What do you do when your 15 year old daughter tells you she pregnan? abortion and adoption is out.

Jennie - posted on 08/13/2009

Why are adoption and abortion out of the question (you don't have to tell me, just yourself). Every time a child is born to a child, their chances of being in poverty and undereducated more than double. The opportunities afforded citizens of the United States are unparalleled and giving up those opportunities because of a mistake deserve great thought. Your daughter may one day be an amazing woman and the baby's daddy may one day be a wonderful man but that is years off and it's really not fair to another person (their baby) to be put in a situation just because you aren't willing to research the options. If abortion is out because of religious reasons, there are many many many families who would do anything to be loving, whole families for this baby. It would be the most selfless, mature decision either of you has ever made. Please think about it.

Kendra - posted on 08/13/2009

Well I had my first at 19 and I have to say my family was wonderful, I waas unwed and alone ( dad left as soon as he found out) , I had had parenting classes and they helped some so I would suggest you find your daughter some after all we can all use advice in this area from time to time. I agree setting up a plan for her education is a must but she does have to understand that this is her doing and her responsibility, so support her but don't do it all for her. When I wasn't working or sick my family let me know that it was my job to take care of my child. If I wanted to go out I had to find and pay a babysitter because I wasn't a young carefree woman I was parent with responsibilities by choice in my actions, and thats what she needs to understand, by all means whether she is with the dad or not he and his family should be apart of the baby's life after all he helped make it, so let them encourage them to be part of raising the baby , it will be happier for knowing them.

Amy - posted on 08/13/2009

My mother was in your place almost 18 years ago. With the support of my family, I accepted the life I chose for myself. My dad had the hardest time with it at first. Your daughter will grow up fast. She may be reacting to the shock herself. I was just like her..Making jokes the whole nine yards. Which drove everyone nuts!

The life she chose will not be an easy one. But can be one of great fullfillment!

Fast forward 18 years: My son and my dad are best friends,they are kindered spirits.

As an adult my dad and I have talked about the fact that he couldnt imagine his life without my son, nor could I. He taught me so much. He is wise beyond his years (maybe because we grew up together) Good luck

Jo - posted on 08/13/2009

Been in that postion grandchild is now 3 all you can do is support, and love her. But i will say is if mum and baby live with you initially lay your ground rules right from birth other wise you could could end "holding the baby" once over the shock it's great and enjoy being a grandparent. Good luck.

Christine - posted on 08/13/2009

My parenting book says treat them like the adults they practically are anyway. Be her best friend and do your best to help her get her life back in order: college: Career, Marriage, Home Family. She is out of order but everything else she does can be to get her back in order. My daughter sees the school counselor once a week and it helps her grades. He also put us in touch with the college counselor and the guidance counselor. I need all three of their help because I'm a single mom too. It's important you utilize the outside resources. Once she is in HS, get involved and be part of the community. Your setting an example still and everything you do should involve getting and giving support.

Dee - posted on 08/13/2009

I've read through several of the responses and I agree with those who are saying love your daughter and support her. Love the baby when it comes. I was 15 when I had my first child, married at 16, 2nd child at 17 and then waited until I was 23 for the third child. I am still married to the same wonderful man, all of my children are grown, married and have children or children on the way. There have been some struggles along the way, but our children have grown up to love God, family, nation and work hard to take care of their families. My parents were upset at the time, but loved me through and have always supported (not enabled) me. Although she is complacent now, your daughter will go through many emotions over the next few months. You can't judge what will happen once the baby is born by her reactions right now. Make sure she has an objective mentor she can talk too and lean on through this as well. You may want her to be open to you, but just as in other parent/child situations the relationship is too close to sometimes be completely open with one another. You should also have someone you can share your feelings with. Seek out a Stephen Ministry program in your area and see if this might be a source you could use. It is a wonderful free resource where you can have someone walk alongside you in your time of need.

Brenda - posted on 08/13/2009

shes 15 .we all make mistakes.this is one she will be remined of all her life .as she gets older she will be thankful she has this baby . but for now all you can do is talk to her, get her the medical help she needs ,and love her ,and never ever turn away from her ,shes carring you're grand child .these are 2 of the most important people in you're life ,be there for her every day and help her anyway you can.

