What Mother Nature is visiting you? Well nothing is wrong with your *****

Cindy - posted on 04/30/2009 ( 40 moms have responded )

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I am sickened too death, I have haske 2 questions and answered a few(in good taste I hope), but this is unreal! How many other Moms out there have spouses who still expect them to perform while they are having their "visitor"? How disgusting, even after 4yrs I am still disgusted. But him? Oh words cannot describe this weak little shell of a supposed man. He looks @ me and has the nerve to call me out, and ask me what I am good for? Im good for having his babies, that what I am damn well good for! He says well..Well its not like something is wrong with your mouth! Am I the only chick that finds this just awful? Or have I just lost my sex-drive? If I dont commit to him, then he picks on other things, in fact the last two questions I asked was about how he tells me I do nothing, how I am suppose to take care of the 4 boy, (2 being infants) and the floors should shine, and the kitchen should smell like fresh lilacs, and not a stitch of clothes in the hamper!! Now that is an issue on it's own..but really am I that retarted too think he is a complete jerk? And I'm not buying that whole "shower thing either" I dont think I should have to give vaginal sex 21 days a month, and oral sex 6-7 days a month...if Im wrong please let me know!!!! Maybe it is me, maybe I have lost "it" I dont know, but Im tired of wondering if Im the only one this happens too.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Rabecca - posted on 05/01/2009

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though I dont believe there is anything wrong with having sex when you have your monthly it's a choice and yours to make. Your husband is not treating you in any sort of respectful manner he is supposed to be your protector. Here is my look on things yes he is being a major ass but if this is just a part of his personality that has just come about i think he's acting out like a child because he is jealous of the babies it might really not have anything to do with sex at all but thats the way he gets your attention focussed on him and away from anything that is taking you away from him men alot of times do things like this after babies are born because he is now not the center of your world . Sex to a man is not always just about sex he might be feeling rejected or replaced and instead of saying it he acts like a controlling b**tard he may not even know thats why he's acting out you cant do it all and be his counseller maybe make a point of really showing him a you really enjoy your sex life and explain to him (SEX101) he is not going to enjoy it if you cant so talk make a plan on a certain night and let himknow that yes you want it to and if you agree on some terms that he needs to agree on yours as well and if he is not going to see your side of things or agree to go to some counselling go by your self because if you want to stay in the marriage to are going to need some help learning to cope with someone who wants to control you not be your partner. I dont know if you have a faith but this book always seems to help me it's called the power of a parying wife as well as one called sheet music they are of coursed faith based of course but both have a modern way of looking at marriage and maybe the difference way men and women look at love marriage and sex

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Tell him there is nothing wrong with his mouth either so you want oral sex during your menses too. What good for the goose is good for the gander. Otherwise he can wait till you are damn good and ready. You sex drive is fine, he has issues.

Stevie - posted on 04/30/2009

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i know how you feel my hubby wants sex alot too and yes i do think your guy is a complete jerk if you ask me i would say a selfish jack ass (sorry for the words) but i know what you mean for sure on the cleaning i have one son who is going to be 6 months in a week or two and its not always easy for me to get up and clean the hole house every day take care of him and give him the time he needs with me and get some rest myself what drove/drives me nuts is that he tells me that when my son rest that i should but then he will bitch and complane that i dont do anything and im like what the hell and then when he comes home (i really dont think he sees it but it makes me go crazy) but he gets home and sits on his computer or goes upstairs and plays with his radios and stuff like that and if he does take our son up the second he starts to fuss i get him no matter what im doing but anyways back to the sex thing he thinks that something is wrong with me cuz it hurts and i dont want it and i just cant get it threw his head nothing is wrong i just need time to get back to normal so im looking for things i can do and try to see if im just not making enough "stuff" yet or if maybe im allergic to the comdoms or something but he thinks we should be having sex more offten like we did in college haha almost every day he says atleast 2 or 4 times a week but hon i think your guy is a jerk and that isnt how we should be treated AT ALL but if you have anythng you just need to vent you can cme to me and vent all you want lol its perfectly fine with me were women and moms and we work harder than anyone and dont get paid and sometimes dont get to destress so you (or anyone) can come and vent to me about anything i love to listen and help anyone who would like it

Chantel - posted on 04/30/2009

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This doesn't happen to me but I gotta say based on your post he sounds like the biggest a**hole ever!! I wish a man could have a "visitor" just once and see how much they feel like doing!! Tell him to shove it!! And if he wants the floor to shine he can get on his hands and knees and lick 'em!!!

