What's birth really like?

Annette - posted on 01/09/2010

everyone is different , it depends on how you deal with pain in general,im 37 and have had 7 chidren and all my births and pain have been different,im not saying its easy just because ive had that many because its not ,my eldest daughter had her first child 2yrs ago and she asked me what it was like i said if you listen too the midwife and do what they want you to do then you will be fine , she didnt of course n she had a bad labour but in dec 08 she had her second and again i was with her n this tis time she listened and she said i i had listened first time around , so good look too all of you jeep us informed xx

Lisa - posted on 01/09/2010

Hi Girls - I too was beside myself at the thought of trying to push something the size of a melon into the world, and equally unimpressed that everyone kept telling me it would be fine!



I planned for a water birth, but it didnt happen - pool in use! - but I did have a tens machine, and apart from Gas and air I devivered naturally on hands and knees and did not care what any one thought! It was all about me and my baby! A fab experience and a 5 hour labour so I was very lucky, however on the down side - and there are negatives - it was extremely difficult not to push - I wouldnt call it pain (though it hurt) it was the incessant not pushing until I was dilated enought!!!! I did come out with a few expletives!!!! On the whole though for me a fab experience - I also had a written birth plan which was given to the staff so everyone was aware of what I wanted from a natural birth all the way through to intervention and a CSec. Good Luck and congrats! x

Melanie - posted on 01/09/2010

I had a c-section, if for any reason you should have to go that route..my birth experience was amazing and pretty painless. I was terrified of the whole labor & delivery while I was pregnant, when my Dr. suggested a scheduled c-sect. I was even more nervous...but it ended up going perfectly! I was only in the hospital 1 full day, and within a week I was out pushing the stroller around the block.

April - posted on 01/09/2010

I wont lie, but yes it is painful. But soooo worth it. whithin an hour of having my baby, I already knew I would do it again in a heartbeat. When its over, its over ,and look what you have for it all!

Lynn - posted on 01/09/2010

Labor and delivery is different for everyone and with each child you have. It is an exciting experience. I have 4 children and enjoyed each one. Your attitude is crucial. No one knows how it will go until you are in it full speed. If you look at each contraction as one step closer to meeting your baby instead of as pain it should make it easier. Your stress can make labor harder. So relax and enjoy. This will be the most exciting day of your life.

Linda - posted on 01/09/2010

i have given birth to 2 children. Both weighing over 8 1/2 pounds. No, it is not that bad. That is not to say it doesn't hurt. I've had a toothache, kidney stones, that were much worse than child birth. It's not something you want to do everyday but it is not as bad as some tv shows or movies make it out to be.

Catherine - posted on 01/09/2010

Sure it hurts but everyone in the room ahs seen women yell and scream listen to the midwives do as they say try to concentrate on getting the baby out as fast as possible. You will be fine and have the drugs if you really cant take it, there is no shame in taking drugs dont let do gooders tell you natural is better. I have had all mine naturally but if I could have had drugs I would have. Remeber the reward at the end and just do your best. There is no point in being scared it is going to happen either way.

Stephanie - posted on 01/09/2010

I felt the same way.. I just had my daughter 7 weeks ago. If your as afraid as I was then go with an epidural.. it was much easier on me. If you want to feel the birth then just ask them not to give you too much of the med. I wasn't numb like some people do and it was a good experience :)

Nicky - posted on 01/09/2010

It depends from person to person, a friend of mine had her daughter in 5 hours, it took me 17 hours of labour. We both didn't take any painkillers or the epidural shot, but as any mom will tell you once you hold your baby, the pain you had 5 seconds ago, immediatly moves to the back of your head like a distant memory.

Only one advice: if you can, take those breathing classes with your husband (very usefull if he knows too, so he can give the example and you only have to follow) and don't listen to other "horror" stories ;)

Do what you think you need to do (about painkillers and stuff) and don't let anyone tell you.