Sarah - posted on 08/13/2009

I knew of someone close who was pregnant at 14, sadly she lost her baby and even though she has gone on to have children she always remembers!! Be there to support her in the best possible way please dont try to take over as she needs to learn how to cope and she may even rebel against you if you try that. She will still be shock herself im very sure she didnt plan this to happen but once the baby start moving it becomes reality im 30 now and i still feel so sad about what happened all those years ago, she was under tremendous pressure not to keep it and offered stragies of adoption or even grandma looking after it but she never wanted any of it even though they were sure she would need it, but it was obviously not meant to be though i dont think her scar will ever heal over this. She took a lot of stick for her situation but she stood tall. Please dont think im judging just trying to offer you advice from what i saw. Be the babies grandma they need special grandmas who love them different and yes you can treat the baby special because that is what grandparents are for. My children have grandparents but only 3 bother with them really and sadly 2 live 200 miles away lucky for me there grandad who is exactly my stepfather would walk on hot coals for both of them so they have most days but when they visit there other grandparents it even more special. My little boy is there step grandchild too as my parent is my youngest daughters father but there is no difference shown. Out of 6 grandparents not too bad x



Good luck with the future i wish you and your daughter every success !!

Danette - posted on 08/13/2009

All I can say is stay in constant prayer. Let your daughter know that you love her and that you will be there for her. Also let her know that a baby is a huge responsibility and that although you will be there for her, the baby is her responsibility. You will do what you can so that she can continue to go to school and all. Give her many hugs and let her know that although you may be dissappointed, you still love her unconditionally and that you will get through this together. Please do not avoid her or shut her out, this is the time when she needs you most.....Be Blessed.

Sandra - posted on 08/13/2009

All you can do is love her no matter what she is your daughter.Also that precious gift will change everything

Tanya - posted on 08/13/2009

I am with Sharon here. I find it amazing that this country with it's good ole family values accepts these kinds of "mishaps" as the norm. Being pregnant at 15 is nothing to be "nonchalant" about. I am sad that so many of your were pregnant in your teens and are on your 2nd "baby daddies" and such. I have been fortunate to have had what I consider a drama-less life - finished high school in the 1980s without having sex, finished college and graduate school in the 1990s without getting pregnant, and I was not abstinent; I was smart. I am now married with 3 sons who I remind of their responsibilities to God, themselves, their family, and the women with whom they decide to have sex. I hold no false images of them going through their teen years without having sex, driving at excessive speeds, or even experimenting with drugs and alcohol, but I do let them know fully that there are consequences for each action, and sometime they are negative and life-altering. I expect that if they do come home with news of getting a young lady pregnant before they are married, they will understand that my husband and I will not afford them the same luxuries to which they have grown greatly accustomed. They will have to find a way to finish school, support themselves and their child without using us as live-in nannies so they can "enjoy the rest of their childhood". Once you decide to bring a child into the world, the age of innocence is over and your privileges in that world should be revoked. I think we have allowed too many young people in this country to believe that they can have the best of both worlds - be a child one day and then play house with a lover and a baby the next. They need to learn that with adult decisions, such as having unprotected sex, come adult consequences, such as actually rearing the child without around-the-clock help.

Brenda - posted on 08/13/2009

Our children are human as we are. They make choices that we don't always agree on. However she is your daughter and you love her and you will love the grandchild too. At least that is whait I can determine from your statements. There are so many challenges that our children face through not just their life but ours too. There are also things they face because of challenges that God or mother nature has given them. Support you daughter with love, let her be the responsible mom for this baby and encourage her with advice she asks for. Best wishes. Our children are the ones who love us unconditionally in the end.

Victoria - posted on 08/13/2009

Just keep being the good mother that you appear to be, keep informing her that you love her and that the baby is her responsibilty, and you will be there for her and the baby when needed.keep us inform about how things turn out.

Jamie - posted on 08/13/2009

I had my first child when I was 14 and it is real hard. It will make a world of difference to have you there for her. My son is now 16 and a junior in high school, he is an amazing young man. I would not trade him in for anything. I think that as long as she is going to have her family there for her, she will get through this.