Shawna - posted on 04/30/2009

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OMG!! Sounds like u got yourself a genuine asshole. Sorry but he sounds like a fucking jerk. My boyfriend who i have been with for 8 years NEVER treats me this way.

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Deborah - posted on 05/04/2009

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WOW, your mans an ass! sorry to be so blunt but im in shock! my husband is lucky if he gets "oral" 1-2 times per month never mind 6-7! and vaginal sex 21 days per month is asking a bit much when it sounds like you are the only one doing the house work and child raising. sex during your period is NASTY (even in the shower), throw him a bottle of lotion and tell him thats what his hands are for! and while your at it tell him if he dosnt do his part to help you out with house work and child care then you wont help him out in the bedroom, if he has a problem with it then maybe it wouldnt be a bad idea to just let him go!

Holly - posted on 05/04/2009

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Forget that crap!!!! If you don't want to than don't. Nobody should make you do anything that you don't want to do yourself. It is easy for us all to talk but evaluate your situation and just take all our talk into consideration. Nobody can tell you what is good for your situation. If you do all you can do than that is good enough. If he doesn't like it tell him to do it HIMSELF. I am a stay at home mom. One time, I caught a bug and got nothing done that day. When he got home from work he says "What do we live in the projects now, looks like a bunch of &#@&er's live here". Nobody can do 100% of everything all the time forever. OOOOOH, plz don't be antagonistic if he is physically abusive as well as emotionally, verbally and psychologically abusive (because he IS all those things). Nothing will be solved in a day so weigh your options and plan a course of action that will work for YOU.

Janine - posted on 05/04/2009

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UNREAL!!!!! You are his wife not his slave in every respect, he needs to learn a good lesson in life my dear kick his butt to the kerb cause honey you deserve much better than that!!Goodluck to you and your children, and yes you can do it alone cause you re already!

Lydia - posted on 05/04/2009

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Nobody deserves any form of abuse but it is easy to become trapped in an abusive relationship. My sister and my best friend both went through something similar to what you are going through. Fortunately both of them found the strength to put their children (if not themselves) before their partner and leave. I know the biggest fear for both of them was the question "what if I cant find anyone else to love me?". One is now engaged to a man who actually deserves her and the other is kinda sorta in a relationship with a man who also treats her with the respect she deserves.



Only you can decide what you are willing to put up with and what you arent - but you also need to consider how this kind of relationship is affecting your children. My fiance has tried to treat me this way in the past. Fortunately I was able to put my foot down and provide boundaries that were non-negotiable for me to stay in the relationship. He has not tried any such behaviour since - but if he had been unable or unwilling to change I was ready to walk out the door. Decide what you are willing to put up with and find asolution that works best for you - but make the decision knowing that you deserve to be treated with complete respect and that you deserve to live a life that makes you happy. Do not make the decision out of fear or you are sentencing yourself to an unfulfilling existance!

Kylie - posted on 05/03/2009

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Ok well i just want you to know that if anyone treated me in this way i would pack up my children and get out immediately. You are worth so much more. This man is not a good role model for your children and if this is the way he treats the woman he loves i would hate to see they way he treats someone he doesnt like. You need to take control here. People will only treat you the way you allow them to treat you. Life is too sort to be a sex slave and maid to a man. there are a lot of wonderful men in this world. men who don't care if the house is messy and diner isn't cooked as long as his children are happy and thriving and his wife is happy and has love in her eyes when she looks at him. You have the hardest job in the world and if he is forcing you to preform sex even though you dont want to that is rape. Enough is enough. Do you have family you can goto while you set up a safe home for yourself and your children? I'm not sure what you can do about the step son perhaps contact his mother and let her know of your intentions to get out of this emotionally abusive relationship. I've had sex with my man during my period. i had a bit of a different take on it than you. i felt if my man still finds me sexy and wants to be intimate with me during this time and make me feel good then he loves me a whole lot. But my man will wash the sheets or towel after without being asked.

Trish - posted on 05/03/2009

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No, you're so not wrong. He's a jerk to treat you that way. Personally, I'd take a day off when he's home, and take yourself off for a day at the spa or something else that you never get to do anymore. Let him look after the family for the day. I bet he won't even last half an hour before he's desperate to have you back.



Then when you get home, I'd pack the bags and the kids into the car and go stay somewhere else. He sure as anything doesn't deserve you in the least.