Advice for the dad to be: should you have a close friend who has kids too, you can always phone him during labour for a soothing word. My husband did (he felt soo helpless) and it calmed him down 'cause he couldn't stand to see me in pain and not be able to do anything about it.

btw there was a poll over pain in general and most women say that birth pains are 4/10 while migraines get 7/10

Joanna - posted on 01/09/2010

11 months ago i had my 1st baby! my friend told me what hers was like n scareddd me to death i was sooo scared lol as daft as it may sound. but it wasnt as bad as she made out! its no walk in the park but its ok. it does hurt but its copable pain :D weirdd! u'll both be fine :D x x

Caroline - posted on 01/09/2010

You'll be ok Bre. I was mortified too. Just exercise as much as you can these next four weeks and sleep as much as you can too. Exercising and walking make quick labors. The walking will help. When you start your labor remember to stay relaxed. Every labor is different. I had back labor and it was awful. I walked, got in the shower, bounced on my ball. There was shaking and puking and pain. The contractions got harder and faster and I received an epidural and there was no pain at all. I've known some women though that there water breaks they go in get an epidural and never feel a thing. You'll be ok and you'll be sore for the first few weeks after birth and there are lots of crappy things like stitches and hemroids. But just remember to sleep when baby sleeps and drink lots of water.

Sandra - posted on 01/09/2010

Birth, to me was something you will not forget. Just try to relax, because by now you have heard hundreds of stories. Every mother has a different story to tell and you will too. Just remember to breath in and out little by little, forget the stories cause I guess that worries us all. With your first born it will take a little more than a few hours of pain and devestation but as soon as you see that little one you will forget about all of that pain and devestation. So good luck and congrates!!!!!

Lisa - posted on 01/09/2010

No. It's not as bad as everyone makes out I've had 2 daughters naturally & I had Ok experiences. The main thing I think is important is to listen to what your body tells you & if you need to kneel, stand, rock go with it & I found that having my partner there supporting me by holding me up, passing me drinks was really helpful.

Carrie - posted on 01/09/2010

Don't be scared! There is nothing you can do about it so just go with the flow. Just remember that (if going natural), once the baby comes, everything is gone, all pain, everything. Of course, every labour is different, but the more stressed you are, the more painful it will be. Just relax, that is the best thing you can do and when you do go into labour, take it one contraction at a time, don't think about how long it will last because you don't know, it could very well be a short and easy labour. Just tell yourself that you will get through this next contraction. I had a wonderful experience with mine and there were no drugs involved. We did have a couple complications but by the time I thought it was too much too handle, I was ready to push and 20 minutes later there she was! THe pushing wasn't painful to me at all, it actually was a huge relief from the contractions...hang in there, all will be fine!

Marcie - posted on 01/08/2010

My experience wasn't so good but I won't tell you the details because I was terrified going into it and that didn't help and neither did people telling me it is a beautiful because I knew it wasn't. What I kept telling myself is that woman have done this since the beginning of time. It is true that everyone's experience is different. What I will tell you is you can do it and the pain will end. Demand what you need when you need it.

Carrie - posted on 01/08/2010

I heard the best reply to this the other day ... "it's only one day". I had a difficult birth that ended up in an emergency c-section with my son because his heart rate wasn't registering, but you know what? All I remember is meeting that beautiful baby boy.... It's all worth it, and you CAN do it.

Mary - posted on 01/08/2010

Every woman and every labor are different. Just remember that the most important thing is a healthy baby. Whether or not you get meds for pain is up to you and you alone. Don't feel like you have failed in any way if you choose pain meds! That being said, I have had 3 labor and deliveries without any pain meds, which I credit to relaxation and prayer. To be perfectly honest... I had NO pain. My first one I was in labor for 3.5 hours no meds no pain... until afterwards, from the radical epis. My second pregnancy was twins, one died just before birth so they induced me 3.5 weeks early for my health. The only thing they did to induce was to break my water. Eight hours later my second one was born with no pain meds either. Third pregnancy, wasn't in labor... at 39 weeks 6 days midwife said, "let's have a baby" I said sure so she broke my water... 3 hours later I was holding my baby. I was having very small contractions and the midwife didn't believe me when I said I had to push.... til she lifted my blanket and my daughter was out to the bridge of her nose.