Jenn - posted on 08/13/2009

All you can do is be supportive. My mother was 19 when she had me and we made it. A plan is in order though, you 2 will need to be on the same page. Chances are if she is acting disconnected, she is afraid and needs you to reassure her that you are invested in her and the baby. Baby's are gifts and a lot of hardwork. She will realize all of this pretty quickly. Much love to you during this tough time.

Caitlyn - posted on 08/13/2009

I had my first baby when I was 19 and I know that is a few years older but as long as she realizes how much her life is going to change and how much responsibility it is then she will be ok. It is going to take time but I'm sure she can do it!

Andi - posted on 08/13/2009

The question is-Is your daughter ready to raise a baby, when she is still so very young?Her whole life is in front of her and stats show that young girls who travel this road will not finish their education and will not receive any help from the father, who is probably as young as she is(hopefully). I totally agree with the abortion is not an option, but adoption, that gives a couple who cannot conceive a chance at being parents, and a chance for your daughters future. I have friends that were not able to have children and were blessed with the adoption of their son from a girl who was to young. Even with the support of you, it would be to hard for her to take on that resonsibilty. She should have never put herself into that situation, but that is water under the bridge at this point, but just know that at 15, boy or girl, they are still in that "All about me" faze and when all the attention goes away from having that beautiful blessing and all her friends are running around going to the mall, parties, games she is stuck with the baby. I have seen it first hand with my own sister, who decided that since all the attention was gone, that it was not fun for her and she left my parents holding the diaper bag. Are you ready to raise another child? You could possibly do just that. You and your daughter have a lot of thinking to do. Don't close the adoption door. There are many loving couples out there waiting for that chance. My prayers are with you and your daughter. Good luck!!

Deb - posted on 08/13/2009

Having been there, after the shock wore off, I realized any baby is a blessing. We supported her as best we could with suport and love. I loved that child so very much and he was such a blessing. Don't worry about gossip! Supporting your child is the most important thing. The non-chalance is because she has no idea how much her life is going to change. She has no life experience to compare it. Good luck.

Gale - posted on 08/13/2009

Abortion I think should always be out of the question. I would recommend that you and your husband and daughter need to sit down with the babys father and his parents and get a game plan. Let the kids(and they are) know that you support and love them but they will have to be responsible for their actions. At 15 they know what happens when you have sex. Talk to the other parents and be sure they are willing to help. Get a game plan for the kids to be able finish school! Thats important! But make sure the teens know that soon as school is out parenting starts and last until school the next day. Don't allow them too much free time because they need to step up and do their part. Be very supportive and maybe get them some counseling aheaad of time so you(the grandparents) don't end up raising the baby yourself and the teens don't learn any lessons from this. They are going to have to learn what they are gonna lose by doing what they have done. Teens have no idea what its gonna take to have a baby. You need to also stress to your daughter about taking care of herself during this pregnancy. Eating right and exercising. One real important thing is stop having sex. No new partners especially unprotected. STD's need to be drilled into her head. STD's can cause devastating problems in a pregnancy. DEATH of the baby is a big one. During delivery if every precaution isn't met they baby would be at risk contracting the disease and many infections can occur and cause the baby to die. Please love and support your daughter but tie that chain to her to protect the baby. I feel so bad for you right now because your gonna be the one doing alot of work, But in the end it will be worth it. Hope I have helped a little....please stress the dangers to your daughter of having sex while she pregnant. Just because shes pregnant doesn't mean she doesn't need protection. Lessons learned the hard way last a life time!!:(

Lory Ann - posted on 08/13/2009

I have a 17 year old that just dropped this on me. All I can do is make the best of it and see that she is healthy and happy throughout this time. You have to believe that things are going to be ok and that there is a reason the baby came into your life at this time. Hang in there and talk a lot with friends, it helps. God bless!

MARIA - posted on 08/13/2009

At 15 being non-chalant is to be expected. That's how she got herself into this. Be as supportive as possible and for a long while get ready to be the mom again. This time to your grandchild.

