All Communities > Welcome to Circle of Moms!! > what do you do with an overbearing grandmother?

what do you do with an overbearing grandmother?

Kelly - posted on 01/26/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

6

5

I have two kids and two stepkids. We share a home with my mother to help her and us with the rent situation (we are currently getting things paid off and back on our feet). Anytime I try to correct my kids, she puts her two cents in. sometimes belittling me in front of my kids by stating that I used to do it (like it makes it ok for them to do it), I have asked her not to hit my kids or yell at them in anger, but she doesnt listen. she cant have kids and i feel like she is trying to "steal" them from me by acting like they are hers. she takes it upon herself to take my daughter to school and watch them when im home. She acts like i cant provide for my children and i have even caught her calling herself mom to my daughter. my mom has my daughter sleep with her and it makes it hard to get her to sleep in her own bed when my mom works nights. She has threatened to call cps on me saying i cant provide for my kids without her and states that if i leave...my kids are staying with her. Im a good mom and I have a job and so does my husband. we take care of our kids and pay rent and help with utilities. we give my mom money for the bills and she spends it on other things ans blames me for the bills not getting paid. she talks badly about me to my kids and my family saying im lazy and irrisponsible and i cant take care of my kids. i work nights and yes its hard for me to get up every once in awhile. I find it a battle to get up cause i dont want to deal with her. I love her but i dont know what to do! I am currently looking for a place i can afford but i am not successful in finding any at this time. My husband is not a bad guy but sometimes has drinking fits and im afraid my mom is going to get my kids taken away from me. She already tried it with my aunt. ????

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms

2 Comments

View replies by

Kirsty - posted on 01/26/2010

19

32

i cant imagine being in that situation, especially when finances are tough. I would suggest that u go to ur local neighbourhood centre, or something like that and get information on emergency housing. They usually place people with kids fairly quickly. I used to work for my local one, and had to do this on several occassions. As for ur mother trying to stop u taking ur kids, she has no legal rights to the kids what so ever. U could completely cut her out of their lives, and there would be nothing she could do about it. Ur hubby is gonna have to get his drinking under control, if u r worried that she is going to try to use that against u however. To get ur kids taken off u, she has to prove that u r infit, not providing for the kids, and are nstable, or abusing them, so when she threatens u, they r just empty threats. I guess the only thing to do is to get the hell outta there asap, and if she continues with her crap, cut her out of ur life, until she can be a respectful, responsible person towards u, and ur kids. Good luck and i hope things work out for u

Holly - posted on 01/26/2010

21

21

Holy Crap! I can't say that I understand your situation first hand, but I have had friends with mothers or mother in laws like this. If it is truly as serious as it sounds...you need to do something drastic. I am sure you love your mother, but she sounds a little crazy and over bearing. If she threatens to call CPS when you finally do move out, you just tell her you already called them to let them know that she was going to call them and that she has a history of mental illness. And if she is really willing to have your kids taken from you, get a restraining order until she finally gets it. But if she is reprimanding your kids and molding them her way, she is doing more damage than good. You have to look at the BIG picture, your kids. One: Is she a threat to their safety, and the progress you make as a parent? Two: Would she really call CPS knowing that she wouldn't get them right away and that they would go to a foster home until they could approve her as a legal guardian? Three: are your husbands drinking fits TRULY out of control and could she use him against the situation? If you have answered yes to all three, YOU as the mother need to change everyone's situation as soon as you can afford to. I know that's easier said than done, but crazy people will do crazy things. And OVER bearing people tend to be a little crazy. Take care and I am not sure if this helped. but hang in there and be motivated to change the things YOU CAN change in life!

Want to find out the opinions of this community?

Add Poll