There are women who have no pain.... know that is a fact. Here is the best and only advice I ever listened to.... My mom told me, "Mary, everyone has a pregnancy horror story, and they feel they have to share it with everyone who is pregnant..... don't listen to them! You will be different!" And she was RIGHT.... it is possible to have a pain-free delivery, I promise! But even if you don't.... the pain isn't so bad that the world population is in danger so... just remember.... millions of women have gone before me, I am not the first, nor the last and I will survive this....

Best of Luck, try to relax and concentrate on being calm and it will go much better!

Tania - posted on 01/08/2010

i have had 3 children my first birth was really bad

i believe it was because i had an epi dural

my other 2 i had no drugs moved around heaps and used a birthing still and they were great ,not really painful like people say, hard work but all worth it... Good luck, once he is born u will forget all about it

Lisa - posted on 01/08/2010

Its not nice at all. It hurts and is uncomfortable.

But after the pain you feel good. Recovery is usually quick and you have your adorable baby to get to know.

Plus you forget all about the pain in no time. That's why we do it all over again, lol.

I know its scary, it always is, whether its your first, second or third. But before you know it it will be over.

Good luck :) You will do great!!

Cindy - posted on 01/08/2010

Labor is NO walk in the park, but if you think about it- it is just ONE DAY out of your life. One day of discomfort that you forget about when you look at your baby. I'm getting ready to have my third next month & though I've been through it twice before, I'm still nervous. With my first, I was SO tense and so scared. My husband said, "It's goign to happen no matter how nervous you are, so you may as well relax and make it a little easier on yourself." I still repeat that to myself & it helps.

Kristine - posted on 01/08/2010

It depends on you...what you are feeling. I have had 5 kids...1st c-section the rest v-bacs. All were different experiences...different pain levels...I had back pain with one...they all lasted in range from 36 hrs!, (my 1st) to 4 hrs. They all ranged in weight from 7lbs 3 oz-8 lbs 8oz. If you can tolerate the pain you will be fine without the meds I was good until my water broke,which thats another thing, all 5 of my kids the drs. had to break my water! I wish you lots of luck and when you get to see that cute little face for the 1st time it will all be worth everything you went thru...and then you can share your experience with a new mom! wish only the best for you and your soon to be son!

Angela N Chris - posted on 01/08/2010

I have a 2 month old little girl. I had planned on doing the natural birth but I ended up with the epidural. I didn't feel a thing and once they stopped it after the birth it was pretty for me to get the feeling back in my body. Once you see that bundle of joy you forget everything that you just went thru :)

Patricia - posted on 01/08/2010

I've had 2 pregnancies. Both were painful one more than the other because he was resting on my spine. Don't be mortified. Yes it's going to hurt. You may curse, tell dad he'll never touch you again and all that stuff you hear about & see in the movies. I can tell you though. I know it hurts because look at the size of a baby coming through a small space but I can tell you (I can't speak for everyone) it was gone or at least I forgot about the pain as soon as they put my baby in my arms.

Cindy - posted on 01/08/2010

Birth is different for everyone. I am fairly small and had a ten pound baby the fist time (did not know he was that big) - 13 hours of labor, 3 of pushing, had to have an episiatamy (msp) I had a epodurial, beside my legs being numb for hours after, birth for me was good. My second was two weeks early and 8.13, I was in labor for maybe 3 hours, and pushed for 7 mins, it was like 3 pushes. Dont be afraid of the med, you dont have to be tough. You crated a person and pushing it out of a hole, thats plunty of work, make it easy.