Maybe when she first sets her eyes on her baby she'll have a whole chang of attitude. I got preganant at 22 the first time (un-wed) and the whole time I was preganant it was like I wasn't. Once I saw my angel though That maternal instinct just kicked in so fast I was obsessed!!! That very minute all I wanted to do was better myself as a person so she would have the life i daydreamed about for her.

Help her out as much as you can. Your daughter still has to finish school and get her life on track before she can support a baby.

I think she's lucky to have you! You seem like a great Mom!!!

Firebird - posted on 08/12/2009

Quoting Amanda:

How can adoption be out the question? This baby deserves a propper family with 2 parents who can give it all of the emotional, financial, and family support it needs. Your daughter is obviously not ready for any of this. Do the right thing. give this baby a chance at the brightest future possible.

I'm sorry but you've got some nerve! I am a single mother (many of us are).... haven't always been, but I am now. My child has a "proper" family even though her father and I are no longer together. She still gets all of the emotional, financial and family support that she had when we were together. Single parent families have the same potential to as fulfilling and supportive as 2 parent families. Wendy's daughter may not be ready for this but that does not mean that she is destined to screw it all up!

You may have noticed if you read my post that the word "proper" has 2 ps, not 3.

Holly - posted on 08/12/2009

Well, my child is three now, but I got pregnant in highschool. I was 17, senior..same story pretty much. Never believed in abortion nor adoption. When I told my mom, she yelled at first, then got up threw a bottle of pills at me and said. Here, you're taking these. (they were prenatals!) After that, she held me and my boyfriend and said it's going to be hard but we will get through this. So supporting her is all you can do, but she needs to realize that this is a big deal. Don't scare her, but try to give her an idea what it's going to be like. It wasn't easy for me, but I did it!! She does need to continue her education, and juggle a lot, but those are sacrafices she will have to make, and know it's all worth it in the end!

Michelle - posted on 08/12/2009

Quoting Krista:

It really kills me to see, in this day and age, the lack of knowledge that teens have of sex. With so many contraceptive measures out on the market, how in the WORLD are kids STILL getting pregnant? Why would they want to throw their lives away? And being non-chalant about being a mother at 15? You know what this says to me....she's EXPECTING you to help her. She KNOWS you're going to help her. If, at 15, I had gotten pregnant, I would have been scared to freaking death of my mother and not at all non-chalant. If anything, I'd say support her emotionally, but let her know that you will not mother this child. That, if she wants to continue on in school, she'll have to get a job so that she can pay for child care while she does it. You taking the baby to raise while YOUR baby goes to school teaches her nothing of the responsibility of what it means to have a child. But, that's just my two cents.

I don't think it's a lack of knowledge...they know all sorts of things, including where to get protection and how to use it.  The problem is that at 15, kids think it can't happen to THEM.  These are things that happen to other people, not to them (until it DOES happen). 

All sorts of young people become parents in their teens including devoutly religious kids and very well-educated ones.  I've seen kids whose parents even PROVIDE THEM WITH PROTECTION get pregnant.

As to the non-chalance, I think it's a cover-up for being scared to death.  I do agree that the teen parent need to BE the parent if (s)he decides to keep the baby.  But always love, love, love and BE THERE!

Michelle - posted on 08/12/2009

LOVE HER and support her. She may seem cool as a cucumber on the outside, but she will need to know that you are there when she can't talk to anyone else. She may not 100% know what she's getting into, but she's not first to join the ranks of Mom at an early age and she won't be the last. I went through this when my daughter was 16 (going on 17). When she told me, I was also shocked and very scared, too. I asked her what she wanted to do and held my breath as she answered (fearing the dreaded A word). I was SO relieved when she told me she wanted to have and keep her child (who is now 2 going on 3 years old and a wonderful child).



The main thing I'd like to suggest is don't be judgemental, which from your post it sounds like you are not, so you're good. The shock wears off and you will love your grandchild in ways you never imagined possible. Life a single Mom won't be easy (been there, too!), but if there's a strong family support system, everyone will come through just fine.

Darcel - posted on 08/12/2009

Quoting Leslie:

BE THANKFUL for your daughter and the little one coming into your life because my daughter came home and wished she could have had to tell me she was bringing a new life into this world, instead she had to tell me that she had AIDS.
I wish your family the best!!

