What is the best way to explain to a child about children & people with disabilities?

Brittany - posted on 05/31/2009

I was watching something on television about children. They said that when a child asks "why is that person fat" or "why don't they have they're leg" anything about them being different you simply say "because that's how they are" or something like that. They said the key is to just make them understand that everyone is different and to never put stigmas or negative speech with it.

Cathy - posted on 05/31/2009

Thankyou all who have responded.

You have given me some great ideas from literature to being more assertive in the way I deal with uncomfortable situations.

Your feeback has been very helpful. Thanks again.

Joyce - posted on 05/10/2009

Hi,

My children have all wondered at times. I have explained that everyone has something. One of my children has a small birthmark under her eye. Another has one on her bottom. I have problems telling my right from my left unless I really think about it. I have explained that sometimes people are born with things that you can't see and others have disabilities that are very apparent. Noone is at fault. Some people have just been luckier than others. I have told them that noone is perfect and that they should be kind and try to help people who need help and want it. I hope that this helps.

It is a difficult situation because kids tend to be very frank until they have a chance to talk about it.

Penny - posted on 05/10/2009

I was a Mom of a child with disabilities for 12 wonderful years, I was always thankful when children or adults would ask questions instead of staring, When people stared I felt they were being judgemental, but the questions were always welcome and answered to the best of my abiltiy, Sometimes I had to have the parents of the "normal" children help me explain because my other two children understood all the terms because they had been exposed to it on a daily basis. Good luck and don't ever be afraid to ask questions.

Jinglebones - posted on 05/10/2009

Hi - I worked for many years with children with disabilities and one day I took a mom and her daughter with many issues to visit the preschool she would be going to. This little girl was in a wheelchair and had what is called "dysmorphism" - she looks very different from other children, had cataracts in one eye and was deaf in the opposite ear, she had no use of her hands but was very adept with her feet - could brush her hair, feed herself etc with her feet, so they were often kept bare. Also, this preschool was very multicultural, all the children were different colours and spoke different first languages. When we first walked in, the children gathered around to see the wheelchair, and one little girl piped up "what's the matter with her eye?". The mom was visibly uncomfortable, so I took the lead and squatted down and said "This is M----she has a booboo on her eye. She cannot see very well with it. But she can see well with this eye. Can you come over here so she can see you and tell her your name?". And then we all started talking about how everyone looks different, but they like some of the same things. And they were all suitably impressed with the things she could do with her feet. Soon she was just M----. Kids are very straight forward and deserve straight forward answers so they can get on with it. I have found emphasizing the things people CAN do really helps.

Sara - posted on 05/09/2009

Some preschool establishments have various programs to help build disabilities awareness as well (I.e. Easter Seals, Help Me Grow, "Dina-School", your local MRDD.) Literature is a great way to introduce various impairments to your child. I find that the best way to address it with my 3 yr. old is not to elaborate too much at this young age. Speak to them on their level, what they can relate to and understand. Tell them, "I know! I see that! Isn't that a neat wheelchair? I bet it can go fast!" By not making a huge deal of it, you've taught your daughter that it isn't a big deal. Kids are intuitive. If you're uncomfortable, they'll know it's not a typical situation and they'll tend to act differently. It's never an easy thing, but the more light of it you make, the more well adjusted she will be when it comes to differences.

Cathy - posted on 05/09/2009

Thanks Stacey...

Ever heard of Blue eyes brown eyes? Would be great if that was built into all school curriculum's.

I did actually think to ask the Mother to help me explain but was not sure how it would be taken...So thankyou again for giving me some feed back.

STACEY - posted on 05/09/2009

I am the mother of a 9 yr old with Autism and i think the bestthing that was ever done to me was asking to have help to explain to the child. I do the same with mine, if i am unsure of exactly how to explain something i kindly ask the adult or the person with special needs to help me out explaining things to my children. I have never met anyone who minded at all, actually everyone was glad i did so.

I myself get lots of looks and called may names as does my son, there are also lots of movies and books on special needs to read or watch with ur child

Cathy - posted on 05/09/2009

Melanie..Thankyou soooo much. This is the only way to do it I think. Funny. We went to the circus and we took a friend of Crystal's. The little friend noticed a girl with pink hair and pointed and yelled out "Look at that girl, she has pink hair"!

Thankfully I had read your comment & felt that an angel intervened and actually gave me my cue! You made it too easy. But guess what? Got 2 birds with one stone!

Hope - posted on 05/06/2009

Quoting Melanie:

This is a stick situation! But I think we have all been there, here is how I dealt with it: my daughter saw someone with dyed bright red hair and pointed and laughed. I asked her how she might feel if someone pointed and laughed at her for any reason, maybe because they thought blonde hair was funny? And she thought about it and decided she didn't think she'd like that very much. Point made...that opened up the door to explain that there are many different kinds of people in this world, all packaged differently, but each one is here to serve a purpose. So who are we to laugh at the way someone else is packaged? They are here to serve a very important purpose and just because we may not know what that purpose is, because we don't know them, doesn't make them any less special than the next person. I also told her that it's better to ask questions than point and stare, because asking questions shows an active interest in that person...but that her questions should always be directed to the individual to be respectful. Hope that helps...good luck!

I have to say I really liked on how you explained to your daughter that people are different.  Very well put.

Tamara - posted on 05/06/2009

I'd go with a paraphrasing of what Morgan Freeman said in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. "Because God (or whatever you believe in) loves wondrous variety." It's simple without information overload but also invites further questions without being pushy.

Melanie - posted on 05/06/2009

This is a stick situation! But I think we have all been there, here is how I dealt with it: my daughter saw someone with dyed bright red hair and pointed and laughed. I asked her how she might feel if someone pointed and laughed at her for any reason, maybe because they thought blonde hair was funny? And she thought about it and decided she didn't think she'd like that very much. Point made...that opened up the door to explain that there are many different kinds of people in this world, all packaged differently, but each one is here to serve a purpose. So who are we to laugh at the way someone else is packaged? They are here to serve a very important purpose and just because we may not know what that purpose is, because we don't know them, doesn't make them any less special than the next person. I also told her that it's better to ask questions than point and stare, because asking questions shows an active interest in that person...but that her questions should always be directed to the individual to be respectful. Hope that helps...good luck!

Cathy - posted on 05/06/2009

Hello? Can't anyone help me?