Nancy - posted on 01/08/2010

Every person is different. Have you had any classes? I took prenatal classes and also had the birthing coach on the second. Deep breathes worked best for me. Both my labors were about 6-8 hours. I did not gain a lot of weight either time either, which I think if helpful. Keep on taking walks till you are due, to keep things moving. I think some people make it sound much worse than it really is. Let me know how you get along. I'll be thinking about you.

April - posted on 01/08/2010

I was in labor for 2-1/2 days and YES!!! it is as awful as they say. I'm not trying to scare you, ONCE HE IS BORN AND THEY LAY THAT LITTLE BABY ON YOUR CHEST IT WILL ALL GO AWAY. I am pregnant now with my second and planning to do it all natural again.

Marcy - posted on 01/08/2010

It's worse! Sorry!

Sarah - posted on 01/08/2010

Its different for everyone but allways real hard. But totally worth it Of course.I was 16 when I had my son and that was the hardest thing I ever did. I did it with out and epidural and I'm glad it was worth the pain to get that lil one. Now Im 27 and expecting twins and I have no idea what that will be like ekkk!

Michele - posted on 01/08/2010

The one thing that really helped me was being in the water as much as possible. With my 3rd I stayed in the bathtub until my water broke. Then we headed to the hospital right away and things went very quickly. I had an epidural but gave birth less than 10 minutes later. Yes, labor is, well, a lot of labor. You will have to find what works to help you, so it is best to have lots of options to consider and a coach who can try different things to help you, because you will probably not remember any of those options in the moment. You can make a list of things to try, and you may be surprised at what you like. I also preferred being upright as long as possible. With the latest I wanted to be on my knees hugging the back of the hospital bed, who would have thought? They were trying to get me to sign papers and I would not turn around. They had to come behind the bed. I think the main thing is to realize that this is YOUR labor and your experience and to let others know what you want, even if it seems crazy to them.

Rebecca - posted on 01/08/2010

Yes it is very painful. Best advice I can give is to have 2 people with you that you obviously are the most comfortable with (they will need little toilet/food breaks too if it is a long labour, so that way you will have someone with you at all times - I had hubby & sis). Tell them to be as ENCOURAGING and supportive as they can possibly be and rub your back/feet/whatever THE MINUTE you ask. Try not to stress too much (I do know how crazy that sounds) as the more stressed you are the harder and longer labour can be - I found this out the hard way. Do the breathing, walk around, stand and rock side to side during contractions, have hot showers. Just remember that you CAN do it - your body will do it for you and the moment the baby is out the pain is gone and you will not be able to believe what you just did.

Jennifer - posted on 01/08/2010

I had an epidural for the births of both of my boys, both successful vaginal deliveries. The first was induced for health reasons, with the second I went into labor naturally. With the induction, it took a LONG time for progress to happen, but I didn't feel much since I got the epidural pretty early. With going into labor naturally, it was much shorter, The contractions certainly got my attention with my second labor, before I got the epidural. But they were manageable - those were just the early ones though. I don't believe that there are any negative effects from epidurals, and if I ever had another child I'd probably opt for an epidural again. But I'd fight against having another induction and REALLY fight an unnecessary c-section! And I'd try to avoid having another episiotomy like I did with my first son. It took a long time to heal, and sex was extremely painful for almost a year afterward. I also needed some surgery to remove polyps (caused by the scar tissue from the episiotomy) afterward. But then again, his head was REALLY large and my blood pressure was spiking to stroke level, so an episiotomy really may have been the only option other than c-section. With the second, there was a little tearing but it healed up much faster and easier. They did end up using a vacuum extractor on my second, because he was having a lot of heart decelerations, but there was no harm done - just a little bump on the top of his head for about a week.

Miriam - posted on 01/08/2010

my sister in law really talked up the pain for me - I was so glad when I went into labour with my first - was not as bad as she had made out! I did have a water birth though and would recommend that to everyone! It is one of those things that you go through, then baby is born (in my case after 9 hours with the first), and you totally forget what its like till your there again with the second, thinking why did I get myself into this again!!! At least it often gets better 2nd time round. My 2nd was born in 2.5 hours! All the best with your baby!

