What else I can do?

Sam - posted on 01/31/2013 ( 19 moms have responded )

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Last weekend, in a local Sunday morning school my toddler was yelled at and pushed by another mother. I stood up and confronted the woman, informed the director of the organization and received an apology from the woman who pushed my child. But I am still furious, can not believe what happened and am extremely upset. What further action can be taken against this woman!? Is there anything else I can do?

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Puliti - posted on 02/02/2013

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It is very wrong what that woman did, but I honestly think you did enough to handle the situation. I completely empathize with your anger at the situation, but your child is ok and he saw mommy handle it. No need to drag it out and go all "mama bear" over the incident unless it repeats itself. Just stay close to your child when and if the woman is around and take further action if a similar situation pops up.

As a quick side note, it might be helpful to keep in mind how you react when people don't treat your soon the way you would like. At some point he will have to deal with situations like this on his own (school, daycare, playground, etc.) and he will need to have the experience to know HOW to effectively resolve these kinds of situations on his own. Of course not talking about this situation exactly, but I'm sure you get the gist. Hope this helps! :)

Amber - posted on 02/02/2013

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Sorry but she can't have pushed very hard if a toddler didn't fall over. It was completely inappropriate behaviour, but you are being a drama queen. Get over yourself, your child will be fine.

Michelle - posted on 02/01/2013

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It would be easier to let it go now. Keep an eye on her around your child but she probably knows not to do it again.

Will it achieve anything to drag her through court just for her to get told off by the judge? Will it negate what she originally did? No!!!

In some instances it way better to forgive and forget or you will end up a very bitter person. What are you going to do when kids get rough in the playground?

Muriel Sadie Missinne - posted on 02/03/2013

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the woman apologized because you stood up to her. Good for you. you have done with this incident all that you can do except make sure your toddler feels safe and knows what that woman did was not their fault and did nothing wrong for that to happen. If this woman tries this again, then let her know there will be police involved. make sure you are willing to follow through on this as well. in the meantime of course you are mad. that is natural. give yourself some breathing time and pat yourself on the back for not punching her for what she did. Go hit a tree or take a hot bath. Take a brisk walk. find out what works for you when you are this upset because you are going to be defending your toddler more often than this so its a good idea to find out what healthy method works to calm you down. so your toddler knows you are going to be a calm mom as well. good luck and take care.

Cathy - posted on 02/03/2013

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I am curious as to what your son was doing that caused her to yell at him and push him. I also am not sure how old your toddler is. I would emphasize to the child that the behavior was not appropriate from an adult. I would maybe bring it to the attention of the pastor and maybe the 3 of you could sit down and discuss the situation. Not with the intention of getting this person in trouble but to prevent the situation from happening again with another we child.

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JuRita - posted on 02/05/2013

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My husband was a childrens pastor for four years. She should not be allowed to serve anymore in Sunday School. Period. The embarrassment alone should humble her. I had a lady at a thrift store last month, yell at my daughter (to long of story to share) but I understand your feelings of outrage. They will slowly diminish. It is an opportunity to set the example for your child (and others) to not repay evil for evil and pray for her. Your toddler should also feel safe at church and the best place might just be with you and not in a classroom setting-esp till everything as smoothed out. Lord bless you with His peace.

Janessa - posted on 02/05/2013

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Ok so it was certainly not okay for her to do this, but in my experience it is best to let things go. Anger, vengence, only makes it worse. I can say this because of what I have gone through. Obviously there are times that people must be brought to justice for the safety of others, but it should only be done for that reason. Who knows this lady could have been having a bad day. It was wrong, but if you let yourself dwell on it it will only get worse. Especially if she was made to apologize. Anyways, I'm sure that isn't what you wanted to hear, but it is what will help you. God through prayer can make it easier.