Amen. thank you for putting this issue into a greater perspective. If your only "punishment" for having pre-martial unprotected sex is a healthy baby, you have gotten off pretty lightly.

Leslie - posted on 08/12/2009

I wont take up to much of your time - to basicly agree and repeat what most of the other loving mothers have said on here. But one thing does come to mind an old newspaper article to Ann Landers many years ago that my mom used to express her feelings of these hypothetical situations -- a lady had wrote her for advice and comments from others just as you have done here on her young daughters unplanned pregnancy, and the printed response was from another mom. She said BE THANKFUL for your daughter and the little one coming into your life because my daughter came home and wished she could have had to tell me she was bringing a new life into this world, instead she had to tell me that she had AIDS.

I wish your family the best!!

Kim - posted on 08/12/2009

Love her like you always have and be the best support you can.

Lynn - posted on 08/12/2009

Love her and support her! I know you don't want adoption suggested but have you heard of an open adoption? This is where you have a ongoing relationship with the adoptive family and with the child. This is the type of adoption we are involved in with our son's birth family and it's working out marvelously well. Our son (adopted from birth and now 8) loves his birth family very much, is very much aware of the circumstances of his adoption, and communicates regularly with them. The birth parents have taken on roles much similar to that of an aunt and uncle to him and his birth grandparents are still, of course, grandparents. We love them too. They are wonderful people who wanted the best for their child at a time when they recognized the best couldn't come from themselves, thus they planned an adoption. We waited 10 years on the adoption list and were very ready and prepared in our lives for children. It has worked out beautifully.

Just a consideration.... google it to learn more.

Best wishes,

Lynn

Lynn - posted on 08/12/2009

Love her and support her! I know you don't want adoption suggested but have you heard of an open adoption? This is where you have a ongoing relationship with the adoptive family and with the child. This is the type of adoption we are involved in with our son's birth family and it's working out marvelously well. Our son (adopted from birth and now 8) loves his birth family very much, is very much aware of the circumstances of his adoption, and communicates regularly with them. The birth parents have taken on roles much similar to that of an aunt and uncle to him and his birth grandparents are still, of course, grandparents. We love them too. They are wonderful people who wanted the best for their child at a time when they recognized the best couldn't come from themselves, thus they planned an adoption. We waited 10 years on the adoption list and were very ready and prepared in our lives for children. It has worked out beautifully.

Just a consideration.... google it to learn more.

Best wishes,

Lynn

Renetta - posted on 08/12/2009

I have 2 girls and I have tried to give them the guidance that the need to not make them mistakes. Especially being a mom at a young age. If she came home and told me that she was pregnant I would talk to her to see where her head is at. Then I would let her know all her options help her find a job and let her know I am there morally but she will know that. This is her child and she will be it's mother not me. So that she understands that she has to grow up all the way due to she is now responsible for someone else and that she will need to provide for her and her child.

Tamara - posted on 08/12/2009

All you can do is support her. It WILL NOT be easy!! You will wonder where you went wrong (which you probably didn't) and it will change all of your lives. Now, you all have to learn how to live this new life. Your daughter will have to grow up faster than you ever wanted her to and you will be sad about that. You are probably alot more serious about this issue because you really know what she is facing, while she is just living in a fantasy world about it all. She has no idea how difficult things will be. In order for her to understand, you will have to make her follow through with everything on her own. Even if you are going to be there to help her finish her education and get through everything, the parents will still have to find responsibility in things....like getting a part time job during her pregnancy and giving you the money toward rent, food, diapers, all the other things you will ultimately purchase the baby. The baby's father should do the same. Make sure when the baby is born you go to court to establish a child support order right away -- regardless of whether or not the other family is involved at the time. Things can change quickly and the baby needs to be thought of and taken care of first. As of now she doesn't get weekend sleepovers, fun shopping trips for new school clothes, etc. She is now someone's mother and has to learn how to be self-less. Since she is still a child herself and you are her mom....I guess that teaching her how to be that way is still left up to you! Good luck. You are not the first (and won't be the last) mom to have to deal with this, but I'm sure it feels like it right now. Depend on your good friends to help YOU through this, too. It'll be hard for you as well and you'll need your emotional strength!

