what do you consider "bad "words for your child to say, besides the obvious?

Nicole - posted on 06/29/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

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I've heard some parents scold their children for saying words like "stupid", "butt", various potty words out of context, etc. Those kinds of words don't bother me. My rule is if I don't say, you don't say it. My son is only 6 months old and not talking yet so for now it's not a problem but when he does start talking I'll have to watch what I say around him a little more carefully. What do you consider "bad" words?

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Kate CP - posted on 06/29/2009

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My daughter has learned some new ones since going to school. Words or phrases we don't like:
Shut up
Stupid
Dummy
Jesus Christ
Asshole (that was a fun one to hear coming out of my 3 year old's mouth)
Fuck (yes, my 3 year old said it. Although because of her speech impediment from a missing front tooth it comes out "suck". Don't know which is worse...)

I'm pretty sure there's another one that I've heard her say but I can't think of it. Honestly I don't care too much about curse words at home and the reason why is because they ARE just words. I teach her that those are words that hurt people's feelings and it's not nice to say those words to people. But I've found that if you make a HUGE deal out of a word or phrase they just say it a billion times more frequently. Insults I absolutely do not allow in my house. We do not call each other names and it's a serious offense if I catch some one doing it.

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Malinda - posted on 07/01/2009

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I'm big on not letting single words fill in for complex emotions.



Usually you hear "bad" words because someone is angry or frustrated (I HATE broccoli, this game is retarded, shut up, etc). Using strong words to cover up an intense feeling does not promote Emotional Intelligence. We're not there yet with our toddler, but as adults my husband and I strive to redirect our impulse to say what is really on our minds (I'm feeling a little bored with broccoli, I wish we could eat something else. I'm feeling really frustrated with this game, I would like to play it differently or come back to it later. What you're saying right now is making me angry because..., etc). I know it sounds lengthy and academic, but learning to truly express our emotions is far more productive than simply banning a word. While there are certainly words that bother me more than others, hurtful language in general will be redirected this way in my home. And in some cases with words that are used flippantly without realizing the hurtful nature of the word (i.e. any racial slur or slang for homosexuality or mental impairment) I'll probably be a little more stringent about and have my children research the history of the word and understand its connotations. I think in general we tend to be lazy with our speech and not think about what we're really saying, and I want to instill that kind of mindfulness in my children.

Libby - posted on 07/01/2009

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I wouldn't consider those various words "bad words" but I classify them as "potty words". Basically I don't like it when my boys make up words and names to out of butt and poop or whatever the case may be.

Heidi - posted on 07/01/2009

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HATE!!! This is a huge rule for me. I tell my kids that you can not hate anything. You can dislike your brother/sister or someone but not hate them. You could not like them right now but not hate them. This is such a huge thing for my family. I have even overheard my 5 yr old tell his cousin " That word is not allowed in our house, you dont have to like it but you cant hate it." This just goes to prove that kids do know right from wrong, even if they dont follow it. How I glowed after I heard him say this.

Jo Ann - posted on 06/29/2009

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I agree with all these moms... Nicole, we do the samething. But we use, " Pickle" instead!

Nicole - posted on 06/29/2009

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Wow, I had no idea there were so many "bad" words! Now, do you say these words in front of your kids? What are some more acceptable words to replace those with? I said all those words growing up, and still do. I've called my husband a "doo-doo head" more than once! I use these words to replace the really bad words. I guess I'll have to get really creative once my son starts talking.

Katie - posted on 06/29/2009

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I totally agree with the rest of the moms - shut up, stupid, hate
I also don't allow my son to say Oh my God

Angie - posted on 06/29/2009

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Retard, butt, stupid, dumb, shut up, hate, the Lord's name except when in a reverent way, fart.

Dana - posted on 06/29/2009

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The word I dont allow is "What". You dont have to say yes Maam but please do not say what.

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I totally agree that stupid is inappropriate for a child. It causes problems in school where it is also not tolerated. "Shut up" is also one of the words I consider to be a no no. Don't worry about them learning bad words that will have their place later in life (smile), they will acquire that previledge in due time (when they're adults). A few others to consider are words so similar to thing that they may as well be saying it (ex bull crap)

Kristine - posted on 06/29/2009

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i don't like when my son says he hates something...i just tell him that hates a bad word and you don't want something like that in your life...so i ask him to just say that he simply doesn't like what ever it is that he's talking about at the moment...

Tashia Ann - posted on 06/29/2009

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i agree "stupid" is an bad word an i also dont let my kids say "fat" my goddaughter an my newborn r both bigger babys an my 3 year old called one of them fat an i had to explane to her it wasnt nice to call anyone that

Jessica - posted on 06/29/2009

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I consider "stupid" a bad word. It's one word that is not allowed in our home. WE believe it's a bad word b/c we don't want our son to believe he can call anyone stupid or that something is stupid just b/c he doesn't like it or doesn't like someone

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