Lauren - posted on 02/03/2013

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I would try my hardest to forgive and let go as God would want us to. This sounds so difficult I know. Anything concerning our children, we turn into a lioness and we have to protect our cubs. The nerve of this woman putting her hands on your child.
However, you did receive an apology and by you seeking more action, it kind of puts you in the position of looking like the problem now. Sometimes we have to learn to leave well enough alone because certain things we hold on to begin to make us bitter and then we begin making choices from bitterness. I think I would keep a close watch on this mom and what's going on around your child and if you see something at all that makes you uncomfortable and appears as if your child is in danger, then I would proceed with action. But for now, remember that you did receive an apology. And this is just a situation where you have to be weary about that particular person and your child. I'm so sorry that this happened. And I can imagine how mortified and destroyed you must have been to learn that someone has put their hands on your child in an unkind way.
The only thing I can suggest is that maybe you can talk to the Mom yourself and explain to her how her behavior has a trickling affect. Its like radiation, this kind of behavior, spreading to everyone close by. Anyone watching, especially kids, will learn to copy that behavior and that is what we don't want

Mommy - posted on 02/03/2013

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Ohhhh man, the momma bear in me would have been out in full force! So glad that didn't happen to me, I don't know if I would have been able to be as calm as you were. There would be steam coming out of my ears every time I saw this woman BUT there really isn't anything more you can do.

Michelle - posted on 02/03/2013

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She did something very wrong. You called her on it. You got the person in charge involved. The woman apologised.
What else do you want from her? Cash? Another, more grovelling apology? Some change in how the school is run? Some rule at the school saying "Parents shall not yell at or push children other than their own?"
Clearly you haven't accepted her apology or you are worried she'll do it again. Something else is happening here, because the original problem has been dealt with. The idea of laying charges or this going to court is amazing to me - but where I am the police would wonder what I was thinking - and I'm in a country where smacking (or what you folk oddly call 'popping' I often see) is illegal.

Lisa - posted on 02/03/2013

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Oh my god. Press charges!!! Go to your local police station and file a report!!

LaShawnda - posted on 02/03/2013

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Maybe the issue is the school. Some schools just don't work for children, whether it is the type of curriculm (sit down, exploratory, play based, etc.) or bad chemistry between your child and teacher. My cousin pulled her son from one school where they wanted to label him, medicate him and so much more. She put him in a smaller environment and miraculous all these "issues" went away. I would check into the environment. Teachers are people too and not all teachers like your kid. Kids can pick-up on this, but it is not as if he has the ability to really convey to you that he doesn't like the place. His way of communication is to act out.

Kerre - posted on 02/03/2013

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I wish I knew some good advice to help you. I too, would be beyond pissed if that happened to my children but unfortunately I think you have to let it go. But I do agree with those that say write a letter - even to the lady that did it. Hope you feel better soon.

Kelly - posted on 02/02/2013

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What she did was horribly wrong, no doubt! We're you at a church Sunday school? You did say that she apologized. Just try to remember that we are forgiven by God all the time for our mistakes when we merely tell him we are sorry! I know it is really hard when your child is involved, but forgiveness will benefit you more than anyone else. Maybe she just needs a good example of Gods love to help keep her quick temper under control. Blessings to you!

Jannette - posted on 02/02/2013

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I would write an email to the Pastor and explain everything include how you feel. Save it so if you have another run in with her you can get a restraining order against her or other options. That being said, stay as far away from her as possible. It is not worth the stress.

Julie - posted on 02/02/2013

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nobody has the right to put their hands on my child in anger !!! end of !!!!!!

Michelle - posted on 02/02/2013

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Maybe if you are that upset, write her a letter explaining your feelings. Other than that there's nothing else you can do. The police will laugh at you if you try and press charges and do you really need a lengthy and expensive court case?

If it was me I would just drop it and stay away from her though. That's the easiest and less stressful option.

Sam - posted on 02/01/2013

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The class was interrupted by some older guys running around, turning on and off the lights and we were waiting for the facilitator to take care of what was happening. Then all of a sudden my little one decided to chase those older cool guys, let go off my hands and found himself in front of this woman! It was so quick! He was steps away yet I couldn't protect him! I thought about filing a police report but he didn't fall down, hit his head or bruised. Yet I can not get over the fact that an adult woman can push my child while yelling at him on top of her lungs and gets awy with a sorry! I still can not believe it happened right before my eyes. I feel horrible!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/01/2013

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That is absolutely disgusting. But I agree 100% with Michelle. Just be there when this women is around. You certainly can take action, but what will that do? What happened, what did your son do for this women to act out in such rage?

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