Christie - posted on 05/03/2009

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My mom went through this with my dad and it took over 20 years before she finally left him. I just wanted to let you know that we (my brother and sister and I) suffered for it. So if he is not willing to accept you for who you are please PLEASE don't wait too long before making the decision to leave because it is not just hurting you it is hurting your boys too! I know this probably isn't what you wanted to hear but I thought you might appreciate it from a unique point of veiw.

Kate CP - posted on 05/02/2009

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I think I would have beat the holy bejeezus out of my husband if he ever said that to me. Your partner doesn't respect you and that's blatantly obvious. I would get some professional counseling if I were you.

Cindy - posted on 05/02/2009

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You dont deserve to be treated like that. I've read your previous post too. I'm sorry that his mother supports his behavior by telling you that's your job and you should be doing that stuff for him. You need to decide what is best for you and your kids. Only you know how he will react if you confront him about his behavior and with that only you can decide whats best. We all think he is a jerk and you need to leave but that is up to you. I'm with Stevie by saying if you ever need to vent I'm here. I may not always know what to say but I make a good listener. I hope you find some peace and some comfort from everyone here. Wish you the best....

Denise - posted on 05/02/2009

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your in charge of your body, not him. i think he is not sure of hiself as a man an is depending on you to make him feel like a man. if your doing all the things he wants you to on his demands nothing will change. get mad, stand up, do what you want to do. if you don't clean the house a day or do the laundry, oh well. is his arms or legs broke? if you don't want sex tell him to take a trip to the bathroom with his hand.lol. i was always told that when you don't cry anymore, you don't care. if your not there yet you will be soon. let himknow you are a strong woman with a mind of your own an your his wife an not his slave or his mother. tell him you already have a dad an you don't need another one.

Kristi - posted on 05/01/2009

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There is nothing wrong with you. I cannot see how the way he treats you could improve your sex drive any. The guy is a jerk and no matter what he tells you you can do it without him. Find someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Good luck and stay strong.

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Marriage is a partnership, and he has to be willing to be a partner. Tell him you are going to counseling, then go. You cannot change him, but you can change your responses. You are not his slave you are his wife, you are not married to the house you are married to him. Start with the counseling immediately.

Lori - posted on 05/01/2009

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No you are not the only one. I went through that too. But my soon to be ex husband was physically abusive towards me, and he expected the same exact things from me when my son was an infant. My entire day & night was spent taking care of my son & everytning else came second. If I don't get to it, well I will eventually. He just needs to understand that all of your attention needs to be focused on your child (Children) for the first 6 - 8 months of their life. Infants need round the clock care, and he/she does not care whether you have dirty clothes piled to the celing, or that you didn't eat breakfast yet and it's 12:30 in the afternoon, or that daddy wants his dinner on the table by 5pm. Hang in there.

My situation ended a little different, because I ended up getting a PFA against him and now we are in the process of getting a divorce but that's because he came after me with a fireplace poker while our now 3 year old son was still in my arms at 11:30 at night.

Sheila - posted on 05/01/2009

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Quoting Sheila:



"Do unto others"...........

WOW! What a winner!! You are not in the wrong. I'll be 50 yrs old this Nov. I have 2 adult sons, 3 adult step sons, 1 step daughter (daughter), her husband and 2 grandsons. Including my husband, if I evvvver found out they were treating their partner/spouse like this, I'd have their head on a platter and I think they know it. However, I do believe out of the true caos my family has gone through w/divorce issues, etc. Some how they all turned out just fine and have respect, if not for their partner, at least themself and wouldn't go as far as your husband has.
If the man can't respect you enough for what you do on a day to day basis while he is out of the house and "treat" you better and help out when he's home...I'd consider another route, as I did! This is my 3rd marriage and a strong marriage it is! They MUST do their part or it's really not worthy of you.
When's the last time he took YOU out and had fun or treated YOU special??? Maybe he should consider what he's got and if you made other choices, what he'd really lose!





 

Sheila - posted on 05/01/2009

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WOW! What a winner!! You are not in the wrong. I'll be 50 yrs old this Nov. I have 2 adult sons, 3 adult step sons, 1 step daughter (daughter), her husband and 2 grandsons. Including my husband, if I evvvver found out they were treating their partner/spouse like this, I'd have their head on a platter and I think they know it. However, I do believe out of the true caos my family has gone through w/divorce issues, etc. Some how they all turned out just fine and have respect, if not for their partner, at least themself and wouldn't go as far as your husband has.
If the man can't respect you enough for what you do on a day to day basis while he is out of the house and "treat" you better and help out when he's home...I'd consider another route, as I did! This is my 3rd marriage and a strong marriage it is! They MUST do their part or it's really not worthy of you.
When's the last time he took YOU out and had fun or treated YOU special??? Maybe he should consider what he's got and if you made other choices, what he'd really lose!