Trina - posted on 01/08/2010

i had my 1st daughter nearly 11 months ago.i didnt want pain releif because of what people said about it.i stuck it out till the last second bfore taking it.but i was putting her under stress it is not worth lissing to what people say take it if u need if ya dont ya dont my friend had her 1st baby 2months ago and she went in after half a hour and her lil1 10mins later she didnt need pain relief u will know.i stuck 23 hours of labour it real is not as bad as people make it out to be yes it is painfull but you can stick it when u tink of your lil boy u will have what.take pain killers if it is to painfull every1 is different u will know when u are ther no1 else.
congrats to it is brillant when they arrive

Bec - posted on 01/08/2010

i was blessed to have a good birth,ended up being a water birth!(not in the plan!)i just had some gas at the end.i reccomend taking rasberry leaf tea before the birth, think i strted taking it at 35-36wks,it makes contractions more productive.Also go get a pregnancy massage if u can to loosen up your back for labour or two!all the best

Jodie - posted on 01/08/2010

from the begining i wanted a natural birth but because my little girl was spine to spine i couldnt handle the contractions so i had an epidural and after that it was copeable, the only bit that i found was really painful was when the head was coming out, the last little bit but as soon as thats over i found it pretty easy and it didnt hurt too much after that and i had stitches. x

Amber - posted on 01/08/2010

No its not...it sucks so get ready...but its not horrible. For some its worse than others tho. Everyone is different. Just get the EPIDURAL and youll be fine lol Good Luck!

Jennifer - posted on 01/08/2010

i had my 1st child in september i was completely terrified of the delivery too. i would have to say in my case i worked myself up over nothing. when i went into labor i cried because you hear all over that with your 1st child your going to go through a long labor and what not. I had a natural delivery and was only in labor for 7 hours and in the hospital for around 3 hours before i had her. It's an individual thing with your body. Either way i'd say there's nothing to be scared about once you hold that baby in your arms you'll forget you just went through all that pain.

Jennifer - posted on 01/08/2010

I just had my first 7 months ago. It was not that bad. I had IV drugs and they wore off before I could get more, but the pain was not as bad as I thought it would be. The contractions hurt more. The only part that I had problems with was the angle that she was coming down at so it was hard for me to push her out, but everyone is different.

Daniele - posted on 01/08/2010

Everyone is different. Every pregnancy is different. When I had my son in 1997 it was not all that bad I was 20. I had back labor and had demerol. Once the meds kicked in it was a breeze all 36 hours. But I had my daughter in sept 2008 at 31 and that one was horrible. The contractions were worse and I did not have any pain meds. By the time i asked for them it was too late. My labor was about 16 hours with her. But dont let anyones stories scare you it depends on you and your body. Enjoy it and try to relax and all the pain will subside once you see your baby and have her/him in your arms...its totally worth it. Good luck!!!!!

PS I have been told if you take water areobics that it has been proven to help you labor and the pain.

Leilani - posted on 01/08/2010

IMO giving birth is the easiest part of the pregnancy. I had a epidural with both of my kids but it didn't work with my second. Although it hurt more with my second the recovery time was A LOT faster. Just keep your eye on the prize and good luck

Rachel - posted on 01/08/2010

I can only say that you need to trust your body and not be mortified. Instead, try to mentally PREPARE. If you can mentally keep up with your labor, your horomones and endorphines will take you thru this experience (if you choose to go natural). Breathe during every contraction...take it at one contraction at a time. Try to move around and get gravity to work with you. I know it sounds silly, but if you need to be vocal, keep your voice deep, like a baritone in a quartet. I am not a vocal person, but I knew a deep voice would keep my uterus open, and loose. So I said the word OPEN over and over again, as my fella and dula chimed in as well. Forget your brain, and trust that body of yours!!! This experience reminds us that we are indeed a part of the animal kingdom. Good luck!

