbehave what more is there

Brandie - posted on 02/21/2010

I have been told to fight the battles worth fighting. If she wants to dress herself great give her encouragement for doing it by herself! If she wants to hit, lie, not do homework then step in. If it makes her feel great to wear yellow polka dots with blue striped pants and dress shoes the so be it.

Mariah - posted on 02/20/2010

the night before you could lay out two to three outfits for her to pick from for her to wear the next day. you could also do this the morning of. By picking out the outfits for her to choose from you are helping her see what is appropriate and by letting her choose you are giving her some say so she feels like she has somehting that she can control and do by herself.

Rebecca - posted on 02/20/2010

Make it simple and keep choices by doing this. The night before (or that morning) pick out two or three outfits for her to choose from. That way, she can still choose, but isn't torn between her entire wardrobe.

Ashley - posted on 02/20/2010

I let my 4 yr old daughter pick out her own clothes. And some days she looks silly, but on important days I pick out her clothes. I've learned to pick my battles.

Cindy - posted on 02/20/2010

On Sunday, choose clothes for the week. Each evening check the weather report & decide what to wear the next day & stick w/the choice. Why should there be any argument? Who's the parent & who is the child?

Mapet - posted on 02/20/2010

My own kids started choosing their clothes at 3 years and we have allowed them that to a certain extent (when their preference is inappropriate for the weather) and we try not to shield them from the consequences of their choices (if you take too long, you'll be late and sometimes you get left behind or we don't go at all -- that one was the clincher). But you said "she WANTS to fight about her clothes." Is she an only child or does she have siblings? At this age your child may be trying be more independent or maybe she's looking for some attention.