Shelly - posted on 05/01/2009

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Cindy,

Are you his partner or his servant??? Why are you allowing this man to control your every move??? Sweety this is not a healthy relationship...and don't give me the well he's really not that bad or but he's a good dad!!! Go back and reread what you have written...He is acting like the only reason that you are there is to service his needs cooking, cleaning, take care of babys and then making sure that HE is taken care of sexually...Do you Love yourself that little that you would allow anyone to treat you this way expecially some one that clams to love you??? You need to sit down and decide what YOU want and what you want for your children is the the life that you deserve and your children deserve??? From what I have read on this post he is border line abusive maybe not physically but mentally and that can be more damaging than the bruises...

Lisa - posted on 05/01/2009

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Nobody can abuse you emotionally unless you let them. Tell him that his behavior is inappropriate and unacceptable to you. If he continues to treat you in this way, find someone close to you to talk about choices. I suggest a minister or a professional counselor. You are beautiful, strong, and intelligent--and very worthy of the kind of relationship that reflects that.

[deleted account]

Based on this and your other posts, I think you guys either need counseling or that you need to get away from him. Sounds like he has you under his thumb and he likes it that way....but you are squirming and he doesn't like that one bit. Don't let him bully you!! For your kids and for yourself, stand up for yourself or get help because it isn't gonna change unless he's willing to work at it.

Michelle - posted on 05/01/2009

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Sorry to say he sounds like a complete jerk. If he wants the house clean etc he can lend a hand. As for the "you have a mouth" comment- that is just rude. I would suggest counseling- you two sound like there are a lot of issues going on, and he needs to treat you better- bottom line. You are the mother of his children and you deserve respect- you have earned it- don't let him make you think otherwise. Stay strong!

Tara - posted on 05/01/2009

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Quoting Melissa:



Quoting Tara:

As an add-on to my earlier post - when I was in the hospital having our daughter, my husband "fixed" things himself when he got too on edge. If your husband is suggesting that there's nothing wrong with your mouth, you might want to remind him there's nothing wrong with his hand. After all, he had a hand before he ever had a woman, and if he continues to treat you poorly he may find that he's back to the hand.





 






I hate men that do that. mine never did and hasnt ever except one time since we've been back together. he knows i hate it and only want him to be with me. thats shocking. i was i hospital for over a week and my partner didnt have to do anything by himself at home and after i got out he knew i was tired and was not ready to do anything (oral i mean) so it was about 3 weeks before i even gave him that.





I would rather he help himself out than feel that it is my obligation/responsibility. I don't have any problem with masturbation, if I can do it, so can he - he is faithful to me, and I know that he is taking care of it himself instead of forcing me to do it, or going to another woman. I know some people don't care for it, but I'd rather he give himself a hand (no pun intended) than put either himself or me in a compromising or painful situation. (To put it into perspective I had been on bed rest for almost 8 weeks prior to giving birth, and was told to abstain by my doctor because sex can be strenuous,  was in the hospital a week, and was unable to be with him in that way for almost 8 weeks after giving birth due to complications. So, it was close to 5 months that he would have been unable to have any type of relief if he had not been able to relieve things himself.)



My point with the post was just that, it isn't her obligation/responsibility to be with him sexually if she is not feeling well, and there are other methods of relief that can be used instead of just the vaginal/oral sex her husband is demanding.

Stasha - posted on 05/01/2009

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What a dick!! Sorry, but that's what he is! First of all, it's perfectly normal to have less sex than dating as a relationship matures!! For one, life gets in the way! Let's face it, those afternoons in bed are just not realistic once you have a child or two at home!! If you really love him, and he hasn't always been a nit-picking jerk, I would suggest seeing a couselor together. If, on the other hand, he's been bahaving like an ass since you stopped dating, RUN lady!! Raising kids is hard enough without being pressured by your partner to do better!! And as for being an ass about not having sex during menstruation, tell him what I tell mine when I'm not in the mood, "you've got two hands buddy, pick one!"

Joy - posted on 05/01/2009

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YOU are a beautiful woman....life is short, kick this disrespectful pig to the curb and go out and find urself a real man!! Nothing beats the feeling of being truly happy with the man of your dreams that u will do anything for!