Deshona - posted on 08/12/2009

Every baby is a blessing. You may not see it now! But one day you will. Your daughter is about to start a long hard journey in life. But with love and support she will do a great job.



Time to look at head to the future. Time will be very hard but she can do it. Support her and giver her the help and know how. Start planning what she will do after baby, hopefully still go to school and after school she will go to college or trade school. There is a lot of things out there that will help a mom while she needs it. WIC is amazing for moms and infants and helps out a lot. She should look in to taking some mother classes, and for sure get some birth control after.



I wish her, the baby and all the family the best of luck!

Iris - posted on 08/12/2009

Well sit her down and have a talk with her. Explain to her that raising a baby takes alot of work and time and money. And there will be nighttime feedings and so on... She won't be able to go out and spend time with her friends and do the things that most teenagers do. And if she still wants to keep the baby, and if you want to help her, then tell her that she is going to have to grow up pretty fast and be very responsible.

Michelle - posted on 08/12/2009

Just be the best person she can talk to and obviously you are as she can approach you and tell you whats happened. And i guess just try and enjoy life now and love the new little person that you are about too meet...



And by the way you are an unbeleviable mum to be so supportive of her. Good on you... Good luck to all of you and i hope she has an enjoyable pregnancy and a great life.

Gigi - posted on 08/12/2009

WOW, I don't know what I would do. Unfortunatly my 15 year old isn't involved with boys right now, however, we are strongly involved in our church and she knows the importance of God's wish to make sex sacried between a husband and wife. Yes you need to be there for her and make sure she understands the mistake she has made and she is responsible for the outcome. I pray that you will get through this for yourself and with your daughter, she will need your support. IF you are not active in a church, find one and use the support of good christian people. Take care.

Ashleigh - posted on 08/12/2009

Just make sure that she understands having a child at such a young age is going to be a lot of responsibility, and very hard. It's not like a puppy that she can crate up and then go out for a while. Why is adoption not an option, if you don't mind my asking?

Brooke - posted on 08/12/2009

Love her and support her with all you have! Believe me it will work out and you will be so glad that you did! In the end you will stil have your beautiful daught and a new grandbaby and that is what is important! Hang in there. It is so worth it. Hard, but worth it!

Lesley - posted on 08/12/2009

I don't understand your asking for advice when you automatically have taken away 2 of the 3 choices (?) Where is the need for discussion? You pretty are saying that you've decided your daughter is having/keeping the baby. All your family can do is love her through the process, because this going to wreak quite a bit of havoc on her life . Good luck to you all.

Firebird - posted on 08/12/2009

This just came to me, it might be useful. Some kids learn it in school but if your daughter hasn't taken a basic first aid course I would recommend it... just in case. Also if she hasn't taken a babysitting course that would also be a good idea because they usually have a section where they teach how to apply basic first aid to infants and small children. My mom always tells me that at almost every meal when I was about a year old that I would choke on my food because I ate it so fast, so it sure came in handy for her!

Kimberly - posted on 08/12/2009

I had my first child when I was 15, he is now 16. My parents were of course devastated but they let me make my own choice and stood behind me. I feel that the greatest thing that my mother did for me was to make me responsible for my son. Of course she was helpful but rather than doing things for me she showed me how to care for him, I will not say it was easy it was a struggle for many years and I have made my share of mistakes along the way but I survived and my son is growing into a terrific young man. Now all that said I understand the nonchalant thing, I was the same way I think it is just a teenage thing I had no concept of what was coming and I don't think I wanted to. Let me tell you I got the concept fairly quickly. Your daughter needs to know you are there for her and that you always will be, but she needs to be the one wholly responsible for this baby. Please feel free to message me if you or your daughter have any questions that I may be able to answer for you.

Amber - posted on 08/12/2009

Just be there and try to help her understand whats going on. Try to make sure she finishes school. My oldest watched me graduate. it was hard but definitely worth it.

Karen - posted on 08/12/2009

What options do you honestly have? If abortion and adoption are out (not saying I disagree at all)... what does that leave except... help her to be the best mom she can possibly be???