Carmel - posted on 01/08/2010

For me it was more uncomfortable than pain and all over in 30mins.The most important thing is not to forget to breath as silly as it sounds you will forget. Do not listen too any1s stories every1 is so different, i found every mother had to share their story with me i used to say tell me after so i can share mine,(not much of a story with only 30mins now thats mortifing lol.) only read what you need to know, You know its going to hurt a bit after all it is called LARBOUR.

Kay - posted on 01/08/2010

birth is hard im not going to lie but its still fantastic in my eyes. just concentrate on being able to hold your baby at the end of it all and you will be fine. also make sure you have the people you want in the room. my mum wanted to be there with my first and i allowed it but knowin she was there made me feel uncomfy dont be scared to tell loved ones no if they want to be there but you dont want them they will understand. above all try to enjoy the whole expirience it will be one of them things that will never happen again

Sarah - posted on 01/08/2010

I had my first child in March 2009.Following 3 days of people telling me I had Braxton Hicks, I gave birth to my daughter without pain medication as there was no time. If you can do it natural I would, it was amazing. But do take the advice of gas and air, if nothing else it makes you feel as if you are numbing the pain a bit.

Kirstie - posted on 01/08/2010

I have had 3 babies all natural as I can not take anything I am alergic to morphine codine and anything else along those lines. It is painful I found having a shower and sitting on the exercise ball worked. You forget about the pain after the baby is born.

Deborha - posted on 01/07/2010

I have had 3 children and each birth was natural. With my first child, I didn't know how to breathe, so I hyperventilated. There was no pain because I was numb all over. With my second child, there was pain. The whole pregnancy was a little painful. My daughter was very active and kept poking me from inside, so it stands to reason why the birth was so painful. My last child, and son, was less painful. But, he was smaller than the first two. Each delivery is different, but if you have your child naturally, you will have pain. But, do not fret, because I can tell you this much, when the pain is so bad that you think you cannot take it anymore, that means that the baby is almost out. It means it is time to push and when you push, the pain seems to lessen tremendously. Then, the head comes out, the doctor cleans out the mouth and then you push again........and there is your precious baby. Ask the doctor if you can grab the baby just before he comes out, so that you can actually deliver him. My sister was able to do that. It was amazing to see. Good luck and God bless.

Jenny - posted on 01/07/2010

No. I would take giving birth to any other pain. I have be in labor from 18 hours to 1 hours between 5 births. I just had an iv and that was the worse part. You're in some pain and exhausted but when they tell you just one last push and tell you your baby is out and ok it's a joyous feeling I can't describe. and then all the fears hit you a little later.

Joann - posted on 01/07/2010

Some women have pain & some don't...for instance I had labor pain in my back with both of my children & no meds..(unfortuntely not my choice) but I didn't need stitches...(thank god) but my relative she didn't have any pain with any of her children except the last one... but she did need stitches with each of her pregancies & it was over 100 stitches each time...(now imagine being sore in that area & needing to use the bathroom (OUCH for real!!!) give me the labor pain w/o stitches any day!!! (by the way the reward is awsome!!!) (remember the motto no pain no gain !!! only apply this if you do have pain) if you don't have pain you were blessed either way, by having a healthy baby.

Allyssa - posted on 01/07/2010

how is your recovery different with meds or without?

Melissa - posted on 01/07/2010

I was so scared! I labored for 30 1/2 hours and screamed for the epidural! As soon as he was born, it was soooo worth it! I would do the ENTIRE ordeal all over again! The recovery time wasn't as awful as I thought either. They gave me the epidural about 10 hours into my labor. My son is just over a month and my Dr gave me the okay to start exercising again. I had him vaginally with an episiotomy...I'm still a bit sore from that. Don't be mortified. It's not as horrifying as some make it out to be. It's a beautiful thing! :)