Mel - posted on 05/01/2009

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Quoting Tara:

As an add-on to my earlier post - when I was in the hospital having our daughter, my husband "fixed" things himself when he got too on edge. If your husband is suggesting that there's nothing wrong with your mouth, you might want to remind him there's nothing wrong with his hand. After all, he had a hand before he ever had a woman, and if he continues to treat you poorly he may find that he's back to the hand.


 



I hate men that do that. mine never did and hasnt ever except one time since we've been back together. he knows i hate it and only want him to be with me. thats shocking. i was i hospital for over a week and my partner didnt have to do anything by himself at home and after i got out he knew i was tired and was not ready to do anything (oral i mean) so it was about 3 weeks before i even gave him that.

Carolee - posted on 04/30/2009

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WOW ! This has been progressing . He is angry :{ You are angry :{ I will keep you in my prayers . YOU are so valuable ! He is NOT your reflection ! Get around a lot of happy people as fast as you can ! STOP getting into discussions with him ! DONT argue with him about this issue any more . DECIDE what YOU want, and DO it without discussing it with him . He is in no position to rationally think through anything . Talking with him will only make him angrier.Unfortunately LOGIC is NOT his friend. If you are going to stay with him { BIG life decision } then you need to find ways to be at peace even when he is not .YOUR happiness is the only thing you need to be thinking about .YOU can NOT make him happy ! Only HE can make him happy. IF he talks to you in front of the kids this way YOU need to leave ! What he thinks is NOT your reflection ! BIG hugs :}

Tara - posted on 04/30/2009

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As an add-on to my earlier post - when I was in the hospital having our daughter, my husband "fixed" things himself when he got too on edge. If your husband is suggesting that there's nothing wrong with your mouth, you might want to remind him there's nothing wrong with his hand. After all, he had a hand before he ever had a woman, and if he continues to treat you poorly he may find that he's back to the hand.

Amy - posted on 04/30/2009

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The ladies before me have already said more than I could. I love Cheryl Cotter's response. Might I add that perhaps you may remind him that he's asking you to put his very precious bit of anatomy in a place that has TEETH. It would stand to reason that verbally abusing you while wanting to put that particular part of his anatomy in your mouth isn't the smartest move a man could decide to make with any woman. Reminding him of that while practicing your back swings with an iron skillet might reinforce the idea.

(this post isn't suggesting that actual violence be used...though I come from a long line of women who have been known to use an iron skillet to get their points across)

You should never be treated so disrespectfully. There are two kinds of people in this world...Mothers and their children. If his relationship with his mother is a close one... you have to wonder how he would feel if someone was mistreating her the way he is mistreating you.

Mel - posted on 04/30/2009

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sounds like a big dickhead. i dont have to say anymore as everyone on here has said it for me but seriously not all men are like that! mine isnt if im not in the mood and he is he'll jst stop and go to sleep. he doesnt :need" sex no man does.

Tara - posted on 04/30/2009

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From your previous posts, and your current question, it sounds to me like he's being very emotionally abusive, and really, you just don't need that. You aren't superwoman, you're the mother of his children, and should be treated with the love an respect you deserve for that.
My husband is okay with having sex during my period only if I'm okay with it (which isn't often), and yes, we haven't had sex as often as when we were dating, but he's fine with that. He even tells me that it can wait a day or two if he sees I'm not feeling well.
I agree with a lot of the other posters - you should look into counselling if you really want to keep things together, but if that doesn't help, or if you've tried it and he continues to treat you this way, you may want to consider leaving. If he's going to treat you like a slave (sexual and otherwise), tell you that you aren't good for anything except keeping house and sex, and put you down in general, you don't want to stay. You don't want your children to grow up thinking that it's alright to treat people that way, and you definitely don't need to be treated that way, it just isn't right.

Elizabeth - posted on 04/30/2009

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I can relate to you in the sense that my husband has done a lot of the things that you say your husband has done....expecting the house to be spotless, clothes to be laundered, food to be done, all while taking care of our two daughters and sometimes my three step-children in addition. I honestly think that men don't see the way they act a lot of the time and it took us going to a counselor and him getting on Lexapro to actually see the big picture. :) He is a totally different person now and doesn't degrade me or pick fights like he used to. Just a thought of something to look into. Seems a lot of the time when people aren't happy with themselves they tend to lash out at others.