I have 13 and 14 year old daughters and have thought about this a lot. Luckily they can't even talk to a boy yet without giggling and turning red, but I'm sure the time is coming soon enough (my husbands oldest was pregnant at 15 so to be honest, I kinda feel like this one is on me to prevent with the other two!!!). Also, my sister had her first at 13... decided to be a mom at 15 (better late than never)... and is now the best mom I know.

Having seen my sister go through things, I think there are a few things I would definately do different than her mom did. One, I think it's important to not let her "suprise" ruin her childhood... I would encourage her to continue full time school as well as do everything she would do if she didn't have a baby... just work harder to accomplish it. For example, my sister hates that she didn't go to dances, football games, etc. because she didn't think she could be a mom and a teenager at the same time. Teach your daughter that she can have both. I think it's important to make her accountable... don't be her babysitter, etc. Make her pay you $5 a night, once a week to babysit while she goes out with friends, etc... then maybe put that money into a savings account that she doesn't know about for when she graduates. Get creative... help her, but make her help herself as well.

Idella - posted on 08/12/2009

I got pregnant when I was 16 and I was scared to tell my dad but no issue telling my mom. When I finally did tell my dad he cried and was upset but we got threw it and all he said was "We can do this". With the love and support from you she can do it. Let her know that you are there for her, you support her and you will give advice if she needs it. She also needs to know that the babys father needs to be apart of this if he is willing to stand behind her decision 100% but that he can't be there part of the time. They dont need to be dating if they chose not to be however if his parents as well as himself are supporting this and are willing to help her then she needs to accept that.



Keep your chin up and hers to, you will both get threw this.

Mindy - posted on 08/12/2009

When the only option is for your daughter to keep her baby, I believe the best thing you can do as a mother is to accept her decision and be there for her. I know from experience that having a baby at any age is very difficult and I could not have done it without my mother loving me and being on the other line when I needed advice. She was in the delivery room holding my hand through all three of my babies. Granted I was married and had a very supportive husband, but I can only imagine how much harder it would be not having him. Yes, she made a mistake, but you need to help her realize that it's not the end of the world. She is bringing new life to the world and with that comes GREAT responsibility. As her mother you should be her guide and help her realize that SHE needs to be a mother, and she must be responsible for her actions. Which means she's losing some of her childhood, but she must never regret her decisions. She will need you to help her remember that.

Melinda - posted on 08/12/2009

I was pregnant at sixteen and I have to tell you it was the most scariest time of my life. I would just say what is done is done, you can't change it and just be extremely supportive of your daughter because deep down, I can probably imagine she is scared to death. My mom had me at 15 and I can tell you we are closer than ever, we are more like friends or sisters than mother and daughter, and honestly their are so many more resources these days for teenagers to get through school and still have their child. I'm sure it's not something you wanted for your daughter at such a young age; however it has already happened and she needs your suppport. Good luck to you and your family, I wish you the best.

Emily - posted on 08/12/2009

just be very supportive of her and help her out to the best of you ability but make sure she knows your not going to raise your grandbaby. just be as helpful as possible

Brian And Tammy - posted on 08/12/2009

Well first of all, I would talk to her about continuing her education because chances are she will be a single mother for a while and you should also consider the fact that you will have to be the support for her and the child until she gets out of college and on her feet. I know that if it was my daughter, I would suggest after high school going into the air-force so she will get an education for free and have a great future for her and her baby. Most importantly keep your head up and encourage her and as far as options, there are no options....... you have a baby, you keep it, every child deserves to be with thier parent. May the Lord bless you both and guide you, and at the end, you will enjoy being grandma, I know I do.

Lisa - posted on 08/12/2009

What can you do except love and support them the best you can, she's your daughter and still needs you and ur support now more then ever...Never been in the situation but both my 18 and 19 have babies

Carmen - posted on 08/12/2009

my mom helped me out with my first at 19 and when my fiance left when I was pregnant with the second I did'nt want to have to rely on anyone because I knew it was my responsability so I placed my 2nd up for adoption. I still get to visit him and get pictures and stuff and know that it was the best thing for him, he is very happy in his home.