Cindy - posted on 04/30/2009

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Quoting Stevie:

i know how you feel my hubby wants sex alot too and yes i do think your guy is a complete jerk if you ask me i would say a selfish jack ass (sorry for the words) but i know what you mean for sure on the cleaning i have one son who is going to be 6 months in a week or two and its not always easy for me to get up and clean the hole house every day take care of him and give him the time he needs with me and get some rest myself what drove/drives me nuts is that he tells me that when my son rest that i should but then he will bitch and complane that i dont do anything and im like what the hell and then when he comes home (i really dont think he sees it but it makes me go crazy) but he gets home and sits on his computer or goes upstairs and plays with his radios and stuff like that and if he does take our son up the second he starts to fuss i get him no matter what im doing but anyways back to the sex thing he thinks that something is wrong with me cuz it hurts and i dont want it and i just cant get it threw his head nothing is wrong i just need time to get back to normal so im looking for things i can do and try to see if im just not making enough "stuff" yet or if maybe im allergic to the comdoms or something but he thinks we should be having sex more offten like we did in college haha almost every day he says atleast 2 or 4 times a week but hon i think your guy is a jerk and that isnt how we should be treated AT ALL but if you have anythng you just need to vent you can cme to me and vent all you want lol its perfectly fine with me were women and moms and we work harder than anyone and dont get paid and sometimes dont get to destress so you (or anyone) can come and vent to me about anything i love to listen and help anyone who would like it


OMG, I literally have tears running down my face, I can not believe how sweet, and offering you are.  I mean you have your own things to deal with, but to just read the words, even if it is from a stanger, that "I am not alone", or that I can speak openly, is the most freeing thng I have heard in such a long time.  My sincerest thanks to you, and to everyone that replies.  I am just so tired, this is my third question, and I still feel the need to thank everyone(not that, that is a bad thing) Its just I need too fight for everything, and I mean everything.  Your words deeply touch me, and its probably th closet thing I will get to a hug or a "good-feeling" as any.  Even though I pose the odd question, I must say I am a good dlistener as well,  and so the sames goes to you, should you feel the need to let things out.  I am so glad I joined this group, to hear other women talk and share like this, is nothing short of a gift for me, and I finally can see the outside world, beyond my limited horizons..........Thank-you again so very much!


 





Erika - posted on 04/30/2009

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hunny run! take your babies and run, you are so much more than his baby's momma and a pleasurer. You look beautiful and you seem smart, take care of yourself and if he's not willing to change you should get outa there! Sorry, if I sound harsh, good luck.

Stevie - posted on 04/30/2009

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oh he isnt that bad of a dad and he does love me but i think alot of it is that right now he might not know what to do

Kami - posted on 04/30/2009

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I don't know what it is with men, especially after their wives have had their children, but something happens to their minds that makes them think that now that we're not pregnant anymore that everything will magically go back to the way it was beforehand. I'll admit that I ONCE gave in while Mother Nature was visiting (back when I was "adventurous"). But those 6 weeks after my daughter was born he was just unreal. I absolutely REFUSED to have vaginal sex (I was still really sore), so he wanted "special massages". ONCE in a while I will. But if I'm tired or sick or not in the mood, he's outta luck.

You probably haven't lost your sex drive. It's probably changed (as I think it does with most mothers) and you need to take into account the amount of time and energy you spend doing other things during your day. You need to sit down with him and explain how you're feeling (in very plain words because men tend to get pissy when confronted about things like this). I figured out, for me, that if I took time for myself (even if it's just reading a couple chapters in a great book) that I was a little more willing to get frisky in bed at night. My daughter is now 10 months old and I JUST started getting my sex drive back to the point where I now bug HIM. Don't get me wrong, it's nowhere NEAR like it was when we first started dating/married.

See if he'd be willing to put something into it to get something back in return. Like a NICE massage (back, neck, feet, take your pick), or run you a bubble bath and watch the kids for an hour while you relax. I've been married for nearly 3 yrs and I only JUST got this across to my husband in the last month. If he gives a little bit, he'll get a lot more in return.

I don't know how helpful any of this is, but at least you know you're not alone!!!

Amie - posted on 04/30/2009

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I'd say no you're not wrong for thinking he's a complete jerk. If he isn't willing to be a partner and wants to be a dictator I'd leave. That's me though, you might not want to take that step. I don't know what to tell you. Have you tried counseling? even for just yourself?



and FYI I feel the same about sex during your period. It's just so gross.

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